Note: To get 2019 off on the right foot, we’re going to end 2018 and begin the new year with a four-part series on how to make what I call “pro-you choices”. These are choices that are all about taking care of yourself. This is Part 4 of 4. You can find all four parts in the Pro-You Choices Series.

I can’t imagine not being a thoughtful, kind person in the world. I am glad that at least some of the time I am able to respond to other people’s wants, needs, and suffering.

But one of the consequences of being known to be thoughtful is that other people often come for help. In extreme cases, they aren’t looking for help, they just want us to solve their problems.

At some point it can become too much and just because someone we love it having a hard time, it doesn’t mean we are responsible for solving all their problems.

We can be thoughtful, helpful, and caring without taking on everyone’s burdens. In this week’s audio I have a story about how I was able to change the dynamics of a relationship where I had let a boundary down to the point that it was making my life difficult.

There is also a tap-along that will make it easier for you to be the kind and thoughtful person that you are without having to take care of every burden of everyone you know. (A printable tapping script can be found below the audio.)

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I know the people around me struggle…Because everybody struggles…Sometimes I can be helpful to the people around me…Because I don’t want to see them suffer…And I don’t want to see them struggle…And there are also times in which it is not best for me to be helpful…There are times when it is not best for the relationship for me to swoop in and solve the problem…And when that is the case…There is a part of me that feels bad for not being helpful…There’s a part of me that feels bad when I see other people struggle…But I recognize that I am not able to solve everyone’s problems all the time…I can’t be in a situation where I take responsibility for other people’s lives…Even though there’s a part of me that feels like I need to help…I recognize the fact that sometimes that is not useful in the long term…I recognize the fact that is not healthy in the long term…It is possible for me to be responsible to my loved ones without being responsible for my loved ones…It is possible for me to be helpful without helping right away all the time…It is good for me to create boundaries…It is healthy for me to create boundaries…And it is necessary for me to create boundaries…I can be kind…I can be thoughtful…I can be helpful…I can be loving…And not take on the responsibility of everyone else’s problem…There’s a part of me that struggles with finding this balance…It is important that I find the balance…Creating boundaries isn’t being mean…Creating boundaries isn’t thoughtless…Creating boundaries isn’t heartless…Creating healthy boundaries is a necessity for me…I give myself permission to create boundaries…I give myself permission to learn how to create boundaries and to stick to them.

Note: To get 2019 off on the right foot, we’re going to end 2018 and begin the new year with a four-part series on how to make what I call “pro-you choices”. These are choices that are all about taking care of yourself. This is Part 3 of 4. You can find all four parts in the Pro-You Choices Series.

For those of us who are of a thoughtful and caring disposition, it is natural to want to care for others.

The problem comes when we spend so much time taking care of everyone else, we don’t spend the time and attention that we need to take care of our own needs.

The simple truth is: If we don’t put ourselves first, no one else is going to.

This week I have a tap-along audio (with printable tapping script below the audio player) to help to manage the guilt we may feel when we decide to take care of ourselves.

I feel guilty whenever I think about taking care of myself…I feel selfish…I feel mean…When I take care of myself…I feel like I am letting other people down…Because so many people are dependent upon me…The people around me are struggling…The people around me are in pain…I don’t want them to struggle…I don’t want them to be in pain…I don’t want them to have difficult times…But if I spend all of my time taking care of everyone else… Then I’m not going to be healthy…I’m not going to be safe…I’m not going to be in a good position moving forward…I need to spend time taking care of myself…Because if I don’t take care of myself…No one else will do it for me…Taking care of myself is my responsibility…Taking care of myself is something I must do…Taking care of myself is important for the short and long term…If I don’t take care of myself…It will be impossible for me to take care of anyone else…If I don’t take care of myself…No one else will do it for me…I must take care of myself…I know that’s not just a suggestion…It is an imperative…And when I take the time to take care of myself…I am happier…I am healthier…I am safer…When I am healthier…The world is a better place…When I am healthier…It is easier for me to respond to the needs of others…When I am healthy or I make better choices…I give myself permission to take care of myself…And I give myself permission to not feel guilty about that…I am worthy of taking care of myself…I give myself permission to take care of myself.

Note: To get 2019 off on the right foot, we’re going to end 2018 and begin the new year with a four-part series on how to make what I call “pro-you choices”. These are choices that are all about taking care of yourself. This is Part 2 of 4. You can find all four parts in the Pro-You Choices Series.

I find that “I don’t know!” is one of the hardest phrases to say.

When I say it, it is easy for me to feel disempowered, incompetent, and less than.

In a recent interview, actor and director John Krasinski talked about how the most powerful thing you can say is that you don’t know.

It is an interesting idea. When we are able to acknowledge that we don’t fully understand what we are supposed to do or how to do it, we are actually putting ourselves in a place of power. Our honesty means we can make the best possible choice, without fooling others or ourselves.

This week I have a tap-along audio (with printable script below the player) that will help you to be comfortable with not knowing.

Support the podcast!

Subscribe in: Apple | Android | Spotify

There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to look foolish…There’s a part of me that always wants to look like I am competent…There is part of me that always wants to look knowledgeable…There is a part of me that wants to look like I’m trustworthy…I want other people depend on me…I want other people to believe in me…I want other people to think I’m capable…I want other people to be able to trust me…I am afraid that if I say I don’t know…Other people won’t trust me…Other people will look down on me…Other people won’t think I am capable of being helpful…And they may judge me…But the truth is that it is useful for me to say I don’t know…Then everybody knows where they stand…People know what they can expect of me…I know what I can expect of myself…By being honest in this way…I will create the greatest success…I will be able to move forward in the most natural way…And I will be able to get the help that I need…Getting help means I will be successful faster…Because I’m not dependent upon myself to figure it all out on my own…I give myself permission not to know everything…I give myself permission to admit to others when I don’t know…Being honest about what I don’t know serves me and serves everyone else.