We know that we have to be healthy in order to be helpful to other people, but sometimes it can be really hard to make time to care for ourselves. We feel like we already have so much that it is hard care for ourselves.
Today we have a great little tap along to help you be OK with tapping for ourselves. (AND if there is a part of you that felt like you shouldn't do this, then it is telling you to do it now.)
One of the really nice things about tapping is that we can jump right into dealing with an issue without the need for a complicated set-up or time consuming relaxation process before we begin.
Even though we can jump right in there are a few things we can do to ensure we get the most out of our tapping time. It is helpful to be grounded in the moment, to be grounded in our physical bodies, open to healing, and aware of the healing power of our system.
Here is a quick 5 step process that does all of these things. Once you have it mastered it is the perfect way to start a tapping session.
Video Transcript
Hi everyone, this is Gene Monterastelli, the Editor of TappingQandA.com and welcome to another Tapping Ninja video. We call them Tapping Ninja because like a ninja's punch, they're super, super powerful but they're also super quick. These are things that you could add to your tapping repertoire right away that will make a huge difference.
Today what I'd like to share with you is how I start a session. Now I use this with my clients as well as tapping on my own. There are five simple parts to it and what I'm going to do is walk you through each of the five parts and explain why I do each of the steps. To begin with like most tapping all we do is we start by tapping on the side of the hand. But instead of using the set-up phrase, what we're going to do is we’re just going to take a nice deep breath and you can go ahead and do that right now.
Now when we get to tapping on a specific issue, then we're going to reintroduce the setup phrase but for now, just tap here and take a couple of deep breaths. And it just sets the tone, it starts to get you relaxed and it starts to clear some of that reversal.
Now, step number two, what we’re going to do is we're going to take both hands, we're going to tap under the eyes and as we tap under the eyes, again another nice deep breath. But this time what we're going to do is we’re just going to feel ourselves grounded in our physical body. Now it's really easy for us to be distracted from our physical body. Our minds are all over the place. And we’re not as grounded as we once were when we don't do work or we're using our body every day. And so it's really easy to be disconnected from the body. The body has so much information about the healing that we want to happen and the issues that are at hand, it's really important we find ourselves in our body. So tap under the eyes, take a nice deep breath. And just tune in to the body. You don't need to say any phrases. You don't need to do anything specific, just pay attention to the whole physical system.
Now for step number three, what we're going to do is we’re going to tap on the collarbone with both hands but instead of tapping like this what we're going to do is we're going to cross our hands, nice and simple. And by crossing our hands what we’re going to do is we’re going to clear some of the switching that happens and some of the reversals. Again, take a nice deep breath. This time what we're going to do is we're going to feel ourselves grounded in this moment. It's really easy for us to be distracted in a million places all at once. When we’re doing tapping work, it's really important we’re here and now so we can pay attention to what's happening. So again, it's really simple to do. All we're doing is we’re putting ourselves into this moment right here. To do that, cross your hands, take a nice deep breath, and just feel yourself in this moment.
Now for step four, what we're going to do is we're going to take a fist and we're going to tap nice and gentle right in the center of chest. Now, if this is painful, don't do it. And don't do anything that causes you physical pain while tapping. If this is painful, you can rub, you can just place your hand there. If you can tap, go ahead and tap. And what you're going to do is you're going to tune in to the amazing healing power of your body.
So try this out and I'll lead you through it:
I really appreciate my physical system…It does so many amazing things in subconscious and unconscious ways day and night, for my health and my wellbeing…I so appreciate the fact that I don't have to give conscious attention to many of these healing processes…I know my system isn't perfect…I know it isn't completely efficient all the time but I really appreciate the fact that it works in subconscious and unconscious ways for my health and my well-being…So I don't have to give it conscious attention so I can put my attention in other places throughout my day…Nice deep breath.
And part of what this is doing is just like setting the table by creating the rapport with our system so we can really move then and do some deep powerful work.
Step number five is really simple. What we're going to do is we're going to tap on our chin. Go ahead and do it. And as we tap on our chin, what we're going to do is we're going to set the system up to know that this is a safe time for us to heal. And again, I'm just going to lead you through it. Tap on your chin. Take a nice deep breath.
As I tap today, I'm going to find my way to physical sensations, emotions, memories, limiting beliefs…I want my system to know that as I do this work today, there's no judgment here…Whatever information comes forward, I appreciate… And even if the system doesn't understand it and I don't consciously understand the information that's coming forward, I appreciate the fact that that information is coming forward because even if I don't understand it, it will help facilitate the healing process…My time here is set aside for healing, health and well-being. I give this system permission to allow that to happen…There's no judgment here… Whatever information that needs to come forward, I'll be glad to receive it.
