Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Ev/EFT – Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques

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Why do you use the term Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EvEFT) instead of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)?

When Gary Craig introduced EFT to the world I believe he did a very smart thing when chose the name. He called it Emotional Freedom Techniques. Most people don’t notice the “s” on the end of the word techniques, because it seems like one technique.

As far as I can tell Gary did this because he knew EFT would grow and change over time, as it indeed has. Part of the reason Gary has shared EFT with what he calls an “open hand” was to allow this amazing growth to occur easily.

But this has not always been a good thing.  Here are Gary's words:

Over the years, I’ve discovered that this open-handed distribution system has obvious benefits for everyone – but has many significant challenges as well. First, with so many diverse attitudes and abilities among the EFT Community, EFT has been spread in an inconsistent manner. While some of this has simply reflected individual variations and personalities of the presenters, some of it, unfortunately, has been downright unethical or embarrassing. These inconsistencies, if left unattended, will tend to erode EFT’s credibility in the world.

Accordingly, if we are going to maximize the EFT experience for the ultimate good of all, there are some common sense ethical items that need to be observed…In essence, I wish to grant the freedom to ethically practice EFT, give workshops and create organizations, books, films, etc. so long as it is made clear to the public that your EFT activity represents YOUR own ideas, angles, versions, etc. and not necessarily those of Gary Craig or EFT.”

That is why I use the term EvEFT. It represents the fact that this tool set has evolved past Gary’s work and these are my own ideas. That is not to say my ideas are better. They are just my own.

Tapping/EFT Q & A is provided as a public courtesy to help expand the use of EFT in the world. While Gary Craig and EFT encourage such efforts, they cannot evaluate or endorse the multitudes of them that exist. Thus this website represents the good faith ideas of its founders but not necessarily those of Gary Craig or EFT.

EFT is a very flexible improvement tool that can be used for just about everything. I am using my version of it here and have had extraordinary results and urge you to contact me for more. The original version and complete training can be found at http://www.emofree.com

After A Powerful EFT Session

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I have found EFT to be a very powerful tool. I have used it to clean up a number of deep emotional issues, but have noticed a number of unusual sensations after doing a session. Sometime I am really tired after a session, while other times I feel a little more emotional than when I started but wake up the next day feeling like a new person. Are these common experiences? Is there anything I can do after a session to make sure I’m taking care of myself? Is there anything I can do to make sure the results of the session stick?

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a very powerful tool, but as stated in the question there can be effects of doing EFT that go beyond just the issues we are working on. When we are doing EFT (regardless of the magnitude of the issue) we need to pay very close attention to the information our bodies and emotions are giving us.

Here are 4 basic things to keep in mind.

1) Knowing when enough is enough
Doing any sort of change work can stir up memories and beliefs that we are not ready to deal with. EFT is wonderful because it allows us to creep slowly up on problems, but there are times where we uncover more than we can handle on our own.

Also, there can be a point at which we have done as much healing as is healthy just then, having resolved only part of the problem. We might feel driven to soldier on because we’re not done with an issue, but we need to accept whatever stopping point is best for us.

Just because running 3 miles a day is healthy doesn’t mean running 100 miles a day is better. The body can only do so much before it needs rest. It’s the same with EFT. Just because there is more work to do doesn’t mean the body can deal with that work right now.

I had a client who was physically exhausted after just three rounds of tapping. He headed right to bed after less than 5 minutes of work.

Listen to your body…It will know when you are done for the session.

2) How to care for yourself after a session
There are lots of different ways the body can respond to an EFT session. Even when we work on the same issues, no two sessions produce the same effects in us. These feeling can range from light and euphoric to totally wiped out. Regardless of how we feel after a session there are two basic things we can do to take care of ourselves.

First, make sure you drink plenty of water. This is good advice even if you don’t do an EFT session, but it is especially important after doing EFT because we generally use and release a lot of energy. It takes time for our bodies to recharge. Water will help this process. You don’t need to drink so much that you float away, but it is a good idea to keeping sipping as the day unfolds.

