Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Tapping To Let Go Of Pleasing Others (w/ tapping script)

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Back in April Seth Godin wrote on his blog:

You will never, ever run out of strangers.

And so, the goal of perfectly pleasing an infinite number of passersby is a fool's errand. They come with their own world view, their own issues, their own biases.

Not only is this true for a world full of strangers, it is also true for the much smaller group of people in your life.

No two people you know are alike, have the same world view, or will be pleased by the same things.

Every choice you make about your life risks disappointing someone.

That is just a fact of life.

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Pod #141: How To Approach Perfectionism with Tapping and EFT

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perfectionism

One of the key reasons my clients don't take action is because of perfectionistic tendencies.

The tendencies show up because there is a part of our system that is trying to keep us safe. We are worried that if something isn't done just right then things will go wrong. We keep working and working until something is perfect so nothing goes wrong.

The problem is that we will never arrive at perfection so therefore we will never act.

A few weeks ago I was interviewed by Adele Wang about how I understand and approach perfectionism with my clients.

If you struggle with perfectionistic tendencies I think you will find this point of view helpful.

If you are interested in learning more about Adele's see below.

Daily Tapping For Perfectionism

Over at the Ruach Center there are over 35 tap-along audios devoted to helping to clear perfectionistic tendencies. If you are ready to stop perfectionism from holding you back from taking the action you know you need to take you should check it out today!


Adele Wang

Guest Host: Adele Wang

Contact Adele: web @ SafeHavenHealing.net; YouTube @ Adele Wang

About Adele: Adele helps smart and sensitive women break through the stress of perfectionism and overwhelm so they can have better relationships, more professional success and better health. With an energy medicine and EFT background, she works with women to clear anxiety without the use of drugs so they can reclaim their lives and their natural feminine radiance. She is a licensed Art of Feminine Presence instructor, a frequent guest blogger on websites devoted to spirituality and consciousness, an advanced energy healer, and an EFT practitioner. She works with clients via Skype and in person in her office in Atlanta, GA.

Pod #140: EFT For Social Anxiety w/ Helen Walker

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There is no question that our world is becoming increasingly complicated as our down time diminishes.

Because we are being pulled in so many different directions with little time to process our experiences it is easy to feel disquieted. In extreme cases this can develop into full-blown social anxiety.

In this conversation Helen Walker talks about how we can identify the roots of social anxiety in this sense of overwhelm and disconnection from what is important in life.

If you are are feeling overwhelmed by your day you will find what Helen has to offer very helpful.


Helen Walker

Guest: Helen Walker

Contact: web @ eft-guide.com/

About: Helen is an internationally recognised EFT expert, writer and training consultant. She is a highly qualified EFT Practitioner and is also the European Lead EFT Trainer for the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP).

The Problem With Priorities, Overwhelm, And How To Tap For Them (w/ Tapping Script)

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You-eventually-learn that-true

Merlin Mann is a technologist, a productivity specialist, and a professional provocateur. I mention the last part because he has the tendency to say things that are true and useful, but in a rather blunt way.

During one of his fabulous podcasts (Back To Work) he was describing a question and answer session with a group of top level executives at a very large company.

One of the execs was asking about how to manage her time and her inbox. She was describing how she had so many priorities that it was impossible to get anything done.

Merlin asked her how many priorities she had. Without skipping a beat she replied, “Twenty-seven!”

Merlin’s response: “You eventually learn that true priorities are like arms; if you think you have more than a couple, you're either lying or crazy.”

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The Root Of My Issues

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Can't see the image? Click display. Last week I met up with a friend to catch up over a couple of drinks.

As always, the topic of my dating life came up. Since we had last chatted there wasn't anything new to share.

Interesting first dates that didn't lead to second dates. Dates who were really interested and interesting who ended up ghosting [1]. Chances to try new restaurants and bars in the city.

Really, it was just more of the same.

My friend said incredulously, “I don't know what is wrong with them!” referring to the women I’d dated.

I appreciated the support but I was stuck by one fact.

Every single one these interactions had one thing in common.

It wasn't the way I was treated. It wasn't the fact that I felt undervalued or misunderstood.

And that one thing?

ME!

Patterns

When doing any sort of analysis or problem solving one of the fundamental principles I use is: “Once is an anomaly. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern.”

When I look at my dating/relationship history honestly (or as honestly as any of us can do with self-reflection) I see lots of patterns: spending time with the wrong people, dating people with only a short term goal in mind, and not communicating clearly (as in not letting my ‘no’ mean ‘no’ and my ‘yes’ mean ‘yes’).

I don't have control over the people who choose to go out with me, but I do control the type of people I seek, how I seek them, and how I act once I have connected with them.

Almost all of my recent dating experience has at least one of those things in common (most have more than one).

Things I Can Change

Because of this revelation I have decided that I need to spend some time daily tapping on my relationship fears. All of my unhelpful patterns can be traced back to my fears around being seen and being rejected.

Doing this work doesn't mean that I will end up in a lasting love relationship, but it does mean that I am much less likely to continue making the choices standing in the way of that type of relationship.

Taking Responsibility

This work is not about fault or claiming that we are the sole creator of everything we experience. Others have free will and their choices impact us.

This work IS about taking responsibility for ourselves and our role in creating our experience. It is about recognizing that we are present for all of our issues.

What this means for me is that I need to look clearly at my own experience, recognize the parts for which I am responsible, and take ownership of those parts.

If this is something you would like to do too, here are some tapping phrases to start you on the right path:

I recognize the fact that there are things in the world beyond my control…I recognize that there are things in the world that I DO control…And I recognize that I tend to believe I have much less control than I actually do…I am not the sole creator of my experience…I am co-creating my day and my life with everyone I interact with…I choose to take responsibility for the things that I do control…I can control my thoughts…I can control my emotions…I can control my actions…Often it is easier to let the world act on me and my life…It is easier just to react…Claiming that I don't have control…Today I choose to take more responsibility for my own life…Today I choose to recognize that I am present in all my issues…Today I choose to recognize that I can make different choices…This doesn't mean everything will change all at once…But by being more aware I am more likely to make better choices…Regardless of what choice I make next…I know I can learn from that choice as well.

I hope you find this point of view helpful.

I know it is changing the way I live day to day.

[1] Ghosting: the act of disappearing in a phantom-like fashion from someone you are seeing.