Did you know there are good reasons to wash your hands before and after you tap? It will keep you healthier and, surprisingly, it will also help you to release negative emotions.
photo by Martin Deutsch |
I love tapping. I want everyone to love tapping. I have seen its power in my own life and I want to share that with others.
When I was very new to tapping I made many mistakes when I was sharing about how great it is, mostly running people over with my enthusiasm! Here are 10 things you can do when you are teaching tapping to help you communicate better, create open-mindedness in those you are sharing with, and as comfort for yourself, regardless how it is received.
Yes, this will be hard! Tapping is really amazing. Everyone can find some use for tapping. It is the greatest thing since sliced bread!!!
(Deep breath)
When sharing about tapping it is important to keep in mind what it is like when you talk to someone who is really excited about something like vitamins, home composting, a new exercise regime, a new television show, or their favorite brand of cereal. At a certain point we start to tune them out because they go on and on and on about what they love and why it will change your life forever.
Be excited, but don't run people over (or you risk looking like a lunatic)
This goes hand in hand with controlling your enthusiasm. I have seen some really amazing things when it comes to tapping. Some of these things are so amazing that they are unbelievable to the point that it hurts tapping’s credibility because it seems over-hyped.
I have firsthand experience with tapping in helping an autistic child go from having the verbal skills of a 20 month old to that of a 5 1/2 year old in two weeks. That is amazing AND on a lot of levels unbelievable (even to me, and I saw it with my own eyes).
In these times when over-hyping is commonplace, we have a tendency to tune out really big claims.
Remember, making a headache go away in 3 minutes without the use of drugs is amazing. Killing a craving for a life-long addiction to cigarettes in 90 seconds is unreal, even if the relief is only for a few hours.
I always start with a statement like, “I know this really weird thing that might help. It doesn’t work all the time, but it only takes 60 seconds to try. Want to see what happens?”
By doing this any success will be welcomed. If we oversell it, a “small” amount of success can feel like a let down.
Tapping looks and feels weird because it is weird. But that is OK. There are two very good reasons to call tapping weird.
First, you will put people at ease by naming what it is. When I am teaching someone I will say, “I know this looks so silly.” It is hard to do something that people think is silly but when we name it, it becomes OK. Second, the word ‘weird’ is hypnotizing. People want to understand weird. “Oh my gosh, this is so weird you have to try it.”
Calling tapping weird won’t drive them away, but instead it will make them more comfortable with the idea and it helps with underselling it.
You want to show people that it works so you want to use an issue that will demonstrate results quickly. If it has persisted for years or has taken years to create, it will be harder to knock out in a few minutes.
I like to have the person take a deep breath, scan their body, and find an ache or pain. Stiffness or aches in the shoulder or neck are perfect because they are normally stress related and easy to knock out.
This gives us a chance to demonstrate success without having to recall a long memory from years ago. Remember the goal is to get them excited about tapping. Once they are on board we can go after the bigger stuff because they will be willing to give us more time and attention.
You want to make sure the success is big enough to be significant. Many times when something goes from a 2 to 0 it is nice, but really isn’t that big of a deal. We want the issue to be big enough that it is worth trying again.
It is important to note that we don’t have to knock the whole thing out in one round to be impressive. For some reason taking a pain that is a 6 to a 4 is more impressive than taking a 2 to 0. Because we are impacting something that is much worse it feels more significant even though the first step might be small.
There have been a number of times when I have had someone who is willing to tap but as I explained it to them how to tap and why it worked, I talked them out of it. At first they were willing to try and then all of a sudden they think, “This is too weird. I’m out of here!”
What I do is something like this:
Then I start to explain what has happened. Now that they have experienced it firsthand they will be more open to something that is outside their norm because they have experienced the positive results firsthand.
You know a lot about tapping (more than you are aware). You did not get this information from one article, one video, one ebook, or one class. Because you have seen the effectiveness of tapping in your own life you have wanted to learn more. You have had time to build your knowledge base.
You need to give the people you are teaching the same chance to learn.
Give them enough information to start and try it on their own. When they are ready for more information they will ask. We don't need them to be master tappers. They just need to be excited enough to want to learn more.
I don't remember to tap all the time (and I do this for a living). The people you teach are very new to tapping. They will forget to use tapping as well. After showing someone how to tap make sure you check in with them a few days later.
First, it will serve as a great reminder to use it. Second, it will give you a chance to answer any questions they have that they might not have been comfortable asking out of the blue.
People learn more when they are asking questions about something because it is coming from their own curiosity. You can talk about tapping in a natural way without beating people over the head with it, which can create a situation where they are going to ask questions.
It can happen like this…you are having coffee with a friend and you are catching up. She asking how things are going. You talk about how things were going at work, the things that were stressing you out, and how this really weird tapping thing helped you.
Your friend knows what stress at work is like and how much it stinks. She wants to be stress free and will start asking questions.
The easiest person you are ever going to teach is the person who is asking you questions and wants to learn.
