Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Helping Someone With EFT Right Now!

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I recently had a chance to do EFT with someone who was having a really bad day. I didn’t have a lot of time to explain what we were doing and I didn’t know how to start. Because I wasn’t sure how to explain what we were going to do, I didn’t do anything. Do you have any suggestions on how to share EFT when you don’t have time to explain what you are doing?


photo by eyesplash Mikul

Here’s a story about using EFT when the person didn’t even know she was doing EFT.

I am part of a team which works in a school system to provide aid and support to faculties and staff in the first 72 hours of an emergency situation. We provide emotional support, debriefing opportunities, and response activities to help begin the healing process.

Recently we were called into a middle school on a Monday morning after one of the seventh grade teachers, “Jane”, had committed suicide over the weekend. By 11am much of our work was done. The students had had a chance to respond, we had identified the students and faculty who would need special attention, and the students were ready to get back to the school day.

Most of the team was debriefing in a hallway as we were waiting for one final class to finish. The vice-principal approached us to ask if one of us would be willing to talk with a second grade teacher who was having a particularly hard time.

I went downstairs to talk to the second grade teacher, “Sally”.

The teacher who had died had only been in the school a year and didn’t particularly get along with the rest of the staff. Sally had been one of Jane’s few confidants at the school. Sally was struggling with two issues.

First, she knew how hard Jane’s situation had been and was feeling guilty that she didn’t do more to help her. Second, she was mad because Jane had left behind a 13-year-old daughter.

I asked her if she wanted to try a relaxation technique that might help a little. I asked her to show me by holding her hands apart how big these emotions were. She held her hands about 2 feet apart.

So I said:

“Place both of your hands on your temples like this,” which I demonstrated by touching both of my temples with my fingertips, “take a few deep breaths and just listen to my voice”:

How could she have left her daughter like this…I should have done more…I knew it was coming and did nothing…her husband has to raise a child on his own.

“Now touch just below your nose like this,” as I demonstrated pressing above the upper lip, “take a few more deep breaths and just listen to my voice”:

Guilty I didn’t do more…mad she left them behind

I repeated this for the chin and collarbone points. I then checked in to see what was left, knowing we had made progress just by looking at her face. She showed her hands 4 inches apart, so we did one more round with just the four points.

I asked if she needed anything else.

She just wanted to give me a hug of thanks and headed back into her classroom.

There are a few things I learned or were reinforced from this experience:

  • Not all the points are always necessary. We have seen this as the basic protocol has moved from 14 to 7 points. Sometimes we don’t need more than one point. Use what is useful.
  • Client don’t have to say anything to tune into the issue. If the issue is intense enough they are fully tuned in and words are unnecessary. Also, the practitioner can provide the words of focus when the client can’t. In this case it was easiest for me to do it, since I didn’t have time to explain what we were doing.
  • Sometimes it’s easiest just to do the work, rather than explain what you’re doing. I know in the past I have talked people out of EFT by trying to talk them into it. People don’t want EFT (or any other tool or protocol), they just want to feel better. By asking, “You want to try something that helps?” they say yes to meet a need. But if I were to say, “Do you want to try a meridian-based psychotherapy that works with the energy of the body to heal at the cellular level?”, I’d be likely to encounter some resistance because I then have to explain every part of the question I just asked.
  • ALSO, because I didn’t feel that I had a lot of time to explain what we were doing, I had her use the touch and breathe method instead of tapping. I figured if I was going to have her tap it was a chance to place one more question in her mind. Keeping it as simple as possible removed all resistance to trying something new.
  • It’s not the best option, but it is possible to work with two issues at once. I have seen in my own practice how dealing with one small piece at a time can resolve bigger things, often collapsing more than just the particular issue we are working on. In this case I didn’t have a lot of time. I had pulled a second grade teacher out of a full class. I took a chance on a super shortcut. I only used four points for two issues at once. It worked. If it hadn’t, I would have moved to more points and dealt with one issue at a time. Since the first round of tapping took less than 60 seconds it was a chance worth taking.

I would love to hear about your experiences of working with others at short notice, please add them to the comment box below.

Trying On The Old Positive Feeling

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Things in my life have gone all pear-shaped lately. About three years ago life was going great and then everything seemed to fall apart. I started to have health issues, I ended a long-term relationship, and I just didn't have the same energy when I got up in the morning. Is there a way that I can use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to make my way back to feeling good?


photo by Maria Morr

I love synchronicity in life. I received this email the same day I worked with a client for a very similar issue. The client call was with “Betty” who wanted to do some work because she was physically exhausted all the time and life seemed like a real chore.