Second, make sure you get enough rest. If you expend or release a lot of energy during an EFT session it’s a good idea to take it easy. You shouldn’t do anything that requires a great deal of energy, and you should make sure you get a good night’s sleep or even take a nap. As you will see in the next item, sleep can be important in the healing

3) The next day
When clients have a particularly emotional session I like to touch base the next day to see how he or she is doing. There have been times when we’ve done all we can do in a session, but my client is still emotional. When I touch base with my client the next day he/she is doing great. Many have described themselves as feeling like “a new person”.

When we are doing profound work it’s going to affect many parts of our life, not just the issue we are working through. The best analogy I’ve come up with is that it’s like doing a software update on our computers. Sometimes the changes are so fundamental to the way the computer works that the computer needs to be restarted for the changes to take effect.

I see a similar thing happening when we do major energy work. It takes a “reboot” for the changes to work through our system. This happens for us when we sleep. Scientists are still not completely sure why we sleep or dream. Many of the theories assume this is the time for our minds to sort out all the new data we’ve received throughout the day and integrate it fully into the body/mind/spirit.

The next time you do a major EFT session, either with a practitioner or on your own, pay attention to how you feel the next day. Even if you have a fitful night’s sleep, you will notice great changes beyond what you felt at the end of a session.

4) Getting it to stick
Sometimes we can find it very hard to sit down to do an EFT session. We know we will benefit from it, but something just keeps us from doing it. The reason is because in some fashion our issues benefit us. (See Getting Started) The same thing can happen after we do EFT. There may be something in us that resists the change working its way totally through the system (like discussed about) because something in us still sees benefits in keeping the problem.

I have found a very simple way around this problem. Tapping on it! (*wink*)

At the end of a session it is really easy to add some tapping phases like this:

I am so happy I had the chance to spend some time doing EFT…I am thankful that my body was able to reveal the areas that needed healing through my physical body and my emotions…I am thankful I found the time to do this work…I know over the next few hours and days these changes are going to slowly creep into every part of my life…the life, love, and energy that was opened up in this session is not going to just stay in this session…but is going to continue into my life….As my day unfolds I give my body permission to keep giving me information about the areas that need healing…I give myself permission to know this healing work is not over…I will have opportunities to do more work…Over the next few hours as these changes and healings become more and more real they are going to fill my life…tonight as I sleep I am going to have a restful night’s sleep…As I sleep these changes and healing are going to become more and more real in my life…My dreams will help me to sort out these changes to make them permanent…As good as I feel now…I am going to wake up tomorrow and every day of my life feeling better and better…As good as this feels…and it feels great…ever better things are to come…I am thankful for the chance to learn more and heal more [How to use these tapping phrases]

Not Knowing What To Tap On/Tapping To Help Getting To Sleep/Tapping For Relaxation

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There are times when I want to spend a little time tapping, but I don’t have a specific issue or I don’t really want to dive into a very emotional issue. Is there any benefit to just tapping with no particular intention? [Note: The example in this article on how to tap without words is a perfect way to tap to help you get a good night’s sleep or to just relax.]


photo by James Blann

One of the reason I love Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is because it costs us nothing more than a little time to do. So even if we aren’t doing EFT in the most effective fashion we are just spending a few minutes thinking positively about our health and well-being.

Also, it is important to remember that if we are tapping while there is any sort of block in our thoughtfields while we are tapping (even if we aren’t consciously aware of it) we are doing work on it. It’s not the words we are saying but the thoughts that we have while we are tapping that make the change.

To this end I do some tapping every night before I go to bed in which I don’t think of anything in particular. I just let whatever needs to be bubbling up to bubble up on its own. I will either do this while taking a short walk or while listening to or watching something (podcast, DVD, or evening news).

A great deal has been written in the EvEFT community about which hand we should tap with or what side of the body we should be tapping on. (For my point of view on this topic, click here.)  To take advantage of the possibility that there is benefit from switching this up I tap in every possible combination.

