Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

You Are Acting Too Responsible AND It Is Hurting You

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I'm lucky.

My life is filled with caring people. People who go much more than the extra mile to take care others. They are thoughtful, they are insightful, and they often know the needs of their loved ones before their loved ones do.

When I see this type of love, care, and concern I am inspired.

And I am heartbroken.

Give Too Much
The problem that very insightful and caring people have is that because they so clearly see the suffering and needs of other that they often put other people's needs first.

Well, that is not true.

Often they put other people's needs first, second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth.

When this happens they end up putting themselves last.

Not only does this make it harder to pursue their goals but there are times where they end up hurting themselves.

Creating Boundaries
Once we realize that we are giving too much we realize that we need to start creating boundaries.

There are two problems with this.

One, we feel like we are letting other people down. We feel like we are being selfish. We feel like we are no longer being caring. Or at the extreme we can feel like because we are not taking care of others we are actively hurting them.

Two, it is hard to recalibrate relationships after we have created a precedent of us always taking care of the needs of others first.

I was talking to my sister last week about this idea and her struggle to create boundaries with some of her co-workers. She said something that I think rings true.

I need to be a responsible adult. I am not responsible for my co-workers.

I really think that sums it up perfectly.

It puts us in the right frame of mind. We are not saying we don't care. We are not saying we are only thinking of ourselves. We are saying that we are going to be responsible adults.

Responsible adults help those in desperate need. Responsible adults are thoughtful about how their actions impact others.

But at the same time we are not taking responsibility for someone else's life or actions. They need to do that.

I need to be a responsible adult. I am not responsible for my co-workers.

For me that statement cuts a nice middle ground of not giving up and not taking on too much.

Tapping To Create Boundaries
If you are struggling to create boundaries in your life the first thing I would do is to take my sisters phrase “I need to be a responsible adult. I am not responsible for other.” and just tap on that over and over again.

Next, I would take these aspects one at a time and tap for them

  • I feel like I am letting other people down.
  • I feel like I am being selfish.
  • I feel like I am no longer being caring.
  • I feel like I am actively hurting others by caring for myself.

If you are looking for support in helping to clear this issue there are lots of tap-along audios around letting others down, being selfish, and how others will respond to you if you are following your goals in the Ruach Center.

There you will find over 160 tap-along audios (with more added each week) and there are a number of them are focused on creating boundaries and being able to put ourselves first. Full details: Ruach Center.

The Reason You Aren’t Tapping? You Aren’t In Enough Pain

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[Note: If you find listening to instruction more helpful than reading you should check out the podcast version of this topic.]

I have some of the nicest readers in the world.

Like anyone who has an email newsletter, people unsubscribe from my list every day.

When unsubscribing there is an option to leave me a comment. Not everyone leaves one, but when they do my readers leave the nicest messages.

They thank me for my work, let me know the ways in which newsletter has been helpful, and wish me well.

On Wednesday I received an interesting note from someone who unsubscribed. She wrote:
[Read more…] about The Reason You Aren't Tapping? You Aren't In Enough Pain

Why My Readers Open My Emails

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A few weeks ago I sent out an email explaining why I run TappingQ&A. As part of the email I invited readers to unsubscribe from this mailing list.

It's not that I wanted people to unsubscribe. It is just that I know how valuable your time is and my aim is to be helpful, not a drain on your time. I only want to be sending emails to people who find them useful.

Two things happened.

One, I had a higher unsubscribe rate than I normally do. Many of the people who unsubscribed explained why and thanked me. It was very nice.

Two, I received a flood of emails saying just the opposite. Things like this:

"I really appreciate not only the great products you produce but also your honesty and authenticity."

"One of the things I really like about your style is your honest clarity. You are the friend I have not personally met, a spectacular mentor, teacher and more and I really look forward to your emails."

"Thanks for all the emails! They are a thread of sanity some days! I keep sending them on to friends as well."

That didn't happen by accident. I have worked really hard to create a relationship with my readers.

Would you like to learn how to create the same rapport with your readers and customers? If so, I encourage you to check out the live event I am presenting at the end of March.

Full details here: http://111marketinglessons.com

And you can register here: http://111marketinglessons.com/now

As always, let me know if there is anything I can do for you,

Gene

PS: If you have specific questions about the event do please drop me a note or call me on 443.957.1317.

PPS: Remember if you sign up before February 10th there is a $500 discount with the code "earlybird".

You Have Questions! I Have Answers!

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Good morning!

I am so excited about the live training event I am doing in March!

After sending the note out last week I received a number of emails and phone calls with questions about the event, which I have answered below.

If you have any other questions please let me know by replying to this email or calling 443.957.1317.