And so what we're doing there is we're just setting ourselves up to have a really successful session. There are lots of things where we've had in the past choices that we're not happy with. We don't like the choices we made originally or we don't like the way we responded to something or we don't like the way we remembered something. By giving ourselves permission to know that it's okay. That there's no judgment here, it's going to be easier for us to open ourselves up to find our way to those root causes.
Really that's all there is to it. Five simple steps. Start by tapping on the side of the hand. Taking a nice deep breath. Tap onto the eyes, deep breath. Grounding your physical body. Collarbone, crossed hands, deep breath, ground in this moment, center of the chest, tune in to the amazing healing power of the body. Tap on the chin. Give yourself permission to know that there's no judgment here. Whatever comes forward is useful and helpful and powerful. And it’s just that simple. Now you can dive in and do your regular tapping. Whatever it is, tap on the side of the hand, tune in to your set-up phrase and off you go.
The really cool thing about this little set-up technique is, it doesn't have to be a set-up. It can actually be all the tapping you do. Take 45 seconds or a minute to do this and what it's going to do is it just going to move you to this moment. It's going to help you to let go of the worries of the future. It's going to help you to let go of any nagging regret that you're pulling from the past. It's going to put you in this moment which will make it easier for you to make good choices and be present to those around you. That's all there is to it. Five simple steps.
This is Gene Monterastelli for Tapping Q and A. If you'd like to see more videos just like this one, all you need to do is go to TappingQandA.com/video. We've got lots of super short, super powerful instructional videos. I'll talk to you real soon. Bye-bye.
Question: I have a great list of goals. I know what I want. I know why I want to achieve them. I just can’t seem to move forward. How can I use tapping to move towards my goals?
photo by l@mie |
I spend a great deal of time working with clients helping them to move forward towards their goals. In most cases my clients have some sense of where they would like to take their lives and even know the steps that need to be followed.
For some reason they are stuck. They look at their to-do list which is the same list they made the day before with nothing crossed off.
I have found that there are 5 common reasons that we don't take the actions we know we will improve our lives. As you read through them you may notice that a number of them apply to you.
Even if you don't think you are experiencing one of the reasons listed take the 60 seconds it takes to tap through the script. You will be surprised at the issues you didn't know were there that are cleared.
It's very simple. If you don't know where you are going then there is no way to get there. Knowing what you want is a sliding scale of understanding. For example, there is a difference between wanting a new job, wanting a new teaching job, and wanting a new teaching job where you don't have to teach summer school, that pays for graduate classes, and that doesn't suck your will to live.
It is possible to have too specific a definition of what you want that cripples you and holds you in one place, but that is unlikely. It is much more likely that because you don't have a clear vision of what you want, it is hard to move forward as you don't know what your next step should be.
Do you have a clear vision for your goal? If not try tapping with this:
I know I want better…but I am not exactly sure what that looks like…I just know it is not what I currently have…I know that if I give myself permission to dream a little…to take a step back…I can come up with a clearer vision of what I want…there might be a part of me that is worried about moving forward in this way…if I have a clear vision of what I want it is going to point out everything I don't have…it is going to point out how far I am from my goal…it feels safer to not tune into these goals…because I don't have to face the facts of where I am…but I need to have good idea of where I am going…if I want to get there…I give myself permission to dream a little…to see what I really want…it is closer than I think…I just need to start moving forward.
I think the most powerful force in helping us to move towards our goals is understanding why we want what we want. Many times what we want is really just a tool to get us to what we really want. I might say that I want to make a million dollars this year. That is a clear goal and it is something I can tell if I have achieved it.
The problem with this type of goal is that there is very little life behind it. It is just a number with a bunch of zeros after it. It is not real and it is difficult to have the motivation to move towards this imaginary number feeling.
On the other hand, knowing why I want this goal will keep me focused. If I want a million dollars this year so that I can stop the debt collection calls, take those classes that are going to take my client sessions to the next level, be able to help my parents so they can retire, and make sure the small school I love keeps its doors open, then that is something I can wrap my heart around.
It is in the why where we find our motivation. We might have known it when we created our goal list, but have since lost touch with it.