At the beginning of our call Betty shared that in the last six years two of her loved ones had died, she had gained weight, and she was feeling very disconnected from a job she used to enjoy.

To start with we spent some time on her emotional state and how she felt in the immediate moment. I have found when working with a multifaceted issue that it is best to start with how we feel about all the issues and how they are affecting our lives today.

I do this because it can be hard to focus on any one aspect of our issues when we feel overwhelmed by the amount of work that needs to be done. By taking time to do just a few rounds of tapping to deal with the current emotional state we will gain clarity around the larger issues that need our attention.

Betty and I spent about 15 minutes just working with how overwhelming it felt to be dealing with so many issues. We also spent some time on how overwhelming life felt because of her lack of energy. After doing this work she felt much more at peace. Life wasn't perfect, but she was ready for the next step.

Without being asked she started talking about what life was like six years ago. She talked about how she felt like she used to “spark” back then and that she really wanted to experience that again. Her goal was not to somehow achieve an issue-free life, but she really wanted have energy for life again.

I had her start tapping again and asked her to take a few deep breaths and tune into the feeling she felt six years ago when she felt the “spark.” After a few seconds she said that she could, and I could hear a little more energy in her voice.

I asked her, figuratively speaking, to “try on” the old feeling of that spark, energy, and zest for life, as if it were a new outfit that she was trying on at a store. She reported that it felt really good. I followed up by asking, “What doesn't fit quite right? Is it too small, too big, or does it feel uncomfortable in any way?”

Betty then described that it didn't fit right because some of the relationships at work had changed. A good friend had been promoted and she felt it would change their relationship. We then did some tapping around that issue and very quickly she said that she felt at peace about this relationship.

Again, I had her “try on” the outfit of feeling that old spark for life. It felt even better, but this time she was worried because of her health. She was afraid that she wasn't going to be able to do as much at work as she did before and since she was doing less work she was concerned that it would be less enjoyable. We spent some time tapping on having balance at work and not doing too much. We also did some tapping around the idea that good work is judged by the quality of work, how we are challenged, and being able to contribute. Good work is not judged by the quantity of work that is done.

We repeated this process three or four more times. Each time Betty tried the outfit of spark on again. We found the parts that didn't fit right and by doing this each time the feeling of spark became more and more possible.

Obviously this won’t work in every situation but if you are struggling to find a place to start tapping think about how it would feel to be back to your old self. Try that feeling on. Doing this will help you to find the parts that don't “fit” right and are a little off and that will provide you with a great place to start tapping.

Transforming Our Critical Voice Into Something Helpful With Tapping and EFT In 8 Easy Steps

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[Note: In this article I am going to be addressing the role of the critical voice. I am going to speak as if the critical voice has a personality and motives. I am not saying the critical voice is a distinct personality or that it is separate from us in any way. But by speaking of it as if it is distinct it will give us the ability to deal effectively with only one part of our personality, helping us to get some perspective on what is going on and enabling faster transformation.]
One of the reasons that I love EFT/tapping is because it is very effective in dealing with our critical voice. The critical voice is nothing more than that little nagging voice that is always pointing out everything we have done wrong, everything we are going to do wrong, and everything we are never going to be.

Sometimes this voice is nothing more than a simple annoyance, while at other times it can be so crippling that it prevents us from getting out of bed in the morning.

Because of this most of us don’t have a very good relationship with our critical voice. Many of us resent it and even hate it. One of the underlying themes of my work is to transform the relationship we have with ourselves and with parts of our personality in order to facilitate lasting change. Working with our critical voice is a perfect example of a place where we can apply this principle.

It is very difficult for us to transform our critical voice when we are angry at it. When we are angry at a part of our personality it will entrench itself and fight back. If we are willing to change our attitude toward this part of our personality then we can get it to work with us to create lasting and deep transformation.

Before we can begin the process we need to understand why the critical voice exists.

And the reason might surprise you.

The Critical Voice Exists To Make Our Life Better

I know that statement is very hard to believe. I would even be willing to bet that when you read that statement there was a strong emotional reaction against it, but it’s true.