As always, let me know what I can do to be helpful,

Gene

PS: If you don't know what I am talking about, you can check out the full details here: http://111marketinglessons.com

*** Questions and Answers ***

Is there still room?
Yes! We would love you to come. You can register here: http://111marketinglessons.com/now
Remember, use "earlybird" for $500 off.

When I get home after the event what will be able to do?
The two day training is structured so you will walk away with two things. First, you will understand at a conceptual level how I run my business and my marketing. More importantly you will understand why I have structured by business in this way so that you can apply the ideas that are right for you to your own work.

Second, the bulk of the class will be in the form of actionable steps that you can take right away. Because each lesson will be taught with real world examples you will see how to apply it to your own business.

Here are the outcomes of what you will learn in each module:

  • Module 1 will show you how to create a plan to communicate with customers, help you determine which steps need to be taken, and decide which are the most valuable steps to be taken first.
    • You will say: "I'm no longer just stabbing the in dark. I now know exactly what the goal of each email, blog post, web page, tweet, status update, audio and video is and how it fits into the big picture, serves my clients, and grows my business."
  • Module 2 will teach you to communicate clearly about what your products and services do and make it easier for your customers to make buying decisions.
    • You will say: "I now know how to talk about my work and my products in such a way that my clients see exactly how they fit into their lives."
  • Module 3 will give you the tools to create a client base that is looking forward to hearing from you (and buying from you) because they know when you communicate it will serve them and make their lives better.
    • Your customers will say when they get your emails: "I can't wait to see what they have to say this time!"
  • Module 4 will teach you how to create useful and desirable offerings which are much easier to sell.
    • You will say: "I am no longering creating products and hoping they resonate with my customer. I know what they need and want to buy!"
  • Module 5 will teach you how to write in a way that doesn't feel painful and time consuming, but instead makes writing an easy and manageable task.
    • You will say: "I am no longer dreading sitting down to write. I am actually looking forward to it!"
  • Module 6 will prevent you from shooting yourself in the foot by avoiding the things that confuse your customers. Instead you will help customers see how your products and services fit into their lives.
    • Your customers will say: "I can see clearly how that will improve my life. I need that!"
  • Module 7 will teach you to communicate with your clients in manageable chunks that are easy to understand and will prompt them to develop a craving for wanting more of what you have to offer.
    • Your customers will say: "That was so useful. I want to know what else they have to offer."
  • Module 8 will give you the tools that will help you to communicate more clearly with your potential customers to educate them on what they are struggling with and how you can be helpful to them.
    • Your customers will say: "Wow! I didn't know it was that bad. I am glad I found this product/service so I can deal with this before it gets any worse."

What materials am I going to walk away with?
Each of the 8 modules comes with a spiral notebook including all the lessons and all of my slides. In addition to the content there will be lots of space in the notebooks for you to take additional notes.

You will also take home a library of marketing, writing, and communication books that I use in my own practice. (Note: If you don't want to carry the books home I will happily to mail them to you after the event.)

Am I going to get a chance to try out anything I am learning while I am there?
Yes, there will be a number of exercises and opportunities to try out what you are learning. You will receive feedback from your classmates and from me. I believe it is really important to try things out in order to learn.

Is there some sort of money back guarantee?
If you are not completely satisfied by what you are learning by lunch time on Saturday I will give you a full refund on the spot. No questions asked.

Do I have to stay at the hotel?
No. We have a group of rooms set aside at the hotel at the discounted rate of $99, but you can stay where you like. There are two hotels that share the same parking lot as our host hotel and many others within a 5 minute drive.

How easy is it to get to Baltimore?
Super easy! One of the reasons I chose Baltimore is because the airport is one of the cheapest to fly in and out of in the US. We are also very close to the Amtrak station. (That is how I am getting to the event!)

Are you going to record the class and make it available for purchase later?
At this point there are no plans to record the class.

Register Now: http://111marketinglessons.com/now and remember to use "earlybird" for $500 off.

Pod #123: Tapping For New Year’s Resolutions That We Have Already Given Up On

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In a recent Time magazine artile Jessica Lamb-Shapiro points out that only 8% of us follow through on our New Year’s resolutions, with most people giving up within a week.

There are lots of reasons for this. We create goals that are too big, we don't create an infrastructure or system that will set us up for success, and we are trying to change old habits with willpower alone.

It is really easy to feel frustrated with our failed attempts at change. In this week's podcast we tap for dealing with the frustration of not following up on our goals and also do some tapping to set you up to start taking action towards your New Year's resolutions.

Think of this as the reset button for your New Year's Resolutions.

Are you tired of failed New Year's Resolutions and setting goals that rapidly fall by the wayside? Ruach Center is designed to help you get clear about your goals, create action steps, and provides over 150 tap-along audios that will help you to take the action necessary to achieve them.

For more information and how to gain access to over 150 tap-along audios and other tools check out the details.