Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #66: Fear As The Root Of Other Issues w/ Colleen Flanagan

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From my point of view the opposite of love is not hate, but instead fear. Fear is a very powerful force. It is very primal and is going to over ride most other emotions an thoughts. In this interview I talk with Colleen Flanagan about the many different faces of fear and how it can be at the root of many other issues. We spend a great deal of time talking about 5 distinct types of fear that can be used as lens to understand many of our deeper issues.


Colleen Flanagan

Guest: Colleen Flanagan

Contact: web @ EmoRescue.com; facebook @ Colleen Flanagan

About Colleen: An energizing and entertaining emotional wellness coach and speaker, Colleen Flanagan assists fear-ridden people and pets to get FREED of their stress, anxiety and struggle, with a dash of humor and a ton of compassion.

Colleen knows that most of what we don’t want comes from fears of failure, success or not feeling safe. Once those fears are clear, we're free of pain, able to move forward in love, creativity or business, living in hope, joy and peace again.

The author of eight popular wellness field e-books and audio-e-book packages, Colleen’s unique, effective work has been praised by clients on six continents.

The wildly popular business success package, “How to Follow Your Passion, Help Thousands and Make Great Money” featured Colleen as the Animal EFT Business Success Expert (below cover with horse), along with world-renown doctors and EFT Masters.

Why Do I Have To Tap? – How Is EFT Different From Just Thinking About The Issue?

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This article was written while powered by a few glasses of iced coffee bought by Frankie Collins of Seattle, WA . Thanks Frankie!

Is it necessary to have the intention of releasing or letting go a negative thought, feeling, or physical pain while tapping? I am trying to understand why fretting, stewing, or worrying about an issue consciously doesn't dissolve the negative emotions, but tapping while expressing it does.


photo by CARF Brazil

There are three distinct concepts relevant to the questions you are asking. When you understand all three and how they fit together it is easier to understand how Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) works. The three concepts are tuning in, tapping, and intention.

By getting a handle on these, it is easy to understand how the thoughts and emotions related to our past experience affect the present, and how EFT affects them.

We create models of the world in our minds to help us predict how the world works. By having these models we don't have to analyze how everything in our experience works. For example, when a server places a glass of ice water in front of me at a café I assume the water is going to be cold. I have experienced lots of glasses of water. When I see ice cubes present I assume the water is cold. As I bring the glass to my mouth I don't worry about burning my tongue. Because of the models I hold about water, ice, and cafés I don't give the water much thought.

Is it possible that the water is going to be lukewarm? Sure, but that is only disappointing, not dangerous. Is it possible that the water is scalding hot? It is possible, but so highly unlikely that I don’t have to worry about it.

The models I hold of the world save me time. By knowing what not to spent time and energy thinking, I can concentrate on what needs my attention.

But there is a flaw in this system.

It is possible that I hold inaccurate or incomplete models of a situation.

Let’s pretend that as I am writing this, a mouse runs by where I am sitting. Without stopping to think about it I react by I jumping up on the table and screaming like a small child. In this scenario I haven't given what has happened much thought. I just apply the model I have. In this case my model tells me that mice are terrifying and dangerous creatures, I am unsafe, and I need to run for my life.

The model has done its job. My model of mice was applied to the current experience and I acted without having to think. The issue is that mice aren't deadly creatures. In this case the model has not served me.

Now that we understand how models of information work, lets take a look at how we use EFT to affect these models.

If I were to use EFT to work on my fear of mice, the first step would be to into that fear. I could just imagine a mouse is running under my chair and my heart would start to race. When I tune into an issue, I am accessing a model of information. I think, “mouse under my chair,” and the model is applied. This is what we do when we are worrying about an issue. We are just accessing the models we hold but we aren't making any changes to the model itself. When we access that same model in the future the same feelings will result.

The next step in EFT is to start tapping on the issue. We know from the theory of EFT when we are thinking a thought that is not in line with health and wellbeing, the energy system of the body is in some way out of balance or disrupted. Every time we apply an inaccurate model to a scenario we are creating this state of energetic imbalance. By tapping we bring the system back to balance. This is the reason we feel better about after tapping.

The amazing part of EFT is that as well as bringing the system back into balance in the moment, we are changing the model by replacing the inaccurate information with information of health and well-being.

By changing the model, the next time it is referenced, I respond more appropriately. In our example:

  • I think about my fear of mice.
  • I use EFT to bring my system back to the balance which is its natural state.
  • As the system returns to balance the model is corrected.
  • The next time I see a mouse I apply the updated model and am not terrified.

