Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #281: EFT For Dread

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Tapping for negative past experiences is often the easiest kind of tapping because we know the details of the past experience. While tapping we have the opportunity to state exactly what happened, how we interpret those events, how we felt about them back then, and how we feel now.

No matter how long we have to tap to find relief, the tapping itself is straightforward.

Tapping for the emotion of dread can be much less straightforward. Dread is a worry about the future and, since the future is unknown, it is much harder to find specific details to tap for.

Here is a tap-along audio and tapping script to help you to tap for dread. I recorded the audio while I was in the grip of feeling dread myself, so you have the opportunity to experience the way I tap when dealing with an issue firsthand.

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There is a deep feeling of dread…That is encompassing my entire body…Because it is dread there is no specific focal point…There's no specific place that lives in my body…There is no epicenter to the pain…Even when I have a sense with the dread is and what it is about I don't know what that is in detail…Which makes tapping for this emotion really hard…I give myself permission to know that it is okay to tap…It is effective to tap…Even when I don't know exactly what I'm focusing on…Because of what is going on around me and because of the things outside of my control…My system is feeling a sense of dread…It's feeling a sense of hopelessness…Things are bad…Or are going to continue to be bad…Or are going to get worse…I appreciate the fact of my system is pointing this out…I am fully aware of what is going wrong…I am fully aware of what might go wrong…My system has done its job…I give the dread permission to release…Because I am aware of what it is trying to point out…Letting go of the dread is not saying the current situation is okay…Letting go of the dread is not me giving up my power to take action…Letting go of the dread he's not giving up…Instead by releasing the dread it puts me in a position to take action…It puts me in a position to move forward…It allows me to regain my control…Not control over everything…But control over me…Control over the small actions I can take…Control over the kindness that I can share…Control over being able to be present in this moment…Not ignoring what is going on…But instead not being debilitated by what is going on…Even when it feels hopeless…Even when it feels overwhelming…I give myself permission to allow myself to move forward…In This Moment, being a positive agent of change…That does not mean it is easy…That does not mean it is fun…That does not mean it is pain-free…It means that I am in a situation where I can control this moment in controlling how I respond…I am glad my system is recognizing things that are troubling…I appreciate my systems pointing out things that are difficult for my system to overcome the dread has done its job…It can release…It can let go…So I can move forward.

Pod #275: EFT For Grief

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Unfortunately, death is an unfortunate fact of life. Even with the passing of a loved one is expected it is an emotionally difficult experience.

When we are facing the emotions that come after the death of a loved one, the goal is not to eliminate all of our emotion. Sadness is appropriate. Sadness is healthy. Instead we can tap to make sure that we are have proportional well informed emotions.

The tap-along audio and script that you can find below is perfect any time you are feeling the pain of the death of a loved one. It could be right when it happened, on the anniversary of their death, or on a random day that you are reminded of them.

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Having a loved one die hurts…I am overcome with sadness…Because I'm never again going to get a chance again to spend time with this person I loved…I won't get to ask them for advice…I won't get to share a joke…I won't get to cry alongside them…Those moments are gone…Because of that I hurt deeply…The hurt that I am feeling is just my system telling me that I miss someone who is really important…I want my system to know that I am completely aware of that fact…I am aware of the loss…I am aware of the disconnection…I give my system permission to feel that sadness…I'm not running away from this sadness…I'm not avoiding the sadness…It is simply my experience in this moment…But I also recognize the fact…Then I don't have to stay in that loss…It's not the only part of this experience…How lucky am I to have had this person in my life…I know my life is better because of their presents in it…I know my life is richer because of that experience…And I appreciate deeply the fact that I knew them…Even though I miss them…I recognize the fact that this feeling isn't going to last forever…That this sadness isn't going to last forever…That this pain isn't going to last forever…Even though in this moment it feels like it will…In this moment I'm allowed to feel grief…I don't have to fight it…I give myself permission to know it's not my total experience…This experience is more than the grief…I'm allowed to appreciate and I'm allowed to celebrate period I'm allowed to honor this friendship…They will be missed…I will feel the sadness of their loss again because they are loved…I don't have to feel sadness to honor the friendship…Feeling sadness is one of the ways to honor the friendship…I give myself permission to honor it in so many other ways…I am so lucky they were in my life…Remembering that is so much more important than the sadness of their loss…This sadness will pass…This grief will pass…But my connection to them will remain forever.

Pod #271: Tapping To Boost Creativity

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Embarking on a creative endeavor, whether for our personal or professional lives, can feel daunting.

We struggle with creativity because:

  • We want the ideas to emerge fully formed
  • We are worried that our efforts will be judged harshly by others
  • We are concerned about wasting time and not coming up with anything good
  • We don't know where to start so it feels like a waste of time and energy even to try

Because we don't want the process to go badly, we simply don't start (think of staring at a blank Word document and being taunted by that blinking cursor!).