Do you know why you want your goals? If not tap to this:
I know what I want…I have given it a great deal of thought…at one point I even knew why I wanted these things…but I have lost touch with that knowledge…I know that if I take the time to reconnect with the reason why I want these things…then I am going to find my way back to my motivation…and my mojo…it is going to make it easier for me to take the steps I need to take to get closer to my goals…it is important that I remind myself why I want what I want…this will help me in the times when it is hard to act…there are times when I am going to be able to get past hurdles…and lack of energy…to move to what I want…when I remember why I want it…[keep tapping and state the reasons you want to achieve the goals you have named…keep tapping…keep coming up with reasons.]
I was senior in high school. Her name was Kelly. I called her and asked her out on a date. Thankfully she said “no”.
No really…it was a good thing. We had nothing in common. I don't know what we would have talked about. I asked her out because she was the girl I was supposed to ask out based on the social politics of my high school.
There are times when we have goals not because we think they are right for us, but because there are people in our lives who think achieving them would be a good thing for us to do. It could be a certain job, marrying a certain person, or getting a certain qualification. Because we don’t want it for ourselves we are never really going to move towards it.
Do you have a goal that isn't really a goal you want? Then you can tap like this:
There is a goal that I have been working towards…but it isn’t something that I want…it is something that others want for me…they think it is something that will make me happy…or successful…but it is coming from their definition of happy and successful…it is not my definition…they want it for me because they want what is best for me…but it is not what is best for me…it is ok if I have my own definition of success…it is ok if I move towards the goals I want for me…this can be hard because I have been working towards this goal for a while…it will feel like I am giving up…because I have spent so much time and effort working in this direction…but I need to work towards achieving the goals that are right for me…not right for someone else…I give myself permission to let go of other people’s goals for me…I only have so much time…and so much energy…I need to invest that in things I really want for myself…it is ok that I name the things I really want for myself…I will work towards those things…this is my life…they love me…they want what is best for me…but I am going to work towards what I need for myself.
Sometimes there is a clear sense of what we want, why we want it, and know it is our goal and not someone else’s. When the rubber meets the road there is resistance to moving forward because lots of things could go wrong when we try. It might be too big for us or we might not know how or we might fail or we might not have a clear idea of where we are going.
We like to know that we are going to be successful. It is human nature.
Are you afraid to put forth effort because of what might go wrong? Then tap like this:
I know what I want…I know why I want it…but there is a part of me that is worried about trying to get it…if I try I could fail…if I try I could find out that I am not good enough…if I try I could look foolish to the people around me…if I try I could let everyone know I have no idea what I am doing…these are all real fears…it is ok that I have these fears…because this is a part of me that wants me to be safe as I try to move forward…but I need to try…yes…I might fail…yes…I might look foolish…yes…it might be hard…but I need to try…I give myself permission to know that I am not going to be perfect…I am going to make mistakes…I am not going to get it right…but each step I take forward is going to move me closer to what I want…maybe it won't be a perfect step…maybe it won't even be the right step…but it is going to help me to learn what the wrong steps are so I don't take them again…I give myself permission to know that I am not going to be perfect in working to my goals…and that is ok…I am not going to do everything exactly right…I give myself permission to be easy with myself as I make choices and take action…I give myself permission to move forward in an imperfect way
It is hard to believe, but there are people in our lives who don’t want us to change. More precisely, there are people in our life who want us to change as long as it doesn’t require them to change as well.
We don't live in a vacuum. The changes I make in one part of my life are going to affect other parts of my life. For example, if I decided to go back to school it is going to impact the amount of time I have to spend with my family.
Also, when we take action it shines a light on the lives of our loved ones and the lack of change they are experiencing. We can cause feelings of jealousy and resentment.
On some level we are aware of these things happening. Sometimes it is very obvious when loved ones resist our change and other times it happens as passive aggressive undercurrent to our interactions. We don't like to upset our loved ones and so there is a part of us that will prevent us from taking action because we know how it is going to “hurt” others.
Are you avoiding taking action because on some level your success is going to “harm” a loved one or a relationship? Then tap on this:
I know my choices impact others…our lives are knitted together in many ways…when I add new activities to my life it means I have less time for things I have done in the past…when I move forward it is going to bring attention to the fact that others are choosing not to move forward…I don't want to make other people's lives harder…I don't want to hurt my loved ones…but I know I need to move forward…I have goals that I need to work towards…to be who I want to be…when I have success I am going to be myself more fully…which means I will be able to share myself with my loved ones in different ways…also, I don't have control over the emotional state of my loved ones…if they want to be bent out of shape because of my choices that is up to them…but I can't let their possible emotions hold me back…I need to move forward for myself…it is ok for me to make choices for myself…I need to move forward in this way…I can't let how others feel about my success hold me back…I give myself permission to move forward.
