Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Breathing Life Into Anger

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Lately I have been having a lot of trouble with anger. I am able to do some tapping for it, but it isn't giving me total relief and it is coming back again and again. Do you have any thoughts on how I can tap for this?


photo by Darren Hester

Anger is a powerful and wonderful emotion. It exists to keep us safe. It is the power that allows us to fight back when we are being attacked. It sharpens our focus and it gives us strength.

But it is also a very primitive emotion. It is not always very discerning. It can take the smallest slight and perceive it as an attack. When it does this it raises its ugly head. Because it is such a powerful emotion it is important to clean it out at the roots.

One of my favorite techniques for working with anger is to give it the time, space, and power to yell it self out. Anger doesn't persist when it doesn't have something pushing back on it.

[Note: It is important to note that you should only try this technique in a space that is safe where you are not going to let the anger get the best of you.]

We begin by tapping. I have my client then move from tapping point to tapping point throughout the whole process.

Next, I have my clients tune in to the anger. I do this my having them notice how it feels in the body. Is it fists that want to punch, fire in the veins, a voice that wants to scream, or a series of thoughts running through their mind?

After they have described to me what the anger feels like I have them breathe life and energy into the anger. I have then take a number of deep breathes. As the oxygen enters the body I instruct them to feel it powering the anger.

Once the anger has grown into its full power I ask them to just let the anger scream it self out. I give them the option to do this in their head or to do it out loud. If there is someone they are angry at I encourage them to have the anger yell anything and everything it needs to say.

After I have them do this for a while and they feel like they are done I have them do it some more. And then I have them do it some more. And then I have them do it some more until the anger has just shouted itself out.

It is amazing how quickly anger can lose its power when it doesn't have something fighting against it or trying to hold it back. By doing this while tapping it just makes the whole process happen faster.

After you have done this to the point of boredom it is good to check in to see what new emotions are at the front of the mind. Many times the anger is not the root issue, but once the anger has gotten itself out of the way it now creates space for us to work on the root cause.

Once the deep root is revealed it is going to make it much more likely for the anger to not come back because instead of just dealing with the symptom of anger, you are able to get to what is much deeper.

Bonus Pod #20: The Round-Up

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photo by padams

Back in the fall I asked 10 practitioners that I admire and respect to answer 5 questions about the healing process, the healing journey, and their work with clients.

The questions I asked them were:

  • What lessons have you learned about healing from a client?
  • What is something you have changed your mind about when it comes to healing, working with clients, or your own transformation process?
  • If you were to start your own healing journey over again what would you do differently?
  • What is one thing you wish your clients believed about themselves?
  • What is one thing you wish your clients believed about healing process?

You can check out their answers in the Round Up Archive

Let me know your answers in the comment section below.

Pod #57: Tools v Delivery, Clearing Resistance, Finding Roots Cause, and Worry v Fear

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This is a slightly different type of podcast. Instead of a straightforward teaching or an interview it is much more a conversation. The topic of the conversation with my friend Jondi Whitis where we talk about using tapping protocols and how we find our ways to core issues.

  • Techniques/Tools v Art of Delivery
  • Simple v Complex
  • Stories about how we chance and how that effects how we chance
  • How we find our ways the right tapping phrases
  • Resistance and the absence of resistance
  • The eraser in my pocket
  • How do we find the core issues better
  • How to get clients to find more information about the issues
  • The power of shutting up and listening (aka the comfortable silence)
  • Choosing the issue to start with
  • Worry v Fear
  • How to talk about issues (esp. with kids)

Pod #56: Ritual, Daily Routine, And Find Peace w/ Jesse Jacobs

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Today's podcast is an interview with Jesse Jacobs and is little different. I first heard Jesse interviewed by Dan Benjamin on the business show “The Pipeline“. Dan was interviewing Jesse about the tea house that he runs in San Francisco. What caught my attention was the last five minutes of the interview in which he started to talk about his use of the power of ritual in creating work that he loves and a life that nourishes him.

In this interview we spend a little time talking about how he moved from being a techie to creating a space where people could relax, be at peace, and make real connections with others. The bulk of the interview is spent talking about this idea of ritual, its power, how it can ground us, and how we can add daily ritual to our lives.

I find this interview helpful in two ways. First, it opened my eyes to the power of being in the moment (especially when it comes to all the senses). Second, we look at how we can create a daily ritual (like tapping) to create grounding for our day.

 

Jesse Jacobs

Guest: Jesse Jacobs

Contact: web @ Samovar tea houses; web @ Jesse's blog Real Ritual; twitter @realritua

About Jesse: Jesse Jacobs is the founder Samovar Tea Lounge. The goal of Samovar is to be the “antidote to the frenzied world”. In addition to running Samovar Jesse writes the blog Real Ritual that focuses on being grounded in the moment in the different aspects of our lives.

Jesse lists the “Tenets of the Real Ritual Life” as Love Yourself, Go Slow, Drink Tea, Be Art, Embrace Change, Just Focus and Breathe.

When Caregivers Are Careworn

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[Note from Gene: It is very easy for those of use take care of other to choose to not take care of our selves. In this article Jondi Whitis offers some insight in how we can approach taking care of ourselves as we care for others.]


photo by Rob Ireton

All of us are caregivers at one time or another, and as energy practitioners, we're certainly caregivers, but what happens to those among us who choose this as a full-time vocation? Or those among us suddenly thrust into this role as a long-term situation?

Caregiving is challenging and spiritual work, in my book. It's intensity and duration make it particularly grueling in some cases, and it's critically important to get your batteries “put in correctly”, as Gary Craig would say, as well as to keep those batteries charged!

