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She went from feeling suicidal to never cutting again!

August 7, 2020 by Gene Monterastelli

Trigger warning: In this email I share the story of a very intense client session that references self-harm.

Good morning,

I hope you have had the chance to listen to the podcast that was released on Wednesday. It is an amazing conversation with Mark Wolynn, who happens to be one of my favorite guests.

The podcast explores the difference between attachment trauma and generational trauma.

To start the conversation Mark shared the story of a client he worked with a few years ago. His client “Sarah” was struggling with some deep-seated emotional issues that manifested in physically cutting herself, but unlike most cutters she would cut very deeply near a major vein.

This landed Sarah in the emergency room a number of times and then in an inpatient facility, which is where Mark started working with her. The outline of Sarah's treatment was:

  • Mark had Sarah hold a pen to her arm like she would a knife and asked her what she was thinking
  • Sarah said “I don't deserve to live”
  • Mark asked why she felt that way, and what she believed had done to merit this punishment
  • Sarah couldn't find a response to that question
  • With this Mark realized that Sarah's struggle wasn't about her own trauma, but rather a generational trauma that she was carrying for her grandmother who had crashed a car and killed her grandfather
  • Using some of his drama therapy skills, Mark worked with Sarah and had her interact with both of her grandparents, which created deep healing
  • Sarah's father came in at the end of the session and Mark and Sarah shared what they had been working on, triggering an emotional response from Sarah's father
  • Mark did some more work with Sarah and her father together

AND Sarah never cut herself again.

There are two takeaways for me from this.

First, gaining a better understanding of attachment trauma and general trauma has made me a better practitioner.

Second, it is amazing to hear a skilled practitioner talk about their process. Mark is very honest in the interview about the moments in which he was trying the first thing that instinctively came to mind and when he was using a specific tool. He moves seamlessly from asking good questions, to parts work, to family systems work, to generational healing.

When I use the term “art of delivery” this is exactly what I am talking about, because being able to tap in that way doesn't happen by accident.

Mastering the art of delivery is the ability to understand how the healing process works, where the client is emotionally in the moment, having multiple tools at your disposal for uncovering information around the issues, and then being able to tap in the most effective way.

That is why I created the Mastering the Art of Delivery training.

Even if you never find yourself in a situation where you are working with someone in such acute distress as Sarah, the better you are at the art of delivery, the better results you will see when tapping with clients or on your own.

I am offering this training four times over the next few weeks. Each weekend has a different start time to accommodate people in different parts of the world, so that everyone can take the class in daylight hours:

  • August 22nd and 23rd – Eastern North America and South America
  • August 29th and 30th – Western North America
  • September 5th and 6th – Asia, Australia, and New Zealand
  • September 12th and 13th – Europe, Africa, and the Middle East

You don't have to go to the weekend that is geared for your part of the world, just choose whichever one works best for you.

You can find full details on the training here: http://MasteringTheArtOfDelivery.com

Use the discount code “art” for 50% off.

As of the writing of this note there are only 4 seats left in the first weekend.

This is your opportunity to move from having tapping work for you to using tapping in a way that takes less effort, is quicker, and creates longer lasting results.

Sign up use the discount code “art” for 50% off: http://MasteringTheArtOfDelivery.com

If you have any questions about the training, please let me know.

Gene

PS: If you would like to take the class, but need to pay for it with a payment plan, please let me know. We can work out something that works for you.

Filed Under: Notes

Pod #473: Attachment Trauma v Generational Trauma w/ Mark Wolynn

August 5, 2020 by Gene Monterastelli

In the most basic terms it means that if one of our parents has a fear of water because of a traumatic instance in their life it is very likely we will have the same fear because it is in our DNA.

I believe that one of the most important discoveries in the study of trauma is the recognition that trauma can be passed down from generation to generation through our genetic code.

In the most basic terms, it means that if one of our parents has a fear of water because of a traumatic incident in their life, it is highly likely we will have the same fear because it is in our DNA.

The good news is that just because it is in our DNA, does not mean we are stuck with it forever. It just requires a different approach for the transformation because we don't have a specific memory to tap on.

In my first interview with Mark we talked about how trauma can be passed down through our epigenetics. This time we talk about how to identify if something is a generational trauma or an attachment trauma (in other words, something that has happened to us) through recognizing what he calls “trauma language”. The language we use to describe our trauma will help us to tell which type of trauma it is.

Take the time to dive into this one. I recommend that you listen to it twice.

Support the podcast!

Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Guest: Mark Wolynn

Contact: web @ MarkWolynn.com; facebook @ Mark Wolynn

About: Mark Wolynn, director of The Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, is a leading expert in the field of inherited family trauma. A sought-after lecturer, he has taught at the University of Pittsburgh, the Western Psychiatric Institute, Kripalu, The Omega Institute, The New York Open Center, and The California Institute of Integral Studies. Mark specializes in working with depression, anxiety, obsessive thoughts, fears, panic disorders, self-injury, chronic pain and persistent symptoms and conditions. His book IT DIDN’T START WITH YOU: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle (Viking/Penguin) is the winner of the 2016 Nautilus Book Award in psychology. His articles have appeared in Psychology Today, Mind Body Green, MariaShriver.com, Elephant Journal, and Psych Central.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Generational Trauma, Mark Wolynn, Trauma

Pod #472: Not knowing what to say when tapping w/ Nancy Forrester

July 29, 2020 by Gene Monterastelli

Especially for beginners, and sometimes for more skilled tappers, knowing what to say and where to start is often the part of tapping that trips people up.

Just because we recognize the fact that the words themselves aren't magic and that there is no such thing as the perfect tapping phase, does not mean it's easy to start when we are experiencing a lot of mixed emotions all at once.

In this conversation Nancy Forester and I talk about a number of approaches and tools that you can use to start your tapping. These will ease you into tapping when you don't know where to begin and also help you to get more out of your tapping sessions each time you sit down.

If you enjoy this conversation, you should check out Nancy's Conscious EFT 101 which is a free five-part series introducing you to her trauma informed approach to safe and effective EFT.

Support the podcast!

Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Guest: Nancy Forrester

Contact: web @ neftti.com

About: Nancy Forrester is a retired clinical psychotherapist, coach, international speaker, corporate consultant and Canada’s only Accredited Master Trainer and Trainer of Trainers in Emotional Freedom Techniques (often referred to as EFT or Tapping).

Since discovering the enormous power of Energy Psychology in the late 90’s, Nancy has been a passionate student, teacher and advocate of this advanced approach to transformation. Nancy blends a variety of research-based tools and modalities to maximize impact and is internationally recognized as a leading expert in integrating the most cutting-edge mind-body-spirit strategies for health and personal development into therapy and coaching work.

Nancy founded the National EFT Training Institute in 2012 out of a desire to bring EFT to a broad audience of professionals. NeftTI offers professional-level training, mentoring and certification to active psychotherapists, medical professionals, social workers, personal and business coaches, holistic practitioners as well as to people looking to transition to being transformational coaches. NeftTi’s trainings are renowned for their high standards, trauma-informed approach, high level of warmth and personal engagement as well as post-training involvement in a closely held community of like-minded practitioners.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: How To, Nancy Forester, Phrases, Words

Past failures do not define me – Video

July 28, 2020 by Gene Monterastelli

There's no doubt that past choices impact our lives, but we also tend to think that these past choices determine our future. Even though the past informs our present, we can make new choices in this moment. This tap-along will help you to do exactly that.

Did you know you can receive an email reminder every time a new tapping video is uploaded? >> Sign up here! <<

If you liked today’s video, please share it with a friend.

Filed Under: Video Tagged With: Core-16, Failure, Past

Pod #471: Why Tapping Works w/ David Feinstein, PhD

July 22, 2020 by Gene Monterastelli

The two most common questions asked by those new to tapping are “Does tapping work?” and “How do we know tapping works?” As someone who loves tapping, it's great that I can share my personal first hand experience of tapping, but for some people it just isn't enough.

In this conversation David Feinstein and I talk about six criteria to determine whether or not tapping works. Then we move on to what the scientific research has shown as to why tapping works.

I believe this information is useful for a couple of reasons. First, when we know how something works, it makes it easier for us to get the most out of the tool. Second, when we know how and why it works, it makes it much easier to explain to others.

I think this is an essential conversation for anyone who taps and would like to share tapping with others.

Support the podcast!

Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Guest: David Feinstein, PhD

Contact: web @ Eden Energy Medicine

About: David Feinstein is a clinical psychologist and a pioneer in developing innovative therapeutic approaches, leading to nine national awards for his books on consciousness and healing. He and his wife, Donna Eden, have built the world’s largest and most vibrant organization teaching energy medicine. Their latest award-winning book, The Energies of Love, achieved best-seller status on the NY Times Relationship List. David has served on the faculties of The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Antioch College, and the California School of Professional Psychology.

David received the 2002 “Outstanding Contribution” Award from the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (and again in 2012), the U.S. Book News Award for the Best Psychology/Mental Health Book of 2007, the 2015 “Outstanding Leadership” Award from the Canadian Association for Integrative and Energy Therapies, and the Infinity Foundation’s 2013 “Spirit Award” (with Donna) for their contribution to “the evolution of consciousness” and its “impact on society.” A licensed psychologist (Oregon), he has contributed more than 100 articles to the professional literature.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: David Feinstein, Research

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Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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