Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #80: Using Sounds And Tones While Tapping w/ Andy Bryce

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For tapping to be successful we need to tune into the issue at hand. There are many tools and techniques to do this. In this interview I talk to Andy Bryce about how we can use making sounds as a way of tuning into issues and emotions. By using sounds we can find ways to describe emotions as well as tune into emotions without having to go point by point through the entire issue, which can at time be painful.

This is a very simple approach and an easy tool to add to your tapping tool box.


Andy Bryce

Guest: Andy Bryce

Contact: Web @ TappingThrough.com; Email @ andy@tappingthrough.com; Twitter @eftandybryce; Facebook @ EFTAndyBryce

About Andy: Andy Bryce has been working with personal growth, wellbeing and emotional resilience for over thirty years. For the last seventeen years, his primary toolkit has been Emotional Freedom Techniques. In 2006, Andy was certified as one of only 30 EFT Master Practitioners worldwide. Andy is also a certified mBraining Coach and P.E.T. practitioner.

Andy is a past Director of Training for AAMET, and has trained EFT practitioners in Belgium, France, Canada, USA, Mexico, Australia, Italy, Greece, South Africa and the UK as a Trainer of Trainers.

Pod #79: Reversals and Resistance w/ Lindsay Kenny

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Reversal, psychological reversal, polarity reversal, and secondary benefit are all terms which are thrown around a lot when working with tapping. They can be caused by our thoughts, what we put in our body, and the electronic devices that surround us.

It doesn't really matter what you call them, if they are present then tapping will not work very well (if at all). In this interview I talk with Lindsay Kenny about two major types of reversals and what you can do to correct them.


Lindsay Kenny

Guest: Lindsay Kenny

Contact: web @ ProEFT.com; twitter @ProEFT

Bio: Lindsay Kenny is an EFT Master, author, and Founder of Pro EFT™, and the Pro EFT™ Institute. She’i also a Life Coach, writer, and certified Trainer of Trainers. Coming from a background of poverty, abuse and deprivation, she has used Tapping and the Law of Attraction to create the life of her dreams. Lindsay’s mission in life has been helping others be their best.

She is happy to have had the tools of tapping to fulfill her mission for the past 16 year. While Lindsay will be retiring in 2016, she is turning over the wheel to several of her highly talented, board certified practitioners. This group of Pro EFT™ Masters and Trainers is being headed by Tess Pierson, a long-time student of Lindsay and Pro EFT™. Lindsay will still be maintaining her website ProEFT.com

Here 3 other resources to help understanding reversals:

Tap Like Dr. Phil: 5 Ways to Cut Through BS

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I heard Dr. Phil interviewed once and he was talking about how an interviewer was badgering him about the fact that all he does is repeat common sense. His response was, “Thank you very much!”

It is very easy to see Dr. Phil as a clown and a caricature of himself, but I think we dismiss him at our peril. I have always been very impressed with what he has to say and even more impressed with his ability to cut to the chase.

We can make things too complicated (or at least I do). Here are 5 things that Dr. Phil can teach us about tapping and caring for ourselves.

[Note: According to the internet these are all Dr. Phil quotes. I did my best to verify. I apologise if any are misattributed or misquoted.]

“It’s a choice. You just have to decide that I’m not going to put my energy there. I’m going to decide to let this go. It’s your choice. You can embrace it, you can become a prisoner of bitterness and resentment anger and victim city, or you can just say ‘I’m going to live my life and be happy’”

Our emotional state is a choice. I think this statement is often misunderstood. It is not as simple as ‘I want to be happy therefore I will think happy thoughts’. It is much more like being in a new location. If I want to be in my backyard I need to choose to go to the backyard and then decide to stay there. If we don’t like our emotional state we need to do something to make it different.

It is our responsibility to get ourselves to the new emotional state. Sometimes it takes more work to move forward than other times, but it is up to us. The first step is to choose to be emotionally different and start moving. Even if we don’t know how to do it we can start by tapping on:

I know that my emotional state is my choice. . .even if it doesn’t feel like it is in this moment. . .the emotions I am feeling right now are information about how I am experiencing the world. . .I want to do that in a different way. . .I am not sure what the first steps are. . .but recognizing that I have some control is going to make all the difference. . .

This is to get you moving towards the place you want to be, but you must make the choice first that you are going to be in control.

“You generate the results in your life that you believe you deserve.”

I often say to my clients, “It is impossible to receive a gift when you don’t feel you are worthy of it.” If there is a part of you that doesn’t believe you are worthy of something that part is going to sabotage you and prevent it from happening. The first step to getting something new and better is to make sure you feel emotionally worthy of that new and better.

