Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #24: Fear, Anxiety, Safety, and Freedom w/ Rick Wilkes

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Writing a description of an interview with Rick Wilkes is always a difficult task. On the surface there is the topic at hand for the interview, but when we are chatting things move more much far afield into deep issues of healing and well-being than just the topic at hand. In this interview we talk about the spectrum from feeling completely and irrationally unsafe to complete and total inanition. Anytime there is resistance to change it is really important to ask “Do we feel safe making this change?” In the interview we talk about a number of ways of framing this question to make is more accessible for every issue. In addition to talk about extreme fears and uncomfortable situation we talk about finding space that is safe to heal and what true healing means. This is not just about eliminating fear, but being in a space of feeling alive in every way.


Rick Wilkes

Guest: Rick Wilkes, LMT

Contact Info: thrivingnow.com, Rick@Thrivingnow.com, 1-304-284-0711 or 1-888-222-3856

Bio: Rick Wilkes is an EFT practitioner based in Morgantown, WV. Over the last six years Rick has worked with over 1500 clients. He works regularly with individuals and with his Thriving Now Groups.

Here’s what one of Rick’s loyal clients says: “Working with Rick Wilkes both privately and on team calls has helped me greatly to release the past, move more confidently into the future, and mostly to be more joyfully present in the now. Rick’s open-hearted broader perspective, amazing intuition, and great sense of humor always help me to get right to the core and effectively reframe whatever issue I have. Listening to him work with others has helped me to get in touch with stuff I didn’t even know was there and inspired me in my own work with others. It is a blessing and honor to work with such a master.”
Links & Resrouces From Episode:

Making It Safe To Heal With EFT/Giving Ourselves Permission To Heal (part 1 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 1 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Dan Dickinson

Our body/system does not have an agenda. There is nothing that our body/system does unless it believes it is the best thing for us. There are times in which the body/system is making a choice from misinformation, but it is only providing the information that it thinks is going to keep us safe.

For example, lets look at a fear of public speaking. When we have a fear of public speaking it is because the system thinks there is great danger in public speaking. If we are in a situation where job promotion is based on our ability to speak in public this does not look like the system is protecting us. Instead the fear is hurting us.

In this case the system might fear, “If we speak in public everyone is going to see how stupid we really are. Every time we open our mouth in public we do something stupid. They are all going to laugh.”

Because the system is holding this belief it believes keeping us from speaking it is keeping us safe. The problem is in this case (like most limiting beliefs we have) it is keeping us safe from something that is not a real danger.

Because the system believes there is a danger in speaking is public there is going to be resistance to letting go of that fear of public system. The system sees that if we let go of the fear of public speaking (which is a defense mechanism) we are then going to end up in unsafe places. The system believes it is unsafe to heal this belief because we will then put ourselves in an unsafe situation (speaking in public in this case).

It becomes much easier to heal this fear of public speaking when we are able to recognize (on a system/subconscious level) that it is safe to heal. This is an easy task that can be achieved easily (as we will see) by tapping.

When the body is carrying extra weight the system almost always believes that there is a reason for holding the weight. On the level of looking at physical symptoms as metaphor, extra weight is a prefect metaphor for not feeling safe in the world. The extra weight is a shield or a mechanism to keep others away. (I have heard this from countless clients when we do deep parts work.)

Our natural state is to be fit and healthy, therefore the system has to be working overtime to be holding the weight. In this case it is clear the system sees the weight as being needed and therefore believes that it is unsafe to release the weight.

The first step in any weight release program is let the system it is safe to heal. Here is how I would tap to start this process:

My body is holding extra weight…it is doing this because if feels I need the weight…it also feel that I will be unsafe…or the world will be unsafe…if I release the weight…my system thinks I am going to be unsafe…the body is working really hard to keep this weight…because it wants me to be safe…I recognize how hard the system has to work to keep this weight…I am happy my body is willing to work so hard…but I know the tact it is choosing isn’t the best for me in the short or long term…by recognizing how hard the body is working to keep me safe…I don’t need to keep doing the same thing…right now I am speaking to the part of me that is keeping the weight…I let it know and my whole system know that is it safe for me to heal…I am worthy of this healing…the world can be a safe place for me…I can thrive in the world in a safe way…and release this weight…the shield of weight can be changed in to a more effective way of protecting myself…the weight isn’t keeping me safe…I know the body is trying to shield me…but extra weight is not the best way to keep me safe…it is safe for me to heal and release this weight…because in this process I am going to find the true issues that need healing…they extra weight is a symptom…it is part of my system calling out to the need for deeper healing…because I am aware of this face…the weight has done its job by letting me know there is deeper healing needed…by walking down this path I am going to move forward in many areas of my life…which is what I want…and am worthy of healing the weight…it is safe for me to move forward…part of the reason it is safe is because I am not doing to do it all at once…this will be bit by bit…I know my system wants what is best for me…I want the system to know I appreciate all the work it is doing for me…and I want the system to be more effective in its work…one of the ways this is going to happen is by letting this transformation to happen…in a safe and healthy way…it is safe for me to heal the issues of this extra weight

In part 2 of this series we will look at when we don’t believe our goal is achievable.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Pod #23: Getting To The Root Of A Current Issue w/ Tania A Prince

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One of the most difficult parts of using Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping effectively is in trying to figure out the root cause of the emotions we are currently feeling. Although we can often guess that a past event might be relevant it is difficult to be certain. In this podcast Tania Prince explains part of the process she calls Deep State RePatterning which can safely give us access to information about a past event held in the subconscious mind, allowing us the opportunity to do transformational work with that information.


