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Round Up Question 2 – What is something you have changed your mind about when it comes to healing, working with clients, or your own transformation process?

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One of my favorite aspects of the tapping community is how willing people are to share their wisdom and experience. Recently I asked a number of practitioners I admire about how they approach healing, client work, and their own journey. Below are some of my favorite answers to one of those questions. Make sure you check out all five questions.

What is something you have changed your mind about when it comes to healing, working with clients, or your own transformation process?

That I'm not their source. I'm not their guru, I'm not “taking on” patients. I'm here to assist them, not help them, so by being connected myself, they find that connection within them. Kim D'Eramo, D.O.

Whole healing focuses on the whole person. There isn't one technique that works for everyone all the time. I searched for years. Some techniques do have miraculous stories of healing. Those clients' core issues were often found in one layer of the human experience: physical, emotional, mental, moral, or spiritual (energetic). A deep wound or trauma usually affects most or all the layers. Whole healing, moving beyond surviving into thriving, focuses on the flow of vibrant life through all five layers of the human experience. Alan Davidson

That helping clients heal is more in the things like the quality of presence, the amount of palpable safety you can help them connect with, the felt sense of compassionate patience and witness you create for them to ‘unpack their own suitcases' much more than the specific modality or tools you use. Jondi Whitis

Before learning EFT/Tapping, I practiced as a psychotherapist who never asked about the body and the physicality of stress. I only focused on thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. I missed an entire dimension of information and intervention. Robin Bilazarian, LCSW

Recently I've come more to use no-words tapping, similar to Gunilla Hamne and Ulf Sandström's Trauma Tapping Technique (TTT) method, when starting out with a new client or teaching people to tap for themselves. No words takes the edge off, doesn't confuse, and people are more likely to use tapping for themselves when they don't have to worry about what to say. In training starting with no-words tapping gets the message across that the tapping does the work. It's then easier to get people out of suggestions and using language to influence. Gwyneth Moss

When I first started I thought the transformation process was about healing the emotional and physical body. After working with children with cancer, I realized that healing the body wasn’t the only goal. Sometimes the transformation process was about getting better physically and living a longer, happier life. Sometimes it was about helping the person release false beliefs and actually leave their body with an inner calm and peace. Both journeys are beautiful and heart-warming. Deborah D Miller

Sometimes the healing process brings deeper restoration than quick healing fixes. Jake Khym

When I first came into the healing profession I came from a science background. At some level that limited me, I didn’t believe that the techniques could heal everything. It didn’t fit with my “scientific perspective”. Now I am very different. I believe everything is possible. I am open to the possibility of what may happen when I work with clients. The reason for this is that I have seen so many amazing transformations through the years. Transformations that have occurred even when the client's doctors have said, nothing more can be done to help you with this problem. Tania A Prince

I changed my mind about the need to try relentlessly to get everything down to zero, with myself and with others. I've learned to help my clients understand that getting an issue to a low but manageable level can sometimes be enough, so that we don't put pressure on ourselves to achieve complete neutrality on an issue. Ange Finn

That healing can happen in an instant – it doesn't need to take weeks or months. Peta Stapleton

We are all more resilient than we think we are. Just when you think nothing can change or when you think you have done everything possible to make a change, or when you think you have to learn to live with pain, or it's just meant to be this way…there is always another way. There is ALWAYS another way. Julie Schiffman

I now know from experience that many of the things I accepted as true about me were really just beliefs that I had attached to. Now, I don't accept anything is necessarily set in concrete, everything is potentially open to change. Steve Wells

Trying to force change with affirmations doesn’t work: No one likes to be told what to do. Trying to force change by tapping in positive affirmation usually results in more resistance to change. Instead, I would rather tapping on the resistance and barriers to change and then test if the affirmation feels real rather than trying to beat it into me.
This also applies to the more extreme forms of personal change where the consequences of not changing are magnified to cause you so much pain that your system cannot stay there and instead you must go to a different place. There are much more gentle ways to make change without the fear, drama, and intensity. Rod Sherwin

I used to believe that everyone wants to heal as quickly as possible, but that just isn’t true. The blocks and reversals that go along with chronic conditions stand in the way of full alignment between the subconscious and conscious choice to heal quickly.
Alina Frank

