Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Things Your Intellectual Self Needs To Hear

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photo by Paul Downey

[Note: This is part 2 of a 5 part series. When all five parts are published you will be able to find them at Talk To The System.

When we are learning the basics of tapping we are taught the more specific we can get the more effective the tapping is going to be. This is not only true for specific issues, but also specific parts of the system. I was inspired by the exercise I call “The Grounding Process” to look at each parts of our system and tap for it. ]

I have the tendency to live in my head. I am very thoughtful person and am very capable of over thinking things. Because of this I can miss other information for other parts of my system. It is good to recognize our intellectual selves AND to help it to understand how it fits into the whole system.

Take a deed breath. Tune into your intellectual self and tap:

I am so happy that I have such a powerful intellectual part of my system…It solves problems at the speed of light…It assess situation before I have the change to realize that something needs to be analyzed…I love the fact that my intellect is able to learn and grow…My mind is made to grow and develop…I want my intellectual self to know that I know how much is does…And I am happy it is here…

I also want my intellectual self know that it is not alone…It is not the only part of my system…It is not the most important part of my system…But one more important part of my system…I want my intellectual self to know that it can and it needs to work with my other parts…That is needs to work with the wisdom of the gut and heart when making decisions…

I also asked a number of friends and fellow practitioners what they would want their mind/intellectual self to know and hear. Take another deep breath and continue to tap:

Let go, there's no need to keep such a tight grip on everything.
Pamela Bruner

Are you trying too hard? Does it feel like work? Stop.
Jade Barbee

I'm smarter than I think.
Tammy Evevard

“Gosh darn it you are smart. (chuckle).
I'm sorry that others misunderstand your brilliance.
You are really good at trying to keep me safe. However I have a new job for you now.
Thank you for giving me all sides of the options here. You've done a good job.
Thank you for being part of the team. Your role is very important.”
Deborah Donndelinger

Beautiful mind runs the show most of the time, thinking thoughts, thinking my life, thinking my feelings, remembering the past, projecting into the future and interpreting life through the thinking filter. I honor my brilliance AND i give my mind permission to let down, to slow down, to relax and let me FEEL into my body and life more. it's okay, brilliant mind, it's safe for me let go of some much thinking and analyzing and feel what i want…and from that place i am so much more inspired, creative and brilliant!
Margaret M. Lynch

You are smart. You are capable of incredible things. You can always figure things out. You know how to handle each situation as it comes up. You know exactly the right thing to say in each situation.
Rev. Anne Presuel

You are as smart as you needs to be. And while you may get in the way of decisions that might be best left to the ‘gut' to decide, I am grateful that I have my intellect to help protect me, reason things out, keep me safe, move me forward in life, remember the good things from the past and help me to walk into the future.
Lindsay Kenny

I spend too much time trying to prove to other people how much I know. The truth is I know very little. The problem is by the amount that I yammer on to other people you would never know that.
I am only 37 and I have a lot to learn about other people, the world, myself.
I need to say the words “”I don't know”” a lot more often.
There is a lot of excitement in not knowing about a lot of things. It means that I have a long way to go before I become enlightened. It means that I am unfinished and I have many mysteries of the universe to solve before I pass on.
How boring it would be to know everything before turning 40!
I must not allow my world to be so small. I need to open myself to learning as much as I can in the time I have left. I also must be ready to allow my perspectives to shift based on new experiences or information I learn. Don't become so deeply cemented into opinions or positions that I will never allow myself to change my mind.
Quit being afraid to learn.”
John Roedel

I have the capacity and talent, as well as the determination, to express all that it desires to express. That there is plenty of time and plenty of room for self expression. Mind, you don't run the show, but you have incredible things to contribute.
Rhona Clews

You need to relax and understand that in any one circumstance you only going to perceive a small percentage of what is really happening. The bigger picture is almost never available to just the brain. Chill out. Relax. Enjoy the ride to greater understanding.
Alina Frank

