Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pain After Tapping

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When I do tapping/EFT I normally tap for thirty minutes (or more). Many times I have noticed that with in the next 24 hours gets very sore, from the top of my head to my tailbone. This is muscle pain and it feels something like lactic acid when you work your muscles too hard and they become inflamed. Do you have any idea what is causing this and how it can be avoided in future?

photo by Martin Kingsley

IMPORTANT: It is very important that you are taking total responsibility for your own wellbeing. EFT and tapping can be very powerful tool, but they are not the end-all-be-all when it comes to taking care of your self. If something is causing your pain stop it. Consult your primary care physician before you continue.

To be honest, this is the first time I have heard of these specific symptoms after a tapping session. But that is not to say that these sensations aren't a side effect of the tapping. The fact that you are having a physical symptom consistently after the fact might very well be related to the tapping.

Here are few things you might consider trying that might provide some relief.

1) Shorten Your Tapping Session
I often use the comparison of physical exercise when talking about our tapping practice. Just because running 1 mile is good for us doesn't mean that running 50 miles is better. The body might be reacting with physical pain because of the amount of work that is being done.

Tap for a shorter period of time might make difference. This sometimes can be a hard choice to make. We want progress to happen now and so we feel we must do as much as we can right now. But, if the rate of progress is causing physical symptoms then we do well to heed what the body is telling us.

2) Clearing Limiting Beliefs About Healing
It is possible that we believe that healing and progress is something that needs to be painful. The old adage, “No pain, no gain” can run very deep in our consciousness.  If the body thinks progress must be painful then it might create pain to justify the progress.

I know this notion might seem silly on the surface, but our bodies are very literal. They are going to respond directly to the beliefs we have. If you feel this might be something you are experiencing you could tap with something like this:

“It is okay for me to progress without pain…it is okay for me to heal without pain…sometime progress comes with work and pain…while other times it is a much easier task…I know my body can heal in a way that is gentle and easy…I let my body and system know that release can come without pain…I let me body know that I can heal without feeling pain…health and well-being is my bodies natural state…I allow it to gently move to this place.”

3) Tap For The Symptoms Preemptively
This is true for all issues. If we know something might be coming it is a good idea to tap for it ahead of time. This is true for both physical symptoms and emotional issues.

In the example of this question at the end of the tapping session we would tune into the physical feelings we felt in the past and preemptively tap for those sensation.

“In the past it has hurt after I have tapped…the pain lasted for a couple days…I tune into that pain right now…know that my body can heal and release this pain…the pain is a signal of something the body is trying to tell me…I let it know I want to know what that signal is…it can get my attention without so much pain…”

4) Take Care Of Your Self After The Session
There are a number things you can do after a session to help the healing process and to take of your self. I covered many of these ideas in “After A Powerful Session”

Struggling To Get Tapping/EFT To Work

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I know Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT/EvEFT) and tapping works, but for some reason there are a few issues that I can't seem to make any progress with at all. Do you have any advice for jump-starting progress on a stubborn issue?


photo by ittichai

This is a very common experience. When we bump into an issue we aren’t making any progress with it is very easy to get frustrated and to lose faith in tapping.

There are a number of reasons why you might be struggling with success with tapping. Here are few of the most common:

1) Not being specific enough.
This is the most fundamental reason that we stop seeing progress with our tapping. We can only be successful with the issues we are able to bring into our thought field while tapping. There are two basic ways we can approach this:

First, we can use different ways to tune into the problem. Most people run into this problem when they are struggling to find the “right words” to tap to. We can also tune into issues by using imagery, tuning into how the body kinesthetically feels, or seeing what the issue reminds us of. Here is a list of a number of different ways you can tune in if you are having trouble being specific enough.

Second, sometimes the reason we can't get specific is that we are too close to the situation, issue, or emotion. Because we are so close to what is going on it's hard to separate the facts from the way we are interpreting them. A good idea to get some outside feedback. This doesn't mean you need to look to someone to solve your problems, but the outside point view can be very helpful.