All parts of our personality exist because they are trying to bring us to our higher good. Just because a part’s motivation is for higher good does NOT mean that it is leading us to our higher good. In this example the critical voice is not pointing things out to make us feel bad or to punish us, but instead is doing so to help us see the errors of our ways so that we will make better choices in the future.

And yes, I know, it doesn’t feel that way. It feels like it is just judging and criticizing.

But, when we are able to recognize that it is trying to help us, it will make it easier for us to transform it into something that is truly helpful. As you will see in this process we do not need to celebrate what the critical voice has done to us to recognize its motivation.

The Process For Transforming Your Critical Voice with Tapping and EFT

One of the nice things about the EFT/tapping protocols is that they are very short and give us the chance to try something out for a few minutes. If it doesn’t work then we can return to what we were doing before. This process is no different. You should be able to complete this process in under 10 minutes.

If you don't buy my “The critical voice is here to help you, but is just doing it in the wrong way”, I would encourage you to give this process a try. If it doesn't work out for you then go back to being mad at the critical voice. The only thing you will have lost is a few minutes tapping on something new.

1) Tune in and connect with the critical voice.
In this step all we need to do is connect with the critical voice. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and listen for the voice. It will not be hard to find. Pay attention to where the voice is coming from.

  • Is it something that is internal or external?
  • Is it the voice of someone you know, does it sound like your speaking voice, or is it some other voice?
  • If you were to imagine that the voice belonged to a body, what would that body look like?

The specific answers to these questions aren't important, but by asking them it will be easier for us to connect with the critical part of ourselves, allowing us to do healing work.

2) Affirm the critical voice.
This is going to be the most difficult step of the process because of the hurt and harm we associate with the critical voice. It is important to note that when doing this step we are NOT affirming the tactics of the critical voice and we are NOT affirming the way we feel after we encounter our critical voice. What we are affirming is that it is a part of us that is willing to work very hard to move us to a better life. To do this we would tap on something like:

I would like to give thanks for my critical voice…I am NOT thankful for the tactic that it is using…I am NOT thankful for the way I feel after I experience the critical voice…I am thankful for the fact that there is a part of me that is willing to work so hard…I know that even though it is not doing this…it is trying to make my life better…my critical voice thinks it is making my life better…it thinks that if it berates me…or if it points out everything that is going wrong…that it is going make me make better choices in the future…the critical voice is a very powerful part of me…even if it is not working in a productive way…I know it is working for my betterment…I am thankful that there is a part of me that is willing to work day and night…thinking it is doing what is best for me.

After doing a round of tapping like this we will take some of the edge off. We might not be super-happy with the critical voice, but there is less animosity towards it. At this point that is all we are trying to achieve. When we move from a state of animosity then we are no longer fighting a part of ourselves, and we can now start to work with it.

3) Explain to the critical voice what it is really doing.
As stated above the critical voice in most cases believes that if it is constantly pointing out every flaw and fault, it will motivate us to make better choices. Its motives are either “You don't know you are doing something wrong?” and/or “You don't realize the consequences of these choices?”

In almost every case we are fully aware of the information that the critical voice is providing. In many cases the critical voice is actually over-stating and/or over-reacting to the situation around us. Because we have taken the last step and created a bit of a truce with the critical voice, we can now speak to it with new information.

In this step we are simply going let the critical voice know the consequences of its actions. Try tapping like this:

I know the critical voice is trying to be helpful…but it isn’t…the critical voice is pointing out things I already know…and many times is it pointing out things in a way that is much worse that it really is…the critical voice thinks it is going to encourage me by pointing out my failings…instead I find having every flaw and failing being pointed out to be disheartening…debilitating…I find it very hurtful…I find that it makes it very difficult to believe in myself…it is not pushing me to be better…but instead it is sucking my ability to try right out of my system…I know the critical voice believes it is being helpful…it is not…it is not creating a feeling of encouragement for better…it is creating a feeling of shame…shame is not an emotion of achievement and growth…shame is a feeling of not wanting to try.

4) Show the critical voice proof of its past tactics.
At this point it is very helpful to show the critical voice the proof of what we have just been tapping on. Again, just tune into the critical voice, begin to tap from point to point, and show the critical voice proof of all the ways it has been hurtful and debilitating.

