Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #284: EFT For Caregivers Who Struggle With Self-Care and Money w/ Melissa Lester, LCSW

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If you have been around the self-help world for any amount of time, it won’t surprise you to hear that caregivers are notoriously poor at taking good care of themselves.

What might be surprising is that one of the areas where this lack of self-care shows up is the way in which caregivers struggle with money.

In this conversation with Melissa Lester we talk about why caregivers struggle with self-care, how it affects their relationship to money, and what we can do about it.

Melissa is one of the hosts of the event Improve Your Relationship With Money which is taking place in November in Orlando. I am going to be one of the speakers at the event and I would love to see you there. Full details.

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Guest: Melissa Lester, LCSW

Contact:* Web @ melissalesterlcsw.com; Email @ here; Phone @ 770-313-7768;

Bio: Melissa Lester is a therapist and EFT Practitioner in Atlanta, GA. Melissa specializes in working with women issues especially Binge Eating Disorder, LGBTQ Issues, Coming Out Later in Life, Family of Origin issues, Relationship issues, Anxiety, Depression and Stress.

Pod #283: The 3 Reasons Why Our Loved Ones Don’t Want Us To Change

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I might seem counter intuitive, but there are three good reasons to why our loved ones don't want us to heal and transform. This can even be true for the people in our lives who are vocally supportive of us.

In most cases this lack of support from our loved ones is happening on a subconscious level.

This week in the podcast I talk about the three reasons why our loved ones don't want us to change and I provide a tap along audio for each of the reasons.

You can also find the tapping scripts written out below the audio player. (Did you know that you can take many of the tapping script with you through the free Tapping Q&A app? Download it here: Apple App | Google/Android App)

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I recognize the fact that as I change. As I transform. As I heal. As I move forward. My transformation impacts the people around me because we are connected. We are interdependent. Just because my transformation impacts others it does not mean I need to stand still. That I need to stay static. Because the world isn't static. The world is not staying the same. It only feels that way. I give myself permission to pursue transformation. To work towards healing. In an intentional and a deliberate way.

It is okay for me to make choices in the world that impact the people around me. Because the people around me are being impacted by me no matter what I do. They're going to be times in which loved ones feel subconsciously that my transformation is pointing out and heightening the discomfort in their own life. When they see me having better. When they see me healing. When they see me transformed. They might be reminded of the things that they are not happy within their own life. This might cause them to push back on my transformation. To undermine my healing. Just because they recognize the pain in their life. This does not mean I am responsible for the pain in their life. This does not mean I have caused the pain in their life. This does not mean I have to stop my transformation. They are responsible for their emotional state and I give myself permission to keep healing. Regardless how they see themselves.

It is also possible for the people around me to be jealous of my transformation. Because they are not having the same type of healing. They might even be putting in effort. They might even be working really hard. Not make the progress that I am making. Because of this they are jealous of my progress. I recognize the fact my healing is not undermining their healing. My transformation is not undermining their transformation. It simply means that I am transforming and I am healing at a rate that is faster than them. They can choose to be jealous if they like. But they are responsible for that jealousy. I give myself permission to trust myself. To know this healing path is right regardless how it relates to someone else's healing path. This process of healing that I am engaged in means and I am changing. Means that I am transforming.

When I transform one part of my life it often impacts many parts of my life. When I change it is possible for many of my relationships to change as well. There are people who aren't going to be happy with our relationships changing. Because they want their life to be predictable. They want their life to be the same. They want things to move forward in a consistent way. I can appreciate their desire for predictability. But the world is actually changing all of the time. Relationships are evolving all of the time. I give myself permission to recognize the fact I am not responsible for others transformation. I am allowed to change. I give myself permission to know that when people are frustrated with my transformation regardless of the reason it is about them and how they see the world. It is not about me. It is not about my right to transform. It is not about how I'm moving through the world. It is about their interpretation. I give myself permission to keep healing. To keep transforming. To keep evolving. Regardless what the people around me think. My transformation is about me. My transformation is about my life. My transformation is about how I move forward. I give myself permission to trust myself in this transformation. To know my transformation and healing is not only good for me but it is good for everyone.

Pod #282: EFT For Feeling Bad For Wanting More AND Feeling Bad For Not Having More

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Desire can be a double-edged sword.

When we want something that we don't have and see others with it, we feel left out. Sometimes we even feel as if we are not as worthy or not as valuable as others because they have it and we don't.

On the other hand, we can also feel bad for having desires at all, beating ourselves up for seeming ungrateful or unappreciative for what we do have.

What I find most amazing is the fact that we can feel both of these emotions at the same time. We can feel bad for not having what we want AND we can feel bad for wanting more.

This week I have a tap-along audio and script to respond to both ends of the emotional struggle with desire.

