Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #333: The Tapping I Do To Start Each Day

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Recently I have been asked by a number of my clients about what type of daily tapping I do.

My own tapping falls into three main categories:

The first is a practical approach where I do some tapping for every task on my to-do list. I covered this process back in Bonus Pod #46

Second, when I have a clear idea of the exact issue, emotion, or limiting belief I'm experiencing, I use one of the 13 tools that can be found in Advanced Anger Management. As I have stated before, the book isn't really about anger, but working towards good emotional health. Download a free copy via the link above.

Third, every morning, right after I have made my first cup of coffee, I spend some time tapping using the Set-Up Phrase Generator. The Set-Up Phrase Generator is a little piece of software that you can access free of charge from any web browser.

Access the Set-Up Phrase Generator here: http://EFTSetupPhraseGenerator.com/

BUT before you do that, listen to this week's audio where I explain how it works, why I use it and hear me tap in real time, and then you will be ready to use it most effectively for your issues.

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Pod #332: Sharing Generational Healing with EFT

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Back in podcast 292 I chatted with Mark Wolynn about how we are starting to recognize the way that trauma can be passed on from one generation to the next through our genes.

Recognizing that some of our issues have nothing to do with our own experience is useful because it offers us a new way to approach the work we are doing with tapping. In addition to the genetic component of trauma, our emotional understanding of our issues is also influenced by the generations before us.

I have seen this time and again with my clients where they feel it is unsafe for them to heal these family patterns. The thinking goes like this: the trauma we are feeling unites our family and if we choose to heal this trauma, then we are abandoning our family. Healing our trauma means risking breaking an important family connection.

This week we look at how we understand generational trauma and the sense of family connection it creates, helping us to recognize when we are sabotaging our healing.

I have also included a tap-along audio that will help you to recognize that it's possible to heal these generational issues AND do honor to your family.

As always, there is a printable version of the tapping script below the audio player.

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I recognize the fact that some of the issues I am facing are related to issues that generations before me have faced…And because these issues have been around for so long…There's a part of me that is identifying with this problem…There's a part of my family that's taken its identity in this problem…I am worried that if I take the time to truly heal this…I will disconnect myself from my family…And I'm going to say I'm better than my family…That I'm going to be leaving them and this identity behind…Because they are stuck in this and I no longer am…But I choose to recognize the fact that healing my wounds does not disconnect me from my family…Many who have come before me have worked hard to give me a chance at a better life…So I don't have to stay in this place…Healing these issues is not disrespecting my family…Healing these issues is doing honor to my family…I'm acknowledging what they have done to put me in this position…To do this healing today…I recognize the fact that this healing isn't only about me…It's also about all those who came before me…I choose to take this opportunity to pass this healing back and share it over the generations…I recognize the fact that this is an opportunity for me to heal myself…I recognize this is an opportunity to share that healing with others…My healing is an opportunity to share with all those who came before me.

Pod #331: EFT For The Many Faces Of Grief

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It makes sense that we would feel grief and sadness after the death of a loved one.

But this is not the only time that we experience grief. The emotion of grief is our system telling us that we are missing or disconnected from something or someone that is important to us.

This could be the end of a relationship, a missed opportunity, or when we realize that we have wasted valuable time by not acting sooner. These experiences create genuine grief, but because our definition of grief may be too narrow, we can miss the opportunity to tap for it.

An emotion that goes unaddressed can simmer beneath the surface and cause us problems later on in life.

This week we are going to tap for the shades of grief we experience that aren't related to death and dying. As always, below the audio player is a script that you can print out and use anywhere.

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I don't like feeling grief…I don't like feeling sadness…Because those emotions are about being in contact with…And focusing on…And dwelling on something I am missing…I'm paying attention to something lost…I don't like being reminded of loss…I hate seeing opportunities that I was hoping for have passed me by…I'm hurt by the time I have lost because I didn't take action sooner…The sadness that I am feeling is simply pointing out that loss…It is simply pointing out what has been missed…And because of the nature of sadness…It is often lurking in the background…And because it is not the primary emotion that I feel…I miss it…In this moment I give the sadness permission to have full voice…In this moment I give the sadness permission to be heard…It is good to acknowledge what is lost…It is good to acknowledge what I'm no longer connected to…It is good to acknowledge the things that have been missed…But I don't have to stay stuck in what is missing…I don't have to stay stuck in that longing…I don't have to stay stuck in the sadness…I give myself permission to hear the sadness and let it go…I give myself permission to experience the grief and release it…Even though things have been lost…Even though opportunities have been missed…Even though time has been wasted…I can move forward in a healthy way…I can remember what is lost without being stuck in this sadness…I can say that what is lost is still important and let go of the grief…I don't have to stay in the grief in order to learn from the past…I don't have to stay in the grief to say what is lost is important…The sadness has done its job…I can be in this moment and be fully present…Knowing what is important to me…And not be stuck in the sadness.