5) Transforming the critical voice into something helpful.
When doing the process with clients there is something very interesting that happens. Clients describe the fact that they can feel the critical voice feeling bad that it has not done its job. I have even had clients describe their critical voice as feeling bad because it feels it is about to be eliminated from the system.

Because we are not fighting with the critical voice (like we were in the beginning), but instead have a relationship with it, we can now guide it to a resource that his helpful. The tapping for this transformation might look like this:

I know the critical voice is very powerful…I have felt the force of its power…but instead of pointing out all of the things I have done wrong…there is a way this voice can be more helpful…I want to harness the power of the voice to be used for my higher good…because I know this voice wants my higher good…I want this voice to stop being a critical voice and become an encouraging voice…because I respond so much better to encouragement…I want this encouraging voice to pick me up when I am down …I want this encouraging voice to push me on to take those last few hard steps…I want the encouraging voice to help me to get started when I can’t quite focus on the task at hand…I want the encouraging voice to use the power it had to see my faults in the past to start to look forward to the opportunities in my future…I want this encouraging voice to move me forward…not keep me stuck in the past…when it does this I will move forward and heal.

This is a very empowering step.

6) Giving the encouraging voice the resources and tools to do its new job.
Just because we want the voice to change (and just because the critical voice wants to become the encouraging voice) doesn't mean the change is going to happen. I have had many clients describe the feeling of having the critical voice being on board with the change but not know what to do next.

I have found the easiest way to complete the change is to ask the critical/encouraging voice what it needs for transformation. The process for this is simple. First, start tapping from point to point. Second, tune back into the critical/encouraging voice. Third, ask it one of the following questions. Fourth, if it states a need based on the questions simply imagine that need being fulfilled.

For example, if it needs permission to change, give it permission. If it needs to know how to encourage you, show it.

Here is a list of sample questions you can ask the voice to help it transform from critical to encouraging.

  • Do you need permission to transform?
  • Do you need training to transform? If so what type?
  • Do you energy to transform? If so what type?
  • Do you need to be connected to other parts of the system? What type of connections need to be made?
  • What do you need from me to make the transformation?

7) Reassure the encouraging voice.
Even when we choose to make this type of transformation it doesn't always take place all at once. And that is ok. The transformation process can take time. We want the healing to happen in a fashion that is long lasting. We are not looking for a short-term quick fix.

The last part of the process is to reassure the encouraging voice that this is going to take time and that we are willing to help it through the transformation.

Try tapping like this:

I am very happy that my internal voice is willing to become an encouraging voice…I know this process is going to take a little time…which is ok because I want lasting change…not a quick fix…I want my encouraging voice to know that I don’t expect it to be perfect right way…I know it is going to need to learn its way into this new role…I commit to check in regularly with the encouraging voice…making sure it has everything it needs to complete this transformation…I give the encouraging voice permission to ask for help from me…even when I am not checking in with it…this is a change that is good for me now…and for the future.

8) Check back regularly.
If this is a process that is helpful for you I would encourage you to do it two or three times a month for a few months to help this transformation process along. I think it is obvious how making the small change of changing one aspect of our personality will cascade into many radical changes in our lives.

I Can’t Do It Unless I Do It Perfectly – One Of The Most Common Reasons We Don’t Take Action

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There are lots of things that motivate us to do well. We all want to be successful. We want to be proud of our work and we want others to recognize our good work.

Sometimes there is an even more powerful driver to success itself: the worry that others will criticize our work.

When we are working from this fear we are coming from a place where everything has to be perfect. The problem is that we are rarely perfect. Since we are rarely perfect we don’t try because we are afraid of the criticism that will result from our imperfection.

Recently I was working with a client named “Brian” who was having a hard time taking action because he needed things to be perfect. During our session we found that he believed the following:

  • I have to be perfect at everything.
  • When I am not perfect it feels horrible.
    • I am not living up to what I should live up to.
    • Others will look down on me.
    • I am going to let myself down.
    • I am going to feel foolish when I fail.
  • Therefore, I am only going to attempt things I know I can do perfectly.

These beliefs were serving Brian well. They spared him the misery of feeling foolish by avoiding the conditions that required him to be perfect.

The problem was that everything didn’t really need to be perfect. The consequences he feared were not real but because of this fear of what would go wrong if he wasn’t perfect, he wasn’t trying anything at all.