EFT is a mechanical process. Tapping while you are tuned into a model will correct some or all of the inaccurate parts of that model. Since EFT is a mechanical process, if you do the steps correctly improvement will result.

This brings us to the third part of the question. How is intention involved in the healing process with EFT? As we have just shown, if the protocol is applied correctly, it doesn't matter if you have the intention for release. I have done EFT with a number of skeptical people. They didn't believe EFT was going to work and it did. But it did so because they fully engaged in the process. This is not a small point.

If you do not have the intention for release and health it is more likely that you will not use the protocol correctly. Remember that the words we use are not magic. The words help us to tune into an issue, but it is possible to say words, “this fear of mice…this fear of mice..this fear of mice” and to be thinking about what is on TV tonight and not mice. Even though it looks like I am doing EFT correctly, I will not make progress.

So intention is not a prerequisite for EFT to work, but I encourage all my clients to hold the intention of moving towards health and wellbeing because it helps them to stay focused and on-task.

A few thoughts to keep in mind:

  • We hold models of how the world works to make the world easier to navigate.
  • It is possible to have inaccurate or incomplete models of the world.
  • Simply activating these models will not change them.
  • If we tune into our inaccurate or incomplete models of the world while tapping we can correct those models.
  • Intention is not a requirement for EFT to work but it helps us to use the protocol correctly.

TapAlong #3: Dreaming + Work = Progress and Transformation

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[Every Monday a new free tap-along audio is added to TappingQandA.com. Make sure you check out the entire Tap-Along Archive. To be able to download these audios comercial free (with a printable script) visit the Tap-Along Premium Membership.]

“There are those who work all day. Those who dream all day. And those who spend an hour dreaming before setting to work to fulfill those dreams. Go into the third category because there’s virtually no competition.” Steven J. Ross

Pod #65: Tapping for Stress w/ Louise Tremayne

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    Stress is one of the biggest issues of modern life but I think that it is talked about so much that sometimes we tune it out. We need to keep our eye on how stress affects us day-to-day. Tapping for stress is easy to do and is much like brushing your teeth, you need do a little bit daily to make lasting change. In this interview I talk to Louise Woods about the impact of stress on the body and some simple things that you can do right now to improve your mood and your health.

LouiseWoodsEFTDevon
Louise Tremayne

Guest: Louise Tremayne

Contact: web @ FreeFlowingEnergy.com;  phone @ 07866 013 637; twitter @FFELou

About Louise: Louise Woods is an experienced EFT and Holistic Health Practitioner. She is based in Devon, UK and has been practicing EFT since 2006. She specializes in working with stress and anxiety, topics close to her own heart. Having left a stressful job in software engineering, she undertook a journey of self discovery to find the best way to deal with stress and found the answer in EFT. Louise is also qualified in NLP, Reiki and Crystal Therapy and draws on all of her skills and experiences when working with her clients.

Overwhelmed By Emotions While Using Tapping/EFT: Preventing it from happening and dealing with it if it happens

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I have so many emotions and memories coming up all at once that I’m overwhelmed by them. It feels like they are queuing up to get fixed! Yes, I’m glad this stuff comes up and I deal with it as it comes, but issues are tumbling out so fast they are landing on top of each other. I can’t spend all day in the bathroom at work! How do I deal with all these emotions without being so overwhelmed?


photo by Ashley Pollak

I have heard of this experience from a number of my clients. It is much like stirring up pond water. The water looks very clear, but the moment you start poking around in the water the sediment from the bottom clouds the water.

We can be very unaware of all the emotions and memories we are carrying around. When we start to poke around with healing work we can stir the pot and find much more than we bargained for.

I have two recommendations, one before you dive in and one for those moments when you’ve stirred up more than you bargained for.

Preventing Feeling Overwhelmed By Your Feelings

One of the benefits of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is the fact that we are able to slowly creep up on a problem while still doing effective work. Some techniques and therapies require you to dive into the deep part of the pain before you can start healing. It is possible to use EFT in this fashion, but I’m not a big fan of this approach.

I’m not a fan of feeling pain for the sake of pain. Why do healing work in a very painful way when you can do it in a much gentler way? A perfect example of this is how we can use EFT to deal with an individual’s fear of being in high places.

We could blindfold someone, not give them a clue as to the intent, transport them to the top of a 67-story building, let them freak out and start to do EFT.

Is it possible to be successful like this? Maybe, but we’d cause a lot of undue pain in the process.

When I work with someone who has this type of fear we start in the suburbs. I tell them that in just a little bit we’ll be going downtown to the top of the tallest building. For someone who fears heights this will cause the anxiety level to rise. We deal with this anxiety by doing EFT.

