Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Why Didn’t Surrogate EFT Stop The Cancer?

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In the newsletter a few weeks ago I shared the story of visiting my much too young friend as her body was losing its battle with cancer. (You can read the full story: With A Heavy Heart)

In addition to many heartfelt responses of concern to my note, I received a number of questions about what I did while she was sick tapping-wise, and how I felt after the fact. For clarity I have summarized the questions (with answers) below.

I would love to hear your thoughts on these questions in the comments below.

After spending what could be many hours of tapping for your friend and her condition, were you ever hopeful that they would overcome this partially or totally?

When I am tapping for someone else I am always working from the starting point that the only thing that I can truly change in the world is me. When I am tuned into what I think others are feeling or experiencing physically I am paying attention to how I am reacting to these thoughts. I am paying attention to any emotion I feel and any physical sensation that I am having. Those are the things I am tapping on.

At the same time I believe that we are all connected in some way. When I transform myself I transform the world. Did I think by tapping in this way that my friend would be cured? I was open to that possibility. I have seen many things come from tapping that in my limited experience I never would have thought were possible.

I have come to a place in my life where I am no longer surprised by grace. When things happen outside my expectation I just think, “Of course that is possible. How could my thinking been so limited?”

When I was tapping I had no expectation of what the outcome was going to be.

Since she wasn’t healed do you feel like you failed (and did you tap for that feeling of failure)?

The feelings of failure I felt were around missing opportunities to be close to my friend sooner. I am sure I am not alone in feeling regret in filling my life with things that in retrospect weren't nearly as important as being with friends and loved ones.

The only thought I had as I sat at the airport on Sunday night waiting to fly home was, “We need to do better for those we love sooner.”

Based on how things turned out, would you tap in the same fashion for someone else who might be in the same situation?

As far as tapping goes I don’t know if there is anything I would have done differently.

Even if the tapping I did wasn’t “effective” or wasn’t done “the right way” for the situation. I sat thinking loving and caring thoughts for a friend. Nothing bad can come from that.

Is it really possible to tap to change someone else’s life or is it really up to them and what they choose to think, do, and believe?

This is really the core question about surrogate tapping.

To be honest: I HAVE NO IDEA!

I know that my thoughts, feelings, and emotions impact the people around me. They are responsible for their own choices, but I know they will respond differently to me showing up in a state of love versus a state of fear. If I tap for myself I will respond to others differently, which will give them opportunities to respond differently to situations.

Every relationship I have is a co-creation. When I transform myself I am transforming the nature of my relationships. It is possible that when I am healing something in myself for me to hold space for someone else to believe new thoughts about themselves.

If I show up in a spirit of love I make it easier for someone else to choose to believe they are worthy of love. I don’t make that choice for them. I am not responsible for them making that choice. But I can make it easier for them.

In the end when I am tapping surrogately for someone what I am doing is spending time thinking loving thoughts about them (good!) and healing the emotions I am feeling (also good!). Whatever comes of that is still beyond my limited understanding of the universe.

Pod #94: How To Get The Most Out Of Self Directed Self Help And Self Directed EFT w/ Maggie Adkins

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I bet you are like me. Somewhere in your home or office there is a large pile of self-help books, cds, and dvds. In addition to this physical pile of resources there is a folder on your hard drive full of ebooks, pdfs, audios and interviews, also filled with amazing information…and you have never looked at over 90% of these resources

They looked enticing. They looked valuable. They looked like they would improve your life.

Somehow we never get around to using to them.

This is a common problem. (So much so, at one point in my notes this interview was entitled “Are you addicted to self-help resources?”)

In this interview I talk with EFT Master Maggie Adkins about how we can best do self-directed improvement work. The issue is not concerning having access to tools (we all have too many tools and resources), but instead about how we approach the process.

Maggie shares many practical ways to show us how we can take advantage of the materials we have, using them in a constructive way to ensure that we are moving forward and not just creating a pile of resources that are collecting dust.


Maggie Adkins

Guest: Maggie Adkins

Contact: web @ MaggieAdkins.com.au; email @ earthwomandreaming@bigpond.com;

About Maggie: Maggie is an EFT Founding Master and also now an AAMET Master Trainer of Trainers as well as a certified TBT (Trauma Buster Technique) practitioner. Maggie's full bio

Pod #93: Getting EFT Into Schools w/ Till Schilling

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When it comes to teaching tapping children are one of my favorite groups. They take to tapping right away because they don’t have many of the hang-ups adults do of needing to understand everything or concerns about looking foolish when they tap.