So we tapped:

I don’t have to be perfect at everything…there are lots of things where I just need to do well enough…I don’t have to tie my shoes perfectly…I don’t need to make a sandwich perfectly…I don’t have to make the bed perfectly…there are lots of things in my life where all I need is to do them well enough…this doesn’t mean that I will stop striving…this doesn’t mean that I will stop striving for excellence…but I am going to keep everything in perspective…I am going to give myself permission to know that I can do some things well enough without having to do them perfectly.

This round of tapping created a greater sense of peace for Brian, but he could still feel some resistance. For some reason it was still a standard he felt he needed to live up to so we continued the work by going after the definition of perfect:

It is good that I am trying to be perfect…this is rooted in wanting to do my best…this is rooted in wanting to become my best self…but perfect isn’t about getting everything right…perfect is about doing the best that I can…perfect is about living in this moment…perfect is being able to be thankful for this moment…perfect is being able to recognize that in this moment I get to choose who I am…in this moment I get to learn more about myself in the world…perfect is being easy enough with myself that I know I will get another chance…perfect is striving to be my better self…I am always going to be a work in progress…I am never going to do everything perfectly…but I can live this moment as perfect…by striving to be my best…this moment can be perfect because I can learn from the things I am not doing perfectly

This created more peace and relief for Brian. It also created a belief that he could move forward without having to be perfect. As we were doing the tapping described above, Brian remembered his father’s need for perfection from Brian, even when he was a young child. We then tapped to clean up the emotions in those memories.

The need to be perfect, or the fear of what will happen if we aren’t, is one of the most common reasons we don’t take action. Tapping is great for working on that part of you that needs to be perfect.

[Note: Are you looking for tools to help you get out of your own way and achieve what you really want? Check this out]

Overwhelmed By Emotions While Doing EFT: Preventing It From Happening And Dealing With It If It Does

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When I tap I find that I have so many emotions and memories coming up all at once that I feel overwhelmed. It is like they are queuing up to be fixed! Yes, I’m glad this stuff comes up and I deal with it as it comes, but issues are tumbling out so fast they are landing on top of each other. I can’t spend all day in the bathroom at work, how do I deal with all these emotions without feeling overwhelmed?


photo by Ashley Pollak

I have heard of this experience from a number of my clients. It is much like stirring up pond water, the moment you start poking around in it the sediment from the bottom is disturbed and clouds the water.

We can be quite unaware of all the emotions and memories we are carrying around. When we start doing healing work we can stir up the pond and find much more than we bargained for.

I have two recommendations that will help you to not be overcome with emotions when you are tapping. One is for before you dive in, and the other is for when you’ve stirred up more than you bargained for.

Preventing Feeling Emotionally Overwhelmed While Doing EFT By Creeping Up On The Issue

One of the benefits of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is that we are able to creep up on a problem slowly while still doing effective work. Some techniques and therapies require you to dive into intense pain around an issue before you can start healing. It is possible to use EFT in this fashion, but I don’t recommend this approach when doing work alone without the guidance of a skilled practitioner.

I’m not a fan of feeling pain for the sake of pain. Why do healing work in a way that causes a lot of discomfort and distress when you can do it much more gently? A perfect example of this is how we can use EFT to deal with a fear of heights.

We could blindfold someone, take them to the top of a high building, let them freak out on realising where they are, and then start to do EFT.

Is it possible to be successful like this? Maybe, but we’d cause a lot of unnecessary pain in the process.

When I work with someone with this type of fear we start in the suburbs. I tell them that in a while we’ll be going downtown to the top of the tallest building. For someone who fears heights this will cause their anxiety level to rise sharply and we deal with this anxiety by using EFT.

When they are at ease with the thought of heading downtown, we move to the car. In most cases their level of anxiety again rises as the journey to the top of a high building approaches. Again, we do EFT to deal with the anxiety. Once the anxiety is gone we start to drive downtown.

We repeat the process as many times as necessary, stopping to use EFT every time the level of anxiety goes above a 5 until we reach the top of the building. If this means we have to stop the car every 10 minutes and do EFT with each step we take toward the elevator, we do it.

Can this take a great deal of time? Yes. Is it a safe way to heal? In my mind it clearly is.

I recommend that whatever issue you are working on you creep up on it as gently as possible. By doing this you will prevent yourself from becoming overwhelmed. I am in favor of erring on the side of caution even if it means that the healing takes a little more time.

