Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Creativity Boosting Techniques That Accelerate Tapping Success (AKA: How To Keeping Tapping When It Gets Boring Or Stale) Part 1 of 4

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[This article is part of a four part series on how to get create with tapping when you are stuck or bored with tapping. A new part willed be added every few weeks. See the parts that have been published so far and check back regularly to see the full series.]

photo by Maureen Flynn-Burhoe

Mechanically tapping/Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a very easy thing to do. All you need is to provide stimulus to the tapping points plus tuning into the issue at hand. The tapping part is easy; what can be hard is the tuning in part. Often we are so close to an issue or we have been working on an issue that it is difficult to see it clearly.

Recently Jeremy Dean's PSYBlog had a very interesting two part series (via kottke.org) which explored 14 of ways we can become more creative and more efficient problem solvers. In this four part series I am going to explore how we can apply many of these insights to tune into our issues in new ways (plus a few of my own).

Obviously not all of these are going to work for every issue, but by having a complete menu to choose from you are going to find new ways to approach the issue.

Psychological Distance (via part 1)

People often recommend physical separation from creative impasses by taking a break, but psychological distance can be just as useful.
Participants in one study who were primed to think about the source of a task as distant, solved twice as many insight problems as those primed with proximity to the task (Jia et al., 2009).

◊ For insight: Try imagining your creative task as distant and disconnected from your current location. This should encourage higher level thinking.

How to apply to tapping: You can use this issue in two ways.

First, imagine you are having your same issue, but place yourself having the issue in some distant place. Make this place distinct from your daily life without any of the people you normally interact with. Notice what happens to the issue in this new context. Is it stronger, weaker, or do you have insight about the issue?

Second, image yourself in a complete safe (and a place that you can leave anytime you want) space. It might be an empty room or it might be just a vast empty space. As you experience your issue in a space that is disconnected from everything else is it stronger, weaker, or do you have a new insight about the issue?

Fast Forward In Time (via part 1)

Forster et al. (2004) asked participants to think about what their lives would be like one year from now. They were more insightful and generated more creative solutions to problems than those who were thinking about what their lives would be like tomorrow.
Thinking about distance in both time and space seems to cue the mind to think abstractly and consequently more creatively.

◊ For insight: Project yourself forward in time; view your creative task from one, ten or a hundred years distant.

How to apply to tapping: You can use this to find information about the issue as well information on how to transform the issue.

First, see yourself one, five, and ten years from now. How is the issue impacting your life now? Is it the same or is it different? If it is different, different how? What new information and insight do you have about the issue?

Second, see yourself one, five, and ten year from now without the issue. How does it feel to be free of the issue? Ask this future you how it was able to make this transformation.

Use Bad Moods (via part 1)

Positive emotional states increase both problem solving and flexible thinking, and are generally thought to be more conducive to creativity. But negative emotions also have the power to boost creativity.

One study of 161 employees found that creativity increased when both positive and negative emotions were running high (George & Zhou, 2007). They appeared to be using the drama in the workplace positively.

◊ For insight: negative moods can be creativity killers but try to find ways to use them—you might be surprised by what happens.

How to apply to tapping: When we are tapping we can become very frustrated with the lack of progress. Many times this frustration can become full blown anger. Anger is a powerful emotion. It exists as a power to defend ourselves. Why not tune into this power solve your problem.

I would recommend tapping on something like this:

Right now I am very angry…I am very mad…I am mad because things are going the way I would like…I am mad because I am stuck in this place…I am angry because I don't know where to go next…I know this anger is a part of me that very powerfully wants better…I know this anger is wanting me to be healthier and more peaceful…the anger is fighting for me…It is just not being very effective…Right now I want my anger to transform into something more useful…I want to use its power not to just fight off the perceived attack…but instead become a force to look for solutions to the issue at hand…I know my anger has power…now is the time I tap into it.

This is part 1 of a 4 part series. Check out all 4 parts for more creative ideas.

The Stories We Have Been Told About Success

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photo by Jen Watson

Many times we are making choices and responding to the world based on the expectations that we have received from friends, family, and cultural norms. These expectations might not be useful to who we would like to become. In many cases they can stop our progress. Here is a very simple Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping technique that can be used when dealing with the expectations that we have received from others.

I have been working with “Martin” for a while. He wanted to see transformation in what he did for a living. He felt as if there was a higher calling for his life that he had not been able to figure out. After a number of very successful sessions Martin plateaud.

Martin had come to a much clearer vision of what he wanted his life to look like, but for some reason he just couldn't act. As we were talking about this the wall he had bumped into he said, “I know what I need to do, but I am stuck on all these stories of what at 35 year olds life is suppose to look like.”

The instance he said those words I had the flash of a book in my imagination. I instructed Martin start tapping and to image that we was sitting at a table with a blank book and a pen on the table. I then asked him to start to write all of the stories that had been given to him about what a 35 year olds life should look like.

I told him to take his time, to write as much as he needed, if he needed another book because he had filled the first it would just appear on the table, and asked him to let me know when he was done writing.

I check in with him ever few minutes for the next 20 minutes as he wrote and wrote and wrote.

After filling five books he let me know that he was done.

I then asked him what we should do with these books. “Do we lock them away? Put them on a shelf for later use? Destroy?”

He replied, “I am not one who thinks that it is a good idea to burn books, but in this case I will make an exception.”

[Important Note: Early in my practice I would have simply instructed my client to try to destroy the book in his imagination because that is what I would have wanted to do. I have learned over time that client's system knows what is the best way to proceed. I will give options, like I did in this case, to spark the clients imagination, but I leave the next step up to them.]

In his imagination he poured gasoline on the books and lit them. I asked Martin if the books were burning. He said, “No”.

At this point we started to explore the different reasons why it was hard to let go of the stories in those books. We discovered that part(s) of him felt:

  • If the stories were let go then the people who passed those stories along would also be let go.
  • If the stories were let go then there would be no guidance at all.
  • What if the stories were let go, but needed later they couldn't be found?
  • What if the stories were really right?

One at a time we tapped on these issues. After we cleared all the issues Martin tried again to burn the books. This time he was successful and felt a great sense of relief and freedom.

The Process
The process itself is very easy to be repeated.

  • Start tapping and just move from tapping point to tapping point every few seconds.
  • Image yourself sitting at a table giving yourself permission to write all the stories that have been given to you about what the world thinks success is for you.
  • If you need more books they will appear.
  • After the writing is done ask your system what you need to do with these books so that you can be free from others stories so that you can write your own.
  • If you are unable to complete the step of freeing yourself tap on the issues that are making it difficult for you to let these stories go.
  • Do what your system needs to release these stories.

Getting specific with EFT

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One of the biggest problems with getting results while tapping with Emotional Freedom Techniques is we impede our success because we are not specific enough. In this article Rod Sherwin shows very simple way of using four questions to help us to get more specific.


photo by Jake Bouma

One of the consistent guidelines from EFT Founder Gary Craig was to identify specific events to tap on for broad emotional issues such as depression, stress, anger, and anxiety.

I recommend a few rounds of EFT initially focusing on the general feeling because it helps to take the edge of the intensity of the issue and feel safer about dropping deeper into the feelings and core issues. Being generic will help relieve the intensity but if you want the issue gone for good you want to get to specific events. This initial tapping on the general feeling might include:

“Even though I feel…I acknowledge how I feel”
“Even though I feel…and it seems so global, I'm curious about exploring this issue from the safety of where I am right now”
“Even though I feel…I choose to feel safe and secure in exploring this issue in more detail”

Repeat the above tapping for a few rounds until you feel ready to explore the issues in more detail.

Once you do feel ready to continue, it's time to get specific with these key questions:

  • What?
  • When?
  • Where?
  • Who?

The first question, “What?”, is to identify something that has happened (or is still happening) that you feel contributes to the general issue with which you are dealing. Sometimes a memory or event will come into mind while you are doing the initial tapping described above. Go with that memory even if you can't see a logical connection because you subconscious has brought it up for a reason. Once you have identified the event, write down a title for the event. Just one sentence to describe it, like a title for a movie.

The second question, “When?”, helps you locate the event in you own personal timeline. How old were you when the event occurred? What year was it? Were you still at school? Were you at college or university? What was your occupation at the time? Was it before or after you got married; had your first child? All of these questions help you fix the event in time. Write down the answer to “When?”.

