Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #475: Tapping To Let Go Of Old Identities

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When we are describing ourselves (or when others are describing us) we identify with a whole host of different characteristics. You might be known as a hard worker, a caring person, a great wit, or a loyal friend.

Some of these characteristics are aspirational, some are from the ways others describe us, and others may have been picked up from our families and cultures of origin.

These characteristics aren't bad in themselves because they help us to understand ourselves and often give us something to strive for. But they can become problematic when we use them as the sole measuring stick to judge ourselves, and when we beat ourselves up emotionally for not meeting these frequently unrealistic standards.

This week's podcast explores how and why we pick up these identities, how they can be harmful, and also how to tap to release identities that do not serve us.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Pod #474: The Reason Why You Don’t Tap More & How To Overcome It

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Note: This podcast is a part of the Healing Fundamentals series. The topics covered in this series move beyond the basics of tapping to understanding the healing process. By understanding these fundamentals you will be able to get more out of your tapping faster. Make sure you check out the whole series.

I like to check in with my email newsletter readers to find out what struggles they are facing with tapping so that I can create the most useful resources possible.

The majority of the responses I've received describe a similar problem, described in one of two ways. They are “I never remember to tap” and “I forget to tap in the moment of distress”.

There are two reasons why this happens. First, building a habit takes time and just because we want to do something regularly doesn't mean we automatically start to do it. In Podcast 201 I teach you easy ways to make tapping a habit.

The second reason we don't tap is because there is a subconscious part of us that resists healing. It isn't that we want to suffer, but on some level we believe that the safest option is to stay stuck exactly where we are.

It doesn't have to be this way. This week's podcast covers why we don't tap, even when we know it will be helpful, and how to start tapping more regularly.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

Support the podcast!

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She went from feeling suicidal to never cutting again!

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Trigger warning: In this email I share the story of a very intense client session that references self-harm.

Good morning,

I hope you have had the chance to listen to the podcast that was released on Wednesday. It is an amazing conversation with Mark Wolynn, who happens to be one of my favorite guests.

The podcast explores the difference between attachment trauma and generational trauma.

To start the conversation Mark shared the story of a client he worked with a few years ago. His client “Sarah” was struggling with some deep-seated emotional issues that manifested in physically cutting herself, but unlike most cutters she would cut very deeply near a major vein.

This landed Sarah in the emergency room a number of times and then in an inpatient facility, which is where Mark started working with her. The outline of Sarah's treatment was:

  • Mark had Sarah hold a pen to her arm like she would a knife and asked her what she was thinking
  • Sarah said “I don't deserve to live”
  • Mark asked why she felt that way, and what she believed had done to merit this punishment
  • Sarah couldn't find a response to that question
  • With this Mark realized that Sarah's struggle wasn't about her own trauma, but rather a generational trauma that she was carrying for her grandmother who had crashed a car and killed her grandfather
  • Using some of his drama therapy skills, Mark worked with Sarah and had her interact with both of her grandparents, which created deep healing
  • Sarah's father came in at the end of the session and Mark and Sarah shared what they had been working on, triggering an emotional response from Sarah's father
  • Mark did some more work with Sarah and her father together

AND Sarah never cut herself again.

There are two takeaways for me from this.

First, gaining a better understanding of attachment trauma and general trauma has made me a better practitioner.

Second, it is amazing to hear a skilled practitioner talk about their process. Mark is very honest in the interview about the moments in which he was trying the first thing that instinctively came to mind and when he was using a specific tool. He moves seamlessly from asking good questions, to parts work, to family systems work, to generational healing.

When I use the term “art of delivery” this is exactly what I am talking about, because being able to tap in that way doesn't happen by accident.

Mastering the art of delivery is the ability to understand how the healing process works, where the client is emotionally in the moment, having multiple tools at your disposal for uncovering information around the issues, and then being able to tap in the most effective way.

That is why I created the Mastering the Art of Delivery training.

Even if you never find yourself in a situation where you are working with someone in such acute distress as Sarah, the better you are at the art of delivery, the better results you will see when tapping with clients or on your own.

I am offering this training four times over the next few weeks. Each weekend has a different start time to accommodate people in different parts of the world, so that everyone can take the class in daylight hours:

  • August 22nd and 23rd – Eastern North America and South America
  • August 29th and 30th – Western North America
  • September 5th and 6th – Asia, Australia, and New Zealand
  • September 12th and 13th – Europe, Africa, and the Middle East

You don't have to go to the weekend that is geared for your part of the world, just choose whichever one works best for you.

