Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

What We Can Learn About Healing And Growth From The Actor Who Said “I Am Not Taking That Feedback” To Her Friends And Family

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Riki Lindhome is a delightful actor, comedian, and musician. She has a podcast called Making It in which she interviews actors, directors, stand-up comedians, and casting directors about how their careers have unfolded and what lessons they have learned along the way.

On more than one occasion on the podcast Riki has related a story from the beginning of her own career. Early on she realized that she was a long way from where she wanted to be and her dreams of being a full time actor seemed like a long shot. As she tells it, naturally her confidence wasn’t super high. Friends and family would offer what they thought, were helpful pieces of advice like “Oh that is going to be really hard”, “Make sure you get a good degree” and “Have you considered other careers?”

Riki would tell them, “I am not accepting those statements right now. If you don’t have something that is helpful or encouraging to say you are going to have to keep it to yourself.”

How awesome is that?!?

She had enough sense to see that the things her loved ones were going to say to her were only going to nurture the already planted seeds of doubt and make things even harder.

Our loved ones often say things to us that they believe are helpful, encouraging, or they think by warning us of possible danger they are keeping us safe. In reality they aren’t being helpful, and often make us feel worse than we already feel.

It is good that we have people in our lives who are worried for us and want the best for us. Just because they want the best for us doesn’t mean they know what is best for us or that they are being helpful. We can appreciate their concerns, without, in Riki’s words, “accepting those types of statement at this time.”

Here is a tapping script to help you get into a place where you can let loved ones know you appreciate their concern but that you need to make choices for yourself.

I know the people in my life want what is best for me…They want me to be safe…They want me to be happy…But they want in their terms…They see what is possible through their eyes…They see what is possible through their experience…They don’t know what is right for me…Because I have my own definition of that…This doesn’t mean I know exactly where I am going…This doesn’t mean that I am totally confident in the path I have chosen…But it is my path…That I have chosen for myself…I give myself permission to let the people in my life know that I appreciate that they want what is best for me…I give myself permission to tell the people in my life that at this time their feedback isn’t helpful…I give myself permission to tell the people in my life that I am not accepting any comments from them at this time that are not encouraging…It might be hard to tell my loved ones this…But it is the best thing for me…If they truly want what is best for me…They are going to accept follow my request…I know that from time to time I am going to need to remind them that I am not accepting that type of feedback…But it is the best thing for me…I wouldn’t eat junk food before I run a race…And I am not taking anything that isn’t supportive or healthy for my dreams…I need to choose what I am taking in to make sure I reach my goal.

I would love to hear how loved ones in your life have tried to be helpful but ended up being undermining to you. How did you combat their comments to keep moving in the right direction?

Pod #81: Celebration, Law of Attraction, And A New Way To Understand It w/ Carol Look

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I think that giving thanks and celebrating big and small successes is a really important thing to do. It is also important to recognize the gifts that come with adversity when things don't work out as planned.

Last December I was lucky enough to be a guest on Carol Look’s radio program. We talk about what we mean by celebration, giving thanks, abundance, create v responsibility, and we do a lot of tapping on how we can become clear in order to make good choices in our lives to move us towards achieving the greatness we are worthy of.

Contact Carol: web @ CarolLook.com; twitter @CarolLookEFT;

Side note: Personally, I am a little uncomfortable with a lot of the law of attraction language and conversation. Some it borders on the woo-woo, and some of it is downright ridiculous. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I do think I have a unique point of view, which we examine in this interview.

Pod #80: Using Sounds And Tones While Tapping w/ Andy Bryce

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For tapping to be successful we need to tune into the issue at hand. There are many tools and techniques to do this. In this interview I talk to Andy Bryce about how we can use making sounds as a way of tuning into issues and emotions. By using sounds we can find ways to describe emotions as well as tune into emotions without having to go point by point through the entire issue, which can at time be painful.

This is a very simple approach and an easy tool to add to your tapping tool box.


Andy Bryce

Guest: Andy Bryce

Contact: Web @ TappingThrough.com; Email @ andy@tappingthrough.com; Twitter @eftandybryce; Facebook @ EFTAndyBryce

About Andy: Andy Bryce has been working with personal growth, wellbeing and emotional resilience for over thirty years. For the last seventeen years, his primary toolkit has been Emotional Freedom Techniques. In 2006, Andy was certified as one of only 30 EFT Master Practitioners worldwide. Andy is also a certified mBraining Coach and P.E.T. practitioner.

Andy is a past Director of Training for AAMET, and has trained EFT practitioners in Belgium, France, Canada, USA, Mexico, Australia, Italy, Greece, South Africa and the UK as a Trainer of Trainers.

Pod #79: Reversals and Resistance w/ Lindsay Kenny

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Reversal, psychological reversal, polarity reversal, and secondary benefit are all terms which are thrown around a lot when working with tapping. They can be caused by our thoughts, what we put in our body, and the electronic devices that surround us.

It doesn't really matter what you call them, if they are present then tapping will not work very well (if at all). In this interview I talk with Lindsay Kenny about two major types of reversals and what you can do to correct them.


Lindsay Kenny

Guest: Lindsay Kenny

Contact: web @ ProEFT.com; twitter @ProEFT

Bio: Lindsay Kenny is an EFT Master, author, and Founder of Pro EFT™, and the Pro EFT™ Institute. She’i also a Life Coach, writer, and certified Trainer of Trainers. Coming from a background of poverty, abuse and deprivation, she has used Tapping and the Law of Attraction to create the life of her dreams. Lindsay’s mission in life has been helping others be their best.