Most of the clients I work with are very good at tapping and do it regularly on their own. They come to me because I am trained to help them see things differently and/or I can cut more quickly to the root of the issue precisely because I'm not involved in it.

2) Psychological Reversal
It is possible the body isn't in a state that will allow healing. When most of us received our basic tapping training we were introduced to this idea. (Unfamiliar with the term? Psychological Reversal read more…) There are many types of reversal, not jut PR. This is not my area of expertise, but if you are looking for some great introductory information on the different types of reversal and how to deal with them, check out the many on-line videos.

3) Resistance To Change
Even though we consciously want to make a change there is a part of our system that doesn't think it is safe, reasonable, or helpful to do this. There must be some resistance, because if there weren't, you would have already made the change. You can find a list of articles on the different types of resistance and how to get past them below; many include tapping phrases or tap-along audios.

4) The system is not ready to heal or it has healed as much as it can for this session.
As much as we would like our system and issues to heal in an instant, there are times when too much change too fast can be an unhealthy experience.

Take weight release as an example. It would be great to shed forty-five pounds overnight, but that would be much too hard on the body. Rapid weight release might seem like a good idea, but there is a speed of releasing the weight that is healthiest for the body.

The release of emotional issues is no different. Often it is very possible to completely release an issue in one tapping session. Other times, because of the magnitude of the change, it is better for the system to heal the emotional wound in stages.

When you are working on an issue and you feel like you have plateaued in your progress, I have found it very helpful to tap on:

I thank my body for its ability to heal…I am thankful for this time to work on myself…it is possible for me to get frustrated because I am not making progess as fast as I would like…sometimes I even feel like I am not getting anywhere at all…I give my body permission to know that I want it to heal at a rate that is safe and healthy…so that the changes that I am making are long lasting…and for my highest good…I would love to make more progress now…I would love to have more information now…I would love to know what else I could do now…but I know my body has wisdom that will help me to move forward…and it will make me aware of what I need to do in due time…I give the body permission to know it can be at ease as we work through this…I give my body permission to know that this not the last time I am going to ask it for information…this is not the last time I am going to spend time working with it…if this is all the healing that can be done in this tapping session…then so be it…I will continue this work when the body is ready. [How to use these phrases]

When we tap like this there are two possible outcomes. First, the system will open up and give us new information to work with. Second, we will be at peace with the progress we have made, making it possible for us to come back to tapping in the future with hope and enthusiasm.

Remember, every round of tapping is useful and successful regardless of the outcome. What we can learn from each round of tapping

Fertility Issues

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My husband and I are having trouble conceiving a child. Can tapping help?

photo by Aldo Risolvo

There are few things more heart breaking than working with clients who want to grow their families, but are having a hard time doing it. Even with infertility medicine there are still many couples that have trouble conceiving. In this article UK based Sejual Shah talks about some on the non-medical reasons that can make conceiving difficult as well as advice on how to approach some of these with tapping (EvEFT/EFT).

[Sejual Shah is a Hertfordshire, UK base practitioner. She works in person, by phone, and webcam with clients on over 4 continents. She loves seeing the joy her work brings to her clients. She can be contacted @ healthyinmind.com]

Wanting to conceive a baby is a natural part of our growth and development as humans. However, many find starting their families difficult. Using controlled practices such as timing intercourse to ovulation can lead to a lot of stress for both parents and conceiving even the first baby becomes a nightmare instead of the anticipated joy.

Pregnancies attempted late in life are perceived in the medical field as difficult since a woman’s fertility declines heavily after her mid-30s. What many Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) practitioners, myself included, are finding is that these and other problems can be neutralised with tapping to enable a healthy conception leading all the way to realising that cherished birth of innocent joy.

The support I give is of help to both people in the relationship. Men’s stress levels and worries about conceiving are equally important as the problems a woman experiences as both parents need to be healthy to create a baby.

Common Problems with Fertility
The most common problems I encounter in my practice and have success in helping with EFT are:

  • Unresolved grief about earlier miscarriages, stillbirths and traumatic loss of loved ones
  • High stress levels
  • Residual post-natal depression
  • Previous problematic births
  • Couple problems – relationship and communication issues.