When they are at ease with the thought of heading downtown, we move to the car. In most cases their level of anxiety again rises as the time of climbing to the top of the building comes nearer. Again, we do EFT to deal with the anxiety. Once the anxiety is gone we start to drive downtown.

We repeat the process as many times as necessary, stopping to use EFT every time the anxiety gets above a 5 until we reach the top of the building. If this means we have to stop the car every 10 minutes and do EFT with each step we take toward the elevator, we do it.

Can this take a great deal of time? Yes. Is it a safe way to heal? In my mind it clearly is.

I recommend that whatever issue you are working on you creep up on it as gently as possible. By doing this you are going to more readily prevent yourself from going on tilt. I am in favor of erring on the side of caution even if it means that the healing takes a little more time.

When The Overwhelmed Feeling Strikes

Sometimes we can’t prevent feeling overwhelmed by emotions and memories. We might stumble into issues we had no idea were there as we do healing work, or circumstances in life may arise that catch us completely off guard.

We know that EFT is most effective when we can take memories one at a time and emotions from those memories one at time. When we feel unexpectedly overwhelmed it’s often difficult to do this. There is simply a whirlwind of emotions and/or memories all coming to the surface at once. Trying to separate these emotions or memories is like trying to separate one raindrop from another in a rainstorm. There might be a fleeting moment where you can see a single drop, but a moment later it is lost into the storm.

When this happens I go through a few steps to calm the storm.

1) Deal with any emotion that you have about being overwhelmed.
Once we know that we are supposed to break memories and emotions to effectively clear them it can be frustrating when we aren’t able to break them down. If there is any frustration about being overwhelmed that is the best place to start. The more frustrated you are, the less clearly you’ll see the issues at hand. As you tap give yourself permission to take this slowly; remember it’s okay not to know everything at once.

Tap on:

I know EFT works better when I can break things down…right now the emotions are coming all at once…I don’t know where to begin…and I feel like I am never going to get clear of all of this…but I don’t need to be frustrated or overwhelmed…I will be able to use EFT to take it apart a bit at a time…by taking it apart a bit a time it is going to manageable…as I break it apart it is going to be easier and easier to manage…I give myself permission to take this slowly…it’s okay that I don’t know everything that is going on…[How to use these tapping phrases]

[Side Note: You might also want to take a look at this article on the fear of fear.  Sometime we feel overwhelmed because we are afraid of what we are going to find.  If that is the case I think this is a very helpful approach: Fear of Fear]

2) Paint a picture of all the emotions at once
Since we are unable to deal with the emotions one at a time we might as well go after them all at once. Again, this is going to be a bit of a gross approach, but the goal of this step is to help us get some clarity so we can start picking the emotions apart.
In this step tune in to all the emotions you are feeling at once. Create a picture in your mind’s eye. Is it something inside of you or surrounding you? Is it a weight that is on you or something swirling around you? Is it a mist, a fog, or a storm? Or is it something completely different?

It doesn’t matter what your mind’s eye leads you to, just tune into that image. What color is it? What shape is it? How much does it weigh? What is it made of? Treat this image exactly the same way you would tune into a physical pain.

Now start to tap. At first, just tune into all the characteristics of the image you have just created. As you move from tapping point to tapping point move to a different characteristic — the color, shape, size, weight, where it is. Just keep tuning in.

As you do this you will notice the storm of emotion is losing its intensity.

3) Change the image into what needs to happen next
After spending a little time tapping with the image you have in mind, it’s time to change the image. You will either turn it into something new, get rid of it, or destroy it.

If it’s a tornado, see it move off the into the distance. If it’s a fog or mist, see the warm morning sun melt it away. If it’s a haze hanging in the air, see environmental engineers with air filters suck the polluted air into air filters, leaving pure air. If it’s goo in your chest, see little street cleaners work the area over and clean it up. If it’s a heavy metal weight on your chest or shoulders, see little workmen with jackhammers breaking it up.

While doing this, just keep tapping. How you change the image doesn’t matter, but change it for the better. Ask yourself the questions, “How could I make this feel better?” and see it happen.

As you do this you are going to find that you are more relaxed, your issues seem smaller, and you can start picking the individual emotions apart.

Conclusions

The beauty of EFT is we don’t have to feel a great deal of pain for it to work.  We can creep up on any issue we want to work on.  There are going to be times when we become overwhelmed with emotions.  When this happens we can still do work.  We can:

  • deal with the frustration of being overwhelmed
  • group all the emotions together
  • bring their intensity down as a group giving us the space we need to break the emotions apart into manageable pieces.