Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #303: EFT For When Others Think Ill Of You

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Recently I made a mistake and I hurt my friend “Dave”. That mistake caused him a lot of trouble.

In addition to being mad at me for making the mistake (which he had every right to be), Dave was also mad at me because he thought I had taken advantage of him. Because I knew him so well, he thought I’d used that knowledge against him to get what I wanted.

It simply wasn't true. I had made a mistake, but I hadn't done anything malicious or intentional.

Dave didn’t give me a chance to explain myself and left thinking I was a selfish, mean person.

This week's audio is the tapping I did after this happened. This is me in real time dealing with my emotions because a friend thought ill of me.

Even if this isn't an issue you are dealing with right now, you might find it instructive to hear me dealing with something in real time, and it just might be useful in future.

There is also a text version of the tapping script below the audio player.

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I'm really frustrated by the fact that someone else thinks ill of me…They think things about me that simply aren't true…And there is nothing I can do about it…Their mind is made up…They are unwilling to listen…They are unwilling to try to understand…I hate it when people think bad things about me…Especially when they're not true…I hate that they are wasting time and energy thinking poorly of me…I hate the fact that they are in a situation where they don't think of me well…Because I want to be liked…I want to be accepted…I want to be appreciated…I want to be seen for who I truly am…I wish I weren’t preoccupied with what someone else thinks…I wish I didn't care…But there is a very human part of me that does care…There's a very human part of me that craves acceptance…I give myself permission to let go of the desire to be accepted by others…I give myself permission to recognize my worth and value isn't determined by others…I give myself permission to know I am not defined by what others think about me…Even though I hate being in this position…I give myself permission to recognize my own worth…I give myself permission to recognize my own value…I give myself permission to know I am more than what others think about me…I recognize the fact it is possible for me to let go of my desire to be loved by all…I give myself permission to know I am not responsible for what other people think and feel about me…Even though there is a part of me that wishes I could change their mind…All that I can do is make good choices in this moment…All that I can do is take responsibility for my choices…All that I can do is strive to be who I truly am… I give myself permission to do exactly that…In this moment and in each successive moment…If I do that I will find my way to being the best that I can be in this moment…That is what I want…That is what I'm going to continue to strive for.

Pod #302: EFT For Resistance to Intentions and Progress

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A few weeks ago in Podcast 299 I shared with you a simple way to use intentions at the beginning of every day as gentle way of taking more positive action throughout the day.

I heard from a number of clients who tried the process and struggled to use it. One described how when she sat down to tap, she completely went blank. Not just for the tapping phrases, but she couldn't remember the type of progress she wanted to achieve.

As unbelievable as it might seem, our system can put up resistance to our progress because on some level it believes it is unsafe for us to change and move forward. If there is a subconscious belief that progress is dangerous, it will do everything in its power to hold us back.

In this audio I demonstrate how to tap when there is a part of us that thinks progress is unsafe. (I have included the text version of the tapping script under the audio player below.)

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It seems really silly that I wouldn't be taking useful action…I've named the goal…But for some reason I'm just not taking action…I know how valuable the change would be…I can feel my system self-sabotaging…But I'm not exactly sure why…In this process I'm open to discovering the resistance…I'm open to releasing that resistance…So I can move forward in a healthy way…I might be worried that it's not safe for me to change…At some point in the past change did not work out well…My system is trying to keep me safe…By avoiding the possible pain that might come with change…In this moment it is safe for me to transform…In this moment it is safe for me to change…In this moment I can move forward happily and healthily as I make this change…It is possible there's a part of me that doesn't believe I'm worthy of change…Other people are allowed to change…Other people are allowed to transform…But not me…For some reason it is not safe for me to move forward in this way…Because there's a part of me that doesn't feel worthy of transformation…There's a part of me that doesn't feel worthy of healing…I am worthy of healing…I am worthy of transformation…I'm worthy of moving forward in a way that is healthy for me…I was made for transformation…There's a part of me that might be afraid…That if I attempt this transformation or make this transformation…That others are going to judge me…Others are going to judge my effort…Others are going to judge what I'm attempting…I recognize the fact that this transformation is about me…It's not about others…It's not about what other people think…It's not about what other people believe…I'm allowed to transform regardless of what other people feel…It is possible that there is a part of me that is afraid…That this transformation won’t live up to what I hope it does…It's only going to be a fraction of my needs…And when I get to the end I will be disappointed…It will feel like a giant waste of time…It will feel like a giant waste of energy…It will feel like a giant waste of effort…Because it didn't live up to my desire…It is very possible that this won’t turn out how I had hoped…That this isn't going to turn out how I planned…But even with that being the case…Regardless of the transformation that comes…It is worth my time and effort to try…The effort that I am putting forth…Is about being successful…It's about being healthy…It's not about meeting a specific goal…My goals and intentions are just guidance…Helping me to experience transformation…I give myself permission to pursue this transformation…Even though the outcome is uncertain…It will be worth the effort regardless of the specific outcome.

Pod #301: EFT for Feeling Stillness and Peace

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Sometimes we tap with the aim of just feeling better, without a clear focus for our tapping. We might feel unsettled or out of sorts, but not in a precise way. From a tapping point of view this can pose a problem because often the best results come when we are very specific about an issue.

When this happens to me, I have a simple way to tap for peace, calm, and tranquility.

Here is a tap-along audio that’s perfect for those times and will help bring you peace. (Full tapping script below the audio player.)

