Each month the Tapping Insiders Club does an “Ask The Expert” interview where they pose questions from their members to a tapping practitioner. For the month of December I was asked to field these questions. In this interview Jessica Ortner asks me questions from total tapping beginners to questions from practitioners.
 photo by euthman |
In my work with clients I do a great deal of parts work. Parts work is nothing more than a very easy way of isolating a part of our system to find information about the issue we are working on.
One of the very easy ways of doing parts work is to have a little conversation with a part of the body. Often time this conversation is with a physical sensation. It could be a physical pain (like an aching muscle) or the physical feeling (like tightness in the stomach accompanying nervousness). Once we have tuned into this part of the body we are working on we can ask it question. To do this we simply pretend that we are able to have a conversation with part of the body.
Once I am “talking” to this part of my body/system one of the first questions I often ask is, “Why do you exist?” or “What are you worried about?” or “What are you trying to keep me safe from?” These questions can give us the underlying belief that is keeping the issues in the system. We can get answers like, “You are going to get hurt.” “People will laugh if you fail.” “You are not good enough.” “It is too hard.”
You will notice that in almost every case these types of answers are about keeping us safe. The problem is many times it is trying to keep us safe from things that are not really dangerous. This is an example of the system trying to take care of us by protection us from things that we don't need protection from. Even though these worries are not founded, once we have uncovered them it becomes very ease for us to use this information to do Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping work.
Once we have uncovered the reason for the feeling there is a very useful question we can ask. Ask the part “What proof do you have that this is the case?” When we ask this question one of two things are going to happen. We could get a very clear answer of the proof the system has to hold this belief or we could see that the belief has no proof on why this is true. Both of these are very helpful outcomes.
When the answer to the question about proof comes back with examples it comes in two forms: examples from our life and examples from others experience. When we are reminded of similar situations in the past all we need to do is do some tapping on the past experience(s). As we clean up the past experience we will be cleaning up the issue that is at hand. When we are reminded of other experiences we can tap on how there situation is different than our own. As we clean up the beliefs of others experiences we are again cleaning up our own issues.
[Note: It is possible that when we ask this question we are going to get proof from our own life as well as proof from others experience. When this happens take each form of proof one at a time.]
There are times when we ask this question where the emotion/belief is not going to be able to provide any proof. This is still good news, but we need to take a little different approach. Anytime we have a part of ourselves that is hesitate or worried it is because there is a fear that we are going to get hurt, but in this case we are holding it without proof that this is the outcome we are going get. When this happens we need to recognize the fear is trying to keep us safe, let it know that we are safe, and let it know it can come back if there is a real danger. The tapping for this could look sound like this:
I thank this worry for being…the only reason it exists is because it is trying to keep me safe…it believes that there is possible danger out there for me…I am glad my system is trying to keep me safe by looking out for possible worries…but sometimes the system worries about dangers that aren't really there…or dangers that aren't as big as the system believes…that is what is happening right now…this emotion of fear and worry is just trying to keep me safe…it is just working too hard…I am glad that it is work so hard for me…but I give it permission to relax…it has done it job of warning me of a possible trouble…because I am aware of it I can deal with it if it comes up…so the system doesn't have to warn me of it any more…the worry has done its job…I am now safe…I can move forward knowing what to look out for…if for some reason this worry feels like it need to come back to warn me again…I welcome this…because I want to know about what possible issues are at hand…but for now I have my eyes open and am safe…I am thankful that my system is worried about my safety…I continue to empower my system to look out for me…know that just like right now I am going to hear the warning of they system to make the best choices for me.
Asking the question “What proof do you have to feel this way or to belief this?” isn't just limited to doing parts work. This is a question that can be incorporated into many tapping situations. Whenever we are facing a task or activity that we dread we can ask ourselves two question. First, ask “What is the penalty/consequence for me doing this?” You might come up with one or many penalties. For each penalty ask the questions, “What is the proof I have that this penalty/consequence is going to happing?” Based on the answers to these questions we follow the same steps as above to clear the resistance to change and to clear the issue.
As many of you are aware Gary Craig has announced his retirement from the EFT community that he helped to craft and create. Gary's full announcement can be found on the EFT blog. For those of you who don't know Gary, he is the one who crafted EFT out of his experience with Thought Field Therapy and other modalities.
In one of the advanced Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping classes I teach one full class is devoted to lessons we can learn from great change work professionals. Gary is one of the people I feature in the class. In that vain here are two lessons that can be learned from Gary's work and two lessons that can be learned for Gary's announced retirement.
1) Often The Best Solution Is The Simplest Solution
Evolving Thought Field Therapy/Thought Field Therapy(TFT) is an amazing tool set. It is very powerful in clearing both physical and emotional issues. For each issue it constructs a very specific tapping pattern to clear the issue. As powerful as this is, it takes a very skilled professional to be able to come up with that tapping pattern. Gary was trained in TFT, he recognized how powerful the tool was, and wonder if there was a way to make it simpler so it could be placed in the hands of the public at large. The outcome was EFT. EFT is elegant in its simplicity. I have taught the basics of EFT on the back of a napkin in a busy bar in less than five minutes.
