Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Is It A Big Deal?

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I am spending a great deal of time and energy worrying about a number of issues. This is consuming so much of my energy, but most of the issues are really no big deal. How do I deal with the fact I am spending so much on something that isn’t very important?

Recently my sister underwent surgery for a tumor that was between her ribs and her right lung. My sister is only 32, healthy (a yoga instructor), has health insurance, a great medical provider, and a family with the means and flexibility to make sure she has had someone by her side every step of the way. The tumor itself was non-cancerous and she was back at work within 3 weeks of the surgery.

She feels very lucky (we all do). She knows that it could be so much worse.

Four days before the surgery we were chatting on the phone. She was giving me an update on when our parents were flying into town, what was going on at work, and which friends were going to be helping her and in what way.

In the matter of 10 minutes of phone conversation she must have said 15 times, “But you know, it's not really that big of a deal…”

At some point I stopped her and said, “It's OK if you say this is a big deal. You are going to have surgery. They are going to cut you open and pull something out. They are then going to stick a drainage tube to keep the wound healthy and clean. You are going to need people to help you do everything for a number of days and some tasks for a number of weeks. Yes, you have awesome medical care. Yes, this could have been so much worse. Yes, you have amazing friends and family to care for you. BUT this is a big deal. You are allowed to say it is a big deal!”

This led to 20 minutes of conversation, tapping, and tears as she was able to admit all the emotions she was feeling and all the things she was afraid to say out loud because she felt ungrateful. Because my sister felt so lucky she didn't feel like she had permission to complain or even be afraid.

It was an awesome healing moment and I am blessed to have shared that with my sister.

Admitting What Is Really Going On
I struggle with the same thing in my life. I have visited people all over the world who deal with immense struggle and burdens in their daily lives that I could never imagine. I spend more on my mobile phone service in one month than some make in a full year.

I am so blessed!

It is good to see the blessings in our lives, and to appreciate fully, but if we get too wrapped up in our blessings it makes it hard for us to admit the struggles we face. I need to be able to be honest with how I see my struggles and which emotions are swirling around them.

There are two very common outcomes when I start to tap on my problems.

First, when I start to tap on a problem I start to see it in perspective. It seems much smaller because I see it in context. It might feel like a really big deal emotionally, but as I tap on it I see it for what it is. To get to this point I need to be honest about how feel. I can't just dismiss it as “no big deal.” Because part of me thinks (erroneously) that it is a big deal. These emotions that are under the surface are going to eat at me.

Second, what is going on really is a big deal. Because it is a big deal I need to make sure I have myself as clear as possible to make sure I am able to face the “big deal.”

In both cases we can tap when something feels like it is “no big deal” to put ourselves in a place to respond to what is going on. It might look something like this:

Right now I am facing something that is causing me some trouble…But it feels like it should be no big deal…Because I’m telling myself it is no big deal…It feels like I shouldn't be giving it any emotional energy…I feel like it is a waste of time and energy to think about…I feel like expending any emotion on it is pointless…There are others who are dealing with so much more than I am…I shouldn't be complaining about my life…By spending time on this I feel like I am stuck in something pointless…I don't want to get into this because it is no big deal…But because I am spending energy and emotion on this…Part of me must think that it is a big deal…If I take time to tap on it…Then I will uncover the part that feels like this is a big deal…I will connect with the part that is worried…By dealing with the part that is worried…I will make it easier to deal with what I am facing…It might turn out to be something small and quickly evaporate…Or I will discover that it is a bigger deal than I thought…Either way I will gain clarity so I can see what is really going on…And that will allow me to work towards a healthier state.

By tapping in this way, you give yourself the opportunity to move to a place where you don't have to keep saying it is “no big deal,” and to deal with where you are honestly.

Stages Of Awareness For The Healing Process (with or without Tapping/EFT)

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In real terms, what does it actually look like when I start making changes in my life with Tapping/EFT?

Tapping/Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) can make changes in our lives in very practical ways. It allows us to change the way we respond to the world around us.

EFT is often most useful for aspects of life where we feel like we have the least amount of control. These could be situations where we feel like we are a victim to circumstance or a victim of other’s choices, or where we feel much too emotional.

Often when we are working on issues like these it takes a little time to see major change because of the amount of work that we need to do. As we do EFT we begin to feel ever more in control of our emotions, and it becomes easier for us to make good choices.
After working with numerous clients, I’ve found we move through 6 basic stages from feeling out of control to easily being in control and making the choices that bring us closer to our better selves.