This tap-along audio (with script below) will help you to clear the emotional blocks holding you back from creative endeavours. Take a few moments to tap through this audio (or script) before brainstorming or working on a task that requires creativity and you will find your flow much more easily.

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There is a part of me that wants to do this task successfully..But there is also a part of me feeling resistance…There's a part of me avoiding taking action…It is doing this to keep me safe…It is doing this to avoid danger…On the surface I know how silly that sounds…Being creative is not dangerous…But this part of me is worried…It is worried that I will waste my time…It is worried that I won’t come up with good ideas…It is worried that others will judge my ideas…It is worried that whatever I come up with isn't going to be good enough…This is going to be a giant waste of time and effort…I appreciate this worry…Because worry comes with the creative process…The creative process is uncertain…The creative process is full of unknowns…The creative process is full of bad ideas…The creative process is full of half ideas…I don't want to waste my time with those…I know what it feels like to get this right…I know what it feels like to have this completed…But that feels so far away…That feels so impossible in this moment…I give myself permission to recognize the fact that creativity is a process…Ideas are not going to spring from my head fully formed…It will take a little time…It will take a little effort…For me to find my way to the ideas that work for me…No one has to see the ideas that I come up with first…Unless I decide to share them…It's OK if they are half ideas…It's OK if they are incomplete ideas…It's even OK if they are bad ideas…Because no one is ever going to see them unless I decide to share them…So the process is safe…It doesn't have to be perfect…Many of the ideas I come up with might be seeds of much better ideas…I might not have those much better ideas right away…But I know spending time with the process will lead to what I need…It is OK if it takes time…It is OK if it slowly unfolds…It is even OK for me to spend time on this problem right now and not come up with a useful answer…There will be times when the creative process will involve me working through the least useful ideas first…That's OK…Because that is the process…I give myself permission to be easy with myself as I give myself the space to come up with ideas that are useful…I give myself permission to trust myself in this process…Knowing that good and useful ideas will come…If I give myself the space and time that I need…I will come up with ideas that are so good that they surprise even me.

Pod #262: EFT For Encouragement

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My clients constantly tell me, “I know I should be tapping, but I don't want to spend time stuck in yukky negative emotions.”

I can sympathize. Connecting with and feeling our negative emotions isn’t much fun. Even though tapping is a powerful tool to shift them, it makes sense that we avoid what is uncomfortable.

This week I have a tap-along audio filled with positive affirmations. I recommend tapping along at the beginning of your day, before tackling a difficult task, or any time you just need a pick-me-up.

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I am brimming with energy.
I am overflowing with joy.
I possess everything necessary to be successful.
Creative energy surges through me.
Today I will find new and brilliant ideas.
I abandon my old habits and pick up new habits that serve my health and my wellbeing.
My efforts are being supported by the universe.
My dreams are coming true before my eyes.
Happiness is my birthright.
I feel joy and contentment.
By allowing myself to be happy, I inspire others to be happy as well.
I look at the world around me and smile with a deep feeling joy.
My heart is overflowing with love.
I expect to be successful because success is my natural state.
I feel powerful, capable, confident, and energetic.
I am a solution focused problem solver.
I am unique. It feels good being alive and being me.
I act from a place of personal strength.
I find deep inner peace with who I am.
Every cell in my body is made for energy and for health.
I pay attention and listen to what my body needs.
I am a peacemaker wherever I go.
I am focused and engaged with the task at hand.
I am grateful for this moment.
I observe my emotions without getting attached to them.
Every day I am more and more at ease.
I draw from my inner strength.
I trust myself.
Today will be a gorgeous day to remember.
I show compassion and I show love.
I choose to see the light that I am to this world.

Pod #258: EFT For Feeling Dissatisfied With Progress Being Made

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There is an odd phenomenon that happens when we make progress. Even though we are working towards our goals, there is a part of us feels dissatisfied with the progress. This can even happen when we have reached our goals. There is a part that still wants to pick away and criticize what we are doing.

This happens because change feels scary, even if that fear exists only on the subconscious level. Change means we are doing something new, which is unpredictable, and the subconscious often reads this as dangerous.

That explains why we shortcircuit our progress, undercut our actions, and sometimes even stop ourselves from taking any action at all.

This week I have for you a simple tap-along that will help to quiet the subconscious when it is dissatisfied with progress, which will help you to take more action.