When I first started working with clients, I was very intent on being totally present and very observant. I think I was afraid I would miss some all-important signals, and therefore shortchange my clients.
Over time I came to realize that the more relaxed I am, the more easily I can tune in to the client’s needs and my own intuition. Then I can be of service at the highest level possible and participate in the healing process more fully. The more relaxed I am, the more relaxed and trusting my clients are, enabling them to open up faster, go deeper, and speed up their own healing process. Who knew that could all come from me relaxing more?
Janet Hilts

I used to believe that it was possible to heal without experiencing any pain, and if we were intentional about our healing and growth process, we could grow without discomfort. I no longer believe that – instead, I think that discomfort shows us where we need to heal, and gives us opportunities. We can remove discomfort and pain (that’s what healing is all about, both emotional and physical) but we don’t grow if we never experience it.
Pamela Bruner

Pod #466: Navigating Troubled Times With The CREATE Method w/ J Nycole Ralph

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The murder of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and others as well as the ongoing protests at centuries of racial injustice have galvanized many to speak truth more forcefully in their daily lives. One of those people is my friend J Nycole Ralph.

As J Nycole was processing her own emotions, she realized that she was being more impacted by the death of another black American AND she wasn't standing up in as powerful a way she wanted to.

To that end, she created a process called The CREATE Method. It stands for

  • C – Claim that you feel something
  • R – Recognize the feeling
  • E – Embrace the feeling
  • A – Address the feeling
  • T – Take action
  • E – Educate and Engage

In today's podcast, J Nycole walks me through these six steps. As someone who has helped people process their emotions for over a decade, I learned a number of new ideas in this conversation. It is well worth your time.

Listen to this. Take notes. Implement the ideas as you are working on and tapping for your issues and struggles. This is timely for this moment, but it is a tool you can use always.

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Guest: J Nycole Ralph

Contact: email @ JNycoleRalph@gmail.com; Instagram @jnycoleralph; Instagram @wokseries; Schedule a free CREATE Strategy Session with J Nycole

About: J Nycole Ralph teaches the C.R.E.A.T.E. process and helps entrepreneurs, artists, and personal development junkies to implement it into their lives so that they can make an impact on the world and get paid well to do it! She does this via life coaching through the world-renowned company, Inner Access, as well as via independent life coaching for actors & performers. J Nycole has been living her dream of performing on Broadway and touring around the world for the past several years, telling the heartwarmingly impactful yet hilarious story, The Book of Mormon (written by Matt Stone & Trey Parker, writers of South Park). She has also created her own comedic series called Working Out the Kinks that not only makes you laugh but also uses hair as a vehicle to explore and educate on the differences between black and white culture. Additionally, J Nycole is an executive producer on the upcoming feature film, Lola, the first African-American female boxing movie, starring Taja V. Simpson of The Bold and the Beautiful and Tyler Perry’s Boo 2. J Nycole's mission is to carry out the legacy of entertaining while empowering and educating, a legacy left to her by her mother and grandparents to whom she gives thanks and honor for, without them, she would not be the woman she is today.

Let Go Of Anger – Video

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When we feel anger, our emotional guidance system is letting us know that it is perceiving an attack. This is designed to keep us safe, but sometimes anger shows up in disproportionate strength to the circumstances we are experiencing. Tap along to bring your anger in check.

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If you liked today’s video, please share it with a friend.

Pod #465: 3 Steps To Use When Tapping For Hurtful Words

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The phrase “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is often taught to us as children. As adults, we know this isn't true. It would be great if what other people said about us didn't have the power to hurt us, but we are doing ourselves a disservice by pretending it doesn't.

Here is a simple 3-step process to tease out the reason why certain words hurt more than others and help you to identify the source of the hurt. Is it the words themselves, who is saying them, or who is hearing the words when they are spoken?

All three of those possibilities can add to the feeling of hurt. When you are able to recognize the different components causing the hurt, it will be much easier to tap to gain relief.

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Round Up Question 1 – What lessons have clients taught you about healing?