For example, let’s assume “Anne” is trying to deal with feelings that one of her co-workers has it in for her, undermining every choice she makes.

As Anne does work with EFT on this issue she would move through these six steps.

Stage 1 Of Healing and Transformation: Unaware

In this stage we are completely unaware of the way our thoughts affect our emotions and how our emotions affect our choices. We are simply floating along, reacting to events. We don’t feel like we have much control over what’s happening in our lives.

It might look something like this:

  • At work Anne completes a project.
  • A co-worker comments, “I might have done it this way…”
  • Anne feels like her co-worker is attacking her.
  • She spends the rest of the day in a bad mood.
  • In the future she continues to feel resentful toward the co-worker.

Stage 2 Of Healing and Transformation: Aware Well After the Fact

In the second stage we start to understand cause and effect, but it is well after the fact and it’s only with a great deal of self-analysis. Generally in this stage someone must help us see the cause and effect.

It might look something like this:

  • At work Anne completes a project.
  • A co-worker comments, “I might have done it this way…”
  • Anne feels like her co-worker is attacking her.
  • Anne spends the rest of the day in a bad mood.
  • After work Anne has a drink with a friend and she explains how her co-worker attacked her today.
  • Anne’s friend is able to help her see that maybe her co-worker was only trying to help her out by offering another option, not attacking her.
  • Anne realizes that she did overreact.
  • Once she sees what has happened she gets back to a happier mood.

Stage 3 Of Healing and Transformation: Aware Right After the Fact

In the third stage you see how you are reacting to a situation. You still overreact, but shortly after the fact you understand what has happened.

It might look something like this:

  • At work Anne completes a project.
  • A co-worker comments, “I might have done it this way…”
  • Anne feels like her co-worker is attacking her.
  • After Anne gets mad for a moment she realizes her co-worker was just sharing her own experience. Anne might not agree with it, but she understands the spirit in which it was offered.

Stage 4 Of Healing and Transformation: Aware as the emotion is arising

In the fourth stage it feels like the world is starting to slow down a little. We recognize what’s happening as the emotion arises. It is as if we are becoming a third party observer of our own experience. As it happens we will think, “This is what just happened, this is how I have interpreted it, and I am now reacting like this.” We may be quick enough to stop the emotional reaction.

It might look something like this:

  • At work Anne completes a project.
  • A co-worker comments, “I might have done it this way…”
  • Anne feels like her co-worker is attacking her very briefly, but she realizes almost instantly that she’s about to overreact. She hears her co-worker clearly.

Stage 5 Of Healing and Transformation: Aware of the thought which leads to the emotion.

In the fifth stage it feels like the world has slowed down even more. In this stage we recognize the thought before the emotion. Once we recognize the thought, we can see how the thought is flawed. Recognizing that the thought is flawed, we are able to stop the unwanted emotion before it has the chance to arise.

It might look something like this:

  • At work Anne completes a project.
  • A co-worker comments, “I might have done it this way…”
  • Anne realizes three weeks ago if her co-worker had said this she would have felt like she was under attack.

Stage 6 Of Healing and Transformation: No thought

Once you get to stage six, once again you don’t notice anything happening, just as you didn’t notice in stage one. But stage six is very different because the thought and emotional response occurring in stage one simply don’t occur. In stage one you don’t notice anything because you are unaware. In stage six you notice nothing because there is nothing to notice. You no longer feel like you are being attacked in any way, therefore there is nothing to react to.

It might look something like this:

  • At work Anne completes a project.
  • A co-worker comments, “I would have done it like this…”
  • She thinks about their feedback.
  • She might use it. She might not.
  • Anne thanks him for his feedback and moves on with her day.

THE MATRIX
I think a great illustration of this is in the movie The Matrix. For those who didn’t see the movie here is a quick recap of the critical points:

Neo, the main character played by Keanu Reeves, is minding his own business living on the fringe, a very brilliant computer hacker. Through a series of events he is introduced to the idea that the world he perceives is not a real physical world. Instead what he is experiencing is a very realistic-feeling virtual reality experience. It’s nothing more than a giant computer program that is giving him information. He is not simply watching a movie in his mind, but is actively interacting with the program. The program responds to his thought as actions.

Others who understand they are living in a virtual world persuade Neo to help bring down the system. As Neo learns more and more about the virtual reality system his mind is caught in he also learns that he can control more than just his actions, he can also control other elements of the system as well because it’s nothing more than information.