It is okay to be great. I choose not to limit myself – or doubt myself – for fear of what others might think if I excelled. It is better to excel and show others how to do the same.
Brad Yates

“At the end of the day, does it really matter what you forgot? Or didn't accomplish from that ridiculously long To-Do-List? What you remembered – and did – was really good enough? (Trust me.)”
Jondi Whitis

You are not me, you are something I use, you are very bright and very smart, but you work for Me.
Andy Bryce

What are the things your intellectual self needs to hear? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

Warning: Ask These Healing Questions At Your Own Risk

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(For me) one of the basic tenets to all change work: If there wasn't some resistance to making change the change already would have happened.

Most of the time we know what we want and we know how to get it, but we just don't take the steps needed. Something is holding us back. In most cases, we know (or falsely believe) that something is going to go very wrong if we get the change we want.

Not that the change we want is bad, but it is also going to come with unwanted consequences.

For example:

  • If I lose weight my fat friends are going to make fun of me the way they make fun of other skinny people.
  • If get over my fear of public speaking they are going to expect me to speak more in my job which mean more work.
  • If I get everything done today then my family is going to expect me to get everything done everyday.

Finding The Resistance Is Scary

Most of the time we are not sure what these underlaying concerns are. Might have an idea, but we don’t know for sure.

We can find out what these resistances are, but it can be a very dangerous thing to do.

If we find out what the underlying resistance is then we have to do something about it. It is much more comfortable to say, “I would love to lose the weight, but my family has never been able to keep weight off,” than it is to recognize that you haven’t lost the weight because losing weight is scary.

When the world is conspiring against us then it is not our fault. When we name what is really going on then we are responsible to do something.

You Have A Choice

So you have a choice. You can continue to live in your blissful ignorance. You can continue to wish for better and be resigned to the fact that the world is against you and it will never happen.

Or…

You can ask the hard questions. You can face the ugly facts about your life and you can recognize that it is up to you.

I will give you a moment to make your choice.

If you want to ask the hard questions…read on.

  • What would people expect of me if I really did change?
  • What would I expect of myself if I if really did change?
  • What crutches would I have to give up if I really did change?

I know they are not revolutionary questions. I am sure you have read them before in other articles on resistance, but they are powerful, useful, and (to be honest) at times painful to ask.

3 Steps To Getting Past Resistance

Now that you have chosen to face the questions let’s do something really helpful with them to create change! You can do this in three simple steps.

1) Think of an area of your life you want to change.
Narrow this down, because the resistance in each part of your life is going to be a little different. You can repeat the process as many times as you like with as many issues as you like. Choose one thing to start with.

2) Ask the questions?
Do this one at a time. Give each question a few minutes. Write down each of your answers. When you think you are done force yourself to come up with two more.

3) Tap for each thing you have written down.
It I very simple just start tapping and say “Even though I am afraid that if I get the change I want I am going to have to deal with [insert something from your list] I love and accept myself’

Repeat step 3 for each thing you have written down. If you want to you can go through your list twice (or three times even).

Now It Is Time For The Healing/Change Work

Don’t be mistaken at what we have just accomplished. What we have done is cleared the resistance to making the steps to the change you want. Doing this isn’t going to magical de-clutter the kitchen, have 30 lbs. disappear over night, or get you up in front of the office staff doing stand up comedy.

What it does do is clear the space so you are no longer getting in your own way. It clears the space for you to take the steps you know you need to take to move forward, grow, and/or heal.

It is not time to take the action you have known you need to do…but fear not. It is no longer scary and you will want to do it, because you want and are worthy of the change it is going to bring.

What is your experience with resistance to change? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

Things Your Physical Body Needs To Hear You Say

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photo by David E. Merino

[Note: This is part 1 of a 5 part series. When all five parts are published you will be able to find them at Talk To The System.