The pattern looks like this:

  1. Take a long cleansing deep breath to clear my mind and relax my
  2. With my right hand starting on the top of my head I work my way down tapping on each point on the right side of the body until I have tapped on every point.
  3. With my left hand starting on the top of my head I work my way down tapping on each point on the left side of my body until I have tapped on every point.
  4. With my right hand starting on the top of my head I work my way down tapping on each point on the left (notice the switch) side of the body until I have tapped on every point.
  5. With my left hand starting on the top of my head I work my way down tapping on each point on the right (notice the switch) side of my body until I have tapped on every point.
  6. Repeat

I do this for about 10 minutes. It is very, very relaxing and puts me in a great place to climb into bed for a good night’s sleep.

Recently I have been experimenting with a slightly different approach to this tapping routine. I was introduced to it by Angela Treat Lyonin her blog. You would do the exact same exercise as explained above but would tap in the way she describes on her web site (which you should visit because it has lots of great stuff). She has come with something called Cascade Tapping.

I've used Cascade Tapping for hundreds of people now (both in live sessions and in my teleclasses), and I've found that this way of tapping helps take them from thought to feeling in seconds.

It's really very simple. Instead of jumping from one point to the next and tapping on each one 5 – 7 times, you move gently and gradually in little half-inch increments from one point to the next, only tapping on the incremental spots once (see diagram).

There are many variations and ideas about where to start, tapping but I like to start at the top of the head with very gentle circle of tapping, then trek on down to the third eye, and on down. No hard fast rules.

I'm finding that there's an almost instant yawn or sigh factor for anxiety and fear, in particular. I do it while I'm driving in heavy weather and am calm almost immediately.

Remember to be easy with yourself. Don’t feel like you need to accomplish too much with your tapping, knowing that any time you spend tapping is a small step forward to health and well-being. Our objective is not to be standing in the right place but to instead be constantly moving forward (even if it is only a little at a time).

Children Who Are Reluctant To Tap

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My 8-year-old son has been taught how to tap by an EFT Practitioner and I have done it with him off and on. When something comes up and I tell him to tap on it, he doesn’t want to! Do you have any suggestions on helping my son make tapping a part of his life?

[[This article is written by Angie Muccillo. Angie is the author of “Tapping For Kids‚ A Children's Guide To EFT.” This book puts the extraordinary power of EFT firmly into the hands of children and young people, as a tool for life, to help them overcome their fears, worries and everyday traumas as well as build their self-esteem. Details on Angie's book can be found at Dragon Rising and she can be reached directly at http://tappingforkids.com]


photo by Ashok Saravanan

Let’s look at some of the reasons why children may not tap and what you can do to create an environment where tapping is encouraged.

Why Kids Won't Tap
Sometimes children will resist tapping even when they have been taught to use it and it has worked for them in the past. Firstly, no matter how much you may want your child to tap on something because you know it will help them, it is important to remember that you can’t “make” a child tap if they don’t want to. It is especially important to understand that EFT is not a strategy for getting children to do what you want or to get them to behave in a certain way. It is a way to help children release their emotions if and when THEY want to. We can show them when and how to tap but the decision to tap must ultimately be the child’s. Sometimes they may prefer to tap alone and other times they may prefer to tap with you or another person.

Some reasons why children may resist tapping:

1. Children may resist tapping because they are being “told” to tap rather than being “encouraged” to tap. When given as a directive children may react with a defiant or rebellious attitude. It can become “another thing mum nags me about” as opposed to when a child realizes that it’s “something I can do whenever I want to feel better.”

2. Children can often pick up on your desperation for them to tap and this can make them more resistant to it. Often the harder you try the more they resist.

3. They may not feel it is “cool” to tap. While some children take to EFT immediately, others may feel self-conscious or embarrassed about using it.

How To Encourage a “Reluctant” Child To Tap

1. Become an EFT Model

The key to encouraging a “reluctant” child to tap is to actively model it yourself as well as help create an environment where tapping is part of family life. When children see their parents tapping they are more likely to do it themselves. According to Karen Curry, author of EFT For Parents, “children do what we do, not what we say…if your kids see you tapping, especially when you are feeling emotional intensity, they will be encouraged to use it themselves under similar circumstances.” If they see you tapping and how it benefits you they may be more likely to do it with you or on their own.