The most famous scene from the movie comes after Neo begins to assert control over elements in the system. One of three bad guys who had been sent to stop Neo fires a handgun at him. With his newly-gained control of the system Neo is able to slow the world enough to dodge the bullets.

At the beginning of the movie Neo is completely unaware of what is going on. Once he chooses to see that there is more at play than he had previously thought and that he might be able have some control, the world changed. At first he understands very little; he’s more overwhelmed than before because he has little control. Because he is unable to process all he’s been taught about the system, he feels like he has less control over his life than he had without this extra knowledge.

But as time passes he gains more knowledge and experience. He starts to understand how the world works and the things he can control. He sees more clearly what is illusion and what is real. As he does this he is able to see the world around him slowing down.

The scene where Neo is dodging bullets is the first time in the movie where he demonstrates a great level of control. This is very similar to stage 4 describe above. He sees the trouble coming but is able to slow it down enough that he’s not hit. In stage 4 we see the emotions arising from the thought, but since we are aware, we stop it from affecting us.

To extend this analogy even more:

  • Stage 1
    • Analogy: We are shot but don’t realize it. We let the wound fester, making us miserable.
    • Real World: We feel we have no control over the world and no control over how we feel. Things happen and we suffer.
  • Stage 2
    • Analogy: The bullet hits us, but we don’t realize it right away. It is only after we realize we have been hit that we seek medical attention.
    • Real World: Something happens, making us feel like we are a victim of circumstances. We just suffer emotionally until we understand what has happened. At this point we stop suffering.
  • Stage 3
    • Analogy: We are hit, but realize it right away. We seek immediate attention.
    • Real World: We react over-emotionally to something, but right away we realize why we are overreacting and are able to find our way back to peace.
  • Stage 4 (As stated above)
    • Analogy: We see the bullet coming and get out of the way.
    • Real World: As something is happening around us our emotions start to rise, but we recognize this right away and are able to deal with it quickly.
  • Stage 5
    • Analogy: We recognize the gunman but get out before a shot can be fired.
    • Real World: We see what’s happening and recognize how it might normally get an emotional charge out of us, but we remain in a state of peace.
  • Stage 6
    • Analogy: The gunman never shows up.
    • Real World: Situations that would have brought emotional charges in the past no longer mean anything to us, so we don’t even notice the situations occurring.

Depending on the severity of the issue, we are going to move through these 6 stages at different rates. In some cases we’ll pass from stage one to stage six in just one round of tapping. In others, where issues have built up over years, like self-esteem issues, it will usually take much more time to move through these six stages.

The primary reason it’s important to understand these stages is that this helps us to understand how we are healing. A number of my clients have been frustrated that after doing so much work, they still haven’t gotten better. They feel they haven’t gotten any better because they still have the same emotional responses. What they don’t always realize is that they now recognize why they are overreacting, and they regain emotional stability much faster. Understanding these stages of healing enables us to see that we are healing.

What is interesting about these stages is we can pass through them at different rates for different issues and different parts of our lives. We can be moving from stage to stage in one part of our life (how we interpret what others say as judgment on us) while in another part of our life we are stuck in stage one, completely unaware of what is going on (why being around people in bad moods rubs off on us and brings us down).

Remember, the healing process is just that, a process. Some issues are going to take more time to heal than others. When we understand the process of this healing, we will identify this healing as it is happening, which will encourage us to continue working towards our goal.

Not using “Even thought I…” and the KC point

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I have read a number of your articles. I love the fact that you often give tapping phrases to go along with the info, but you don’t give them in a way that I am used to seeing tapping phrases. Why don’t you use the phrase “even though I…” while tapping on the KC point and why don’t you list tapping points with the tapping phrases?


photo by anna vignet

It is important to remember the technique is called tapping/Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). Most people miss the “s” on the end of the word techniques. This is because when Gary envisioned EFT he did it as a very fluid technique. He knew that it was going to grow and change over time. I am convinced that this openness to change and growth has only strengthened EFT.

If you watch the first few volumes of the EFT DVDs you see the very quick evolution of the “short cut” basic recipe as many practitioners of EFT moved away from using the points on the hand and the 9-gamut procedure.

There is no particular wrong or right way to do EFT. There are only ways that are more or less effective for you.

To that end, when I write articles, I write them from the point of view of how I do EFT with my clients and how I do EFT on myself. When I am doing EFT I don’t use the basic recipe.

Do this mean you think the basic recipe is wrong/bad?
Not at all! I think there are a number of redeeming qualities to using the basic recipe, but I believe that it has its limitations as well.