We as people, at least I do, love complexity. We feel the more complicated the solution better the solution must be. The creation of EFT shows us that sometimes a simpler solution will accomplish as much as a more complicated one. Because of this model I ask myself, “Is there a simpler way to do the exact same thing?” before I take the first step.
2) Power of Generosity
As you read the many comments on the EFT web site under Gary's announcement the word that appears over and over again is generous. Gary is a very generous man with his time and his talents. He provided his ideas and training very cheaply. Many of the resources were offered for free so that many could have access to the amazing tool that EFT is. Because of his generosity the community that built up around him responded in the same way.
His newsletter that was published every three or four days contained 3 new articles from practitioners from around the world sharing their insight while using EFT. It would be very easy for practitioners to keep their knowledge to themselves or to only share the information with their own readership. Instead they choose to share their knowledge with the community at larger hoping others could learn and grow from their insight.
The cynic might argue the reason people shared their knowledge on Gary's site was because the traffic was so great hoping to use the exposure to build their own practice. This might be true for some, but it was not for all. When I would read an article I really like I would track the author down to see if they had other articles they had written or if they had their own newsletter I could subscribe to. Many times these articles were not written by practitioners, but by people who used EFT in their own lives and they wanted to share in hopes it would help others.
Gary's generosity to the tapping community created a tapping community that was very generous in turn, not just with Gary, but with each other. I am blessed to have many new friends because of the community that wouldn't have existed without Gary's generosity.
3) You Must Take Care Of Yourself
Gary writes:
Finally, my physicians tell me that I have had a heart attack. I am unaware of when this happened and have no symptoms. Nonetheless, the tests show clearly that part of my heart has died. Accordingly, it is sheer idiocy for me to continue with the pressures of running EFT. To do so, is to risk another heart attack, stroke, etc. No thanks.
I can only image the struggle Gary went through as he made this choice. The number of profound healings that Gary has witnessed first hand and the countless notes he has received is mind-boggling. Walking away from something that he has cared some much about and given so much energy and time to in the last 15 years must be heart wrenching.
I don't know if I could do this.
This is something I preach to my clients all the time and something Gary is living out in this choice: We must take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. If we are not safe and/or healthy then we are in no position to care for others. Often we feel selfish in making this choice, but we do others little good if we are sick. Our health is paramount to us being able to help others. Gary should be applauded for his courage in making this choice.
4) Physical Being A Metaphor For The Emotional
I experience everything in two ways. First, just on a normal level as human seeing how my surrounding and current stimulus affects me. Second, I experience things as a practitioner. I am asking myself questions about why are thing happening the way they are. As a practitioner I was struck by the following:
Also, as should be apparent to most of our seasoned readers, some EFT'ers have been hyping their products in ways that tend to erode the spiritual essence of the EFT movement. This has resulted in some behind-the-scenes disagreements, deceit and other negative experiences. At the core, I prefer peace to pugilism and wish to distance myself from these unnecessary “fame and fortune” energies. As you will see below, I'm leaving for higher ground.
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Nonetheless, the tests show clearly that part of my heart has died.
I have some insight into what Gary is eluding to in this part of his note. I don't know Gary personally (other than a few professional email back and forth), but do have a sense at how hard some of these situations were for him. It was a moment in which something he had created had grown well beyond himself and people were making choice that Gary himself would not make. In Gary's mind these weren't just practical choice of implementation of a protocol, but they were choices of ethics and virtue. It was very obvious in one of Gary's blog posts that this was a heart-breaking situation for him.
It is amazing the way our emotions and physical body can mirror and match one-another.
He Will Be Missed
Gary's presents in the tapping and change work communities are going to be missed. Even if you have never met or heard of Gary Craig but have learned something on this web site then your life (in ways unknown) has been touched by his work and generosity. I would not be doing this work today if it was not for Gary Craig.
One of the most common uses of tapping is weight release and craving control. In this interview Pat talks about the basic steps we need to take to be success in weight release. After giving this overview Pat talks emotional eating and then talks in very specific term about the mindless eating we do and how we can use tapping to deal with the craving eating and the habitual eat (e.g. eating every time we watch tv).
 Pat Carrington |
Guest: Dr. Pat Carrington
About Pat: Pat is as Associate Clinical Professor at UMDNJ-Robert Wood Johnson Medical School, Piscataway, New Jersey. She is also the innovator of the commonly used tapping protocol most commonly know as “The Choices Method”
 Pamela Bruner |
Guest: Pamela Bruner
Contact: web @ MakeYourSuccessReal.com, twitter @ PamelaBruner, facebook @ MakeYourSuccessEasy;
phone @ 888-403-4057
About Pamela: Pamela Bruner is a Business Success Coach, author, speaker, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) expert. After removing her own marketing fears to grow her business from $375/month to a $1,000,000 in less than 3 years, Pamela specializes in working with conscious entrepreneurs to build six-and seven-figure businesses by removing their fears and blocks around marketing and sales. She is co-author of ‘EFT and Beyond – Cutting Edge Techniques for Personal Transformation', and is the co-author of the book and DVD ‘Tapping into Ultimate Success’ with Jack Canfield, author of ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul'.
Resources from this episode: