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Pod: #276: The Difference Between Knowing What To Do And Doing It

June 28, 2017 by Gene Monterastelli

There is a huge difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Just because tapping is a powerful tool doesn't mean that you will always remember to reach for it in times of emotional distress.

When my clients are recounting something from the previous week that was hard, I ask them if they tried tapping for the issue. They usually reply somewhat sheepishly, “No… I forgot.” My aim is not to try to shame them by asking that question. I just want to know what happened so we can do the best work in the moment.

We set amazingly high standards for ourselves. Part of us believes that if we know how to do something, then we must be perfect at it every time. That is simply not the case.

It takes time for new skills to become a habit. But we are human beings and we simply aren't perfect, meaning that we don’t always reach for the right tool.

Below you will find a tap-along audio and tapping script to help you to be easier with yourself when you aren't doing the action you want to take perfectly. When tapping like this we are not excusing ourselves from not making the best choices, but instead making sure that we understand why we don't always make the best choices.

Right now, think of an area in your life where you are beating yourself up because you aren't doing it well enough, and tap for it. Not only will you feel better, but it will be easier to take positive action.

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I recognize the fact that I am not perfect…I recognize the fact that I will make mistakes…Even though I can intellectually accept that fact…There is a part of me that does not want to accept that…There is a part of me that thinks I need to get it right…Especially when I have the skills…Especially when I know what to do…When I don't use the skills that I have…There is a part of me that decides to beat myself up…There is a part of me that needs to let me know that I am wrong…There's a part of me that wants to punish me for this mistake…I appreciate the fact that something in me wants to hold myself to a very high standard…I appreciate the fact that there is a part of me that wants me to make the best choices possible…I also recognize the fact that this part of me is over functioning…That this part works way too hard…That this part believes if it beats me up for making a mistake…I will then make good choices in the future…I know this isn't the case…I know that harsh words and beating myself up are not helpful…I know chastising myself is not useful…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…I give myself permission to be gentle with myself…I give myself permission to be kind to myself…There's a part of me that finds this unacceptable…There is a part of me that believes I'm taking the easy way out…There is a part of me that thinks that when I am easy with myself…What I'm really doing is giving myself permission to make more mistakes…But when I’m easy with myself I can still take responsibility for my past choices…When I’m easy with myself I can still take responsibility for the consequences of my choices…When I’m easy with myself I am still deciding to learn the lessons of the past…Learning from my past is useful…Learning from my past is instructive…Beating myself up for bad choices is destructive…I give myself permission to be imperfect…I can be imperfect and still strive to do my best…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…Knowing that being easy with myself is not letting myself off easy…When I learn from my past without beating myself up…It is the fastest route to transformation…It is the fastest way to creating positive new habits.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Easy With Self, Mistake, Taking Action

Pod #275: EFT For Grief

June 21, 2017 by Gene Monterastelli

Unfortunately, death is an unfortunate fact of life. Even with the passing of a loved one is expected it is an emotionally difficult experience.

When we are facing the emotions that come after the death of a loved one, the goal is not to eliminate all of our emotion. Sadness is appropriate. Sadness is healthy. Instead we can tap to make sure that we are have proportional well informed emotions.

The tap-along audio and script that you can find below is perfect any time you are feeling the pain of the death of a loved one. It could be right when it happened, on the anniversary of their death, or on a random day that you are reminded of them.

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Having a loved one die hurts…I am overcome with sadness…Because I'm never again going to get a chance again to spend time with this person I loved…I won't get to ask them for advice…I won't get to share a joke…I won't get to cry alongside them…Those moments are gone…Because of that I hurt deeply…The hurt that I am feeling is just my system telling me that I miss someone who is really important…I want my system to know that I am completely aware of that fact…I am aware of the loss…I am aware of the disconnection…I give my system permission to feel that sadness…I'm not running away from this sadness…I'm not avoiding the sadness…It is simply my experience in this moment…But I also recognize the fact…Then I don't have to stay in that loss…It's not the only part of this experience…How lucky am I to have had this person in my life…I know my life is better because of their presents in it…I know my life is richer because of that experience…And I appreciate deeply the fact that I knew them…Even though I miss them…I recognize the fact that this feeling isn't going to last forever…That this sadness isn't going to last forever…That this pain isn't going to last forever…Even though in this moment it feels like it will…In this moment I'm allowed to feel grief…I don't have to fight it…I give myself permission to know it's not my total experience…This experience is more than the grief…I'm allowed to appreciate and I'm allowed to celebrate period I'm allowed to honor this friendship…They will be missed…I will feel the sadness of their loss again because they are loved…I don't have to feel sadness to honor the friendship…Feeling sadness is one of the ways to honor the friendship…I give myself permission to honor it in so many other ways…I am so lucky they were in my life…Remembering that is so much more important than the sadness of their loss…This sadness will pass…This grief will pass…But my connection to them will remain forever.

