Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #67: Creating A Tapping Community Of Support w/ Stephen W. Carter

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Let's be honest: Tapping/EFT looks weird when you do it, sounds weird when you explain it, and really is just plain weird. At least once a week as I explaining the work I do and how much I love tapping someone will start to look at me like I have three heads and slowly start creeping away.

In any endeavor that we do it is important to have a community of support around us. In these communities we have the opportunity to learn from each other, support each other, and (most importantly) laugh with each other.

In the Baltimore area (which is where I live) Steve Carter has done an amazing job in creating just this type of community. The community he has created is from everyone from full time practitioners to people who are just interested in finding way the live health and happier lives. It started very small and over the last few years has not only grown in numbers, but it has also in the quality of support the community provides.

For me the only sadness is they normally meet on weekends and I travel 40 weekends a year and haven't had the chance to spend much time with them.

In this interview I talk with steve about why he started the group, what he has done to be successful, and lots of practical advice for someone who would like to start something like this in their own community. (And don't worry if you live in a small town or a rural area. Steve has specific advice for your situation.)

Since the recording of this podcast the group has grown to over 1100 people.

Stephen Carter

Guest: Stephen W. Carter, MA, TFT-DX, CHt.

Contact: web at Easy Stress Cures; web @ EFT MD; phone @ 1-888-849-5040; phone @ 1-804-677-6772

About Stephen: Stress management and how to help others learn its power became an important part of Stephen’s career while working in law enforcement. As a police chief, certified instructor with the Maryland Police Training Commission, and an adjunct instructor with the Eastern Shore Criminal Justice Academy, he developed and taught officer survival training with stress management as a foundational life saving skill to police officers across the state of Maryland. He incorporated stress management awareness throughout his police agency, helping ensure officers learned how to successfully handle life and death high stress situations and chronic day-to-day emotional tension.

After being named as the Corporate Security Director for a major bank, Stephen incorporated stress management into the bank’s robbery and kidnap training program. Thousands of employees and executives learned proven life saving strategies to successfully handle high stress situations.

In recent years Stephen has focused on applying life changing stress reduction methods to improve the health and well being of people with serious medical challenges. He helps people facing cancer, and other conditions, teaching them how to reduce stress and encourage rapid recovery.

In addition to his Master of Arts in Criminal Justice from George Washington University and a Bachelor of Science from the University of Maryland, Stephen holds certifications in hypnotherapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) as a Master Practitioner, and Quantum-Touch® energy healing as a practitioner and instructor. He is also a certified Emotional Freedom Techniques® (EFTCert-1) and Thought Field Therapy (TFT-Algo) practitioner He has received training in and taught multiple other meditative and bio-energy healing modalities.

Best Of, Personal Favorites, & Most Visited Free Resources About Tapping & EFT (#7links)

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photo by Jodi Green

Last year Darren over at ProBlogger recommended an exercise for bloggers that would allow an writer to remind their readers of what they have to offer. The exercise has two goals. First, it is to remind your long time readers of some of the better resources that have been created. Second, to introduce new readers to resources in the archive.

When I did it last year it was a fun activity for me to go back look through what is on the site. Here is the updated version of the activity with many of the questions Darren asked from before plus a new things I have added.

My First Article I Wrote About Tapping and EFT

    Making It Routine: This was the third article I ever wrote on tapping and the first one to appear here. This is a topic I still talk to my clients about regularly. I think finding ways to make anything helpful part of our daily routine is one of the biggest struggles we face. I reference this article and these principles all the time.

Article I Enjoyed Writing The Most About Tapping and EFT

    The Stages of Awareness: This is the first article I wrote where I felt like I was doing a higher level thinking beyond “This is how you tap for issue X”. It was also the first time I ever really learned something I didn't realize I knew before writing. This concept has transformed the way I understand the healing process. I always teach this concept to my advanced students and something I go back to again and again with they guys I teach in my anger management class in the local jail.