Next is “Where did the event happen?”. Was it at home, work, or school? If it was in the home, was it in the bedroom, kitchen, lounge room, or back yard? If it was at work, was it in the bosses office, the kitchen, a meeting room? If it was a school, was it in the common room, science lab or playground? Again these questions help make the event specific.

You do not necessarily need answers to all of these questions before you start tapping as tapping on what you do remember will sharpen the memory anyway. When working with clients, I continuously see more and more details about a memory emerge as we tap on an issue until we have dealt with every aspect.

The final question to investigate is “Who else was there?” This can be the most emotionally charged question, so if even the thought of answering this question makes you uncomfortable, do a few rounds of tapping until you comfortable continuing. See if you can identify everyone who was in that memory as it can be useful to tap while focusing on each of them in turn. If someone was absent and should have been there, write them down as well to tap on the feelings that come up when you tune into them in association with this memory.

Now that you have identified the what, when, where, and who, you can combine them all into one tapping set-up phrase or break them up and use each snippet of information as you progress through the tapping points. After a few rounds, check through the questions again to see if you have more information, the emotional charge has changed in some way or you are done with that aspect all together.

Asking what, when, where and who helps you identify a specific event related to a general issue, clear all aspects the event, and give you emotional freedom from this memory. It will also contribute to the generalisation effect of healing related events.

Do No Harm

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[Note: This article is part 2 of 4 in the series “4 Principles I Never Break As A Practitioner”. In this series I am discussing four of the fundamental principles I never break in running my business. A new article will be added to the site every two or three weeks. You can read the full series and you can check out all the free practitioner resources.]


photo by Taber Andrew Bain

The Hippocratic Oath (or some oath similar to it) is taken by most medical doctors in the western world. It is believed that it is based upon an oath written by the father of western medicine Hippocrates in the 5th century BCE.

I am not a doctor and I never give any medical advice, but I think there is a lot that we as practitioners can learn from the Hippocratic Oath. Here it is in the modern version (Written in 1964 by Louis Lasagna, Academic Dean of the School of Medicine at Tufts University):

“I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:

I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.

I will not be ashamed to say “I know not,” nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given to me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.”

Share Knowledge
One of the things I love about the tapping community is the general willingness to share. Gary Craig deserves a great deal of credit for fostering this spirit in the ways he shared Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) from the very beginning. This tradition in continued through articles, blogs, videos, and forums. I know my knowable base and skill set have grown because the great generosity of others.

I think we should all strive for a generous spirit when it comes to sharing our knowledge and experience. The first three articles in this series talk about the many ways we can share our knowledge and participate in the community.

Art and Science
There is a great deal of talk in the tapping community about the “art of delivery”. This is such an important concept. The art of delivery is all about how we interact with our clients in terms of building relationship, guiding the healing process, and teaching new concepts and skills. Client work is not some math equation in which you enter in a few pieces of data and know what the next step is.

No two clients are the same and no two issues are the same. Some clients aren't very good at talking about what they are experiencing. They just know something isn't right. Often time our job as practitioners is simply to provide our clients a safe place to share their struggles and help them to find vocabulary to describe what they are experiencing.

In addition to spending time learning about new techniques and how to approach different types of issues we also need to spend time developing our skills to work with and understand people. I many times my clients know the next step on their healing path and simply need the space and safety to discover what that next step is.

Being Able To Say “I don't know.”
People come to us because we are the experts. We have skills, experience, and perspectives that our clients don't have. Because of this we are able to help our clients down the healing path.

I love the fact that my clients are willing to trust me with the issues they are facing in their lives. Often times this can be a very humbling experience. Because of this trust I want to do everything I can to help my clients.

It can be a very scary moment when we run in to an issue that we don't know how to help. We want to be helpful, we don't want to let our clients down, and we don't want to look like we aren't capable (hurting our chances to help them again in the future).

Even with these desires it is very important that we are able to say, “I don't know.” This does not mean that we have failed our clients. Instead we have served them by not creating a false sense of expectations of what is going to be accomplished and we are keeping them safe be doing work we are not comfortable or qualified to do.

Here are a list of phrases that every practitioner should add to their repertoire:

  • I don't know
  • I don't know, but you should check with…
  • I don't know, but I will do some research on that topic.