Pod #330: If everything is getting better, why do I feel worse?

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Recently I was talking with one of my clients. She has been doing an amazing amount of transformational work in her life. Personally, professionally, and emotionally everything was better, but she was struggling.

The basic thrust of our conversation was “I know everything in my life is getting better, so why do I feel worse?”

On the surface this might seem like an odd situation, but it happens a lot more than you would think.

Much of it comes down to the fact that there are different types of problems and not all of those problems are created equally. We always start with the most pressing problem first. For example, if you think terms of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, we will worry about food and shelter before we worry about living a life of purpose or a fulfilling career.

The same is true when we are dealing with our emotional life. We start with the most pressing needs, such as feeling safe in the world, and then we move on to higher level needs, such as issues of self-esteem and self-worth.

As we move up the levels of needs, the more abstract the problems become. There are practical steps towards the basic need of trying to make myself feel safe, whereas the path to loving and accepting myself is less clear.

Because this is the case, as we move up (as in my client's case where her life is getting better), the issues become more abstract and we have less control, so it can feel like things are getting worse.

This week I have for you a deeper dive into these concepts, which will make it easier for you to recognize when you are experiencing this in your own life. I have also included a tap-along to help you to move through the feeling that your life is getting worse, when in truth it is improving.

As always, I have included a printable tapping script below the audio player.

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I recognize the fact that I am in process…I recognize the fact that this is an evolution…As I do my work…I am getting better…I'm getting healthier..But because of the nature of healing…It is very easy for me to miss the progress that I am making…When I heal I stop noticing the issue that I just healed…My focus goes to what is unhealed…I don't get the opportunity celebrate what I have just healed…Because my system has already moved on to the next issue requiring my focus and transformation…And because of this…I can actually feel worse…Because the types of emotions I am tuning into are different…These emotions cut more sharply…They are now emotions that cut deeper…They are no longer practical problems with obvious solutions…They are deep, emotional problems…And these types of problems weigh on me in a different way…I give myself permission to know that it is OK to feel like my issues are getting worse right now…But at the same time…I actually know that it is not getting worse…I am getting better… Even though my emotions are focusing on what is still wrong…I give myself permission to trust myself…I give myself permission to trust the process…To know that even though it feels bad in this moment…My life really is improving…I am moving forward…And mistakenly believing that it is actually getting worse…Is a perfectly natural part of the process…I recognize that it is OK to feel this way…As I keep moving forward…As I keep healing…As I keep transforming my life.

Pod #329: EFT For Jealousy Of Other People’s Success

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Jealousy is such corrosive emotion.

It makes us think ill of others. It makes us feel bad for ourselves. I don't know about you, but it leads me to make poor and rash decisions.

The worst part of jealousy is feeling the emotion about someone else, but having to deal with its negative consequences.

Recently, I was at a professional training event and was so overcome with jealousy of the person presenting on stage that I could barely think straight.

I was able to do some tapping in the moment to clear my head, but I realized that it was a big enough issue that I needed to deal with it in a deeper way. Over the next few weeks I spent some time every single day tapping for jealousy and all the other feelings around it.

This week's tap-along audio is one of those tapping sessions, with the tapping script also available in a text version.

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I recognize the fact that I am capable of jealousy…That sometimes I am consumed by the emotion of jealousy…When I see someone with what I want…There's a part of me that thinks it is not fair…They get to have what they want…And I don't…They are getting something that I feel I deserve…But do not have…The feeling of jealousy comes from a place of wanting more for myself…It comes from wanting better for myself…My jealousy has very little to do with the person I am jealous of…It has to do with how I see myself…About how I understand my own experience…About how I believe people notice or don't notice me…I give myself permission to know…That even though jealousy is an emotion I don't want to feel…It is just a part of me fighting for better in my own life…But it is showing up in a way that isn't useful…It is showing up in a way that isn't helpful…And it feels so uncomfortable…Because on top of the jealousy…I also feel embarrassed about feeling jealous…I see jealousy is a sign of weakness…I see jealousy is a sign of pettiness…I see jealousy as me not seeing who I truly am…And not seeing what I am truly worth…But as much as I hate feeling jealous…I choose to know that I don't have to be embarrassed about feeling that way…The jealousy is just information about me…It is information about my experience…It is lets me know that I still need to work on my own self-esteem…It is information about my understanding of my own self-worth…And as much as I hate feeling jealous…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…I thank my experience for pointing out the areas where I need to grow…I can release my embarrassment because I appreciate the information that is coming from the jealousy…I can release my jealousy because I now know what I need to work on…And as much as I hate feeling jealous…I can appreciate that a part of me wants better for myself…That a part of me wants fairness and justice for myself.