Did you know that there is a quick and easy way to create a tap-along audio to any EFT script you find on line? This is how you do it.
Are you having trouble coming up with tapping phrases? Here is a simple solution: think of an emotion that you would like to work on, such as anger, sadness, feeling overwhelmed etc., and answer the questions that follow. Once you have answered all of the questions, hit submit and *poof* there is a tapping script!
Name a negative emotion:
Describe in detail what happened in a situation where you felt this emotion:
Describe in detail how it affected you when it happened:
Describe in detail how it is effecting you now:
Describe in detail all of the negative outcomes of what happened when it happened:
Describe in detail all of the negative outcomes you are experiencing today from this situation:
Describe in detail how you feel about the outcomes:
Describe in detail all possible future negative outcomes from what happened:
Describe in detail how you feel about these possible future outcomes:
If you had the power to change anything about this situation describe in detail how you change it:
This article was written while being powered by an American with vanilla bought by Mrs S B Bridgeford of Dorset, UK.
photo by Apple
As I am sure you are aware last week Steve Jobs died. He was a galvanizing figure to say the least. He was a thought leader and he demanded a lot of himself (and of his employees). I always enjoyed his interviews and speeches because there always included wonderful nuggets of hope, inspiration and challenge. Here are some of my favorite Steve Jobs quotes.
Are you looking for a great way to start off your day on a creative, inspired foot? Then read through these quotes as you tap along.
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels? While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”— Apple Commercial, 1997
“… You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” – Stanford University commencement address, June 2005
“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me… Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful…that’s what matters to me.” – Wall Street Journal 1993
“When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” – Stanford University commencement address, June 2005
“There’s an old Wayne Gretzky quote that I love. ‘I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.’ And we’ve always tried to do that at Apple. Since the very very beginning. And we always will.”
“Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.”
“Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations.”
“We don’t get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know? And we’ve all chosen to do this with our lives. So it better be damn good. It better be worth it.” – Fortune
“I’m as proud of what we don’t do as I am of what we do.” – Businessweek
“I’m convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.”
“I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.” – Stanford University commencement address, June 2005
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.” – Stanford University commencement address, June 2005
I came across this video at kottke.org. Tho post simple read: “Two minutes of laughing. If this doesn’t make you smile, YOU’RE A MONSTER!”.
To put yourself in a good mode just hit play and tap (or just hit play). You will smile!
photo by vectorportal
These are necessarily the best articles on the site, but these are some of my favorites. To make it easier to navigate I have chosen one entry from 11 different categories. Please add a comment to the bellow on what some of your favorites have been.
From time to time I get an e-mail or a comment that says, “You are just money grubbing hack. How dare you charge to share healing information. It is good that we are all on the same page. Here is the most recent explanation of Why Tapping/EFT Q and A Was Created.
There have been so many great pods it was hard to choose. Tapping for Trauma w/ Gwyneth Moss transformed the way I understood the ways we are wounded which directly impacts the way we heal.
Bonus pods are quick records that have great infor, but don’t need a full show. In Something That Needs A Cool Name, But Doesn’t Have One I share a great little tool you can use everyday. The pod is only 4min long.
Post I am Most Proud Of
I spent much or 2010 working on A Healing Manifesto – Recovering Self I think it is one of the best things I have written to date. I think this information is so important I am considering making it required reading for new clients. There is both English and Spanish versions of the ebook and an English version of the audio book.
This is personally one of my favorite types of articles. I love language. I love words. I love the way the words we use shape the way we heal (or don’t heal). “…and I choose this for my reality!” I look at how the way we describe ourselves can stop our healing process dead in its tracks.
I would encourage you to check out the full words series.
One of the reasons I love working with clients is because I learn so much. From time to time I share some of the lessons I have learned from working with clients. In 12 Lessons From Tapping With A Total Stranger On A Flight I share the story of what I learned from tapping with a stranger on a flight.