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I know what I want…I know what actions I want to take…I know the goals I want to achieve…Intellectually I can see very clearly how taking these actions is best for me…Achieving these goals is best for me…But there is a part of me that is concerned…There is a part of me that is worried…It is afraid of what will come next…Even though what I have in this moment is far from perfect…Even though there is some pain in this moment…What I'm experiencing right now is predictable…What I'm experiencing right now is known…Because of that fact it is manageable…It is far from perfect…But I know what is coming and I know how to respond to it…The part of me that wants predictable is just trying to keep me safe…It is worried that unpredictable is unsafe…In order to keep me stuck in this spot it is undermining my actions…It is belittling my goals…It's not doing this because there is something wrong with the action…It is not doing this because there is something wrong with my goal…It is only doing this because it doesn't want me to change…It is using the tactic of picking on the choices I am making…It is taking on the tactic of belittling my goals…I recognize the fact that this part is trying to keep me safe…I recognize the fact that it is trying to keep me healthy…But it is working way too hard…It is choosing an unhealthy tactic…It is choosing a tactic that is safe…I give myself permission to know that change is good…I give myself permission to know that I can step into the unknown and still be safe…The actions I am taking are thoughtful…The actions I am taking are deliberate…I give myself permission to transform…Knowing that if the new way isn't right for me…I can always return to the old way…I trust the transformation…I trust myself…I give myself permission to take bold action today…Knowing that I can do this and still be safe.

Pod #257: EFT To Clear Clutter

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When my space is cluttered I find it difficult to work efficiently and the mess becomes an emotional and energetic drag on my day.

Recently I replaced my kitchen table with one that fits the space much better than its predecessor and took the opportunity to organize the piles of clutter that had made it their home. My tiny NYC apartment feels much more open and comfortable because that space is cleared.

Sometimes dealing with clutter is about more than setting aside the time to clean up. If you are having a hard time decluttering your space, it’s likely that there is an emotional component at play preventing you from taking action.

In this week's podcast I have for you my favorite technique for clearing out clutter and a tap-along to help you get started.

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I recognize the fact that there is a huge amount of clutter that I need to deal with…It feels so overwhelming…It feels like it's never going to get done…Who knows what I'm going to find in those piles…I might be worried about what I'm going to discover…I also recognize the fact it feels like it is too much work…It is never actually going to get done…I am going to find myself stuck in the middle of this mess forever…I recognize the fact that if I take this a little at a time…If I clean this up bit by bit…Those small steps will make a huge difference…Every little bit of cleaning I do will move me closer to having this completed…Every bit of cleaning I do creates more space…It creates more movement…It makes my space more comfortable…Even if I only do some of this…It will make a difference in the long run…I give myself permission to allow that to happen…To see this as a gentle process…As I remove each little bit knowing I will feel better…I don't have to do this all at once…If I do this a little at a time I will be done sooner than I could imagine.

Pod #256: EFT For When We Are Judgmental Of Others

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In order to have the type of life that we would like, it is important to make good choices about who and what surrounds us. One of the ways we can do this is to evaluate our circumstances and who we spend our time with.

But sometimes we can take this too far. We move from deciding if something is the right fit for us, to saying something is inherently bad. We decide it is unworthy of our time and attention.

When I judge someone or their beliefs harshly, it is often because I am fearful. On some level I am worried that their beliefs or actions will undermine me.

This week I have a tap-along and script for those times when we become too judgy and critical of those around us. The full tapping script can be found below the player.

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I recognize the fact there are times when I am very judgmental…There are times in which I am very harsh…Where I put other people down and think that they are not good enough…I am really embarrassed by the fact that I do this from time to time…It's not who I want to be…It's not how I want to treat others…When I act this way I feel a great sense of shame…I feel a great sense of disappointment…I am embarrassed…I recognize the fact when I act in this way it's because I feel hurt…Or I feel attacked…Or I feel like I'm in danger…That is why I lash out…That's why there's a part of me trying to push someone else down…So I can feel safe…So I can feel secure…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…I must take responsibility for my thoughts, actions, and emotions…I can be gentle with myself when I make bad choices…Part of me feels ashamed…There is the part that knows that I can be better…The part that knows I was made for better…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…I encourage myself to strive to be all that I can be…To see the true worth of others…Without feeling insecure…To feel safety without feeling like I have to push someone else down…I know I can judge less…I want to be less judgmental…I give myself permission to love myself enough to know I no longer need to put others down…I commit to letting go of judging others.

Pod #255: Regaining Focus With EFT

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Have you ever had one of those days where it is 3:30 in the afternoon and you realize you haven't managed to get anything done?

OR it is one of those days where you move from task to task to task, but somehow never seem to achieve anything?

OR you are just downright foggy and you can't seem to focus at all?

Tapping is the perfect tool to help you to regain your focus, clear out the mental cobwebs, and get stuff done.

This week I have the perfect tapping script to do exactly that!

Below the player you will find a text version of the tapping script that you can print out and take with you.

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I recognize the fact I am really unfocused…My mind is going in a million directions…Without landing on anything specific…Because it is floating from thing to thing to thing…I'm not getting anything done…I almost feel disoriented by it…I am frustrated by how unproductive I am being…This lack of focus is probably trying to keep me safe…It's probably trying to help me recognize that I am not prepared for what is in front of me…That something might go wrong if I do what I need to do…It’s all out of sorts…I appreciate it's trying to keep me safe in this way…At the exact same time I know I need to focus…I know I need clarity…I give myself permission to find that clarity…I give myself permission to take action now…Whatever it is I'm clinging that is out of focus…I give my system permission to let it go…If my system needs the distraction again…It will find its way back to it…I can release it right now…Because in this moment it is not useful…In this moment the lack of focus is not necessary…I imagine energy flowing through my body…Bringing me to sharp attention…Helping me to hone in on what is in front of me…If I do this…I can get my tasks done…I will be able to move on to what I want…I will be able to move on to what is useful…I give myself permission to shake off the lack of focus…To be fully present here.