Article I Wish I'd Written About Tapping and EFT

    Tapping For Trauma w/ Gwyneth Moss (Podcast): This interview blew me away. Gwyneth's approach to the hows and whys of trauma is succinct. It is easy to understand and very useful. In under 30min she transformed the way I work with trauma big and small.

Most Helpful Article About Tapping and EFT

    What If I Don't Completely Love and Accept Myself: This felt like I was revealing a dirty secret. When I shared this, people came out of the woodwork saying, “Yeah, I have a really hard time using the set-up phrase as well.” By bringing the idea to light it gave other the chance to wrestle with what this means.

Article Title On A Tapping/EFT Article That I Am Proud Of

    Why I am Giving Up Self Improvement In The New Year: The article itself contains an idea that is very personal and has been very powerful in my own healing and growth. I wanted to make sure people checked it out. I thought the title was counterintuitive enough that I thought it would peak interest.

Article That I Wish More People Had Read About Tapping and EFT

    There Is No Such Thing As An Emotional Act (Is this true?): The content of this article was a total revelation to me. It took me more than a week to just the basic idea down in a form that I thought was understandable. Understanding the facts of how our conscious mind is so easily over run by emotional responses is very import in helping us understand how and we why act as well as making it easier for us to by easy with ourselves as we grow and heal. This is something I wish all my clients understood.

10 Most Read Articles On Tapping and EFT

Do you have a favorite article or podcast that I didn't list above? Add it as a comment below so others can find it easily.

TapAlong #4: Changing How We See Ourselves and the World

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A few years ago I was on retreat with Russ Hudson. At the beginning of the three days he said, “Who I think I am will die in this process. What I lose is my illusions.” Often the transformation process isn't about becoming something new but rather it is about seeing ourselves in new ways. Sometimes we are so caught up in an old image of ourselves that we don’t allow ourselves to see a new one. This is also true of how we perceive our life situation. It is possible for the world around us to change in dramatic ways yet we continue to operate out of an outdated understanding. A perfect example is when many generations of a family get together. Even as fully formed adults, people quickly fall back into old roles and patterns. As always, it is much easier to see this in others than it is in our own lives.

Pod #66: Fear As The Root Of Other Issues w/ Colleen Flanagan

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From my point of view the opposite of love is not hate, but instead fear. Fear is a very powerful force. It is very primal and is going to over ride most other emotions an thoughts. In this interview I talk with Colleen Flanagan about the many different faces of fear and how it can be at the root of many other issues. We spend a great deal of time talking about 5 distinct types of fear that can be used as lens to understand many of our deeper issues.


Colleen Flanagan

Guest: Colleen Flanagan

Contact: web @ EmoRescue.com; facebook @ Colleen Flanagan

About Colleen: An energizing and entertaining emotional wellness coach and speaker, Colleen Flanagan assists fear-ridden people and pets to get FREED of their stress, anxiety and struggle, with a dash of humor and a ton of compassion.

Colleen knows that most of what we don’t want comes from fears of failure, success or not feeling safe. Once those fears are clear, we're free of pain, able to move forward in love, creativity or business, living in hope, joy and peace again.

The author of eight popular wellness field e-books and audio-e-book packages, Colleen’s unique, effective work has been praised by clients on six continents.

The wildly popular business success package, “How to Follow Your Passion, Help Thousands and Make Great Money” featured Colleen as the Animal EFT Business Success Expert (below cover with horse), along with world-renown doctors and EFT Masters.

Why Do I Have To Tap? – How Is EFT Different From Just Thinking About The Issue?

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This article was written while powered by a few glasses of iced coffee bought by Frankie Collins of Seattle, WA . Thanks Frankie!

Is it necessary to have the intention of releasing or letting go a negative thought, feeling, or physical pain while tapping? I am trying to understand why fretting, stewing, or worrying about an issue consciously doesn't dissolve the negative emotions, but tapping while expressing it does.


photo by CARF Brazil

There are three distinct concepts relevant to the questions you are asking. When you understand all three and how they fit together it is easier to understand how Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) works. The three concepts are tuning in, tapping, and intention.