Here is how I assess the good and the bad of the basic recipe:

Good: It is easy.
It’s easy to learn. It’s easy to remember. It’s easy to teach. You can find countless tools on-line in which you can learn the basic recipe in just one page. I still teach the basic recipe in my EFT workshops.

Bad: It can give you the misconception that the words you use matter.
Every few days I get an e-mail from someone who has made his/her way to this web site and asks, “What are the right words to use when working on [insert issue]“. The words themselves aren’t important. (I feel like I write this every week, but it is the most common question I’m asked.) Our focus is the most important factor. The fill-in-the-blank approach of the “basic recipe” can lead one to believe it’s the words that provide the healing, causing some people to get stuck coming up with the “right” words.

Good: It is very simple.
Because it is so simple anyone can do it. I have been able to teach people how to use EFT effectively with the basic recipe in under five minutes. There is one person to whom I have given less than 10 minutes of instructions. He has never read anything I or anyone else has written about EFT, and he successfully uses it everyday. He uses EFT so much I received a complaint from his wife that “he was going to bruise himself” he was tapping so much.

Bad: It can be overly simple.
Because the basic recipe is so simple people mistakenly believe that coming up with a simple phrase and tapping will take care of everything. I truly believe you can do work on any issue under the sun with the basic recipe, but EFT only works (basic recipe or otherwise) when we focus in specifically enough. Often when the basic recipe is taught most of the emphasis is placed on the tapping points and not on how to tune into a problem.

You can tap until the cows come home, but if you aren’t tuned into a specific enough issue, progress will be slow. It’s easy to believe that tapping on “this frustration” while using the basic recipe is going to take care of it. Sometimes this can be enough, but often it is not.

If you don't use the “basic recipe”, how would describe your style?
I use a very fluid style in both my tapping and the phrases I use.

Gary himself admits that the basic recipe is tapping in a random fashion. The basic recipe only looks organized because it is arranged in a straight line on the body. In reality, each of the tapping points is associated with a different meridian. The basic recipe is taught in that way because it is easiest, not because it is the best order to tap. Theoretically you can tap in any order and produce the same result.

If we look at the history of EFT we know it is a descendant of Thought Field Therapy (TFT). It is believed that there is a very specific tapping order to achieve the best results. EFT was developed because the process of coming up with an order for each person or emotion was so cumbersome.

Knowing all of this has led me to a very specific style of tapping. Since tapping in a random fashion is effective and finding the “right” tapping order is more effective, why not (in a playful way) try and find that “better” tapping order.

To this end I trust my body to tell me where the next point to tap is. I give my right hand permission to tap wherever it feels it needs to tap next. By doing this I am tapping in an effective random order, but I also might be led by my body to the place that really does need to be tapped next to make the quickest progress. I’m not losing anything by moving away from the linear tapping of the basic recipe, but I have the real possibility of a more effective type of tapping.

I will admit at first this seemed very awkward, not knowing where to tap next, but the more I did it and the more I trusted myself the easier it became. When I tap now I get the sensation of a little light glowing on the part of the body I need to tap next. Is this really the place that
I need to tap next because it is most efficient? I have no idea. Logic dictates that there is nothing lost from trying it, but there is the possibility of gaining something.

Since this is my tapping style, I never name the place you are supposed to tap while using the phrases I provide. The place you need to tap might be different from the place that I need to tap.

I would encourage you to give this sort of tapping a try. Just trust yourself and your body. As you tap, see where you think you need to tap next, knowing that there is no wrong place to tap next. The more you do it, the more confidence you will have about where to tap next.

Why don't you use the KC point?
As stated before, the history of EFT shows the basic protocol getting shorter with the emphasis being less on the mechanical tapping and where you tap and more on the creative ways to tune into problems.

In the same way that many EFT practitioners have found eliminating the tapping points on the fingers and the 9 gamut procedure cause little decrease in EFT’s success rate, I have found tapping on the KC point while using the “even though I…” phrases to be effective in a small percentage of clients.

When I received my initial EFT training I was told that physiological reversal (PR) is only present about 10% of the time and that tapping on the KC point (or rubbing the sore spot) is used to clear PR.

I decided that since it appears to be needed only 10% of the time that we could skip it until it’s proven that we need it. If we do a round of tapping and no progress is made, I add it. Less than 10% of the clients I work with have needed to use the KC point.

This is what works best for me.
I have found EFT is very much about personal style. If you feel comfortable and confident about what you are doing, you are more likely to do EFT more regularly. My way is not the only way or the best way. The basic recipe was created to give an easy entry point for the masses. If it works for you, great! You can take the phrases I provide and incorporate them in to your work. If you know EFT works best for you by adding “Even though I…” phrases while tapping on the KC point, then DO IT!