If you think there is a large emotional core to an issue you want to work on I encourage you to take your time. Even when you are doing EFT in a way that feels very slow, it is still a much faster path to healing than most other approaches.

When The Overwhelming Emotions Come Out Of Nowhere While Doing EFT

Sometimes we can’t prevent the flood of emotions and memories. When we started we thought we were working with on an easy, straightforward issue but then something much bigger is uncovered.

We know that EFT is most effective when we can take memories and the emotions associated with them one at a time. It can be difficult to do this when we feel unexpectedly overwhelmed by a group of emotions or memories coming to the surface all at once. Trying to separate them is like trying to separate raindrops in a rainstorm.

When this happens I run through a few steps to calm the storm.

1) Deal with any emotion that you have about being overwhelmed.
We know that we are supposed to break down memories and emotions to clear them effectively and it can be frustrating when we aren’t able to do so. This also produces anxiety that tapping won’t work.

If there is any frustration about being overwhelmed with emotions and memories then that feeling of frustration is the best place to start tapping. The more frustrated you are, the less clearly you’ll see the issues at hand. As you tap give yourself permission to take this slowly. Remember it’s OK not to know everything at once.

Tap on:

I know EFT works better when I can break things down…right now the emotions are coming all at once…I don’t know where to begin…and I feel like I am never going to be able to clear of all of this…but I don’t need to be frustrated or overwhelmed…I will be able to use EFT to take it apart a bit at a time…and by taking it apart little by little it will be manageable…as I break it into pieces it will be easier and easier to manage…I give myself permission to take this slowly…it’s OK that right now I don’t know everything that is going on…[How to use these tapping phrases]

[Side Note: You might also want to take a look at this article on the fear of fear. Sometime we feel overwhelmed because we are afraid of what we will find. If that is the case I think this is a very helpful approach: Fear of Fear]

2) Paint a picture of all the emotions at once
Since we are unable to deal with the emotions one at a time we might as well go after them all at once. Again, this is going to be a somewhat imprecise approach, but the goal of this step is to help us to achieve some clarity so that we can start picking the emotions apart.

In this step tune into all the emotions you are feeling at once. Create a picture in your mind’s eye. Is it something inside of you, or surrounding you? Is it a weight pressing on you or something swirling around you? Is it a mist, a fog, or a storm? Or is it something completely different?

It doesn’t matter what your mind’s eye leads you to, just tune into that image. What color is it? What shape is it? How much does it weigh? What is it made of? Treat this image in exactly the same way you would tune into physical pain.

Now start to tap. At first, just tune into all the characteristics of the image you have just created. As you move from tapping point to point move to a different characteristic — the color, shape, size, weight, where it is located in your body. Keep tuning in and keep tapping.

As you do this you will notice the storm of emotion losing its intensity.

3) Change the image into what needs to happen next
After spending a little time tapping with the image you have in mind, it’s time to change that image. You will either turn it into something new, get rid of it, or destroy it.

If it’s a tornado, see it move off into the distance. If it’s a fog or mist, see the warm morning sun melt it away. If it’s a haze hanging in the air, see environmental engineers with air filters suck away the polluted air, leaving only pure air. If it’s green toxic goo in your chest, see a team of street cleaners work the area over and clean it up. If it’s a heavy metal weight on your chest or shoulders, see little workmen with jackhammers breaking it up.

While doing this, just keep tapping. How you change the image doesn’t matter, but change it for the better. Ask yourself the question, “How could I make this feel better?” and see it happen.

As you do this you will find that you are more relaxed, your issues seem smaller, and you can start to pick the individual emotions apart.

4) Tap on the individual emotions and memories
As the whirlwind of emotions and memories calm you will begin to see each part separately. Now that you can see each part, take them one at a time and tap for them.

Conclusions

The beauty of EFT is we don’t have to feel a great deal of pain for it to be effective. We can work gently on any issue by creeping up on it. There will be times when we become overwhelmed with emotions. When this happens we can still do work by:

  • dealing with the frustration of feeling overwhelmed
  • grouping all the emotions together
  • bringing their intensity down as a group, giving us the space we need to break the emotions apart into manageable pieces

It is important to have a plan when it comes to dealing with feeling emotionally overwhelmed. When you were in grade school your teachers had you practice how to get out of the school if there was a fire. If something did happen then you knew the plan. By having a plan for unexpectedly feeling emotionally overwhelmed you will be able to handle it if it shows up.