By getting a handle on these, it is easy to understand how the thoughts and emotions related to our past experience affect the present, and how EFT affects them.

We create models of the world in our minds to help us predict how the world works. By having these models we don't have to analyze how everything in our experience works. For example, when a server places a glass of ice water in front of me at a café I assume the water is going to be cold. I have experienced lots of glasses of water. When I see ice cubes present I assume the water is cold. As I bring the glass to my mouth I don't worry about burning my tongue. Because of the models I hold about water, ice, and cafés I don't give the water much thought.

Is it possible that the water is going to be lukewarm? Sure, but that is only disappointing, not dangerous. Is it possible that the water is scalding hot? It is possible, but so highly unlikely that I don’t have to worry about it.

The models I hold of the world save me time. By knowing what not to spent time and energy thinking, I can concentrate on what needs my attention.

But there is a flaw in this system.

It is possible that I hold inaccurate or incomplete models of a situation.

Let’s pretend that as I am writing this, a mouse runs by where I am sitting. Without stopping to think about it I react by I jumping up on the table and screaming like a small child. In this scenario I haven't given what has happened much thought. I just apply the model I have. In this case my model tells me that mice are terrifying and dangerous creatures, I am unsafe, and I need to run for my life.

The model has done its job. My model of mice was applied to the current experience and I acted without having to think. The issue is that mice aren't deadly creatures. In this case the model has not served me.

Now that we understand how models of information work, lets take a look at how we use EFT to affect these models.

If I were to use EFT to work on my fear of mice, the first step would be to into that fear. I could just imagine a mouse is running under my chair and my heart would start to race. When I tune into an issue, I am accessing a model of information. I think, “mouse under my chair,” and the model is applied. This is what we do when we are worrying about an issue. We are just accessing the models we hold but we aren't making any changes to the model itself. When we access that same model in the future the same feelings will result.

The next step in EFT is to start tapping on the issue. We know from the theory of EFT when we are thinking a thought that is not in line with health and wellbeing, the energy system of the body is in some way out of balance or disrupted. Every time we apply an inaccurate model to a scenario we are creating this state of energetic imbalance. By tapping we bring the system back to balance. This is the reason we feel better about after tapping.

The amazing part of EFT is that as well as bringing the system back into balance in the moment, we are changing the model by replacing the inaccurate information with information of health and well-being.

By changing the model, the next time it is referenced, I respond more appropriately. In our example:

  • I think about my fear of mice.
  • I use EFT to bring my system back to the balance which is its natural state.
  • As the system returns to balance the model is corrected.
  • The next time I see a mouse I apply the updated model and am not terrified.

EFT is a mechanical process. Tapping while you are tuned into a model will correct some or all of the inaccurate parts of that model. Since EFT is a mechanical process, if you do the steps correctly improvement will result.

This brings us to the third part of the question. How is intention involved in the healing process with EFT? As we have just shown, if the protocol is applied correctly, it doesn't matter if you have the intention for release. I have done EFT with a number of skeptical people. They didn't believe EFT was going to work and it did. But it did so because they fully engaged in the process. This is not a small point.

If you do not have the intention for release and health it is more likely that you will not use the protocol correctly. Remember that the words we use are not magic. The words help us to tune into an issue, but it is possible to say words, “this fear of mice…this fear of mice..this fear of mice” and to be thinking about what is on TV tonight and not mice. Even though it looks like I am doing EFT correctly, I will not make progress.

So intention is not a prerequisite for EFT to work, but I encourage all my clients to hold the intention of moving towards health and wellbeing because it helps them to stay focused and on-task.

A few thoughts to keep in mind:

  • We hold models of how the world works to make the world easier to navigate.
  • It is possible to have inaccurate or incomplete models of the world.
  • Simply activating these models will not change them.
  • If we tune into our inaccurate or incomplete models of the world while tapping we can correct those models.
  • Intention is not a requirement for EFT to work but it helps us to use the protocol correctly.