Your goals aren’t going to happen on their own. You need to take action. Even if you just take these 5 scripts and tap on each of them every morning you will see a difference. That is right, just taking the 3 minutes it takes to tap through these will remove resistance to change. You will take one more step towards your goal.
Which really is a powerful thing.
If you are looking for a more comprehensive tool for clearing blocks to taking action, check out The 10 Steps To Getting Out Of Your Own Way To Get What You Want
Let me know your thoughts on what is holding you back from your goals and what has helped you to break those barriers down by commenting below.
I don’t know about you, but I constantly find myself answering questions about EFT and tapping. It is great that we can draw from on personal experience (and the experience of those with whom we work) when sharing about tapping, but in many cases this is not enough. It is useful to have structured, peer-reviewed scientific studies to build the wall of proof that so many are looking for.
To that end I have something in two parts that will help you respond to people who are looking for scientific proof about tapping and EFT. First, I have an interview with Dawson Church, PhD about completed research studies, on-going research studies, and planned research studies. Second, I have a summary of many of the recent studies to make it easier for you to talk about them.
 Brad Yates |
Guest: Dawson Church, Ph.D
Contact: web @ EFTUniverse.com
Bio: Dawson Church is the author/coauthor of 8 books (including The Genie In Your Genes) and manages the web site EFTUniverse.com. He travels the world as a trainer and speaker. His passion is tapping and getting tapping into the hands of those who could benefit most from its power.
A complete and regularly updated list of the latest research can be found @ http://bit.ly/EFTResearch
Support the on going research to demonstrate the efficacy of Tapping/EFT @ Soul Medicine Institute/
“While many important EFT research questions remain to be answered, a great deal of groundwork is already in place: EFT has been researched in more than 7 countries, by more than 60 investigators, whose results have been published in more than 15 different peer-reviewed journals. These include distinguished top-tier journals such as Journal of Clinical Psychology, the APA journals Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training and Review of General Psychology, and the oldest psychiatric journal in the US, the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease. EFT research includes investigators affiliated with many different institutions. In the US, these range from Harvard Medical School, to the University of California at Berkeley, to City University of New York, to Walter Reed Army Medical Center (USUHS), to Texas A&M University. Institutions in other countries whose faculty have contributed to EFT research include Lund University (Sweden), Ankara University (Turkey), Santo Tomas University (Philippines), Lister Hospital (England), Cesar Vallejo University (Peru), and Griffith University (Australia). The wide variety of institutions, peer-reviewed journals, investigators, and settings that have, in independent research, found EFT to be efficacious, are one indication of the breadth of existing research results.” EFTUnivers.com
Below are highlights of some of the outcomes of the studies:
Efficacy of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) in Reducing Public Speaking Anxiety – EFT show to greatly reduce anxiety in all areas for those who used EFT.
The Effect of a Brief EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Self-Intervention on Anxiety, Depression, Pain and Cravings in Healthcare Workers – Significant improvements were found on all distress subscales and ratings of pain, emotional distress, and cravings at posttest.
Psychological Symptom Change in Veterans After Six Sessions of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) – Symptom severity decreased significantly by 40%, anxiety decreased 46%, depression 49%, and PTSD 50%. These gains were maintained at the 90-day follow-up.
Self-administered EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) in Individuals with Fibromyalgia – Pain catastrophizing measures, such as rumination, magnification and helplessness, were significantly reduced, and the activity level was significantly increased.
EFT, WHEE, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Treatment of Test Anxiety in University Students – 2 session of EFT or WHEE produced the same results as 5 session of CBT. EFT and WHEE students successfully transferred their self-treatment skills to other stressful areas of their lives.
Brief Group Intervention Using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) for Depression in College Students – The EFT group had significantly less depression than the control group at posttest, scoring in the “non-depressed” range.
Psychological and Physiological Symptoms of Psoriasis After Group EFT Treatment – Participants experienced significant improvement in functioning and psychological, emotional, and physical symptoms. Relief was often immediate and sustained, and improved over time (1 and 3 months).
When we first learn to tap we feel very empowered. All of a sudden we have a great tool that we can use anytime and anywhere.
As good as this feels, that good feeling can pass. At a certain point in the healing process it is very common to feel like we have wasted lots of time. We ask ourselves, “Why didn't I do this sooner?”
It is easy to beat ourselves up over this. If you are feeling bad about not starting the healing process sooner I have a great little tap along for you.