When we are learning the basics of tapping we are taught the more specific we can get the more effective the tapping is going to be. This is not only true for specific issues, but also specific parts of the system. I was inspired by the exercise I call “The Grounding Process” to look at each parts of our system and tap for it. ]

Our physical body is a truly amazing thing. It is literally billions of little pieces works in concert moving us through the day, keeping us safe and healthy from disease, and helping us to explore the world. It is something that I know I take for granted. Every tapping session I do with clients one of the first steps I do is have us ground ourselves in our bodies and thank it for all the amazing things it does in unconscious and subconscious ways.

Take a deep breath. Feel yourself grounded in your body. Start tapping and say this to your physical body:

I love you…I appreciate everything you do for me that is seen and unseen…You keep me safe through out the day in ways that I never know about…I don’t have to think about my health and well being in every moment because you do it for me…Thank you. Thank you…Thank you…I know you are not perfect…I know that you don’t keep everything at bay…I know there are times where you over function…or misunderstand threats to my health and well being…but I know that you are always working from a place of wanting the best for me…even if you don’t make the right choices…you are always making what you think are the best choices…

Know that you are not alone in your work…you are not the only part of me that is trying to keep me healthy and safe…You have other parts of the systems that are willing to work with you…Know that you are not expected to do it alone…You are allowed to ask for help…You need to ask for help…I want you to ask for help…Please tell me what you need to do your job better…

I am sorry that I don’t always listen to you…I am sorry that you have to work so hard to get my attention…It is not that I don’t care…It is not that I don’t want to listen…I just sometimes forget to listen…I sometimes get so in my head that I forget to listen to my physical system…Please keep letting me know what I need to do to be healthier…Please let me know what I need to do to just be at peace in you…In this moment.

I also asked number of my friends and fellow practitioners what they would what their physical body to hear. There are also great phrases to tap along to. Take another deep breath and tap…

You are strong. You are beautiful. You are powerful. You know exactly what you need to maintain balance, and you are completely capable of maintaining balance. You know exactly how to heal any situation, and you do just that, whenever it is needed.
Rev. Anne Presuel

Focus on how you want to feel and how you want to be. Breathe.
Jade Barbee

Even though I reject you in so many ways, I honor my body, my solid, real physical body. I am opening to really FEELING my body, my solid presence, my humanity, my foundation of strength, power and energy. I am opening to remembering that my body LOVES being ALIVE…every cell in my body wants to live and LOVES living and changing and growing. I notice my body and remember that I am alive with energy, sensation and swirling power and I say THANK YOU to my beautiful body.
Margaret M. Lynch

You don't have to do everything, and be so tense. You can relax.
Pamela Bruner

I'm sorry I haven't been listening. I'm listening now.
I'm sorry I haven't been able to hear your messages. I'm open to hearing your innate wisdom now.
I'm sorry I haven't been making good choices. I'm willing to let you guide me now.
Deborah Donndelinger

You are loved, that I am interested in listening to your needs, that there is plenty of time for rest, fun and play. I am interested in exploring new ways of honouring you and making you feel good. I am listening.
Rhona Clews

I love and appreciate all the billions of functions it performs for you each and every day.
Alina Frank

It's never too late! I love you, anyway. And by the way, you're doing a good job keeping up with all this I'm throwing at you! Deep apologies for making you carry all this around!
Jondi Whitis

Thank you for all your messages, especially the ones you have to repeat, thanks for not giving up on me. Thank you for being so healthy and being such a great place to live for a while.
Andy Bryce

That strength begins with choices. I choosing to take care of my body which creates inner strength too.
Tammy Evevard

What are the things your physical self needs to hear? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

My 10 Favorite Articles From 2011 Featured On Tapping Q And A

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photo by Susanna S.

Here is a look back at some of my favorite posts from 2011. They are not necessarily the best, but they are thoughts, ideas, and articles that I still look back and learn from.

