It is amazing how effective our system is at finding ways to feel better. When something is wrong (even when we aren't consciously aware of it), the system starts to take steps to feel better. The problem is that our system is geared to react with short term solutions. Its only concern is to stop the discomfort right now, so it isn't motivated to make good long term choices. For example, when I am highly stressed I start to crave ice cream (particularly cookies and cream flavor). When I eat ...
Dealing with money is a fact of life. We can't live without it. In the best of all possible worlds money would be perceived just as a tool that helps us to fulfill our daily needs. The problem is that on an emotional level we don't perceive money as simply a tool. Instead, we write stories about ourselves in terms of our relationship with money. Not having money can mean that we don’t feel worthy. If do have money, we feel like we are being greedy. It is as if we can't win. No matter how much ...
If you have been around the self-help world for any amount of time, it won’t surprise you to hear that caregivers are notoriously poor at taking good care of themselves. What might be surprising is that one of the areas where this lack of self-care shows up is the way in which caregivers struggle with money. In this conversation with Melissa Lester we talk about why caregivers struggle with self-care, how it affects their relationship to money, and what we can do about it. Melissa is ...
I might seem counter intuitive, but there are three good reasons to why our loved ones don't want us to heal and transform. This can even be true for the people in our lives who are vocally supportive of us. In most cases this lack of support from our loved ones is happening on a subconscious level. This week in the podcast I talk about the three reasons why our loved ones don't want us to change and I provide a tap along audio for each of the reasons. You can also find the tapping scripts ...
Desire can be a double-edged sword. When we want something that we don't have and see others with it, we feel left out. Sometimes we even feel as if we are not as worthy or not as valuable as others because they have it and we don't. On the other hand, we can also feel bad for having desires at all, beating ourselves up for seeming ungrateful or unappreciative for what we do have. What I find most amazing is the fact that we can feel both of these emotions at the same time. We can feel bad ...
Tapping for negative past experiences is often the easiest kind of tapping because we know the details of the past experience. While tapping we have the opportunity to state exactly what happened, how we interpret those events, how we felt about them back then, and how we feel now. No matter how long we have to tap to find relief, the tapping itself is straightforward. Tapping for the emotion of dread can be much less straightforward. Dread is a worry about the future and, since the future is ...
Why do you tap? It seems like such a silly question to consider. Obviously (!) we tap to make ourselves feel better, remove pain, to be healthier, and to create a more enjoyable life. I don't disagree with any of those ideas. In a global way that is why I use Emotional Freedom Techniques as well. But it doesn't get to the heart of the reason why we tap. For me, there is a simple underlying principle that informs how I understand change, where to start when working with an issue, and how I can ...
One of the first techniques that any good tapper learns is the "movie technique". In the movie technique you replay the details of a past event in your mind, as if you are watching them in a film. As you replay the past events, the moment you get to an emotion in the memory, you stop and tap for the emotion. This is a very effective way of clearing the emotions from a past event. The problem is that there are often more emotions that need to be cleared than just the ones that show up while you ...
At the end of month I will be in the UK on vacation and I would love to see you! The last two times I have been in London I arranged informal meetups. We talked about tapping, the healing process, and life in general. I had a great time getting to know my readers and those who showed up made new tapping friends. On Monday July 31st I am going to be at Mulberry Bush (89 Upper Ground, Southbank, SE1 9PP, very close to the National Theatre ) from 6:30 pm - 8:30 pm. If you are in the city ...
People with a kind heart and helping disposition are often those who have the hardest time reaching out for help. This can happen for reasons ranging from not wanting to be a burden to others, to believing that since we possess the tools of healing, we are responsible for taking care of ourselves. Everyone (and I mean everyone) needs help from the outside. We can't and aren't meant to go it alone. This week I have a tap-along audio and tapping script for those who find it difficult to ask for ...
Note: This article was originally shared on Sept 2nd, 2012 with the title "Why I Hate Emotional Freedom Techniques". This is an updated and edited version of that article. I have a confession to make. I hate Emotional Freedom Techniques. OK, I don't hate the tool, but I do hate the name. In the beginning I hated the name because I thought it did the technique such a disservice. Here we were being given this amazingly powerful tool that was changing people’s lives. It was helping ...
It would be great if we could find a solution for every problem. But that is simply not possible. Some illness can't be cured. Death is inevitable. There are even times when solutions are available, but for a variety of complex reasons our loved ones aren't willing or able to choose change. Whether there is no clear solution or the solution isn't being chosen, it can leave you feeling helpless and heartbroken. Below is a tap-along audio and script for those times when there is nothing you ...
There is a huge difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Just because tapping is a powerful tool doesn't mean that you will always remember to reach for it in times of emotional distress. When my clients are recounting something from the previous week that was hard, I ask them if they tried tapping for the issue. They usually reply somewhat sheepishly, "No… I forgot." My aim is not to try to shame them by asking that question. I just want to know what happened so we can do ...
Unfortunately, death is an unfortunate fact of life. Even with the passing of a loved one is expected it is an emotionally difficult experience. When we are facing the emotions that come after the death of a loved one, the goal is not to eliminate all of our emotion. Sadness is appropriate. Sadness is healthy. Instead we can tap to make sure that we are have proportional well informed emotions. The tap-along audio and script that you can find below is perfect any time you are feeling the pain ...
A key reason we don't tap in the moment is because we are so engulfed by what we are feeling that we don't remember tapping is something helpful we can do. Or sometimes we may remember to tap, but we still don't do it because we don't know where to start. In the middle of strong emotions it can be difficult to describe what we are feeling. We can't find the words to describe the root cause and we aren't thinking clearly enough to come up with a reframe for the situation. Because we can't find ...
Back in Pod #199 I shared with you a tap-along audio to help you when you are facing a big decision. The tap-along is about trusting yourself, creating space, and knowing that everything will work out for the best. I went back to listen to it again and I think it is an excellent and useful tap-along. At the same time, I think there is more we can do to create space for making good choices when facing a big decision. This week I have for you a simple tool with step-by-step instruction on how ...
When tapping works, it feels like magic. You tap on a few points, you say a few phrases, and you get relief. When tapping doesn't work, you feel like a fool. You are sitting alone in your room muttering phrases to yourself, tapping on your body, and hoping it will get better. When this happens to me, not only do I question tapping in the moment, I also question all of the tapping I did in the past. I wonder if I have imagined my past successes. This week I have for you a simple tap-along that ...
Embarking on a creative endeavor, whether for our personal or professional lives, can feel daunting. We struggle with creativity because: We want the ideas to emerge fully formed We are worried that our efforts will be judged harshly by others We are concerned about wasting time and not coming up with anything good We don't know where to start so it feels like a waste of time and energy even to try Because we don't want the process to go badly, we simply don't start (think of staring ...
When a loved one is diagnosed with a serious illness it can difficult to know what to do next. On one level we want to be helpful but also recognise that they may need their space so we don't want to be intrusive. Often we are so shocked ourselves that we just don't know what to do next. At the 2017 Spring Energy Event I was given the opportunity to moderate a panel discussion between Annabel Fisher, Annie Siegel Alexander, and Ange Finn. All three of these amazing women (and tapping ...
Last August I had a conversation with acupuncturist Beth Kearns about each of the tapping points we use in the basic tapping routine. If you haven't listened to the conversation, I encourage you to go back to it because it is informative. There are three main differences between tapping and acupuncture. The first and most obvious is that we tap with our hands and an acupuncturist uses needles. Second, when we are tapping we usually say phrases out loud and if not, we are still focused on a ...