Question and Answer
The heart of this site is still answers peoples questions. The Q & A that received the most feedback was People Who Suck Us Emotionally Dry – AKA Emotional Vampires. You know who your emotional vampires are. Here is how you can care for yourself.
Big Picture Information
There are the detailed articles (how to tap for cravings) and then there are big picture ideas. I love the big picture stuff. It helps me to move from one issue to the next. One of the hardest concepts to get in tapping is Psychological Reversal. Here is my take on it.
Sometimes I write about what I think, not just what I know. How One Minute Miracles Can Be Bad For The Tapping Community covers what I think is a very important idea to keep in mind.
As you know I have been adding TapAlong Audios every week to the site. In “The crap I know is better than the crap I don’t know” you can tap on one of the main reasons we resist change.
I love helping other practitioners build and grow their practices. In the three part Content Creation Series I explain my process for creating free resources (like this) and products that I sell.
From time to timoe I feature an article from a practitioner I admore. In Round Up I was able to get great info from 10 awesome practitioners on the healing process.
How can I tap on more than one issue at a time?
I was asked by one of my clients how it is possible to tap on multiple issues at the same time. This is one of my favorite tools. You can use this technique for any group of issues and you’ll be ready to use it after hearing it just once.
As of January 1st there are new free Tap-Alongs added to the site every Monday. Here is a sample of one of these audios.
Being Able To Love Unconditionally: We are told (and may even believe) that we need to love people unconditionally. This can be a really hard thing because the people in our lives are flawed (just like we are). They make poor choices and they sometimes hurt us. Unconditional love does not mean that we approve of others’ choices and it doesn’t mean we have to take whatever they give us. Unconditional love is about recognizing the worth and value of others. When we do this we are able to make the choice we want to make in creating ourselves to be who we want to be. (And yes . . . this is hard!)
These tap-along audios are NOT a part of the regular podcast feed. Make sure you are signed-up for the Tapping Q & A newsletter to receive weekly updates or check back every Monday to hear the new audio.
There are people in my life who seem to always suck me emotionally dry. They either take all my energy or dump all their troubles on me. How do I prevent this from happing?
photo by Joriel “Joz” Jimenez
One of the things that I love about this question is the fact they used the phrase “suck me emotionally dry”. I have always referred to these type people as emotional vampires.
I love the term “emotional vampire” because the moment I use it my clients always get this wry smile. They know exactly what I am talking about.
In this article we are going to look at many different types of emotional vampires as well as what we can do to keep ourselves healthy in the face of emotional vampires.
The Naming of Vampires
This article is not a criticism of emotional vampires. I am not saying they are horrible people, mean people, or even people who are conscious of how their behavior affects other people.
We act the way we do for a number of reasons.
Emotional vampires are no different.
This article is not meant to give you fuel to be even more frustrated with the people in your life. Instead, the goal of this article is to help you to recognize the environment you are in, the people who share this environment with you, how they can effect you, and how you can navigate it in a safe way while continuing to grow and heal.
It is important for us to be able to name the emotional vampires in our lives. This is not an exercise of judgment (thought it can quickly become one). This is not an exercise meant to dwell on the negative (though it can quickly become one).
One of my main goals as a practitioner is to help my clients to become conscious observers of their own lives. When we become observers of our own lives we notice the things that push our buttons and the places that we over react. With this simple knowledge we can make radical changes to our lives. We see the problems as they come and we are able to either avoid the problem or nip it in the bud.
Much in the same way we plan our day by looking at the weather report or the traffic report we can prepare ourselves for our day by notices the experiences and people who can suck us dry.
To make sure we are entering this with the right point of view let’s do a little tapping. (And yes, I want you to tap on this before you read the next section!)
It is important that I examine my life…It is important that I recognize the things in my daily life that affect my mood and my disposition…I choose to know that there are lots of reasons why people act the way the do…sometime they act because they are afraid…sometime they act because they are worried…sometime they act because they are hopeless…sometimes they act because they are lost…sometimes they act because they are overwhelmed…sometimes they act because they don’ know what to do…the people I interact must take responsibility for their choices and their mood…but I choose not to judge them…it is important to understand how they effect me…it is important to know how I allow they to affect me…I am doing this exercise to make sure I am healthy and safe…I am not doing to this judge others…even if that is my natural disposition…I know that when I judge others it is because I am worried…afraid…or insecure…this is an opportunity to also do a little work on the places I would like to heal in my own life.