Pod #254: EFT For The Frustration Of Not Doing EFT

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For me, knowing what to do and not doing it is more frustrating than not knowing what to do.

Not tapping when I know I should can quickly turn into beating myself up for failing to take good care of myself.

This week I have a tap-along audio to help you release the feelings of frustration, failure, and shame that come with not tapping when we know it is best of us.

Yes, I understand the irony of asking you to tap for not tapping, but it works.

Below the audio player is the full tapping script so you can tap along at your own pace if you would like.

I recognize the fact that there is a part of me that doesn't want to tap…That doesn't want to transform…That doesn't want to change the state that I am in…It would much rather stay static…It would much rather stay in one place…Because not doing anything feels so much safer…Even though there is an issue at hand that needs to be tapped for…There is a part of me that is afraid…If I change this I don't know what I'm going to change into…Even though this is uncomfortable…Even though this isn't perfect…It is known…It is predictable…It makes sense that I want to stay in this place…I give my system permission to know it is OK for me to feel stuck…Because staying stuck is a way that I can stay safe…Or at least that's how it feels emotionally…Even though intellectually I know this is not the place that I want to stay…Emotionally I am stuck…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…There is a part of me that is beating myself up because I'm not doing what I can to change and transform myself…I am frustrated with the fact that I am unwilling to reach for the tools at my disposal…I feel like a failure…I am ashamed…Because I'm not doing what I need to do…I'm not doing what is best for me…I give myself permission to make a fresh start…Regardless if I have tapped for it in the past or not…I give myself permission now to make good, useful choices…To help me to move forward in a way that is healthy…Beating myself up for not tapping in the past will not help me in the future…I give myself permission to allow myself to make the choices in a new way…It is safe for me to transform…It is healthy for me to transform…It is good that I'm willing to do the work…I give myself permission to tap for that issue that I've been afraid to approach…Knowing that I don't have to take care of it all right now…Knowing that I don't have to take care of it all at once…But it is an easy process that I am allowed to move through…I give myself permission to start right now…Making good, healthy choices to take care of myself.

Pod #253: EFT To Love Your Body More

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Our bodies are far from perfect.

With each passing moment they are aging and showing those changes.

We are our own worst critics when we look in the mirror. We see each and every blemish. We notice even the slightest change. Even the smallest imperfection can seem like a big deal.

At the exact same time, our bodies are amazing! They are a community of over 37 trillion cells that are working together every moment of the day. There are countless systems and processes working faultlessly to which we give no conscious thought.

Today we are going to tap to appreciate our bodies more. I have found that when I do this type of tapping regularly I am healthier and happier.

Below the audio player you will find a text version of the script.

I recognize the fact that I am connected to my physical body…It is a part of me…And in some ways it is me…There are times when I feel like I am fighting my body…When I feel like my body is fighting me…As if my body is letting me down…Or even intentionally trying to hurt me…Or intentionally trying to make my life more difficult…This feeling of frustration and this feeling of betrayal comes simply from wanting better…It comes from wanting to be healthier…It comes from a place of wanting to be stronger…And wanting to look at my body and love what I see…I appreciate the frustration because it wants something better for me…I appreciate my body's desire for me to be healthier…For me to be stronger…For me to look good…Even inside this frustration I know my body is amazing…It is trillions and trillions of cells working in community…Keeping me healthy moment to moment…Allowing me to experience what is around me…There is so much I don't have to think about…I don't have to think about breathing…I don't have to think about my heart beating…I don't have to think about my food digesting…I just move through the world…I love and appreciate that my body is doing all of this…I know in each moment my body is trying to do what is best for me…I know in each moment my body is trying to do what is healthiest for me…Even if it isn't making the healthiest choice, it is motivated by health and well-being…Sometimes my body is misinformed…I give my body permission to ask for what it needs…I give my system permission to do what it needs to do to keep me healthy…I give my body permission to state its needs…Because it is not some foreign object asking…It is me…I am it…There is no separation between my mind and body…There is no separation between my desires and what my body is doing…They feel disconnected…They feel incongruent…But I give them permission to grow and heal together as one…Because they actually are one…I give my system permission to move forward in a way that is best for all parts of me…I give myself permission to love my body…Because I am my body.

Pod #252: EFT For Starting 2017 With The Right Intentions

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Last week I shared with you a simple process for letting go of the issues, worries, and wounds of 2016.

This week we are going to tap to start 2017 off on the right foot.

I love this particular tapping process because it is a chance for us to turn inward and give all parts of our system the chance to state what they need in the year ahead.

Just like last week, I recommend that you do this process once a day for a week. I am certain you will be amazed by how the process changes each time you do it.