You can find full details on the training here: http://MasteringTheArtOfDelivery.com

Use the discount code “art” for 50% off.

As of the writing of this note there are only 4 seats left in the first weekend.

This is your opportunity to move from having tapping work for you to using tapping in a way that takes less effort, is quicker, and creates longer lasting results.

Sign up use the discount code “art” for 50% off: http://MasteringTheArtOfDelivery.com

If you have any questions about the training, please let me know.

Gene

PS: If you would like to take the class, but need to pay for it with a payment plan, please let me know. We can work out something that works for you.

Pod #473: Attachment Trauma v Generational Trauma w/ Mark Wolynn

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In the most basic terms it means that if one of our parents has a fear of water because of a traumatic instance in their life it is very likely we will have the same fear because it is in our DNA.

I believe that one of the most important discoveries in the study of trauma is the recognition that trauma can be passed down from generation to generation through our genetic code.

In the most basic terms, it means that if one of our parents has a fear of water because of a traumatic incident in their life, it is highly likely we will have the same fear because it is in our DNA.

The good news is that just because it is in our DNA, does not mean we are stuck with it forever. It just requires a different approach for the transformation because we don't have a specific memory to tap on.

In my first interview with Mark we talked about how trauma can be passed down through our epigenetics. This time we talk about how to identify if something is a generational trauma or an attachment trauma (in other words, something that has happened to us) through recognizing what he calls “trauma language”. The language we use to describe our trauma will help us to tell which type of trauma it is.

Take the time to dive into this one. I recommend that you listen to it twice.

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Guest: Mark Wolynn

Contact: web @ MarkWolynn.com; facebook @ Mark Wolynn

About: Mark Wolynn, director of The Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, is a leading expert in the field of inherited family trauma. A sought-after lecturer, he has taught at the University of Pittsburgh, the Western Psychiatric Institute, Kripalu, The Omega Institute, The New York Open Center, and The California Institute of Integral Studies. Mark specializes in working with depression, anxiety, obsessive thoughts, fears, panic disorders, self-injury, chronic pain and persistent symptoms and conditions. His book IT DIDN’T START WITH YOU: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle (Viking/Penguin) is the winner of the 2016 Nautilus Book Award in psychology. His articles have appeared in Psychology Today, Mind Body Green, MariaShriver.com, Elephant Journal, and Psych Central.

Pod #472: Not knowing what to say when tapping w/ Nancy Forrester

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Especially for beginners, and sometimes for more skilled tappers, knowing what to say and where to start is often the part of tapping that trips people up.

Just because we recognize the fact that the words themselves aren't magic and that there is no such thing as the perfect tapping phase, does not mean it's easy to start when we are experiencing a lot of mixed emotions all at once.

In this conversation Nancy Forester and I talk about a number of approaches and tools that you can use to start your tapping. These will ease you into tapping when you don't know where to begin and also help you to get more out of your tapping sessions each time you sit down.

If you enjoy this conversation, you should check out Nancy's Conscious EFT 101 which is a free five-part series introducing you to her trauma informed approach to safe and effective EFT.

Support the podcast!

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Guest: Nancy Forrester

Contact: web @ neftti.com

About: Nancy Forrester is a retired clinical psychotherapist, coach, international speaker, corporate consultant and Canada’s only Accredited Master Trainer and Trainer of Trainers in Emotional Freedom Techniques (often referred to as EFT or Tapping).

Since discovering the enormous power of Energy Psychology in the late 90’s, Nancy has been a passionate student, teacher and advocate of this advanced approach to transformation. Nancy blends a variety of research-based tools and modalities to maximize impact and is internationally recognized as a leading expert in integrating the most cutting-edge mind-body-spirit strategies for health and personal development into therapy and coaching work.

Nancy founded the National EFT Training Institute in 2012 out of a desire to bring EFT to a broad audience of professionals. NeftTI offers professional-level training, mentoring and certification to active psychotherapists, medical professionals, social workers, personal and business coaches, holistic practitioners as well as to people looking to transition to being transformational coaches. NeftTi’s trainings are renowned for their high standards, trauma-informed approach, high level of warmth and personal engagement as well as post-training involvement in a closely held community of like-minded practitioners.