Types of Vampires
None of the descriptions listed here are going to be a surprise to you. In many cases you are going to be thinking of how this affects you before I get into my description. Again, the first goal is to be able to name what is affecting us. When we name it we can respond to it. Here are just a few.
- Drama Shark
Drama Sharks are so named because of the myth that if a shark stops moving it will die. Drama Sharks will die if they are not in the middle of some type of drama somewhere. It could be drama at work, with friends, with family, or something in the news. They are constantly in the middle of something that is getting them bent out of shape. They can’t stop talking about it and they are always trying to draw everyone around them into the feeding frenzy.
Dump Trucks take their emotional baggage and unload it on everyone around them. They don’t ask permission and they often have no sense of when it is appropriate to talk about emotional issues. At a moments notice they are unloading. Often times Dump Trucks feel much better in the short term because they have unloaded everything on those around them.
We all know the common refrain of Chicken Little: “The sky is falling!” Chicken Little sees danger in every moment and around every corner. The sense of pending doom is not limited to their own life, but often times to everyone else around them as well. They often over react and almost never have solutions. They just point out what they think is wrong and this is not limited to their own lives. They are more than willing to point out what went wrong, what is going wrong, and what will go wrong in everyone else life.
A Sandbag is very much like a Chicken Little, but instead of pointing out what is wrong the Sandbag drags your dreams down by telling you all the things that can’t happen. They might not know what is possible, but they certainly know what is impossible, why it is impossible, and what horrible things are going to happen if you try.
The Black Hole sucks every bit of life and joy out of any room they enter. Sometime they do this with what they say, sometimes they do it with a simple phrase, and other times their simple presents is enough to suck the joy out of the room.
This is not a compressive list by any means (add your favorite or least favorites below!), but it is a good start. Once we are able to recognize who the emotional vampires are in our lives and how they affect us then we can respond.
Before We Encounter Emotional Vampires
One of the easiest things we can do to keep ourselves healthy to simply be aware of what we are about to get ourselves into. You don’t know everything that is going to happen over the course of a day, but you have a very good idea. There are emotional vampires that we interact with regularly. When we know it is coming we can do something about it.
Here is a sample tapping patter for a day when we know we are going to encounter a Drama Shark.
I know today I am going to spend time with [insert name of drama shark]…for some reason they are always in the middle of someone’s business…it is as if they feed on the emotion and drama of those around them…it seems to drive them and feed them…because of their energy for the drama it is very easy to get sucked into what they are doing and talking about…just because they are so involved in the drama doesn’t mean that I have to be…I can choose to ignore it…I can choose to change the topic…I can choose to excuse myself when the Drama Shark get going…just because there is drama…it doesn’t mean that I have to be involved in it.
I know that tapping patter looks very simple, but just by taking 60 seconds to tap on something like that it will make a huge difference.
During Encounters With Emotional Vampires
There are two simple things you can do to take care of yourself when you are encountering an emotional vampire.
The first thing you can do is to be very conscious of what is happening and how it is affecting you in the moment. Like a said before, when we become observers of our own lives we quickly recognize what we have control over and what we don’t.
When you realize you are encountering an emotional vampire you can name the type of vampire you are interacting with and name how this type of vampire normally sucks you dry. When you do this you can choose to not to be caught up in what is going on.
It is very important to be in a place where you are just naming what is happening. By this I mean you are stating the facts of what they are doing and how it is affecting you.
This could be just thoughts that are going through your head or it could be something you tap on:
Right now my co-worker is acting like a sand bag…For some reason, he is pointing out every possible thing that could go wrong with the new project…He is over stating what could go wrong and he isn’t seeing anything that could right…I choose not to get caught up in his negativity.