I would like something better…I would like to be successful…I would like to transform..I would like to move forward…I recognize the fact that I get in my own way…that I don't do the actions that I want to do…that I don't stay focused…this is really disappointing…in many cases I know exactly what to do…in many cases I know exactly how I want to do it…and I still don't do it…it is because my system is trying to keep me safe…it is because my system is trying to keep me healthy…it is because my system doesn't want me to be in over my head…it avoids the actions that could get me in trouble…it avoids the steps that are difficult…I appreciate the fact that my system is trying to keep me healthy in this way…I also appreciate the fact my system is working too hard…it is seeing the things that are dangerous and blowing them out of proportion…I give myself permission to create the space to make it safe for me to make difficult choices…to make it safe for me to take new actions…there are times that I do not set goals because I don't want to face failure…my subconscious mind thinks but if I never set a goal then I will never have the opportunity to fail…I appreciate it is trying to keep me safe in this way and I recognize that it's over functioning…it is safe for me to have dreams…it is safe for me to have goals…It is safe for me to pursue something better…

There are times that I do not take action because I don't know how to do the action…or I don't know the exact step to take…my system doesn't want to waste time…my system doesn't want to waste energy…my system doesn't want to waste effort…the way that it does this is it prevents me trying…because if I never try anything new I can't look foolish and stupid…I appreciate that my system is doing this to keeping me safe…but I also recognize the fact every single thing that I can do is something I had to learn how to do…at one point I couldn't do it…everything that I can do I learned how to do…I give myself permission to allow myself to move forward in such a way that I do not need to be perfect the first time

I recognize there are times when I know what to do..I know how to do it..and I still don't take action…because I am afraid of taking that action is not going to be good..It's not that there's a problem with the action…but I am worried about trying…I'm worried others are going to see me and judge me…I'm worried that others are going to dismiss my effort…I'm worried that others are going to think that I'm foolish…I'm worried that others are going to think that I'm wasting my time…I give myself permission to know that these are the actions I should be taking…to know that these are the actions that are right for me…to know that as I move forward creating this path and becoming who I am is best for me.

They're also times that I do not take action because my system fears success…it is worried that if I work hard to be successful I will have to work hard to stay successful…it is worried that others will see me being successful at this and will be expected to be successful all the time…I'm worried that being successful is not going to be enough and I'm going to be let down…I give myself permission to know that even imperfect success is better than this…to know that as I move forward success will build on success…and more progress will come…I give myself and my system permission to know that when I don't take action…it is just my system taking care of me…I know my system it is simply over functioning…I trust myself to take action…I trust myself to be healthy…I trust myself to move forward anyway…even when things do not work out each action brings me closer to the success that I made for.

Pod #250: EFT For A Good Night’s Sleep

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On some level we know that getting a good night’s sleep is important. I know the quality of my sleep impacts how I handle each day. But did you know:

Sleep plays a vital role in good health and well-being throughout your life. Getting enough quality sleep at the right times can help protect your mental health, physical health, quality of life, and safety.

The way you feel while you're awake depends in part on what happens while you're sleeping. During sleep, your body is working to support healthy brain function and maintain your physical health. In children and teens, sleep also helps support growth and development.

The damage from sleep deficiency can occur in an instant (such as a car crash), or it can harm you over time. For example, ongoing sleep deficiency can raise your risk for some chronic health problems. It also can affect how well you think, react, work, learn, and get along with others.

That is a direct quote from Heart, Blood, and Lung Institute at the National Institute of Health which is run by the US Department of Health and Human Services.

Here is an updated version of the tapping I do before I go to bed to ensure a good night’s sleep. I have included both an audio and text version of the script (below).

You can access script in the text area of the TappingQ&A App, which you can download free of charge here: Apple App |Google/Andriod App

As I get ready for bed…I recognize the day has been stressful…I recognize the day has been full…My mind is still racing with all of these thoughts and all of these concerns…I give myself permission to set them aside so that I can now rest…Those worries that I carry with me are just a part of me trying to keep me safe…The worry is simply saying “Keep an eye on this”…”Don't forget that”…”Please be on guard”…I appreciate the fact my system is trying to keep me safe…I appreciate the fact my system is trying to keep me healthy…I'm aware of everything I'm worried about…I am aware of everything I'm stressed about…Because I am aware I do not have to worry…The worry has done its job…The stress has done its job…If I need to worry about these things tomorrow I give myself permission to do exactly that…I don't need that worried right now…I give myself permission and I get my entire system permission to relax and let go…To exhale deeply and to gently rest…Because gentle rest will bring me health…Gentle rest is good for my well-being…I give my system permission to gently let go of all tension and easily get off to sleep…As I sleep tonight I give my system permission to let go of everything that is no longer necessary…Letting go of thoughts, beliefs, and programing that are unnecessary…Today I learned lessons about stories that I have picked up that no longer serve me…Now is the perfect time to let those stories go…As I sleep tonight it is much like a computer that is getting an upgrade to its operating system…This sleep tonight is a chance for me to reset…To wake up with a clean slate…To see the world more clearly after I let go of the beliefs that are no longer useful…I give my system permission to rest deeply knowing that I am safe…I give my system permission to rest gently knowing that I can take this moment of comfort so that when I wake up tomorrow…I will wake up clear headed…I will wake up relaxed…I will wake up refreshed…Ready to take on a new day…But I don't need to think about that now…All I need to notice is that it is time for rest and gentle relaxation…I am made for both of those…I give myself permission to sleep…I give myself permission to rest