Some of these moments where I have admitted that I didn't know what the best approach should be have been some of the best learning experiences for myself. I have been forced to research new ideas and to reach out to other practitioners I trust for their wisdom and expertise.

Working With People Not Issues
One of the reasons I believe that I am good as a practitioner is because of the experience I can draw on. There are a number of issues that I have worked with for years. Because of this I can often find my way to the root cause of issues faster than I could have even just one year ago. Being able to see patterns can be a very helpful tool but we can't get so wrapped up in what we believe is going on that we miss what is truly going on.

When we work with clients we are working with a person with an issue they would like to see transformed, not working with an issue that needs to be fixed. Just because a client is describing an issue you have worked with hundreds of times before doesn't mean it is the same issue or experience as your other clients. It is important we keep our past experiences in mind, but we can't loose sight of whom we are working with.

Do No Harm
The modern version of the oath has replaced the phrase “do no harm” with “avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism”. Personal, I like “do no harm”.

It seems silly that we need to be reminded of something like this, but it is very easy to get very wrapped up in the work we are doing and the issues that are at hand that we forget about consequences of our work beyond this moment.

It is important that we keep our clients full life in mind when working with them, not just our time with them. We need to make sure that we are leaving them in a healthy place at the end of a session to issue they are going to be safe and healthy for the rest of day.

It does us no good to searching for painful past memories if we don't have the time to work with them. We also need to be sure that we are not leaving our client so exhausted at the end of a session that they are not going to be able to do what they need to do the rest of the day.

When I am working with particularly emotional issues I am continually checking in with my clients to insure they not only have enough energy to continue our work, but also that they are in a place to do what they need to do for the rest of the day.

Conclusion
I think Hippocrates was right in his desire to insure all of those involved in healing we reminding themselves of that they are truly called to do and why they are called to do. We would also do ourselves (and our clients) a great service if we reminded ourselves of the same thing from time to time.

If you have thought our idea that should be part of a practitioners understanding of mission please add it below in the comments.

In part three if the “4 Principles Series” we will look at the most important thing to keep in mind when working with a clients: Becoming the trusted expert.

Note: Gene enjoys helping new practitioners build their practice and current practitioners grown there practice. Let Gene know if you would like to chat about how he could help your practice today. (And yes, the consultation is free)]

Reinforcing Progress By Recognizing Progress

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photo by David Goehring

Sometimes we make progress with our tapping that is so sublet that we don't even notice it. This is much like going on a long walk. Because the pace is so slow you don't realize how far you have gone.

Other times we make such a radical change that it is impossible to believe we had the problem before. This is something that always makes me smile. I will be working with a client on an issue that is so gripping it is the only thing they can think of. After doing some work I will ask them to tune back into the issue and they will say something like, “Oh, we don't have to worry about that, because that isn't really an issue.”

We don't have to recognize the progress we are making. The simple fact that we are progressing and growing is reward enough for doing our tapping work, but there are some befits to recognizing our progress.

1) Encouragement
By seeing our progress we are going to keep working for more. It is very easy to be caught in our current emotional state. When it feels bad it is hard for us to recognize how much better thing are now than they once were. We when can take the long view and see our progress it encourages us to keep doing work.

With many of my regular clients every few weeks we have a conversation about the progress they are making because it is so easy to miss.

2) See what works
When we recognize progress in one area of our life we are willing to use the tool set in another. When we can see how tapping directly helped with our fear of speaking we are willing to use it on our procrastination.

3) Insight to be shared
When we can see the transformation that we are going through and why it is happening then we are able to share that experience with others. As we grow and change we can help other to do the same.

How To Reinforce
One of the skills I have taken from my hypnosis training is the recognition of the power of repeating an insight or change. By revisiting a thought again and again we can create a pattern that becomes our default position. We see that with our negative self-talk. Why not use it in a positive way?

A great way to do this is to tap on the insight and growth of the most recent session. All you need to do is complete and tap on the following phrases. This will help you to gain all the benefits of reinforcing your progress, plus give you great positive phrases to tune into.

  • I know I have changed because I now feel….
  • I know I have changed because I now believe…
  • I know I have changed because I now know…