You will notice that nowhere in this patter are we writing motive for why the person is acting like a Sandbag, nor are we saying the choices they are making are bad choices. We are simply stating what is.
When we get caught up in blame and judgment we are giving our control over to someone else and that exactly what we are trying to avoid.
The second thing we can do in the moment is to recognize that it is too bad for the emotional vampire that they are acting like an emotional vampire. This is not an act of pity, but more of a recognition why things might be the way they are. By doing this it is going to make it easier to not blame or judge the acts of an emotional vampire.
Again, this can just be thought or tapped on:
I am not sure why my co-worker is acting like an emotional vampire…they might be afraid of something…they might be worried about repeating a past poor choice…they might not know they can choose another way…I don’t have to be sucked into the life of an emotional vampire…to be able to see there are many reasons for them acting the way they act.
This simple act of recognizing the possibilities of why they are acting the way they are going to free us from lots of negative emotions making it hard for us to choose the act the way we want to act.
After We Encounter Emotional Vampires
There are two things we can do after we have encountered an emotional vampire.
First, we can tap on what just happened.
Here is a sample tapping patter for being around a Black Hole:
I can’t believe how negative [insert name of Black Hole] is…it is so hard to be positive when I am around them…for some reason they just seem to suck the joy out of the room…I have no idea why they are this way…I wish they weren’t this way because it is hard on me and other…but I am sure it is even harder on them…it must be a good feeling to be in that place all of the time…maybe they don’t realize that they don’t have to choose to be that way…maybe they have forgotten what it is like to feel joyful…I choose to know that even though they are in that space that I don’t have to be in that space…I choose to know that I have access to the light, life, and joy that was just sucked out of me…I can choose where I want to be emotionally…I choose to be in the place of light…I choose to be in the place of love…I choose to be in the place of joy.
Again, this doesn’t look very complicated (because it is not), but it is very powerful. If you take 60 seconds to tap on something like this right after you have encountered an emotional vampire you will make sure the experience doesn’t touch the rest of your day. By doing this you are prevent this one moment from cascading into something bigger.
Second, you can spend sometime tapping for the emotional vampires in your life. I am not saying that you need to tap to change them because you know what is best. What I am suggesting is that you tap for the relationships you have with the emotional vampires you have in your life. When you do this you are going to be able to produce the most profound change because you are changing what you have the most control over. You are changing your part of the relationship.
For more information about this type of tapping and some guidance on how to do it check out the free audio: It’s Not Surrogate But It Helps Others To Make Different Choices
They Don’t Have To Suck You Dry
Just because there are emotional vampires out there doesn’t mean you have to let them affect you in the moment or after the fact. With a little awareness, preparation, and care after the fact you can insure that you continue to be safe and healthy.
I would love to hear what other types of emotional vampires you encounter in your daily life. Please add your emotional vampires in the comment section below.
[Note: Some people are more susceptible to emotional vampires than others. If you recognize that this is something you deal with daily I would encourage you to check out the resources on sensitive temperaments.]
photo by Matt MacDonald
It seems like every client I worked with for the last week and a half has asked me about using tapping to help them to sleep better. Daily stress is a very common cause for disrupting sleep because the system is caught up in trying to solve the problems of the previous day and consumed with the worries of tomorrow. In this simple tap-along audio we spend time on physical and mental fatigue, as well as emotional exhaustion, and work on preparing the system for a great night of rest and relaxation. Let me know in the comments section below if this helps you out.
While on retreat a few years ago Russ Hudson said, “We must be in touch with the mind, body, and spirit in order to be candidates for transformation.”
Because of the nature of the modern world we have lost touch with our physical bodies. Most of us are not working the land, in tune with the seasons, or using our bodies for work. Just watch someone who is on-line. It looks as if they have left their bodies.
It is very easy (and healthy) to reconnect with our physical bodies. Here is a great FREE tap along to find yourself reconnected with your body. Take a few moments at the beginning or ending of each day to tap along to this.