Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Need To Know How We Got Here

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To work down a path of healing we need to take stock of where we are and what issues we would like to heal. One of the questions that come to mind when we do this is, “How did I get here?” This can become a consuming question, to the point that it distracts us from the healing process itself.

It is a natural question to ask. First, we may think that it will help us to heal our way out of the current feeling or circumstance. Second, we may believe we need to know how we got here to insure that we never end up here again.

While it can be important to the healing process to understand how we got here and how we can avoid ending up here again, it’s much more important that we understand where we are and where we would like to be.

I think sometimes it’s a disservice to clients when we harp on the memories that have created the past situation. Yes, it can be very helpful to understand these aspects of an emotional charge, but plenty of clients have felt hopeless because they couldn’t bring up past memories.

Also, we can be mistaken about the original cause of an emotional charge.

Instead, if we are easy with ourselves about how our problem came to be, we can freely enter the emotions of the moment which will lead us to the true root cause.

I find it very helpful to tap on the idea of not needing to know how we got here before going after a big problem. Then we are only dealing with the essential issue rather than worrying about knowing why.

The tapping patter could look something like this:

There is a part of me that really wants to know how I got into this situation…it feels I need this information for the healing…it believes I need this information to protect myself from ending up in this place again…while it can be very helpful to know this information…it is not essential to the healing process…I can completely heal my current emotions without knowing a single thing about how I got here…it is possible to use the emotions I am feeling right now as the information to do the tapping…as I work on how I feel right now it is possible that memories and other information about how I ended up here will come up…if this happens it will provide more chances for me to heal…if it doesn’t happen that’s okay as well because I have all the information I need…I give myself permission to be easy with myself in this process…it is much more important to know where I am and where I am going…than to know how I got here. [How to use these tapping phrases]

Overwhelmed By How Much Healing I Need

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In the article Stages of Awareness I talk about how we move through the healing process. In stage one we are going through life unaware of what is going on internally. In stage two we start the investigation process. This stage can be the most difficult because we’ve taken our blinders off. We feel as if we have just added a whole new set of problems and issues.

The moment we start investigating what’s going on in our lives we become aware of many areas of healing that we had been blind to before. We can be overwhelmed by feelings of frustration and hopelessness.

We can logically know that we have just opened our eyes to what was already there, but that doesn’t take the feelings of overwhelm or frustration away. I have found it very helpful to use Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EvEFT/EFT) on these feelings of overwhelm and frustration before doing the healing itself. Once the overwhelmed feeling is resolved, we are free to cope with the current issue.

To do this you could tap on something like this:

Right now I am dealing with more issues than I know what to do with…I don’t even know where to start…even if I take care of some of it, there is going to be so much more for me to deal with…I feel like I am trying to empty a bathtub with a thimble…I choose to know this is part of the healing process…in the beginning I feel like there is more than I can deal with…in the beginning it feels like I have added a bunch of new issues…but I really know these issues have always been here…I have just become aware of them…I give myself permission to know that I can take these issues one at a time… every issue I heal is going to make the next issue easier…it will be like a snowball rolling down a hill…each healing with happen easier and easier…faster and faster…I know it is only going to get better from here…as I come to terms with all that I need to heal…the easier it will be to heal…I give myself permission to do this healing at a rate that is best for my body…I forgive myself for feeling overwhelmed…it is natural to be overwhelmed by what I am dealing with…I choose to take the next step forward now. [How to use these tapping phrases]

I Don’t Deserve Healing

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One of the biggest struggles in our process of growing and changing is the fact that we don’t often believe that we deserve healing.

We believe:

  • We have too much
  • We have done too much wrong
  • It is too late

Sometimes it is just a deep ache that we can’t explain, a feeling that we don’t deserve any better.

I often use the image of a brick wall when dealing with this general sense of not deserving better. We are standing on one side of it, and our healing is on the other side. As long as we believe we don’t deserve healing we won’t get past the wall.