Pod #248: EFT For Holiday Stress

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holiday-stress

33% Off Pain Relief Miracle

The holiday season is a time for spending time with friends and family, parties, celebration, and fun.

But because there is soooooo much packed into this time of year there can also be a great deal of additional stress. To help you through the holiday season I have four different tapping scripts for you.

  • Too many activities going on (4m56s)
  • Having to spend time with people you might not choose to spend time with (9m27s)
  • Financial stress because of holiday spending (13m35s)
  • Feeling disconnected from the meaning of the season (18m05s)

Note: The time code after each of the topics above is the place in the audio where that particular tap-along begins. You will also find all four scripts below.

This is a crazy time of year…It feels like there are a million things going on…Parties that friends are throwing…Parties that work is throwing…Pageant that kids are in…It feels as if every time I look at my calendar there is one more thing I have to do…It feels like a marathon…Not a celebration…And because we are going non-stop it's hard to appreciate each event…Some of the events I feel like I have to show up to…And not that I want to be there…Not that I enjoy it…But it is a requirement…Because it's a requirement stacked on top of many other requirements it's anything but fun…It's anything but enjoyable…I even start to resent it…I give myself permission to know that I am allowed to say no…I give myself permission to know I don't actually have to do everything…I give myself permission to know I'm allowed to leave early…I don't have to stay until the bitter end…Just because I was invited doesn't mean I have to say yes…Many of the things that I miss notice no one will even notice…Because everybody is overly busy…I give myself permission to know it is OK for me to take care of myself…It's OK for me to focus on my own family and not feel like I have to do everything…Many of the people who have invited me places will actually enjoy it a lot more if I visit them in January…When nobody feels overwhelmed by the holidays…This holiday season I give myself permission to take care of myself…To say no to the things that are not helpful or healthy for me to do.

I recognize the fact that I'm going to be spending some time with people I don't necessarily like…I'm going to be spending time with them because I've chosen to do that…Because I've decided it's the right thing to do during this holiday season…But by choosing to be there I'm not saying I agree with their world view…I'm not saying that I want to spend lots of time with them…I know that there are going to be moments where they are going to say or do something that really frustrates me…That they are going to do something that drives me crazy…More than likely I will do something that drives them crazy as well…I recognize the fact that I am allowed to navigate this in a way where I'm putting my safety and health first…I give myself permission not to engage…I give myself permission to get up and leave the room when necessary…I give myself permission to know it is OK to leave early if I know I have to…Just because I'm interacting with someone does not mean they have to take up a huge amount of space in my head…Or a huge amount of space in my heart…Sometimes we decide it is best to show up places where there are people we don't get along with…I don't have to do this every day…I don't have to do this all the time…I give myself permission to not worry about it…I give myself permission to let it go the instant I walk out the door…it is OK for me to take care of myself…It is OK for me not to engage…It is OK to let this pass until I have to do it again next year…Hopefully in the next year we will all have evolved and our interaction next time will be better

I recognize I spend a lot more money during the holiday season…On the gifts that I give…The social events that I attend…The food that I bought…All of this can create a great deal of stress…I recognize the fact that much of the spending that I do is on things that I feel like I have to do…That I don't have a choice…That I don't have an option…That it is something I must do or other people will judge me…Because I didn't give the right gifts…Or I didn't give the right amount of gifts…The reality is that most of the gifts that we receive…And most of the gifts we give…Are forgotten about very quickly…Because we already have so much stuff in our lives…We might appreciate it in the moment…But then it just joins everything else that we own…I give myself permission to be much more thoughtful about my buying decisions…To be to be much more thoughtful about the choices I make…Knowing that I can give less more thoughtfully…Still letting the people I love know I love them…I give myself permission to let go of the guilt which is compelling me to buy more…It just wants me to be safe…By acting like everyone else…I give myself permission to know I don't need to do that…I can be thoughtful…I can be deliberate about it…I can give good gifts that I am proud of and spend less…I give myself permission to let go of the social conventions of what we are supposed to give…And give in a way that makes sense to me

I recognize the fact that the holidays will become very commercialized…Recognize the fact the holidays have become super busy…And it is so easy to get caught up in the obligations, it is easy to get caught up in all of the details…This holiday season I give myself permission to carve out the time that is necessary for me…To appreciate the season for what it really means…To connect with my family traditions…To connect with my loved ones…And to connect with my spiritual beliefs…To take time to reflect…To take time to appreciate…To take time to be in the moment…Even if I have to schedule that quiet time on my calendar…I give myself permission to be deliberate and intentional…To let go of the craziness…To let go of the hubbub…And to be fully present to what is going on…To be fully present to what I want to experience…I give myself permission to make the holiday season about the part of it that is important to me…To be present in the way that I want to be present…And not be wrapped up in all of the craziness and the details

Pod #247: EFT For Giving Thanks

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eft-forI have found in my own life that one of the most powerful emotions is gratitude. When we feel a sense of gratitude, even during trying times, it moves us to a disposition of possibility.