Join me at “Uncomplicate Your Relationship With Money”

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I have desires…I have goals…There are things that I want to have to be better…There are parts of my life I would like to transform…There are things in my life that I would like to heal…But I have a lot of emotional baggage around desire…Part of me feels bad because I have desires…Part of me feels bad because I want more…My desire feels selfish…My desire feels greedy…Because even though my life isn't perfect…I still have more than many…If I want more…It means that I am ungrateful…It means that I am unappreciative…It means I am being selfish…Because if I were truly thankful I would appreciate what I have and not want more…I give myself permission to know I can be grateful for what I have and still want to have more…I can appreciate where I am and want to make changes…Wanting more is not selfish…Wanting better is not greedy…It is possible for me to want more…It is possible for me to have more…Without robbing others of opportunity…Without robbing others of what they need…Improving my own life is not detrimental to others…Improving my own life gives me the opportunity to lift others up as well…Desiring more is safe…Wanting more is healthy…Lifting myself up can lift others up…Improving my status is not greedy…

Desire can also be painful…Because it points out what I don't have…It points out what I have not achieved…There is a part of me that interprets this lack as a failing…There is a part of me that interprets the lack as a judgement…Lack says that I am unworthy…Lack says that I am not good enough…Lack says that I am failing…Because if I were good enough…I would have already achieved it…If I were worthy of success…I would have success…Seeing others with success tells me they are good enough and I am not…Tells me they are valuable and I am not…I give myself permission to know it is possible for me to evolve to being able to recognize the fact that not achieving is not a statement on my worth…That not having is not a statement on my value…It is simply a statement of where I am in this moment…It is simply a statement of the process that I am in…I give myself permission to embrace the fact that this is a process that is unfolding in a gentle natural way…That is allowing me to achieve…My current status is not a statement on who I am…My lack of achievement is not a statement on what I can be…Where I am is simply a statement of where I am…In this spot I am worthy…In this spot I am whole…I am capable of more…I can work towards more…I appreciate where I am in this moment…I give myself permission to continue to have desires…To use my desires as a motivation…As I continue to move forward…As I continue to evolve…In big and small ways.

Pod #281: Tapping and EFT For Dread

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Tapping for negative past experiences is often the easiest kind of tapping because we know the details of the past experience. While tapping we have the opportunity to state exactly what happened, how we interpret those events, how we felt about them back then, and how we feel now.

No matter how long we have to tap to find relief, the tapping itself is straightforward.

Tapping for the emotion of dread can be much less straightforward. Dread is a worry about the future and, since the future is unknown, it is much harder to find specific details to tap for.

Here is a tap-along audio and tapping script to help you to tap for dread. I recorded the audio while I was in the grip of feeling dread myself, so you have the opportunity to experience the way I tap when dealing with an issue firsthand.

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There is a deep feeling of dread…That is encompassing my entire body…Because it is dread there is no specific focal point…There's no specific place that lives in my body…There is no epicenter to the pain…Even when I have a sense with the dread is and what it is about I don't know what that is in detail…Which makes tapping for this emotion really hard…I give myself permission to know that it is okay to tap…It is effective to tap…Even when I don't know exactly what I'm focusing on…Because of what is going on around me and because of the things outside of my control…My system is feeling a sense of dread…It's feeling a sense of hopelessness…Things are bad…Or are going to continue to be bad…Or are going to get worse…I appreciate the fact of my system is pointing this out…I am fully aware of what is going wrong…I am fully aware of what might go wrong…My system has done its job…I give the dread permission to release…Because I am aware of what it is trying to point out…Letting go of the dread is not saying the current situation is okay…Letting go of the dread is not me giving up my power to take action…Letting go of the dread he's not giving up…Instead by releasing the dread it puts me in a position to take action…It puts me in a position to move forward…It allows me to regain my control…Not control over everything…But control over me…Control over the small actions I can take…Control over the kindness that I can share…Control over being able to be present in this moment…Not ignoring what is going on…But instead not being debilitated by what is going on…Even when it feels hopeless…Even when it feels overwhelming…I give myself permission to allow myself to move forward…In This Moment, being a positive agent of change…That does not mean it is easy…That does not mean it is fun…That does not mean it is pain-free…It means that I am in a situation where I can control this moment in controlling how I respond…I am glad my system is recognizing things that are troubling…I appreciate my systems pointing out things that are difficult for my system to overcome the dread has done its job…It can release…It can let go…So I can move forward.

Pod #280: Why We Use EFT

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Why do you tap?

It seems like such a silly question to consider. Obviously (!) we tap to make ourselves feel better, remove pain, to be healthier, and to create a more enjoyable life.

I don't disagree with any of those ideas. In a global way that is why I use Emotional Freedom Techniques as well. But it doesn't get to the heart of the reason why we tap.

For me, there is a simple underlying principle that informs how I understand change, where to start when working with an issue, and how I can evaluate the long term success of tapping.

I am always trying to get better at what I do. In order to do that I need constantly to re-evaluate and challenge my own assumptions. I would love to hear your thoughts on this idea in the comments below. Your feedback will make me a better practitioner.

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