2. Tap On Your Own Frustration/Desperation First

If you are frustrated or upset about the fact that your child won’t tap, then treat your own frustration or upset first. “Even though Tim won’t let me teach him to tap, he’s still a wonderful child and I love him unconditionally”…, “Even though I want to help him but he won’t let me…, “Even though I can’t get him to tap with me…”, Even though he pushes me away…”, “Even though he’s doing this just to make me mad…”, etc

3. Surrogate Tapping

Once you have brought your emotional intensity down by tapping on your own frustration/desperation first, you can then try surrogate tapping for your child, starting with any beliefs the child may have about EFT such as “Even though tapping can’t help me, I’m still okay,” “Even though nothing can help me with this problem, I’m still okay,” “Even though I would rather stay mad/sad/upset, I’m still a great kid,” “Even though I’m too scared to tap…” Also surrogate tap on the child’s actual resistance to tapping using their own words such as, “NO don’t make me tap, I don’t want to tap, I hate tapping, stop trying to make me do it, I won’t do it, I hate being told what to do,” etc. After a few rounds tap on some positive statements on behalf of the child such as “What if tapping helps me feel better,” “What if I can do it on my own,” “What if tapping helps me feel really really good,” “What if I don’t have to feel upset anymore,” “This tapping stuff is actually fun,” “What if I like doing it,’ etc. After you have finished surrogate tapping pay attention to any changes and notice if the child seems more willing to tap of their own accord or asks you to help them.

4. Tap On Behalf of Your Child

When you see your child getting upset, rather than telling him to tap, simply start tapping out loud on yourself so they can hear you, using a set-up that reflects what is going on. “Even though Tim is really mad and hurt because….., he’s still a great kid and I love him.” Encourage your child to join along with you or just keep tapping on their behalf (unless they object) using whatever you think is bothering them to tap on. If they see that you understand how they’re feeling they may start tapping themselves and be more open to telling you why and what they’re really upset about.

5. Add Some Humor

You can also add some humor and tap on something like “Even though mum is doing this crazy tapping thing again and I don’t want to do it, I’m still a great kid. I’ll tap if and when I want!”

6. Why It's Cool To Tap

Reinforce the benefits of tapping to your child, such as, “it’s a way to help you feel better whenever you want,” “it can help you calm down when you want to,” “it helps your anger melt away,” etc. When kids find out they can tap on their upset without having to tell you what it is about they start to pay attention! In her work with children, Ann Adams will often tell an upset child in her faculty who hasn’t been introduced to EFT yet that, “I’m going to give you something to calm yourself down and you don’t even have to talk to me.” She points out that “not asking a child to talk ’sets you apart’ from all other professionals who have tried to help this kid.” The Promise Of Energy Psychology pg 168

Setting up an environment where tapping is encouraged and offered as an option and a choice may go a long way to helping a “reluctant child to tap.” Through teaching, encouraging and modeling the use of EFT within the family, in the classroom, etc., a “reluctant child” may discover they have a tool for life.

Using EFT to Give Thanks!

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I always seem to be using EFT for the things that go wrong in my life or the things I want to change. Does it do any good to tap on things that are going right and if so how would I do this?


photo by Scott Ableman

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a very powerful tool for giving thanks. I am a firm believer that one of the most powerful tools we have for moving our lives to the places we want is to recognize the blessings we have. This puts us at ease, giving us the ability to follow inspiration with less worry and anxiety. When we act with less worry and anxiety we are more likely to follow that inspiration with energy, leading us to richer and fuller lives.

The process I use is very simple, and I do it every day.

1) I get out my big book of gratitude, which is nothing more than a spiral notebook with the words “Big Book of Gratitude” written on the front.

2) I write on the top of a clean sheet of paper, “Thank you for the blessings I have received and the blessings I am receiving.”

3) I make a list of ten things I am thankful for. Some are big (like life) and some are small (like fresh blueberries).

4) I then fill the margins with “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” and “Thank you for the blessings I have received and the blessings I am receiving!” over and over again.

5) Next I do 10 rounds of tapping, one for each of the things on the list. “thank you for fresh blueberries…thank you…thank you…thank you…thank your for the blessings I have received and the blessings I am receiving…thank your for fresh blueberries…”

It is impossible to start your day in a bad mood if you make this process a daily habit.