Tania A. Prince

Guest: Tania A. Prince EFT Master

Contact: web @ eft-courses.co.uk, e-mail @ contact page

Biography: Tania is an EFT Master (one of fewer than thirty worldwide). She has extensive experience of using EFT with clients and has worked on a vast range of issues, including fear of public speaking, blushing, panic attacks, success coaching, phobias, depression, addictions, anxiety, weight management, agoraphobia and serious illnesses, etc. She works from two clinics in Cheshire, England as well as working with clients throughout the UK and internationally via the phone. Her work has been featured on television and radio shows both in the UK and abroad. She presents regularly at major international conferences and is a TAT Professional Trainer.

Pod #22: Tapping Insiders Club – Ask The Expert

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Each month the Tapping Insiders Club does an “Ask The Expert” interview where they pose questions from their members to a tapping practitioner. For the month of December I was asked to field these questions. In this interview Jessica Ortner asks me questions from total tapping beginners to questions from practitioners.

Music used in this podcast from stefsax and panu moon

Asking For Proof

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photo by euthman

In my work with clients I do a great deal of parts work. Parts work is nothing more than a very easy way of isolating a part of our system to find information about the issue we are working on.

One of the very easy ways of doing parts work is to have a little conversation with a part of the body. Often time this conversation is with a physical sensation. It could be a physical pain (like an aching muscle) or the physical feeling (like tightness in the stomach accompanying nervousness). Once we have tuned into this part of the body we are working on we can ask it question. To do this we simply pretend that we are able to have a conversation with part of the body.

Once I am “talking” to this part of my body/system one of the first questions I often ask is, “Why do you exist?” or “What are you worried about?” or “What are you trying to keep me safe from?” These questions can give us the underlying belief that is keeping the issues in the system. We can get answers like, “You are going to get hurt.” “People will laugh if you fail.” “You are not good enough.” “It is too hard.”

You will notice that in almost every case these types of answers are about keeping us safe. The problem is many times it is trying to keep us safe from things that are not really dangerous. This is an example of the system trying to take care of us by protection us from things that we don’t need protection from. Even though these worries are not founded, once we have uncovered them it becomes very ease for us to use this information to do Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping work.

Once we have uncovered the reason for the feeling there is a very useful question we can ask. Ask the part “What proof do you have that this is the case?” When we ask this question one of two things are going to happen. We could get a very clear answer of the proof the system has to hold this belief or we could see that the belief has no proof on why this is true. Both of these are very helpful outcomes.

When the answer to the question about proof comes back with examples it comes in two forms: examples from our life and examples from others experience. When we are reminded of similar situations in the past all we need to do is do some tapping on the past experience(s). As we clean up the past experience we will be cleaning up the issue that is at hand. When we are reminded of other experiences we can tap on how there situation is different than our own. As we clean up the beliefs of others experiences we are again cleaning up our own issues.

[Note: It is possible that when we ask this question we are going to get proof from our own life as well as proof from others experience. When this happens take each form of proof one at a time.]

There are times when we ask this question where the emotion/belief is not going to be able to provide any proof. This is still good news, but we need to take a little different approach. Anytime we have a part of ourselves that is hesitate or worried it is because there is a fear that we are going to get hurt, but in this case we are holding it without proof that this is the outcome we are going get. When this happens we need to recognize the fear is trying to keep us safe, let it know that we are safe, and let it know it can come back if there is a real danger. The tapping for this could look sound like this:

I thank this worry for being…the only reason it exists is because it is trying to keep me safe…it believes that there is possible danger out there for me…I am glad my system is trying to keep me safe by looking out for possible worries…but sometimes the system worries about dangers that aren’t really there…or dangers that aren’t as big as the system believes…that is what is happening right now…this emotion of fear and worry is just trying to keep me safe…it is just working too hard…I am glad that it is work so hard for me…but I give it permission to relax…it has done it job of warning me of a possible trouble…because I am aware of it I can deal with it if it comes up…so the system doesn’t have to warn me of it any more…the worry has done its job…I am now safe…I can move forward knowing what to look out for…if for some reason this worry feels like it need to come back to warn me again…I welcome this…because I want to know about what possible issues are at hand…but for now I have my eyes open and am safe…I am thankful that my system is worried about my safety…I continue to empower my system to look out for me…know that just like right now I am going to hear the warning of they system to make the best choices for me.

Asking the question “What proof do you have to feel this way or to belief this?” isn’t just limited to doing parts work. This is a question that can be incorporated into many tapping situations. Whenever we are facing a task or activity that we dread we can ask ourselves two question. First, ask “What is the penalty/consequence for me doing this?” You might come up with one or many penalties. For each penalty ask the questions, “What is the proof I have that this penalty/consequence is going to happing?” Based on the answers to these questions we follow the same steps as above to clear the resistance to change and to clear the issue.