She is happy to have had the tools of tapping to fulfill her mission for the past 16 year. While Lindsay will be retiring in 2016, she is turning over the wheel to several of her highly talented, board certified practitioners. This group of Pro EFT™ Masters and Trainers is being headed by Tess Pierson, a long-time student of Lindsay and Pro EFT™. Lindsay will still be maintaining her website ProEFT.com

Here 3 other resources to help understanding reversals:

Tap Like Dr. Phil: 5 Ways to Cut Through BS

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I heard Dr. Phil interviewed once and he was talking about how an interviewer was badgering him about the fact that all he does is repeat common sense. His response was, “Thank you very much!”

It is very easy to see Dr. Phil as a clown and a caricature of himself, but I think we dismiss him at our peril. I have always been very impressed with what he has to say and even more impressed with his ability to cut to the chase.

We can make things too complicated (or at least I do). Here are 5 things that Dr. Phil can teach us about tapping and caring for ourselves.

[Note: According to the internet these are all Dr. Phil quotes. I did my best to verify. I apologise if any are misattributed or misquoted.]

“It’s a choice. You just have to decide that I’m not going to put my energy there. I’m going to decide to let this go. It’s your choice. You can embrace it, you can become a prisoner of bitterness and resentment anger and victim city, or you can just say ‘I’m going to live my life and be happy’”

Our emotional state is a choice. I think this statement is often misunderstood. It is not as simple as ‘I want to be happy therefore I will think happy thoughts’. It is much more like being in a new location. If I want to be in my backyard I need to choose to go to the backyard and then decide to stay there. If we don’t like our emotional state we need to do something to make it different.

It is our responsibility to get ourselves to the new emotional state. Sometimes it takes more work to move forward than other times, but it is up to us. The first step is to choose to be emotionally different and start moving. Even if we don’t know how to do it we can start by tapping on:

I know that my emotional state is my choice. . .even if it doesn’t feel like it is in this moment. . .the emotions I am feeling right now are information about how I am experiencing the world. . .I want to do that in a different way. . .I am not sure what the first steps are. . .but recognizing that I have some control is going to make all the difference. . .

This is to get you moving towards the place you want to be, but you must make the choice first that you are going to be in control.

“You generate the results in your life that you believe you deserve.”

I often say to my clients, “It is impossible to receive a gift when you don’t feel you are worthy of it.” If there is a part of you that doesn’t believe you are worthy of something that part is going to sabotage you and prevent it from happening. The first step to getting something new and better is to make sure you feel emotionally worthy of that new and better.

I love starting a tapping session with:

I am worthy of change. . .I am worthy of better. . .I am where I am. . .but that doesn’t mean I have to stay stuck here. . .Even if my choices are what brought me here. . .I am allowed to move on from this. . .I give myself permission to have great vision for my life. . .I am worthy of better. . .I give myself permission to believe in better.

If you are still having trouble with moving past this check out: Layers Of Resistance

“If you want more you have to require more of yourself.”

There are people in your life who want better for you. There are people who are willing to help. But there is only one person who is responsible for your change and transformation: YOU!

Your life is not going to get better just by hoping, wishing, dreaming and visualizing. You have to take action and you have to be taking more action than you are right now. This doesn’t mean you have to do it all in the next three hours. The new action can be as simple as doing 5 minutes of tapping before you go to bed to get a better night’s sleep which will lead to more energy and better choices tomorrow. Just tap like this:

I know I want better. . .I want more. . .I need to be the one who makes this happen. . .I don’t have to do it all by myself. . .I can get help from others. . .It is good that I get help from others. . .but the one person who is most invested in my progress and success is me. . .I deserve to have better and more. . .I need to require more of myself. . .even if it is something small each day. . .I can do it. . .with small steps.

You just need to do something. Expect more of yourself, hold yourself accountable, and do it. (I know you can do it!)

“You can't change what you don't acknowledge.”

A very common question from tapping beginners is “Why do I have to say the negative? I want to focus on the positive!” [for a full discussion on why we use negative phrases and why tapping is needed see Why Do I Have To Tap?]

We can’t change something that we haven’t named. Yes, it sucks to say, write, or mentally admit the things that are wrong in our life. Just the thought of those things can bring us down and sometimes we can slip into wallowing. To have better we have to name what is wrong. If that seems scary here is a way you can tap for it:

Right now I am struggling with a number of things. . .There is a part of me that doesn’t want to admit it is there. . .when I think about what isn’t working I have to admit things are not going right. . .I have to look at the part that is no fun. . .it can pull me down. . .and sometimes I get stuck in negative feelings. . .and it can be hard to crawl out. . .but I am not thinking of what is wrong to just wallow in it. . .I am not thinking of what is wrong to punish myself. . .I am doing it because I know I need to name the areas of my life that need improving before I can change them. . .This is the first step to getting something better. . .As I think of what isn’t working I am going to tap a bit. . .this will help me not slip into an emotional funk. . .I am thinking of what is wrong as a stepping stone to what I want. . .

“The most you get is what you ask for.”

This is true with others and this is true with ourselves. It can be hard to ask for things. We feel like we need do everything on our own, that if we were worthy of something we would make it happen, or if they wanted to help us they would do it without asking.

If you have a hard time asking for help or better it is great tap-able issue. Here is a tap along for just this: What Would I Choose For Today?

Take Action

Regardless of what you think about Dr. Phil his sense of needing to take action, take control, and take responsibility for your life is something we can all strive for. You don't have to do it all at once, but if you take the time to tap to a few of these scripts you will create space to take action.

Do you have a favorite Dr. Phil quote, favorite way of cutting through the BS, or feel one of these quotes motivating you? Let me know below in the comments.