It is important to note that this is not some fake, Pollyannish sense of hopefulness. It is possible to have a healthy sense of what is truly going on in our lives and be thankful at the same time.

Here is a very simple tap-along to help you to connect with a healthy and genuine sense of gratitude.

Note: Below the player you will find the tapping script used in this audio. If you prefer tapping scripts to the audio versions of the tap-along, you should check out the Tapping Q & A app for both Android and Apple devices. I am in the process of adding printed tapping scripts from all past tap-along audios to the app. They can be accessed by clicking on the text tab once in the app. Download here: Apple App |Google/Andriod App

I recognize the fact that my life is not perfect…I recognize the fact that the world is not perfect…I recognize the fact there are lots of things that I would change if I could change them…I know the lives around me aren't perfect either…But at the exact same time I appreciate the fact that there are many things that are good…There are many things that are great…Even though my body is not perfect…I am thankful to have a body to move through this world with…Even though my mind is not perfect I am thankful for my creativity…Even though my relationships aren't perfect…I am grateful for my ability to connect with others…Even though my interactions with others aren't perfect…I appreciate the fact that there are others who inspire me…I know the world is not perfect…But I can be thankful the exact same time…I am thankful for life…I'm thankful for choice…I am thankful for opportunity…I am thankful for inspiration…I am thankful for education…I am thankful for healing…I am thankful for transformation…I am thankful that I can learn from others…I am thankful that I can be challenged…I am thankful for a new day…I am thankful for a new opportunity…I am thankful for rest and relaxation…I am thankful for people in my life…I am thankful for challenge…I am thankful…I am thankful for time to be thankful…I am thankful…I am thankful…I am thankful…I am thankful.

Pod 246: Why It Is Important to Be Selfish

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whyitsimportanttobeselfishNote: This week's topic is so important that I have written an article and recorded a podcast. The article shares the same ideas, but is not a transcript of the podcast. This way you can choose the form that works best for you. The tapping script is identical in both the article and podcast.

I think that being selfish gets a really bad rap. Most people think that being selfish is bad and we are taught from a young age to be giving and not selfish.

Personally I don’t believe that being selfish and being giving are opposites.

Instead, I believe that every action I take is a selfish one because it is a self-defining act. Let me give you a few ridiculous examples to help prove my point.

  • Right now as I type this article I am taking a deep breath in, which means I am being selfish. There is no other reason to breathe than to stay alive. That is very selfish.
  • When I choose to love my family I am being selfish because I want to be a loving person. When I choose to love someone (and it is a choice), I am defining myself as a loving person.
  • When I choose to run my practice and help other people, I am being selfish because I am choosing how I use my time. Yes, I am helping people, and that is a great thing, but I am not healing them. That is their choice. I am just a guide in the process. They are being selfish when they choose to heal. I am being selfish when I choose to articulate who I am as a person who guides others on this path.

I know these examples are extremes, but I think they bring out the point because we tend to think of being selfish in such extreme terms.

Not only is it OK to be selfish, it is impossible not to be selfish because every action we make with our conscious choice is a self-defining act.

When I work out to get healthier, I am being selfish because I could be doing other things with my time. When I study a new skill, I am being selfish in order to make myself a different type of person. I am being selfish when I take a nap so I can be more present to my clients later in the afternoon.

It is OK to be selfish.

The reason you are still feeling uncomfortable every time you read that is because it is easy to believe that selfish equals greedy, mean, heartless, and willing to hurt others. We need to be selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we will never be able to take care of others.

We need to be selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves then we aren’t taking care of ourselves.

We need to be selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves we are never going to grow and heal in to who we truly are.

Yes, I know you are still resisting this, despite my repetition. That is OK. Tapping for this might sound like:

I don’t want to be selfish…Because I need to care for other people…There are people who have it so much worse than I do…That I can’t ask for anything more or better…And the things I have…I have squandered…It would be really selfish to ask for more…But I choose to know that selfish means I am making self-defining act…Every choice I make is a selfish act…I can love someone else and be selfish…Because I want to be love…I can care for someone else because they are in need and be selfish…Because I want to be giving…This doesn’t take anything away from those loving acts…This doesn’t mean they are less valuable…It just means that when I am sharing…I am also defining myself…It is OK to want better for myself…Because I can then share with others…It is OK to want more for myself because then I can share more of myself with others…I am worthy of taking care of myself…That is not greedy…That is being healthy….I need to be healthy…I must be healthy…It is OK that I don’t think being selfish is a bad thing…I don’t want to be mean…I don’t want to be greedy…But those are not the same as being selfish…To be selfish is to choose the type of self I want to be.