EFT is all about making changes for the better in our lives. Do what makes sense for you. Heal what needs to be healed in the way that makes the most sense for you.

My main messages is to be easy with yourself as you do EFT. There is no right way to do things. I know in the last two years the way I do EFT has changed radically as I have learned more about the tool set and learned more about myself.

Be playful about it. It only takes 45 seconds to try something. You can try tapping in a different order or come up with phrases in a new way. If it works, great, you have a new tool. If it doesn’t work, then you have only lost 45 seconds of your life.

One of my current favorite quotes is from Tallulah Bankhead: “If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.” In reality when it comes to EFT there aren’t any mistakes, only learning opportunities.

The more you experiment, the more you will expand your tool set. If it doesn’t work out you can always go back to what you know works.

Let Me Know How You Do It?
I love hearing how other people are doing new and unique things with tapping. Let me know how you do things in the comments below.

When You Can’t Feel Any Emotion AND When Loved Ones Give Us Limiting Beliefs

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photo by Steven Depolo

I am looking for help with emotions. I have seen and looked at a couple of specific emotions (anger, depression, etc.), but my problem is that mine are completely blocked off…I feel NONE. The root cause is from my father telling me as a child that men do not display emotions (cry or laugh were his actual words) and any time I gave any type of an emotional display I was punished…what I am looking for is some help clearing this block. What can I do?

This is a very common problem. Many people have been taught that emotions are bad or a sign of weakness. There are a few ways you can deal with this type of problem.

1) Start With The Emotions That You Feel About Not Feeling Emotions
When we seek to feel emotions and notice something is lacking then there must be an emotional charge of some sort. The feeling of not feeling emotions or not being allowed can create anger, disappointment, feeling like a failure, or frustration. This is a great place to start because you are feeling something here. By clearing some of the charge you feel about the situation you are going to open yourself to being able to deal with the situation itself. Tapping for this might look like:

Right now I feel very frustrated that I can't feel emotions like everyone else…I know that emotions can be overwhelming…but emotions are also a great way for our system to give us information about ourselves and the world…the fact that I feel frustrated about not feeling emotions is a good thing…this frustration is rooted in the fact that I would like to experience more in the world…even though I can't do that right now…the fact that there is a part of me that wants to do this and is willing to feel frustrated is a good thing…the frustration has done its job…I now see that I want to feel emotion and the frustration has done it's job in pointing out what I would like to see different about myself and my experience…

Tapping in this fashion should take the edge off the situation and will help you to see things more clearly.

2) Point/Counter Point
Often times we know rationally the truth about a situation even if our emotional self doesn't. In this case the rational self knows that it is okay (and even healthy) to feel emotions while the emotional self feels that it is unsafe. When this happens I find it very useful to tap on what both parts believe. To do this all you need to do is first make a list of all the emotional beliefs you have about the situation.

  • Emotions are a sign of weakness.
  • Only girls feels emotions
  • Real men don't cry
  • People will think less of me if I show emotion

After you come up with this list create a list of counter points that you rationally know to be true.

  • Emotions are just a way the system communicates a truth that we understand.
  • Everyone should feel emotions.
  • It is ok for anyone, even men, to laugh or cry
  • Some people are going to respect me because I feel emotions, because they see I can feel deeply and understand them.

When doing this strive to come up with three or four counter points for each of the items on the first list. Once you have the two lists you can use them for tapping phrases. “Even though a part of my system believes that emotions are a sign of weakness I want my whole system and whole self to know that emotions are just a way the system communicates a truth about how I see the world in this moment.”

Work your way through the list a number of times.

3) When A Loved One Gives Us A Belief
There are many beliefs we have about the world that have been given to us by loved ones. Some of them are given to us in very direct ways in the words they use (like when a parent tells us “Real men don't show emotion.”) Other times we get these beliefs in subtle ways (like when someone we love is afraid of bees, therefore we become afraid of bees).

When we take on beliefs about the world from loved ones there is a part of us that can feel like it is turning its back on our loved one when we give up the belief they have given us. In other words, by rejecting the belief we are rejecting them. This can be so powerful that we will cling to destructive beliefs to keep ourselves in the good graces of a loved one. This can be true even after they are dead.