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One of my favorite aspects of the tapping community is how willing people are to share their wisdom and experience. Recently I asked a number of practitioners I admire about how they approach healing, client work, and their own journey. Below are some of my favorite answers to one of those questions. Make sure you check out all five questions

What lessons have clients taught you about healing

If I just hold the space from the deepest part of myself, present to my depth, my darkness, my pain, my light, all of it unconditionally, HEALING HAPPENS AUTOMATICALLY through them. I'm not “doing” anything but allowing it. Kim D'Eramo, D.O.

I always say my clients are the experts and I am the educated guide. I learn where to go and where not to go. I am always respectful that my thoughts are different from my clients' thoughts. If I ask what bothers them about work, I think they will say their boss or co-workers. I am surprised when they say the commute. So, I have learned to keep asking questions, keep exploring and being a detective to understand what this situation and emotion is for them. Robin Bilazarian, LCSW

I've learned that self-judgment of our uncomfortable emotions prevents them from processing naturally like they are designed to do. This is the brilliance of the EFT setup statement. We start with simply stating the truth. Of course, it's not always that simple because we aren't often honest with ourselves – or it's not conscious – about what we are feeling and why. We get to tap on that confusion, the ruses, the excuses, and the truth then presents itself. As soon as we clear the judgment, shame, lack of acceptance of and resistance to pain, the rest of the clearing often happens quite organically. It's always been easier to see this self-judgment in my clients than myself. It's led me to take my own advice and that has made a tremendous difference for me. Kris Ferraro

I learned that no matter how much I know or how much I want to give and support someone in their healing journey, they will receive only up to the point that they are ready to receive. Thus, whatever I have to offer, I give it with all my heart and allow the person to receive what he/she can receive. It will be perfect. Deborah D Miller

I have learned four lessons. People are much stronger than they seem. Motivation is key to healing. People aren't as self-aware as they might believe. Clients notice what's happening in the heart of the therapist more than it might seem, so authenticity is key. Jake Khym

I have learned to respect their healing path and to respond with patience. I've learned to set my agenda aside and keep meeting them where they are each time. When I do this, we make progress–not on my timetable but on theirs. Ange Finn

What I’m learning from clients now is that psychological and emotional safety is the number one condition for healing. That psychological/emotional safety is a much more ‘slippery’ deal than we realize. With the majority of clients they will say that they are experiencing safety, however that is a ‘conditioned safety’ or what I’m calling a ‘pseudo safety’ which has more in common with a nervous system chronically conditioned to a freeze response rather than a true embodied sense of safety. This makes the EFT conversation around psychological reversal enormously important. As well the conversation around the pace of the work with clients. Nancy Forester

Healing is possible even when they are and I am convinced it isn't. There is a deeper part of us that is always working to make us whole and when we can engage with it. Healing isn't just possible, it is inevitable. Steve Wells

I am always in awe of what /people are willing to do to become more of who they really are. Clients are willing to take the leap with someone they barely know and then share their deepest fears and trust that they will be safe. Mary Ayers

Especially when using Emotional Freedom Techniques, I have learned that the real issue isn’t always what the conscious mind thinks it is. A client will often present themselves in my office and tell me all about “their issue” only to later discover that it's really something quite different than what they thought. I have come to realize that the conscious mind often has little idea of what’s going on within the subconscious mind, which is where the actual issues reside.
Ted Robinson

Over the years I have had a few clients that completed the healing process only after I suggested they acknowledge that I am not their “healer”. They had gotten to a plateau and only after we worked on their ability to recognize that it was their own bodies that were doing the healing did they finish the process. The part of EFT that is so empowering is that much can be done on one’s own. Alina Frank

I have learnt that rapport is key. When a client feels accepted and connected for who they are, great healing occurs. Tania A Prince

Sometimes you need the courage to cry. I had been working with a client who had suffered emotional abuse from an OCD parent through all their schooling years. Every day they would put on a brave face to cope with school and the scorn and judgment of teachers and students.
After a number of tapping sessions, the control required to get through each day was slipping but the old habit of holding on to the mask was still strong. Eventually, as we tapped on the fear of letting go and the courage it had taken to survive all those years the release of tension and shame resulted in a much-needed release of tears and stress from their whole body. It takes great courage to let go and cry and we can help ourselves and others to find the courage required to do so within themselves.
Rod Sherwin