I love starting a tapping session with:

I am worthy of change. . .I am worthy of better. . .I am where I am. . .but that doesn’t mean I have to stay stuck here. . .Even if my choices are what brought me here. . .I am allowed to move on from this. . .I give myself permission to have great vision for my life. . .I am worthy of better. . .I give myself permission to believe in better.

If you are still having trouble with moving past this check out: Layers Of Resistance

“If you want more you have to require more of yourself.”

There are people in your life who want better for you. There are people who are willing to help. But there is only one person who is responsible for your change and transformation: YOU!

Your life is not going to get better just by hoping, wishing, dreaming and visualizing. You have to take action and you have to be taking more action than you are right now. This doesn’t mean you have to do it all in the next three hours. The new action can be as simple as doing 5 minutes of tapping before you go to bed to get a better night’s sleep which will lead to more energy and better choices tomorrow. Just tap like this:

I know I want better. . .I want more. . .I need to be the one who makes this happen. . .I don’t have to do it all by myself. . .I can get help from others. . .It is good that I get help from others. . .but the one person who is most invested in my progress and success is me. . .I deserve to have better and more. . .I need to require more of myself. . .even if it is something small each day. . .I can do it. . .with small steps.

You just need to do something. Expect more of yourself, hold yourself accountable, and do it. (I know you can do it!)

“You can't change what you don't acknowledge.”

A very common question from tapping beginners is “Why do I have to say the negative? I want to focus on the positive!” [for a full discussion on why we use negative phrases and why tapping is needed see Why Do I Have To Tap?]

We can’t change something that we haven’t named. Yes, it sucks to say, write, or mentally admit the things that are wrong in our life. Just the thought of those things can bring us down and sometimes we can slip into wallowing. To have better we have to name what is wrong. If that seems scary here is a way you can tap for it:

Right now I am struggling with a number of things. . .There is a part of me that doesn’t want to admit it is there. . .when I think about what isn’t working I have to admit things are not going right. . .I have to look at the part that is no fun. . .it can pull me down. . .and sometimes I get stuck in negative feelings. . .and it can be hard to crawl out. . .but I am not thinking of what is wrong to just wallow in it. . .I am not thinking of what is wrong to punish myself. . .I am doing it because I know I need to name the areas of my life that need improving before I can change them. . .This is the first step to getting something better. . .As I think of what isn’t working I am going to tap a bit. . .this will help me not slip into an emotional funk. . .I am thinking of what is wrong as a stepping stone to what I want. . .

“The most you get is what you ask for.”

This is true with others and this is true with ourselves. It can be hard to ask for things. We feel like we need do everything on our own, that if we were worthy of something we would make it happen, or if they wanted to help us they would do it without asking.

If you have a hard time asking for help or better it is great tap-able issue. Here is a tap along for just this: What Would I Choose For Today?

Take Action

Regardless of what you think about Dr. Phil his sense of needing to take action, take control, and take responsibility for your life is something we can all strive for. You don't have to do it all at once, but if you take the time to tap to a few of these scripts you will create space to take action.

Do you have a favorite Dr. Phil quote, favorite way of cutting through the BS, or feel one of these quotes motivating you? Let me know below in the comments.

Don’t Do These 10 (plus 1) Things If You Want To Fail At Teaching Tapping

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photo by Martin Deutsch

I love tapping. I want everyone to love tapping. I have seen its power in my own life and I want to share that with others.

When I was very new to tapping I made many mistakes when I was sharing about how great it is, mostly running people over with my enthusiasm! Here are 10 things you can do when you are teaching tapping to help you communicate better, create open-mindedness in those you are sharing with, and as comfort for yourself, regardless how it is received.

1) Control Your Enthusiasm

Yes, this will be hard! Tapping is really amazing. Everyone can find some use for tapping. It is the greatest thing since sliced bread!!!

(Deep breath)

When sharing about tapping it is important to keep in mind what it is like when you talk to someone who is really excited about something like vitamins, home composting, a new exercise regime, a new television show, or their favorite brand of cereal. At a certain point we start to tune them out because they go on and on and on about what they love and why it will change your life forever.

Be excited, but don't run people over (or you risk looking like a lunatic)

2) Undersell it!

This goes hand in hand with controlling your enthusiasm. I have seen some really amazing things when it comes to tapping. Some of these things are so amazing that they are unbelievable to the point that it hurts tapping’s credibility because it seems over-hyped.

I have firsthand experience with tapping in helping an autistic child go from having the verbal skills of a 20 month old to that of a 5 1/2 year old in two weeks. That is amazing AND on a lot of levels unbelievable (even to me, and I saw it with my own eyes).

In these times when over-hyping is commonplace, we have a tendency to tune out really big claims.