When this happens we can tap on something like this:

My father told me that real men don't show emotions…that I would be seen as weak…that I would be seen as a fool…I now know that this is not true…that my emotions are healthy and are a good thing to feel…there is a part of me that is worried that if I let go of the things that my father believes that I am also letting go of my father…it might feel like I am turning my back on my father…it might feel like I am saying my father is wrong…my father grew up in a different time…people saw the world in a different way…they didn't understand emotions the way we understand them today…my father was not perfect…like I am not perfect…it would be wonderful if my father only passed along true lessons to me…but that is not the case…it is possible for me to learn new things and not reject my father and my past…it is possible for me to change and not reject my father…my father did the job he did as a father…it was far from perfect…but that is what it is…now I can move forward…I can transform…and still respect my past…I don't have to hold onto all things old to appreciate where I came from…I give myself permission to move forward…I give myself permission to grow…and I know that I am not letting others in my past down…even as I grow past the lessons they have given me…I don't have to let them go.

If you take these three steps you will be well on your way to opening yourself up to feeling emotions.

10 Simple Steps To Tap On Any Emotion

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I deal with anger all of the time and because I experience it so much I don't know where to start. Where can I begin?

Here is a great tool when you don't know where or how to start with any emotion. This is also an excellent tool to use when you are teaching someone to tap when they are on their own because it also creates tapping phrases. For this reason I have found it best to use this like a worksheet and write out each of the steps.

1) Name The Emotion
This is easy thing to do. If you are dealing with a particular emotion, as in the question, then use that. I would also encourage you to look through the list of negative emotions created by the Center For Non-Violent Communication as a starting point. Even when we are starting with something as general as an emotion, the more specific we are, the easier progress will be.

2) Name A Specific Instance
In as much detail as you can come up with, describe one specific occasion when you felt this emotion. Talk about who was there, what was said, what you were thinking at the time, what you are thinking now as you remember it, and all the outcomes of the situation. Imagine you are sitting across from me in a coffee shop and telling me what happened as if I know none of the details.

3) Rate The Emotion On The SUDs Scale
On a scale of 0 to 10 rate how large the emotion feels right now.

4) Describe The Physical Sensations
In as much detail as possible describe the physical sensation(s) that go along with the emotion. In which part (or parts) of the body do you feel it? Is it hot, tight, heavy, itchy, stiff, trembling, clenching, or some other feeling? Do you feel it in more than one part of your body? Describe each part separately. Is there some sort of mental dialogue going on as you feel the emotion? What is the internal voice saying? Who does the voice sound like? Who does it remind you of?

5) List 3 Things That Went Wrong
Because of the instance you describe above what are (at least) three things that went wrong and how were/are you impacted by these outcomes? Sometimes one moment can impact later events and moments. Don't just think of what went wrong in the moment, but also how it affected later moments. Again, the more detail the better.

6) List 3 Outcomes You Would Like To Have Happen Instead
After something goes wrong there are ways we would like to see it turn out better. What are (at least) three hopes you have for how this could turn out better in the future? Is there a relationship you would like to see mended? Is there something you would like someone to do? Is there a lesson you would like to learn? It is helpful to name how we would like things to turn out.

7) Re-rate On The SUDS Scale
After doing these steps I always like to re-rate the level of emotion. One of three outcomes are possible. First, the number could go up. This is because you have now spent time thinking about the issue in detail. Often this tunes us into the issue more sharply so that we notice it more, making it feel bigger.

Second, you might notice that the number goes down. Many times simply getting something out of your head will be enough to diminish its intensity. Our minds can be relentless echo chambers, taking negative thoughts or emotions and bouncing them around over and over again. When we drag them into the light of day they lose their power.

Finally, there might be no change at all. This simply means that the emotion will need more tapping to get it moving.

8) Start To Tap
Go back to the top of your page and start reading what you have written out loud as you tap. At the end of each sentence move to the next tapping point. This is not a race. There is no reason to rush. As you read what you have written out loud really pay attention to words you are saying. If you are describing what happened then try to relive what you are saying. If you are describing how you would like to see thing turns out in the future really tune into the emotion of having the new and better outcome.

9) While You Are Tapping Take Notes
As you reread what you have written before it is possible that additional details will come into focus. You may also notice new and even better outcomes around this issue for the future. If these things come to mind it is a good idea to take the time to write them down. Not only will you learn valuable things about this specific issue, but you will also learn things about yourself and the larger scope of this particular emotion.

10) Re-Rate One More Time
After you have been through reading what you have written and have tapped along, re-rate the issue to see where it is now. If you are down to a zero you are done, if you are not then you have the opportunity to move back to the top of page and tap again.