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I recognize the fact that I am not at peace…I have thoughts buzzing in my head…I have tension in my body…I have the distraction of all of the things I need to do…I appreciate the fact that I live in the modern world…And there is busyness…I also acknowledge the modern world is not my enemy…Busyness is not my enemy… But they do make it difficult for me to find peace…They do make it difficult for me to find calm…I give my system permission to release and let go of any tension held in my body…Knowing that whatever information is in that tension is information that I can understand in another way…When that tension melts away…I am fully grounded in my body…I can respond to what I need to respond to…In an easy and effective way…I give myself permission to be fully present in my body…To know that it is safe for me to be fully present in my body…I give myself permission to relax…I give myself permission to be in my body in this moment…I also acknowledge that my mind is buzzing…Filled with ideas and thoughts that are trying to get my attention…Part of me doesn't want to let these go…Because if I let them go I will forget…I know that if something is important…It will come back…It will be fully present in my mind…In this moment I am allowed to be calm…I'm allowed to be still…I'm allowed to be mentally fully present in this moment…As I reach for this stillness…There is no other goal than being still in this moment…I'm not trying to achieve something at this time…Other than letting go…That will allow me to be at peace…That will allow me to be calm…That will allow me to relax and let go…I give myself permission to relax in this moment…And in doing so to be at peace.

Pod #300: EFT For Releasing Unuseful Commitments

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Quit has become a dirty word.

American football coach Vince Lombardi is credited with saying that “Winners never quit and quitters never win!”

Early in the movie “Molly's Game” (based on the life of Molly Bloom) there is a flashback to Molly’s childhood and a session training to be a competitive skier. After hours of training she asks her father (who is also her coach) if she can quit because she is tired. Her father replies that she can quit only after she gives him a synonym for tired. She thinks about it for a moment and says “weak”. Feeling defeated she heads back up the hill to keep training.

There is a deeply ingrained mentality in our culture that honors pushing through, in working hard, in overcoming difficult times.

The problem is that there are many tasks, activities, and commitments that we should quit.

Sometimes the projects we start aren't what we thought they would be, do not give us the returns we expected, take way longer than we planned, or we have just plain outgrown them.

It is OK to let go of commitments that no longer serve us!

More than likely you felt some resistance as you read that last line. If that is the case, this is the perfect tap-along for you (below the audio player you will find a text version of the tap-along audio).

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I don't want to be seen as a quitter…I want my word to mean something…I want my commitments to mean something…I want the people around me to take me seriously when I make a commitment…There is a part of me that is afraid that if I do not follow through on my commitments then I'm going to be seen as a quitter…I'm going to be seen as a quitter by other people…I'm going to see myself as a quitter…I am afraid the moment I let myself out of a commitment I am setting a precedent for the future…In which I allow myself out of all future commitments…I recognize the fact that it is possible for me…To look clearly at the commitments I have made…To make the decision to let go of the commitments that no longer serve me…To let go of the commitments that are no longer helpful for me…To let go of the commitments that are no longer healthy for me…I'm able to do this because I recognize I now have new information about the commitment…I now have new information about myself…I recognize the fact that the commitment is no longer a good fit for me…Letting go of this commitment is not a failing…Letting go of this commitment does not mean that I'm a quitter…Instead I'm making a commitment to using my time, attention, and energy in a way that is so much more productive for me…By letting go of the commitments that no longer serve me…I am creating the space and capacity to make good healthy choices in this moment…Allowing me to commit to the things that serve me…Allowing me to commit to the things that are healthy for me…Allowing me to commit to myself in the best possible way…Letting go of commitments is not quitting…It's choosing a new and better future.

Pod #299: Setting Intentions In The New Year w/ EFT

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The beginning of a new year provides a great opportunity to reset and refocus.

Even though I am not the biggest fan of New Year's resolutions, I have found a way to make a small commitment to tapping each day that is making huge changes in the way that I behave and feel.

In this audio I share with you how I have used tapping for a simple intention at the beginning of my day to create this change.

The reason I love this process so much is because it doesn't require a complicated plan. It simply unfolds right in front of you, day by day.

This recording is of me doing the process to start the new year.

You will also find the tapping script I used below the audio player.

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My intention is to have a more generous spirit…Because when I have a more generous spirit…It helps me to be fully present throughout my day…It helps me to be truly connected to the people around me…It allows me to be the type of person I want to be in the world…There is a part of me that is worried…That if I am too generous…Then I will lose all of my boundaries…That if I'm too generous…People are going to take advantage of me…That if I am too generous…I'm going to lose myself in the service of others…Because I'm simply going to give it all away…My intention for today is to find opportunities to have a more generous spirit in a way that is healthy for me.

My intention is to find my way to more peace and calm…In the middle of a busy life and my very busy day…Because when I tune in and find peace and calm…I am much more aware of my full presence…I am not running on autopilot…I am more grounded in my body…I am worried that if I slow down…I'm not going to get enough done…I'm going to fall behind…I'm going to miss opportunities…I recognize the fact that when I am peaceful…I respond better and end up with what I truly want…My intention for today is to be open to finding my way to moments of peace and calm.

My intention is to be open to new opportunities…To find inspiration and ideas in unexpected places…Because I know that when I am on autopilot…I am missing new opportunities…I am missing out on grace…There is a part of me that is afraid that I will be distracted by new ideas…That I'm going to chase thousands of new ideas…And never actually get anything done…I appreciate the fact that my system is trying to keep me safe in this way…I appreciate the fact that it's trying not to be distracted…But I know that there are answers all around…there are opportunities all around…That are not distractions…But instead will make my life better…My intention is to be open to opportunity and inspiration as it shows up today.