This article will deal with the first two.

Unresolved Grief
Conceiving a child is an act of joy. When we are harbouring a deep-seated grief it is too far removed for the joy and happiness to come in. It is like the two sets of emotions are incompatible and as the grief has been there longer it stops the new possibilities from coming in.

This grief comes in so many shapes and forms. “Heather” was 44 and was still waiting to conceive her first child. She felt the pressure of not being able to, conceive. She had tried natural approaches and IVF, but nothing was working. When we talked about her personal history it quickly became evident that she’d never finished grieving over the loss of her beloved mother ten years before. She still had her mother’s ashes in a cupboard in the bedroom.

Very gently we tapped away the grief. We created emotional space so Heather could express all the things she never got to tell her mum before she passed away. Over several sessions Heather went through a gentle clearing process to lastingly let go of the grief. With this approach she was able to create mental space within herself to bring in new life. Four months ago she gave birth to a healthy set of twins that have brought countless joy and new opportunities for growth in her life.

Lasting grief often accompanies pregnancies lost before the baby reaches full term. One client shared, “I miscarried at ten weeks. The doctors just said it happens to everyone and that I should get over it”. Yet, in those ten precious weeks that same woman was already connecting from the heart with this longed-for baby. While it may have been as tiny as a beetle, that baby was still real and alive for her. If we can’t grieve properly over what could have been, then it’s difficult for us to make way for what we wish to realise.

It’s equally important to clear that grief over stillbirths, or other upsetting losses like losing a sibling when they were young.

High stress levels
Stress can be a huge barrier to conceiving. Stress can come from high-pressured jobs, draining situations in our lives, and feeling that we must be perfect at everything we do.

Some of the women who come to me for help have very full active lives. They feel empowered by their successes – and they have every right to – but nobody has yet taught them how they can release the accompanying stress that constantly builds up. Keeping up their work successes turns sour – they’ve fought for their career progression but now it is cruelly taking away a cherished goal.

In this situation, I help them address their work stress so that instead of constantly fire-fighting, their bodies can relax and get on with conceiving.

“Diane” came from a background where her parents were proud of her high-flying achievements. She had gone further than her brothers and sisters in her studies and was a well-paid executive. That hard work attitude had helped her create huge success, but hard work didn’t pay off when it came to conceiving. She and her husband had been trying for years and wondered if the time had come to give up. But it wasn’t in her nature to quit – hadn’t she fought for each promotion?

Initially she came to see me for help in moving up the next rung of the ladder up to the boardroom. She saw the glass ceiling and was determined to crack it.

Diane and I worked to help her relax in these work situations and so have more energy to put into her work. She learned to thrive without high levels of stress in her demanding role by using EFT in sessions with me, and then learning how to do basic structured tapping exercises outside of our work. Her body realised she didn’t need to feel stressed all the time.

In that process of releasing the stress she conceived naturally and used our work to help her manage her still hectic schedule with the demands the growing baby was making on her physically, so that she could still nurture the foetus. Her baby son was born bouncingly healthy one year ago. With the work we had already done she was able to devise a healthy strategy for balancing her return to her career while enjoying motherhood in a balanced way.

EFT as a stress management tool can also support a man experiencing problems with sperm health as a result of a pressurized life-style.

Conclusion
There is a very complicated connection between our physical and emotional health. Many times the emotions we are carrying prevent the body from fulfilling its potential. By doing work on these core emotional issues we can see transformation in our physical health.

[Note From Gene: Recently I had the opportunity to interview Dene Ballantine about the grief some people feel after being part of an abortion decision. You can hear that interview in Pod #10]

Tapping For Learning and Trying New Things (part 2)

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Can I use meridian tapping (EvEFT) to help me learning new things?

photo by Steven S.

In part 1 of the series (“Attitude About Learning“) we looked at the way our beliefs (conscious and subconscious) can prevent us from learning something new, with all our energy. In this part we will look at how to use tapping in the process of learning or studying something new.