I don't know about you, but I am clear about this part of my capabilities. I see it like I see an athlete's:

I am a Sprinter. Not a Marathoner. I have gifts and passion for the instant bolt and the intense, deep, bursts of effort that a Sprinter would use to run and win the dash. But the skillset that a Marathoner owns feels daunting to me. The very long, drawn-out, frequently intense, day-to-day efforts that a full-time caregiver faces make these people heroic in my eyes.

Do you know some of each type? Good. Recognizing our strengths, and those of others, allows us to connect with one another, making each party stronger still. It sets up a natural teaching environment whereby we learn from one another, and celebrate each new skill on this journey we travel together. Supporting one another in this way not only keeps our tools sharp, but our hearts open, our egos in check, and eyes wide open to the mystery and wonder of healing, within us and all around us.

Why not give yourself a little gift today? Give yourself the gift of insight.

First, look at yourself with a loving eye and ask: which kind of runner ARE you? (And let that be marvelous, no matter what the answer.)

Second, truly see another you admire and give thanks for their gifts. Contact them, tell them what you admire about them, then share an insight or observation that's worked really well for you. Open yourself, your ears and heart to receive their insights, in return.

Third, linked by your Intentions to help and heal others as well as yourselves, tap a little for yourself.

Note: Enter into this tapping session with gladness, that you can give of yourself to some who gives wholly of themselves each day to another. Set your Intention together to restore, strengthen and find new springs or energy, resourcefulness, peacefulness and compassion within.

KC: Even though I am weary and I there is no end to this in sight, I want to accept myself.
KC: Even though I am so tired, and don't know if I can continue this way, I really do want to accept myself, and I'm doing the best that I can.
KC: Even though I don't know how much more of this I can take, I accept that this is how I really feel, and some days that has to be enough. I want to accept myself even on days like this.
TH: I'm exhausted.
EB: Really exhausted.
SE: It never lets up. It's overwhelming.
UE: What if it never lets up? It's never-ending.
UN: I'm so tired, so….I don't know how to keep going when I feel this way.
CH: What if I can't? Then what?
CB: It's terrifying to think I can't go on, but it's also terrifying to think what if I CAN? Just because I CAN, does that mean I have to? And for how long?
UA: Is there any good end to this?
UN: I can't think of one right now. I'm not feeling very resourceful. Just alone. Just exhausted.
WR: Too tired! Can't think, can only do – and barely that! Alone and exhausted.
KC: Too tired, too exhausted, hard to keep this up. Don't even know if I want to!

KC: Even though I find it hard to keep going; is there any good end to this? I do accept myself. Most of the time, anyway.
KC: Even though I am worried; what if I can't continue on this way? What if I have to? I really do want to accept myself, and this is the best I can do right now. I'm pretty sure that's the truth.
KC: Even though I feel that if I ask for help or tell anyone how I'm feeling they'll think I'm a bad person, I accept this is how I really feel. Don't I get to feel like being helped, too? I accept myself and this feeling.
TH: I don't know if I can go on this way, so tired and feeling guilty.
EB: Exhausted and guilty. Really? Hmm, maybe not guilty, maybe just….alone and unhappy.
SE: This tiredness that makes my brain hurt, that makes me feel burnt-out. And why'd I ever think I'd be good at this? Did I really have a choice? It's hard to tell anymore.
UE: What about ME? Did I just say that?! What if that is actually okay?
UN: Maybe it's not my fault.
CH: Maybe it's not their fault, either. Maybe it's no one's fault. I'm just exhausted, that's all.
CB: Maybe I could just use a little break. Maybe I could use a little ‘care', too.
UA: Is it possible I could get help, too? That it's okay to ask? Who would I ask, anyway?
UN: I can't ask for that – I'M the caregiver – I'M the one who…..the one who what?
WR: Maybe I could ask. Maybe someone would help. I don't know. I'm willing to consider it, anyway.
KC: Even caregivers need care, I guess. How would that feel? Could I let that feel good?

KC: Even though I find it hard to ask for help, I accept myself. I really do.
KC: Even though I'm supposed to be the caregiver, maybe I need care, too. And I really do want to feel better, like my old self. Maybe this is the best I can do right now, though. Maybe I really do accept me.
KC: Even if I ask for help or tell anyone how I'm feeling and they won't listen, could that be okay just to try it? I accept that I feel nervous about saying this out loud, about asking for help.
TH: Maybe I'm not a bad person, to ask for help. Maybe it doesn't make me weak or look bad to ask for help.
EB: Maybe I could reach out. Maybe no one actually knows what a toll this is taking on me.
SE: What if they reject me? What if they say, “No.” Is there anyone else I could talk to?
UE: Maybe I need to say it to someone new. Maybe there's help out there for me I didn't know about.
UN: I don't know what I'm doing anymore, but I'm willing to admit I need some help here.
CH: I don't even know where to begin. I'm nervous about asking for help and being rejected.
CB: I'm nervous either way. What if they say “Okay.” What if they don't?
UA: Either way, I might feel better, just saying it out loud.
UN: Maybe I could say it out loud and feel better.
WR: I really do want to feel better. I already do feel a little better. Hmmm.
KC: Maybe I will reach out. Who knows what could happen? Maybe something good. What's the worst that could happen? I've heard the word “No” before. I can take it. But what if it's a “Yes.” What if I could have help? What if I could get a break, and feel better?

You can reach Jondi at EFTbrooklyn.com, or hear her interviews with EFT experts on EFT Radio On-Line on BlogTalkRadio; she specializes in helping others help themselves with the loving power of EFT, humor, warmth and forgiveness.