Pod #243: EFT For When We Are Waiting On Others To Make A Choice

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eft-for-when-you-are-waiting-on-others-to-chooseThere is so much of the world that we do not control. We are surrounded by people, just like us, who are making choices and exercising their free will.

In many ways, we can't escape the impact of other people's choices, especially when we are collaborating with others.

That means we often have to wait on someone else to make a choice so that we can move forward with what we want to do. We can be worried that they will make a choice that we don't like OR we can feel stuck because we can't do anything until they choose.

Here is a simple tap-along to find peace while waiting on others to choose.

A full transcript of the tap-along can be found below the player.

I recognize the fact that one of the reasons I am so frustrated is because I have a clear vision of what I want…it's something I am super excited about and I know how good it's going to be…I know how it's going to make my life better…the problem is I can't do it on my own…I need someone else to say yes…I'm glad I have someone I can work with…I'm glad I have someone I might be able to go through this with because it is going to be so much better because they are at my side…I know it is something that is impossible for me to do on my own…but it is really hard waiting for them to say yes because I want this so badly…if they wanted it like I want it then they already would have said yes…the fact that they haven't said yes feels like a judgement…feels like they're saying I'm not worthy…feels like they might want to do it but with someone else…it feels as if my desires aren't important…it feels as if my wants aren't important…I can understand that other people have choice…I'm glad other people have choice…I only want them to do what is right for them but I also recognize the fact it is hard waiting…I give myself permission to know that them not answering is not a judgement on me…them not answering is not a rejection…them not answering is simply them thinking…making sure it is the right fit for them …I'm glad they're being thoughtful…I can appreciate that they're being deliberate…this is how it fits into their life…it's not a judgment of me…even if this doesn't work out…no matter how great this is…this is not my last opportunity…this is not my last chance…this is not my only chance…I can and will have more opportunities…I give myself permission to be open to knowing that if I keep taking deliberate action good will come

Pod #231: EFT For Facing Past Choices

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EFT For Facing Past Choices 2

My favorite phrase that I hear from my clients when we are in the middle of a session is “this probably has nothing to do with it, but…” and then they share some story that seems unconnected. We usually find that a story coming out of left field like this has everything to do with it.

It never ceases to amaze me how much we carry our past into each moment of our lives and how much that past impacts us. I have spoken to a number clients in the last few weeks who have felt that they weren't worthy of something good in the present because of a poor choice they made in the past.

It is important that we take responsibility for our choices, but that does not mean that we have to remain a prisoner to our choices for all time. Here is a tap-along to help you face those past choices of which you are not proud.

Thank You For Hearing Me

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My walk home from Thanksgiving dinner took about a half an hour. It was a quiet afternoon and the Brooklyn streets were almost deserted.

As I was walking I started singing Sinéad O'Connor's “Thank You For Hearing Me.” I find it to be a such a profound and holy song (and I don't use the word holy lightly).

It would perfect to tap along to today.
[Read more…] about Thank You For Hearing Me

I Don’t Want You Always To Be Impressive

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photo by ArtsieAspie

One of the main reasons we hold ourselves back from taking action is our need to be perfect.

We want everything we do to be great AND we want everyone around us to think we are great too.

Often times if even the smallest thought exists that others aren't going to see us (and everything we do) as great we don't take action.

Most of the time this isn't a conscious choice. We just don't take the action we want to take and just get busy with something else.

I was recently working with “Rachel” on this issue. We did some great tapping on tuning into some of the reasons why she needed everything to be perfect before taking action.

About 45 minutes after our session I received this email:

I did some more tapping after our session, which brought me to a lightbulb moment – I seem to have believed, for God knows how long, that in order for me to be “good enough”, everything I do has to be impressive. That is an impossible standard, of course, but one that quite insidious in my daily thoughts…

So, I now give myself permission to be unimpressive, to make unimpressive art, to have unimpressive ideas and opinions, to have unimpressive dreams and goals, to have an unimpressive plan for the summer, to read unimpressive books… you get the idea.

What a relief! With impressive out of the way it has created real room to breathe.

I couldn't have said it better myself. It is amazing the space we can create for ourselves when we give ourselves permission to be unimpressive!

Take a deep breath and tap on this:

I give myself permission to be unimpressive…I give myself permission to make unimpressive art…I give myself permission to have unimpressive ideas and opinions…I give myself permission to have unimpressive dreams and goals…I give myself permission to read unimpressive books…I give myself permission to [insert your own ideas].

Take another deep breath.

How does that feel? Let me know down in the comment section. I would also love to hear the things you inserted for yourself.

If you would like guidance on how you can use tapping for issues like this one in just a few minutes every day, please check out the Ruach Center.