Process of Learning
Here I’ve found tapping useful in three parts of the learning process: before, during, and after.

Before
We live in a time of multi-tasking. Study after study has shown that multi-tasking is not a good way to work or learn because we spend too much time and energy shifting from one activity to another and another. We are going to study at our best if we are completely focused on that task.

To get ready for a study session I will

  • Clear my mind to be focused and relaxed
  • Remove any worry I have about the topic I am studying
  • Be open to knowing I will able to learn in this time

It only takes a minute or two and looks something like this:

I am going to spend the next 45 minutes working on [learning more Spanish]…I am happy to have this time to commit to learning and expanding myself…today has been a hectic day…I have a lot of things on my mind…I can deal with all of these things later…for the next 45 minutes I am going to be present to the task at hand…I let go of any of the worries I have about the other things going on in my life…I will get back to them after I study…It is now time to be present to the task at hand

I might be worried about my ability to learn this stuff…this might be outside my comfort zone…but that is what learning is about…stretching myself…I have learned lots of things in the past…and I am going to learn this…even if it takes longer than I like…I am going to do this…humans are made to learn new things…humans are made to adapt…I can and will learn during this time

Any blocks that I have to learning…I let them go…I know my mind is fertile…I make my mind open for the next 45 minutes to be a sponge…my intention is not just to understand…but to make this new information part of me…it is such a blessing to be able to learn in this way…at this time.

During
Tapping can also be a very powerful tool when it comes to learning something that is difficult. When I’m trying to learn something new (be it a concept, a definition, vocabulary, or even a phone number) I will say what I am trying to learn and remember out loud a few times while tapping form point to point.

After
After I have finished a study session I will spend a few more minutes tapping. I do this mostly from the point of view of gratitude. I believe we will return to anything we are grateful for.

My post study tapping looks like this:

I am so happy that I had this time to commit to learning something new…I learned more in this time than I think…there are concepts and ideas that have become part of me in ways I can't imagine…the simple fact I have time to learn something is a blessing…as the rest of the day unfolds and through my sleep tonight I know this information is going to be integrated more fully…any blocks I have to making this information a part of me I let go right now…I look forward to the next chance I get to study this material…because I will surprise myself with how much I have remembered.

Conclusion
There are two basic ways we can use tapping to help us learn more. We can use it to clear any of the stumbling blocks we have to learning something new, and we can use it to be fully present during our study session..

Tapping For Learning and Trying New Things (part 1) – AKA Finding the reason we don’t do the things that will improve our lives

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Can I use meridian tapping (EvEFT) to help me learning new things? [Note: In this part of the series I use tapping to learn something new as to show how we can find the reasons we talk ourselves out of making the choices and taking the action that will move us forward.]

photo by m00by

Tapping is a great tool for learning new things and can be helpful in two regards. The first is our attitude about learning new thing and the second is the process of learning new things.

Attitude About Learning
On the surface it might see a little odd to consider our attitude towards learning. It makes sense that we might not be skilled in a certain area, making learning something harder for us than it is for others. It would seem that if we want to learn something new our attitude would be in the right place. But this isn't always the case.

No matter how much we want to make a change in our lives it is very important to consider the consequences of the change. Every change we attempt is going to have a ripple effect in other parts of our life. If part of us believes that these ripples are going to have negative consequences them we are going to talk ourselves out of making the choices we need to make to achieve our goal.

A very simple example of this is the fear of failure preventing us from stepping out. When we have a part of us that is very scared that we might fail — and believes failure to be painful — it is going to work very hard to come up with excuses not to spend time working on the new skill. (“I can do it later.” “I need to do the dishes first.” “I don't study well at night. I can wait until morning.”)

In this case, fears of the pain of failure is going to prevent us from trying, even if we know the new choice is something we really want. If we are able to name the beliefs that are going to prevent us from moving forward and clean them out then we are going to be much more likely to make the changes we want.

As we look at doing something new, like learning, I am going to speak of these in terms of cost because with everything we do we are spending a number of resources. Not only do we sometimes spend our money to make a change we are also spending our time, our emotions, and our energy.

