Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #329: EFT For Jealousy Of Other People’s Success

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Jealousy is such corrosive emotion.

It makes us think ill of others. It makes us feel bad for ourselves. I don't know about you, but it leads me to make poor and rash decisions.

The worst part of jealousy is feeling the emotion about someone else, but having to deal with its negative consequences.

Recently, I was at a professional training event and was so overcome with jealousy of the person presenting on stage that I could barely think straight.

I was able to do some tapping in the moment to clear my head, but I realized that it was a big enough issue that I needed to deal with it in a deeper way. Over the next few weeks I spent some time every single day tapping for jealousy and all the other feelings around it.

This week's tap-along audio is one of those tapping sessions, with the tapping script also available in a text version.

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I recognize the fact that I am capable of jealousy…That sometimes I am consumed by the emotion of jealousy…When I see someone with what I want…There's a part of me that thinks it is not fair…They get to have what they want…And I don't…They are getting something that I feel I deserve…But do not have…The feeling of jealousy comes from a place of wanting more for myself…It comes from wanting better for myself…My jealousy has very little to do with the person I am jealous of…It has to do with how I see myself…About how I understand my own experience…About how I believe people notice or don't notice me…I give myself permission to know…That even though jealousy is an emotion I don't want to feel…It is just a part of me fighting for better in my own life…But it is showing up in a way that isn't useful…It is showing up in a way that isn't helpful…And it feels so uncomfortable…Because on top of the jealousy…I also feel embarrassed about feeling jealous…I see jealousy is a sign of weakness…I see jealousy is a sign of pettiness…I see jealousy as me not seeing who I truly am…And not seeing what I am truly worth…But as much as I hate feeling jealous…I choose to know that I don't have to be embarrassed about feeling that way…The jealousy is just information about me…It is information about my experience…It is lets me know that I still need to work on my own self-esteem…It is information about my understanding of my own self-worth…And as much as I hate feeling jealous…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…I thank my experience for pointing out the areas where I need to grow…I can release my embarrassment because I appreciate the information that is coming from the jealousy…I can release my jealousy because I now know what I need to work on…And as much as I hate feeling jealous…I can appreciate that a part of me wants better for myself…That a part of me wants fairness and justice for myself.

Pod #328: How And Why Your Past Experience Impairs Your Ability To Heal

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One of the reasons that the human species survives is because of our innate ability to learn. Every time we experience something new, we have the opportunity to learn how the world works and how our fellow humans react to a certain set of circumstances.

With each new experience, we are able to make subconscious comparisons with prior experiences. New information means we are able to update our understanding of ourselves and of the world we inhabit.

There are two problems with the way that we learn. First, we sometimes learn the wrong lesson. Because we may not fully understand a situation, we draw inaccurate conclusions. Second, at times we are presented with new information that conflicts with our old lessons and beliefs, so we choose (consciously or unconsciously) to ignore the new information.

This conflict means that sometimes not only do we not accept new information about ourselves and the world, but it actually gets in the way of our transformation.

In this week's podcast I share with you:

  • How we build our understanding of who we are and how the world works
  • The pitfalls that this creates in the moment as we take action
  • How this slows or halts our ability to heal
  • How you can tap with this knowledge so you are no longer hindering your progress

Below the audio player I have included a tapping script for the tapping that we do at the end of the audio. I encourage you to listen to the full audio before tapping to the script because an understanding of the context for the tapping will make the tapping itself more powerful.

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I have picked up a belief about myself or the world that is not useful…It actually makes my life harder day to day…And as I acknowledge this is no longer useful…I'm not blaming myself for picking up this tool…I am not blaming myself for picking up this belief…When I picked up this belief…I thought it was something that I thought would truly serve me…I'm also not blaming the people who gave me this belief…They were doing the best that they could when they were teaching me…I also do not blame them because they might not have realized they were teaching me in that moment…They were doing the best they could and I was learning lessons from that…I give myself permission to let go of this belief…Because it is a tool that is no longer useful to me…I now recognize a more useful way to navigate the world…I now recognize more useful way to respond to my problems…At some point in the future…If need this belief again…I'm allowed to pick it up again…But if I choose to pick it back up…I will do so consciously because it is useful…It's also possible that I will never pick up this belief again…I acknowledge that the beliefs about myself…And about the world…Are picked up with all good intention…But they are no longer useful now…When I picked them up in the past…I was doing the best that I could…Letting go of them now is the best that I can do right now…It is okay for me to let go of these experiences…It is safe for me to let go of these beliefs…What is most important is not my past…But instead what I choose to believe right now…I give myself permission to believe what is useful right now.

Pod #327: EFT for Believing In Yourself

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It can be difficult to remain focused on doing the work to improve your life. Sometimes you are pushing forward without seeing any progress. Sometimes the goal seem so far away that it is impossible. AND sometimes we just feel alone on the journey.

When we are trying to improve our lives it's common to feel that the people around us are unwilling to do the same, and may even be resistant to the  fact that we are changing and growing our own. This can make the work of transformation to feel lonely.

This week I have words of encouragement to keep you going, even when you feel alone. Because the truth is you are not alone. It might feel like it, but there are many thousands of people who are on healing journeys, just like you.