Remember, making a headache go away in 3 minutes without the use of drugs is amazing. Killing a craving for a life-long addiction to cigarettes in 90 seconds is unreal, even if the relief is only for a few hours.

I always start with a statement like, “I know this really weird thing that might help. It doesn’t work all the time, but it only takes 60 seconds to try. Want to see what happens?”

By doing this any success will be welcomed. If we oversell it, a “small” amount of success can feel like a let down.

3) Call Tapping “Weird”

Tapping looks and feels weird because it is weird. But that is OK. There are two very good reasons to call tapping weird.

First, you will put people at ease by naming what it is. When I am teaching someone I will say, “I know this looks so silly.” It is hard to do something that people think is silly but when we name it, it becomes OK. Second, the word ‘weird’ is hypnotizing. People want to understand weird. “Oh my gosh, this is so weird you have to try it.”

Calling tapping weird won’t drive them away, but instead it will make them more comfortable with the idea and it helps with underselling it.

4) Start With A Simple Issue

You want to show people that it works so you want to use an issue that will demonstrate results quickly. If it has persisted for years or has taken years to create, it will be harder to knock out in a few minutes.

I like to have the person take a deep breath, scan their body, and find an ache or pain. Stiffness or aches in the shoulder or neck are perfect because they are normally stress related and easy to knock out.

This gives us a chance to demonstrate success without having to recall a long memory from years ago. Remember the goal is to get them excited about tapping. Once they are on board we can go after the bigger stuff because they will be willing to give us more time and attention.

5) Make Sure The SUDs Level Is Bigger Than A Three

You want to make sure the success is big enough to be significant. Many times when something goes from a 2 to 0 it is nice, but really isn’t that big of a deal. We want the issue to be big enough that it is worth trying again.

It is important to note that we don’t have to knock the whole thing out in one round to be impressive. For some reason taking a pain that is a 6 to a 4 is more impressive than taking a 2 to 0. Because we are impacting something that is much worse it feels more significant even though the first step might be small.

6) Show Them First

There have been a number of times when I have had someone who is willing to tap but as I explained it to them how to tap and why it worked, I talked them out of it. At first they were willing to try and then all of a sudden they think, “This is too weird. I’m out of here!”

What I do is something like this:

  • find an issue
  • rate its intensity
  • tap
  • get some relief
  • say, “Isn't that weird and COOL!”

Then I start to explain what has happened. Now that they have experienced it firsthand they will be more open to something that is outside their norm because they have experienced the positive results firsthand.

7) Don't Tell Them Everything You Know

You know a lot about tapping (more than you are aware). You did not get this information from one article, one video, one ebook, or one class. Because you have seen the effectiveness of tapping in your own life you have wanted to learn more. You have had time to build your knowledge base.

You need to give the people you are teaching the same chance to learn.

Give them enough information to start and try it on their own. When they are ready for more information they will ask. We don't need them to be master tappers. They just need to be excited enough to want to learn more.

8) Follow Up

I don't remember to tap all the time (and I do this for a living). The people you teach are very new to tapping. They will forget to use tapping as well. After showing someone how to tap make sure you check in with them a few days later.

First, it will serve as a great reminder to use it. Second, it will give you a chance to answer any questions they have that they might not have been comfortable asking out of the blue.

9) Talk About Tapping Without Talking About Tapping

People learn more when they are asking questions about something because it is coming from their own curiosity. You can talk about tapping in a natural way without beating people over the head with it, which can create a situation where they are going to ask questions.

It can happen like this…you are having coffee with a friend and you are catching up. She asking how things are going. You talk about how things were going at work, the things that were stressing you out, and how this really weird tapping thing helped you.

Your friend knows what stress at work is like and how much it stinks. She wants to be stress free and will start asking questions.

The easiest person you are ever going to teach is the person who is asking you questions and wants to learn.

10) Be OK With “Just” Planting Seeds

One of the things I am noticing about tapping is that more and more people have heard about it. Not that they are doing it (or even know how to do it), but they have heard of it. The more people hear about something from multiple sources, the more credible it is in people’s minds.

You might be the first person who brings up tapping to a friend and it might take them hearing about it from 4 or 5 places before they are willing to give it a try. It is too bad that they aren’t willing to try with you, but because you have brought it up they are one more experience closer to trying it.

Sometimes you are going to teach someone to tap and other times you will just plant seeds for the moment when they are ready to give it a try. Be easy with yourself that it is OK to be a seed planter.

Bonus) Be Easy With Yourself

You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to remember everything (or even these 10 ideas). Be open. Be honest. Be loving. You will find lots of people to share with.

I would love to hear your ideas about how best to share tapping with others. Click here to read what others have to say or add your own thoughts and comments. I would really love to hear what you think!