Just because something is a cost doesn't mean it is bad. I am very happy to pay with my emotions, my time, and my money for things that bring me joy and improve my life. But understanding that there is a cost involved in making changes helps us more clearly understand where we might resist making this change.

In each of the areas I am providing a series of questions you can ask to help you unearth the tappable issues. These are by no means comprehensive but will provide a good start.

The Cost of Failure
The reason I used this example above is because it is the most obvious source of worry that can prevent us from trying to learn something new. No one likes to feel like a failure. It is no fun to invest our time, resources, and emotions in to something only to have it fail. Not only do we feel like was have wasted these resources we don't like having it pointed out that we are no good at something.

Ask yourself:

  • What happens if I try this and fail? How will I feel?
  • How have I felt about failure in the past?
  • What are other people going to think if I say I am going to do this and then don't follow through?
  • How will I feel if I only accomplish half my goal?

Failure is a fact of life (at least for me). I am not going to get everything right the first time. The more we can do to equip ourselves to deal with these failure the easier it is going to be for us to try something new.

Many times the fear of failure feels so much bigger than actual consequences of failing itself. There are times were I have been able to tap on the idea of “It is possible I might fail at this, but it won't be the end of the world. The upside to trying is so much bigger than giving it a go and failing.”

The Cost of Time and Other Resources
Almost every change in our life takes more than simply changing our mind. If we are going to learn something new we have to spend time in the learning process. In some cases it is even going to cost us money for classes and/or study aides. It is important to understand what these costs are before we begin.

Ask yourself:

  • How much time am I going to have to invest to achieve my goal?
  • What am I going to have to give up in order to have the time to work to my goal?
  • How much money is it going to cost me?
  • Is the goal worth the time and money it is going to cost to achieve the goal?
  • How is perusing the goal going to effect other people in my life? [Ex. Does going to night school mean less time with the family?]
  • Is there anyone in my life who is going to be frustrated with me if I invest my time in this goal?

This might seem like a trivial example, but this is something that really came up with a client. My client “Jane” was looking to add exercise to her daily routine, but was worried how the other ladies at the coffee shop would take it if she didn't come in and talk every day. These were not her close friends. There was still a part of her that was worried what they were going to think. Exercising was going to cost her time hanging out in the coffee shop. Once we were able to name this we were able to tap on the fact that it really didn't matter what the ladies in the coffee shop thought about her. The exercise was much more important.

The Cost of Achievement
This is an example of another cost that doesn't always come right to mind. There are consequences (and perceived consequences) to us achieving our goal. The fear of success can talk us out of making the choices and changes we want to make.

Ask yourself:

  • What happens if I do achieve this?
  • Will people expect more of me?
  • Will people expect me to live up to this standard again and again?
  • What happens if I achieve this, enjoy the change, and then loss it?
  • What will other people of me think if I achieve this?

The last question is a tricky one because it brings up a fear that on the surface is very illogical. Why would what other people think matter? The amazing thing is how commonly this fear can affect us. For example, we could be worried that other people in our lives are going to think that we are snobbish because we have taking the time and effort to move forward.

I am sure you have people like this in your life. They say things (or think things) like, “Who does she think she is getting a new job? Does she think she is better than the rest of us?”

Worried about how others are going to perceive our success can be very powerful is slowing us down. Again, I am not suggesting that we don't act because people might think this way, but instead by naming these worries we are able to tap our way emotionally clear making it easier for us to act.

Conclusion
It is possible for us to have thoughts and feelings that prevent us from trying to do new things or learn new things. It is important that we spend a little time identifying and clearing these issues before we start something new.

This doesn't mean that we need to be completely clear before we start. This is going to be an on going process. As we do or learn new things we are going to find new resistant thoughts and feelings.

What is most important is to be away of the thoughts and feelings that are possible pit falls. We are much better dealing with the possible issues that are named than the ones that go unnamed.

In part 2 of this series (“Act of Learning“) we will look at using tapping during the act of learning and studying.