This week we tap to know that we aren't alone AND that the work we are doing in our own lives makes it easier for others, and the work others are doing is clearing a path for us.

(Below the audio player you will also find a text version of the tapping script.)

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Sometimes I feel like I'm alone…The people around me don't understand the work that I'm doing…They do not understand the healing tools that I'm using…To transform and heal myself…Some of them are not interested in change at all…When I am surrounded by people who do not care…It's easy to lose my motivation…Because I feel like I'm alone…I feel like no one understands me…I feel like I'm the only one who cares…But even if I'm in a situation where the people closest to me don't care…I know that I am not alone…There are people all over the world working to heal and transform themselves…There are people all over the world trying to make the world a better place for themselves and for others…Thousands of others are tapping along to these exact same words…Thousands of people are looking for a similar type of transformation…Even if I don't know them personally…We are on this journey together…The effort that they are putting in to make the world a better place is also impacting my world…My tapping and energy is impacting their lives as well…Even when I feel alone…I know that I'm not alone on this journey…I give myself permission to keep putting forth the effort…And I choose to keep trying…Knowing that there are others who want me to be successful…Even if I don't know them personally…Each small amount of effort that I put in contributes to the greater good…I trust that my efforts are useful…And I know that I'm not alone in this work of transformation and healing.

Pod #326: EFT For When Others Judge Our Success (Productivity Series: 7 of 7)

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This is Part 7 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we have been tapping for a specific emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

Even when we know the right action to take, it can be difficult to do because we are so good at sabotaging ourselves. The Take Action Now program was created to eliminate self-sabotaging behavior so you can take decisive action towards achieving your goals. Full details here.

Being successful is hard enough. It becomes even harder when we are worried about others judging our success.

Others may judge our dreams as being foolish. They may be jealous when they see us chasing our dreams and being successful. They may even feel that we are judging them because they aren't experiencing the same success as we are enjoying.

Worrying about these types of judgments makes us less likely to take action because being judged isn't any fun.

In this week's tap-along (with a printable tapping script below audio player) we tap for taking action in spite of what others might think of our success.

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Other people notice the action I am taking…Other people notice the success that I'm having…Because they notice what I am doing…They are judging and evaluating my progress…They are judging and evaluating my success…I don't like being judged…There's a part of me that just wants to belong and be like everyone else…There's a part of me that's uncomfortable and afraid of their judgment…And of the rational and irrational consequences of that judgment…Sometimes people judge me because they think my dreams and goals are foolish…Sometimes people judge me because they're jealous of my success…Sometimes people judge me simply because I'm willing to follow my dreams…And sometimes people judge me because they think I am judging them…They are worried that my success makes me feel like I am better than they are…But none of these judgments is about me…They are not about my success…Even though that is how it feels…In reality these judgments are about the people who are judging me…They don't feel good about where they are…They don't appreciate the progress they are making in their own lives…Because I'm doing something they are not…They feel like my progress is about them…Because it might be pointing out the things they have not yet achieved yet…When I experience and feel this judgment…It makes me reluctant to take action…Because I don't want to be judged in this way…I give myself permission to be comfortable with my success…Knowing that it doesn't matter what others may think and feel about my success…Because my success is not me…My success is about my action…My success is about how I move forward…They're allowed to think whatever they want…And if they want to waste time thinking about me…They're allowed to do exactly that…But I choose to focus on my action…I choose to focus on how I'm going to move towards my goals…I'm going to let go of my concerns…Because this is about me…And my progress…And I need to put myself first.

Pod #325: EFT For Recognizing Your Success (Productivity Series: 6 of 7)

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This is Part 6 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

Even when we know the right action to take, it can be difficult to do because we are so good at sabotaging ourselves. The Take Action Now program was created to eliminate self-sabotaging behavior so you can take decisive action towards achieving your goals. Full details here.

One of the difficulties with being successful is that success is not an all-or-nothing proposition. Success usually comes in stages as part of a process. When we are doing the work and taking action we are often too close to what is going on to see the progress we are making.

This can be discouraging and slow down our progress because it doesn't feel like the effort we are putting in is paying off.

This week's tap-along audio (and printable script below the player) will help you to recognize the progress you are making and to regain your momentum.

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I recognize that my progress is incremental…I recognize my progress is not happening all at once…And because that is the case…It's really easy for me to miss my own progress…It's really easy for me to not recognize how I am moving forward…When I do not recognize my own progress…It's so easy for me to feel discouraged…It's easy for me to lose momentum…Because it doesn't feel like I'm moving forward…Since it doesn't feel like I'm moving forward…I don't want to waste my time or energy on something unsuccessful…I give myself permission to recognize the new normal…As being something that is different than the old normal…I give myself permission to recognize that progress is happening…Even if it is only happening in small ways…It is happening…I am moving forward…And I am making progress…I can see that progress when I take a step back…And reminding myself of my progress will help me to keep moving forward…It will help me maintain my momentum…It's a process…Sometimes I wish it wasn't always a process…But I recognize that is how success happens…I give myself permission to trust the process…And to trust that my action are having an effect…I am open to the process…I'm open to being more aware of the progress I am making…I give myself permission to keep taking action…Even when it doesn't feel like I'm moving forward…Because I am moving forward towards success.