When we don’t know the root cause of the feeling it can be hard for us to approach because we are unsure where to begin or what to say. In these cases I imagine using Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) like a hammer and chisel. We might not be able to take the whole wall down in one tapping session, but bit by bit we can make progress.

Here is some sample tapping patter you could use:

There is part of me that doesn’t believe I am worthy of healing…there is a part of me that doesn’t believe I deserve any better…for some reason this part that doesn’t believe I deserve this is trying to protect me…it truly believes this protection is in my best interest…this part of me is working very hard to protect me, but it is doing it in a way that is not helpful for me in the short or long term…I recognize this part of me that is trying to keep me safe…I know this part of me is working hard…I thank this part of me for working so hard…even if it is preventing my healing…I honor the fact that this part of me wants what is best for me…I give this part of me permission to let its guard down…it no longer has to work so hard…I deserve to heal…I deserve better…I deserve to heal…as I say those phrases there is a part of me that recoils at this thought…even though part of me doesn’t believe this, there is a part of me that knows it is true…right now I tune into the part of me that knows I deserve to heal…the part of me that knows I deserve better…it might be very deep down inside…it might be a very long time since this part of my being has been accessed…but it is there…right now I speak light and love to the part of me that knows I deserve love…to the part of me that knows I deserve healing…I deserve love…I deserve healing…I deserve better…whatever part of me is blocking this thought and idea, I let go of it right now…I see and feel the blocks to knowing I deserve healing melting away a little at a time…with each breath and each tap I am removing the wall of undeserving that prevents me from moving forward…it’s melting away…in every moment I believe more and more that I deserve to heal…that I deserve better…I forgive myself for not believing this is true…I forgive myself for not believing this is true even as I tap right now…I forgive myself or whatever part of myself has built this wall…I know it has only done so because it is doing the best it can with what it has to protect me…I give myself permission to believe it is possible to see myself as deserving of better health…I deserve to heal…I deserve better…I deserve love.
[How to use these tapping phrases]

Peace (Personal and World)

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During the holiday season we are re-reminded that it is important to give thanks for the peace in our lives, homes, and world. We are also given the chance to consider the peace we long for. Please take some time this week and tap on these phrase to help bring peace.

I give thanks for the fact that I am reminded to consider the peace I have in my life…I am thankful for moments of peace…for people who create peace…and the people who call me to peace…I know there are places in my life that need more peace…I know I must take responsibility for creating that peace…that does not mean that I have created all the disharmony in my life, but I give myself permission to be responsible for the peace in my life…right now I tune into any block that I have to creating peace in my life…these might be big blocks…or they might be small…I know my body is holding on to these blocks for a reason…because it thinks these block are protecting me from something…I thank my body for holding these blocks…but right now I choose to let them go…any block I’m holding that prevents peace in my life…and in my world…I let it go now…knowing in this moment that I no longer need it…as I let it go I feel my body…I feel the freedom that comes with this peace…I forgive myself for carrying these blocks for so long…I love and accept myself…knowing I deserve peace in my life…and in my world…any part of me that feels I don’t deserve peace…I thank that part of me…because it believes it is protecting me…and I let these beliefs go…I deserve peace in my life…I was made for peace…I am at my fullest and my best…when I am at peace…I also know I desire peace not just in myself…but also in the world…I know I can help to create peace in the world…in my thoughts…my deeds…and my actions…I know it can be scary to step out…to take actions that will create peace…others might judge these actions…thinking I am a do-gooder…thinking I am being arrogant…thinking I am messing in places I shouldn’t be…I give myself permission to help create peace in the world…I give myself permission to be a peacemaker…the world needs peace…it is not just better for me…but better for everyone…when I create peace in myself…I create peace in the world…when I create peace in the world…I create peace in myself…Let there be peace on Earth…and let it begin with me.
[How to use these tapping phrases]