Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #282: EFT For Feeling Bad For Wanting More AND Feeling Bad For Not Having More

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Desire can be a double-edged sword.

When we want something that we don't have and see others with it, we feel left out. Sometimes we even feel as if we are not as worthy or not as valuable as others because they have it and we don't.

On the other hand, we can also feel bad for having desires at all, beating ourselves up for seeming ungrateful or unappreciative for what we do have.

What I find most amazing is the fact that we can feel both of these emotions at the same time. We can feel bad for not having what we want AND we can feel bad for wanting more.

This week I have a tap-along audio and script to respond to both ends of the emotional struggle with desire.

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I have desires…I have goals…There are things that I want to have to be better…There are parts of my life I would like to transform…There are things in my life that I would like to heal…But I have a lot of emotional baggage around desire…Part of me feels bad because I have desires…Part of me feels bad because I want more…My desire feels selfish…My desire feels greedy…Because even though my life isn't perfect…I still have more than many…If I want more…It means that I am ungrateful…It means that I am unappreciative…It means I am being selfish…Because if I were truly thankful I would appreciate what I have and not want more…I give myself permission to know I can be grateful for what I have and still want to have more…I can appreciate where I am and want to make changes…Wanting more is not selfish…Wanting better is not greedy…It is possible for me to want more…It is possible for me to have more…Without robbing others of opportunity…Without robbing others of what they need…Improving my own life is not detrimental to others…Improving my own life gives me the opportunity to lift others up as well…Desiring more is safe…Wanting more is healthy…Lifting myself up can lift others up…Improving my status is not greedy…

Desire can also be painful…Because it points out what I don't have…It points out what I have not achieved…There is a part of me that interprets this lack as a failing…There is a part of me that interprets the lack as a judgement…Lack says that I am unworthy…Lack says that I am not good enough…Lack says that I am failing…Because if I were good enough…I would have already achieved it…If I were worthy of success…I would have success…Seeing others with success tells me they are good enough and I am not…Tells me they are valuable and I am not…I give myself permission to know it is possible for me to evolve to being able to recognize the fact that not achieving is not a statement on my worth…That not having is not a statement on my value…It is simply a statement of where I am in this moment…It is simply a statement of the process that I am in…I give myself permission to embrace the fact that this is a process that is unfolding in a gentle natural way…That is allowing me to achieve…My current status is not a statement on who I am…My lack of achievement is not a statement on what I can be…Where I am is simply a statement of where I am…In this spot I am worthy…In this spot I am whole…I am capable of more…I can work towards more…I appreciate where I am in this moment…I give myself permission to continue to have desires…To use my desires as a motivation…As I continue to move forward…As I continue to evolve…In big and small ways.

Pod #281: Tapping and EFT For Dread

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Tapping for negative past experiences is often the easiest kind of tapping because we know the details of the past experience. While tapping we have the opportunity to state exactly what happened, how we interpret those events, how we felt about them back then, and how we feel now.

No matter how long we have to tap to find relief, the tapping itself is straightforward.

Tapping for the emotion of dread can be much less straightforward. Dread is a worry about the future and, since the future is unknown, it is much harder to find specific details to tap for.

Here is a tap-along audio and tapping script to help you to tap for dread. I recorded the audio while I was in the grip of feeling dread myself, so you have the opportunity to experience the way I tap when dealing with an issue firsthand.

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There is a deep feeling of dread…That is encompassing my entire body…Because it is dread there is no specific focal point…There's no specific place that lives in my body…There is no epicenter to the pain…Even when I have a sense with the dread is and what it is about I don't know what that is in detail…Which makes tapping for this emotion really hard…I give myself permission to know that it is okay to tap…It is effective to tap…Even when I don't know exactly what I'm focusing on…Because of what is going on around me and because of the things outside of my control…My system is feeling a sense of dread…It's feeling a sense of hopelessness…Things are bad…Or are going to continue to be bad…Or are going to get worse…I appreciate the fact of my system is pointing this out…I am fully aware of what is going wrong…I am fully aware of what might go wrong…My system has done its job…I give the dread permission to release…Because I am aware of what it is trying to point out…Letting go of the dread is not saying the current situation is okay…Letting go of the dread is not me giving up my power to take action…Letting go of the dread he's not giving up…Instead by releasing the dread it puts me in a position to take action…It puts me in a position to move forward…It allows me to regain my control…Not control over everything…But control over me…Control over the small actions I can take…Control over the kindness that I can share…Control over being able to be present in this moment…Not ignoring what is going on…But instead not being debilitated by what is going on…Even when it feels hopeless…Even when it feels overwhelming…I give myself permission to allow myself to move forward…In This Moment, being a positive agent of change…That does not mean it is easy…That does not mean it is fun…That does not mean it is pain-free…It means that I am in a situation where I can control this moment in controlling how I respond…I am glad my system is recognizing things that are troubling…I appreciate my systems pointing out things that are difficult for my system to overcome the dread has done its job…It can release…It can let go…So I can move forward.

Pod #280: Why We Use EFT

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Why do you tap?

It seems like such a silly question to consider. Obviously (!) we tap to make ourselves feel better, remove pain, to be healthier, and to create a more enjoyable life.

I don't disagree with any of those ideas. In a global way that is why I use Emotional Freedom Techniques as well. But it doesn't get to the heart of the reason why we tap.

For me, there is a simple underlying principle that informs how I understand change, where to start when working with an issue, and how I can evaluate the long term success of tapping.

I am always trying to get better at what I do. In order to do that I need constantly to re-evaluate and challenge my own assumptions. I would love to hear your thoughts on this idea in the comments below. Your feedback will make me a better practitioner.

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Pod #279: Tapping For The Right Emotion

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One of the first techniques that any good tapper learns is the “movie technique”.

In the movie technique you replay the details of a past event in your mind, as if you are watching them in a film. As you replay the past events, the moment you get to an emotion in the memory, you stop and tap for the emotion.

This is a very effective way of clearing the emotions from a past event. The problem is that there are often more emotions that need to be cleared than just the ones that show up while you are replaying the past memory.

Not only do we need to deal with what happened, but we also need to clear the emotions we feel today as we think about that past event.

Here is a simple technique to make sure you are clearing the emotional baggage from the past memory AND also clearing your relationship to the past.

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Something special for those in the UK

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At the end of month I will be in the UK on vacation and I would love to see you!

The last two times I have been in London I arranged informal meetups. We talked about tapping, the healing process, and life in general. I had a great time getting to know my readers and those who showed up made new tapping friends.

On Monday July 31st I am going to be at Mulberry Bush (89 Upper Ground, Southbank, SE1 9PP, very close to the National Theatre ) from 6:30 pm – 8:30 pm.

If you are in the city please do come along to hang out and have drink. You can stop by anytime and can stay for as long or short as you would like.

Send me a note if you are thinking of coming so I can send you updated information if anything changes.

I am also going to be in north Wales July 28th, 29th, and 30th. I’m not currently planning a meetup there but if you are in that part of the world, reply to this email and we might arrange a little gathering.

Let me know if you have any questions and I hope to see you soon!

Gene