This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series with what I think is the most controversial fundamental of the whole series...at least at first glance. One of the biggest complaints I hear from my clients is when they are berating themselves for all of the times they have made poor choices, even when "they should have known better!" When this happens, they beat themselves up emotionally for being "so stupid" or "weak" or "thoughtless". The reality is we are always making the ...
This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series, where we are covering the ideas and concepts that underlie every part of the healing and transformational process. This week we are talking about fear. Fear has an entire episode dedicated to it because it is the one emotion that is most likely to hold us back. Understanding the evolutionary reason behind fear and why it shows up in the moment makes it much easier to create transformation. In this episode I teach you the hows ...
It can often feel like our negative emotions are the enemy and it makes sense why. When we experience negative emotions, we feel bad AND they also get in the way of us making better choices in the moment. That is why when Gary Craig created his version of tapping, he called it "Emotional Freedom Techniques" because there is such a strong human desire to escape strong negative emotions. For me, the process isn't just about escaping negative emotions, but also understanding them. Each of the ...
The fear of success is the single most difficult type of resistance to uncover. I know it sounds strange to fear success, but it is a lot more common than you might think. The subconscious mind may fear success because it is worried that we might have success and then lose it, or once we have it, it becomes hard to maintain, or we will have to keep working really hard (if not harder) to maintain that success, to name just a few scenarios. Because it doesn't seem logical or obvious to ...
After working with clients for many years, I have come to the realization that we are notoriously bad eyewitnesses to our own experiences. We are great at telling stories about our experiences, our past, and our traumas, but unfortunately they aren't always true. This can hinder our transformation because without a clear understanding of our experience, it is hard to heal. We can spend time tapping on issues that feel big and important, only to find out that they have nothing to do with ...
Sometimes we have to do tasks that we just don't like because they are no fun, such as having to scrub the inside of a smelly old garbage can, or doing yard work at three in the afternoon on a hot summer's day. There are other tasks where the reason we avoid doing them is less clear. Hidden behind our reluctance is the key to understanding our resistance to taking action. When we are able to decode our resistance and uncover the hidden meaning behind it, then we have a powerful tool for ...
Just because we know what to do, how to do it, and have everything we need to take action, it doesn't mean we actually take action. For me, this is one of the most frustrating places to be because it is clear that I am set up for success AND I am the one getting in my own way. The tricky part of this situation is identifying the resistance hindering us from taking action because it is seldom obvious. We wind up frustrated and confused by our inaction, and then we beat ourselves up for ...
As humans, we are great at complaining! And I don't mean that as a put-down because there is a sound evolutionary reason why we excel at complaining. A complaint is a recognition of something that is bad, painful, or distasteful. This is the subconscious mind's way of keeping us safe. When we point out what is negative, it makes it easier to recognize and avoid it in future. The problem is that the subconscious is good at avoiding the undesirable, but poor at finding what is ...
It is so common to apologize when we get emotional in front of others. You may feel like you are overreacting, or being extra, or that you are burdening the people around you. Awareness of how our emotions can impact others is a good thing, BUT it is also important that we don't just bottle up or suppress strong emotions. In this week's podcast, we are continuing the My Favorite Tapping Phrases Series with the phrase I use for myself and with clients when strong or difficult emotions ...
Our subconscious mind is brilliant at figuring out cause and effect relationships. That is how we learn. If I touch a hot stove and it hurts, I learn not to touch a hot stove again. I smile at someone and find that they are more likely to be nice to me, so I learn that people often reflect my behavior. Because all of this happens at an unconscious level, we don't notice these connections. Instead, we are constantly learning from observation and experience in the background. This is ...
One of the biggest obstacles to transformation and healing is our history. It would be one thing if we were simply trying to add a new worldview or belief, but trying to replace an old belief with a new one is a completely different process. When trying to create change, we are trying to unroot the lessons that our history has taught us. In this week's podcast we are continuing the My Favorite Tapping Phrase Series with my go-to phrase for work on replacing the past beliefs that no ...
Our healing journey doesn't always go as planned. Sometimes we stall. Sometimes progress is slower than we'd like. And sometimes (heaven forbid) we actually backslide. Hitches and delays are an inevitable part of the healing and transformation process. How we respond to these moments determines how quickly we return to the healing path. This week, as we continue the My Favorite Phrases Series, I am sharing the tapping phrase I find most valuable when things are not going as planned, why ...
A key characteristic of the subconscious mind is how it tends to perceive the world in black and white. Given this all-or-nothing disposition, it can sometimes be difficult to see a way forward or believe that better is possible. In this week's podcast, we talk about the power of the tapping phrase "I am open to the possibility..." and how it can soften the subconscious mind's "all-or-nothing" stance. Not only do I share why the phrase is useful, I also share all the ways in which I use ...
One of the exciting prospects that tapping opens up for us is the possibility of creating meaningful change in our lives. AND tapping creates that internal change much faster than many other tools. This speed is great, except for the fact it can also give rise to unrealistic expectations about how quickly we believe transformation should happen. When the change we want does not happen instantaneously (or as quickly as we would like), it is easy to feel frustrated, or even demotivated, ...
The main job of the subconscious mind is to keep us safe. It is constantly on the alert for anything in our environment that could be harmful. This is great...except when it is not. It is not so great when it causes us needless worry. Even with its constant desire to keep us from harm, the subconscious mind is good at recognizing the places in our lives where we are normally safe. For example, many people regard their home as a place of safe and predictable sanctuary, so their whole ...
I love to learn and in the first decade of my tapping life, I consumed everything I could about tapping and transformation. I subscribed to every newsletter I could find, I listened to podcasts, read books, and attended many live trainings. In the process, I came across the work of Milton Erikson, the founder of the American Society for Clinical Hypnosis, who is often referred to as the Dean of American Hypnosis. Right away, I latched on to his idea that "All transformation starts by ...
One of the primary functions of our subconscious mind is to keep us safe. The subconscious is constantly on the lookout for possible danger or trouble, and steers us away from anything that is unpredictable, such as taking new and bold action. In seeking to avoid putting us at risk, our subconscious will choose the predictably bad over the unpredictable. One of the ways to ease the resistance created by the subconscious is to tap on possibilities. In this week's podcast I teach you how I ...