Like adults, when kids tap they become happier and healthier. One of the bonuses of teaching them to tap is we help them to clear issues whilst they are small, preventing them from growing into life-long issues.

In this interview I talk to Till Shilling about introducing kids to tapping and how to get into schools and classrooms.


Till Shilling

Guest: Till Schilling

Contact: web @ TillSchilling.com; twitter @tappybear

About Till: Till has studied with many of the masters of EFT including Gary Craig, Dr Patricia Carrington and others. He has actively supported the development of this methodology worldwide and has led trainings and workshops in Slovenia, Germany, Chile, Bolivia, Ecuador, the U.S. and Mexico.

Will Saying Negative Phrases While Doing EFT Manifest Bad Things In My Life?

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Q: I am worried that if I say negative phrases I will bring negative things into my life. How can I use EFT without having to use negative phrases?

I receive this question a lot. To answer it we need to look at what is happening when we are tapping and how the words we say impact our success while tapping.

It is important to remember that what we are saying is much less important than what we are feeling when we tap.

The words we say while tapping are not magic.

What is important is where our focus and attention is when we are tapping. If we say, “this pain in my knee…this pain in my knee…” over and over again when we tap but we are thinking about everything that needs to be done once we finish tapping, then the knee isn’t going to feel better.

It is not the words but the focus.

This plays itself out in some interesting ways when we say both positive and negative phrases. To understand this let’s look at a weight release example. Let’s say the client wants to lose 40 pounds but is stuck because of the fact he has failed before and is worried that he will lose the weight only to gain it back again.

Positive v Negative Phrases

There are two ways to approach tapping on this issue.

First, we could address the fear of losing weight only to gain it back again head on. We would tap saying something like:

I have failed before at losing weight…and I’m worried that I will fail again…every time I lose the weight it creeps back…this time will be different…not only do I have a plan to lose the weight…but I have a support system in place…to help me keep it off.

Second, we could decide that we are only going to tap on the positive:

I am going to lose weight…I am going keep the weight off…I am going to look awesome…I am going to feel so much better.

All of these statements are great things to be tapping on, but what is being said is not all that is going on. Every time one of those phrases is said out loud if there is any part of the system that doesn’t believe the phrase to be true, the critical voice will speak up to voice its objections. It might go something like this:

What is said out loud: I am going to lose weight.
What the internal critical voice says in response: And then gain it right back.

Out loud: I am going keep the weight off.
Critical voice: No you aren’t. You failed before and you will fail again.

Out loud: I am going to look awesome.
Critical voice: Only for a short period of time.

Out loud: I am going to feel so much better.
Critical voice: And then the weight will come back and you will feel like crap.

You can see that when we only focus only on the positive and there is a part of us that doesn’t believe the positive statement, the negative will show up.

The good news about this that it doesn’t matter if we use positive or negative phrases because either way we will find our way to tapping on the issues needing attention.

Which Should I Tap On?

The question becomes “Should I use positive or negative phrases while tapping?” For me, the answer is both.

If I recognize a specific limiting belief or block, like the fear of gaining the weight back, my tapping will be most effective if I go right at that issue.

At the same time when I state the goal I want to achieve in the positive I will find my way to self talk and limiting beliefs that I didn’t know existed.

I recommend when tapping to alternate between both positive and negative phrases so that you get both of these benefits.

Self Sabotage: The Number One Issue I Use EFT For (And How I Get Past It)

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Good morning!

Don't you hate it when you get in your own way?

You know what you want, you know the right steps to take, and you just don't take action.

(And to make matters worse, you then beat yourself up for not doing what you need to do.)

I use EFT first and foremost for self sabotage.

Not only do I tap on self sabotage every day, it is the one thing that has made the most profound impact in my life.

I want to teach you how I deal with self sabotage.

I have created a 10 part “Getting Out Of Your Own Way: A Quick Start Guide” and I would like you to have it free of charge.

Here is how you can receive it.

If you sign up you will also receive the 10 part “Getting Out Of Your Own Way: A Quick Start Guide”.

Starting the day you sign up, you will receive an email every other day until you have all 10 parts.

This will not interrupt the regular emails I send to you. It is just an added bonus.

I Need Your Input

Since you have been around the block a few times with EFT I would really value your feedback. Let me know how the steps are working for you, what is going well, what needs improvement, and in which places you think I have completely lost my mind.

Just reply to any of the emails to let me know your thoughts.

Sign up now! I know you want to stop the self sabotage. Get started on knocking it out.

As always, let me know what I can do for you!