One of the things I am noticing about tapping is that more and more people have heard about it. Not that they are doing it (or even know how to do it), but they have heard of it. The more people hear about something from multiple sources, the more credible it is in people’s minds.
You might be the first person who brings up tapping to a friend and it might take them hearing about it from 4 or 5 places before they are willing to give it a try. It is too bad that they aren’t willing to try with you, but because you have brought it up they are one more experience closer to trying it.
Sometimes you are going to teach someone to tap and other times you will just plant seeds for the moment when they are ready to give it a try. Be easy with yourself that it is OK to be a seed planter.
You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to remember everything (or even these 10 ideas). Be open. Be honest. Be loving. You will find lots of people to share with.
I would love to hear your ideas about how best to share tapping with others. Click here to read what others have to say or add your own thoughts and comments. I would really love to hear what you think!
Emotions are more than just what we feel. When we experience an emotion there are many things happening at a biochemical and cellular level. In this interview with Stacey Vornbrock we talk about what happens physically when we feel emotions, how we can become addicted to them, and how to break that addiction. By recognizing the addictive nature of some emotions we can find see our way to new ways to tap.
 Stacey Vornbrock |
Guest: Stacey Vornbrock
Contact: web @ BreakthroughPerformance.net ; twitter @ StaceyVornbrock; email @ stacey@breakthroughperformance.net
Bio: Stacey Vornbrock, M.S. has been pioneering the use of EFT with professional and amateur athletes to release mental, emotional, physical, and mechanical blocks on the cellular level since 2003. She is recognized as a leading expert and innovator in the use of EFT with sports performance. Most notably, she has pioneered the application of EFT with injury and surgery recovery, releasing soreness, increasing range of motion, and making sports-related mechanical changes in minutes.
Tapping protocol that Stacey talked about during the interview.
Did you know there is a tapping routine to avoid getting sick that you can do in just 60 seconds a day? It is as simple as tapping to this video.
photo by Fine Shots |
Tapping with children can be a very rewarding experience. In many cases children take to tapping much faster than adults because they are more willing to try new things and aren’t hung up on why something is working. They just want to feel better.
Here are five things to keep in mind when teaching kids to tap. (Note: All five lessons below are hard won. I know them to be true because I have done the opposite of all 5 at one point.)
I recently spoke to 600 middle school students about bullying. To start the presentation I talked about why bullies bully. I talked about what happens on an emotional level and how that affects our choices. At the end of the presentation the children broke up into to small groups with their adults to talk about what they can do to stop bullying in their schools. After the small group time a number of the adults walked up to me to express how surprised they were with the complexity of thoughts the kids had, the emotions they experienced, and how overall thoughtful they were.
Kids don't have the vocabulary to express their emotions and thoughts the way adults do, but they are thinking real thoughts about their lives, their emotions, and who they are. Give them space to talk about their emotions, teach them how to talk about them, and they will surprise you (in really good ways).
Kids today are very savvy because of their access to information and technology. They are treated by big business as a market place and they are constantly sold to through TV and online. Because of this they have very sophisticated BS detectors and they can tell when someone is not being authentic with them.
It is very tempting to want to be cool and hip when talking with kids (especially teens), thinking you are “speaking their language”. It is just the opposite. They don't want some line or for you to talk like them. They want someone who is just being who they are, even if that means being your dorky self.
You can’t ask a child to honest with their emotions and be comfortable inside their own skin unless you are willing to try to do the same.
When we are working with teens or children we are doing it because we want better for them. That is the goal. Nothing more. Nothing less. We are not trying to be their friend and we are not trying to gain their admiration. We have our own friends and peers for that. This doesn't mean that we act like jerks or that we don't care, forgetting to treat them with respect. Sometimes wanting the best for someone is asking them to do difficult things and things they might not enjoy.
To help them heal we need their respect, not their love and affection. It is ok to be comfortable with that notion.
Children (and most people) don't care how or why tapping works. They are just looking for something that makes them feel better. When working with kids and teens give them tools. They don't need theory. They want to be better, happier, and healthier. Once they know the tool works they might ask you how it works and why.
I love coming up with little processes that are easy to follow.
For example, a great way for parents to teach kids to tap for themselves is have them tap and explain four things whilst they are tapping.
Very simple. It is easy to remember and easy to do. Once they have the tools they can take care of themselves.
As I said above, children (and many adults) don't have the skill or vocabulary to talk about their emotions as emotions. I like to have them talk about how the emotions feel in the body to help them to tune in.
They might not have the vocabulary to talk about the disappointment that comes with poor grades vs. fighting with a friend. They might call both of these emotions “mad”. But if you get them to talk about how it feels in the body they will be able to be more specific. By describing where the emotion is in the body (head, hands, stomach…) and how it feels in these places (heavy, tight, hot…) they will be much more successful with their tapping.
You don't have to be perfect when working with teens or children. They are looking for adults who care about them and care about their well being. Show up from a place of love, treat them with respect, and be ready for lots of questions and you will be a great tapping teacher and tapping role model for them.
What have you found works well when tapping with kids? What mistakes have you made from which you have learned? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to know what you think!