Knowing Good Enough Is Good Enough OR The Myth Of Excellence
This is the thought that changed my life!

Create v. Responsible
Ever thought to yourself, “Everything that is going wrong in my life is all my fault! How did I create this mess?” You didn't create it all! Here is new way of looking at what you create in your life.

There Is So Much, I Don’t Know Where To Begin When Using EFT
Feeling overwhelmed? Here is your starting point

Keeping the Long View – How To Understand The Healing Process With Tapping/EFT
When we understand how healing happens it is easier easier to create a space to heal.

Why Do I Have To Tap? – How Is EFT Different From Just Thinking About The Issue?
The title says it all. Here is why tapping is different (and powerful).

Set-Up Phrase Generator For Tapping/EFT
Having trouble with the set up phrases? Here is a over 2000 set-up phrases!

10 Lessons Learned From Teaching Tapping in Jail
One of the best things that happened to me in 2011 was getting a chance to teach a month long anger management class in a county jail. It is still one of my favorite parts of life. Here is what I have learned (so far) working with the guys.

Transforming Our Critical Voice In To Something Helpful With Tapping and EFT In 8 Easy Steps
My archenemy is my critical voice. Here is how I tame it (in 8 easy steps).

Is It A Big Deal?
It is okay to say something is a big deal when it is a big deal. By being honest with yourself you can begin healing.

10 Simple Steps To Tap On Any Emotion
Don't know where to begin. Here are 10 steps you can do anytime to start clearing any issue.

What is your favorite lesson you learned about tapping in the last year? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

Better Then Any New Year’s Resolutions – Tap To Get Rid Of What Isn’t Needed

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This article was written while being powered by a tasty lunch bought by Lee Carter of FL. Thanks Lee!


photo by Roger Glenn

As we come to the end of another year I have been reflecting on my life, my goals, and how I spend my time. After careful concideration I have come to realize that my goals and dreams for the new year aren't much different than the goals I had at the beginning of last year.

I would like to have better health and well being, richer relationships, more opportunities to share my giftedness with my readers and clients, and a more grounded perspective to enjoy each moment.

AND, I know how to do all these things. I have a few new tools and tricks, but for the most part I know what I am doing.

My problem isn't knowing what, why I want it, or how to get it. My problem is filling my time and spending my energy on things that aren't helpful.

Marc over at “Marc and Angel Hack Life” wrote a great piece a few weeks ago called “30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself“. Such as:

    1) Stop spending time with the wrong people.
    5) Stop trying to be someone you’re not.
    10) Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness.
    18) Stop holding grudges.
    25) Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t.

When I create enough space in my life it is easy for me to make the right choice and I seem to effortlessly move towards my goals. It is when I am spending time, energy, and emotions on things that aren't worth of my attention that I have a hard time doing (and being) who I want and need to be.

With that being said, sometimes it is really hard to get rid of things that have worked their way into our lives. When this happens I like to tap on it like this:

I know there are things in my life that I need to eliminate…they take my time…they take my energy…they take my emotional energy…they are not things I need to do…they are not things I want to do…they are there because they have been there for a really long time…they are there because I don't know another way…they are there because I am afraid to let them go…I might hurt others feelings by letting them go…I might not know what to do instead…they might serve as a great distraction…I have been keeping them around because on some level they are serving me…even if I don't know why they are serving me…I know it is going to be hard to let go of some of these things…I know that I am going to let them go for a short while and then pick them up again…I know it is going to be work to let some of them go…but I give myself permission to let go of the relationships that are not serving me…I give myself permission to let got of the tasks that are no longer serving me…I give myself permission to let go of the habits that are no longer serving me…by letting go of these things I am going to create space for the thing I need to do…I am going to create energy to do what I want to do…I am going to have time to become who I want to become.

Take a look at Marc's list of “30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself“.

What are the things you need to remove for your life in the new year to move toward becoming who you want to be? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!