Filed Under: Podcast, Tap Along Tagged With: Death, Family, Grief

Pod #274: How To Tap When Your Emotions Are So Strong You Can’t Find The Right Words

June 7, 2017 by Gene Monterastelli

A key reason we don't tap in the moment is because we are so engulfed by what we are feeling that we don't remember tapping is something helpful we can do.

Or sometimes we may remember to tap, but we still don't do it because we don't know where to start. In the middle of strong emotions it can be difficult to describe what we are feeling. We can't find the words to describe the root cause and we aren't thinking clearly enough to come up with a reframe for the situation.

Because we can't find an entry point to tapping, we simply don't do it.

Here is a simple 3-step process to use when you are in the moment and don't know what to say when you are tapping. The process is so simple that you will be able to master it after listening just once.

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Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Emotions, Overwhelm

Pod #273: EFT For Big Decisions

May 31, 2017 by Gene Monterastelli

Back in Pod #199 I shared with you a tap-along audio to help you when you are facing a big decision. The tap-along is about trusting yourself, creating space, and knowing that everything will work out for the best.

I went back to listen to it again and I think it is an excellent and useful tap-along.

At the same time, I think there is more we can do to create space for making good choices when facing a big decision.

This week I have for you a simple tool with step-by-step instruction on how you can use tapping in the decision-making process. It's more than just feeling better about making the choice, but tapping while you are figuring out what is best for you.

If you use the tool, please let me know how it worked for you in the comment section below.

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Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Choice, Decision

Pod #272: EFT For The Frustration Of Stalled Progress

May 24, 2017 by Gene Monterastelli

When tapping works, it feels like magic. You tap on a few points, you say a few phrases, and you get relief.

When tapping doesn't work, you feel like a fool. You are sitting alone in your room muttering phrases to yourself, tapping on your body, and hoping it will get better.

When this happens to me, not only do I question tapping in the moment, I also question all of the tapping I did in the past. I wonder if I have imagined my past successes.

This week I have for you a simple tap-along that you can do when you feel like you have reached a plateau in your progress. I recorded it in the middle of feeling this exact frustration. So this isn't me giving you an option for this type of tapping, it is actually me dealing with it for myself.

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Right now I am frustrated by the fact that I am not moving forward…No matter what I try…I'm not making any progress at all…When I am stuck in this place…It’s difficult for me to focus…It's difficult for me to take action….It is difficult for me to believe that it is possible to be better…Right now I am trying really hard…I'm doing everything I know how to do…I'm putting forth full effort…But it’s making no difference at all…It feels like a waste of time…It feels like I'm going backwards…It feels like no matter what I do, it is useless…Not only am I questioning what I'm doing right now…I'm questioning everything I did before…Was my past success a fluke?…Were my past efforts actually helpful?…I hate feeling stuck like this…I hate feeling like I can't move forward…Even though all of this is true…I can recognize the fact that this is a process….Sometimes when we are in the middle of a process…It doesn't go as smoothly as we would like…It doesn't move forward as easily as we would like…I recognize the fact the effort that I am putting forth right now is adding to my success…Even if I can't see the success in this moment..Even if I can't feel that success with this effort…I'm not going to be stuck like this forever…The simple fact that I have invested some time to try and transform this issue…To keep moving forward…Is good…I give myself permission to do the work…To know the results are going to come…Even if they're not coming right now…Even if they're not coming as fast as I would like…The results are going to come…I trust myself…I trust the process…I trust my toolset…Knowing that when I put forth this effort…I'm eventually going to make progress…I am open to the possibility of that progress being quick…I am open to the possibility of that happening easily…I give myself permission to trust myself….I trust the process…To keep taking action…Knowing that this will ultimately lead me to my goal.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Frustration, Plateau

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Meet Gene Monterastelli

Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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