Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Let The Subconscious Fill in the Blanks

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photo by Adam Holloway

The most common reason my clients don’t do their EFT homework between sessions is, “I don’t know what words to say. When I tap with you it is so easy. When I’m on my own I get stuck.” But there is a way for the subconscious to solve this problem for you.

The reason may be lack of confidence, worry that you’ll do it wrong, worry that you’ll waste time, or that you simply don’t know how to approach the issue. At other times we may have a hard time saying some of the phrases out loud because they seem so ludicrous.

For example people who have a hard time believing they are worthy of being loved are not going to feel comfortable saying, “I deserve love, happiness, and well-being” because they really don’tt believe it.

It can be equally hard to say out loud (or even recognize) why we feel this way.

Rob Sherwin (http://www.tap4health.com/) has come up with a brilliant way to deal with the situation where we don’t know why we feel some way or it’s really hard for us to say out loud. His recommendation is to simply let the subconscious mind fill in the blanks for us. We could tap on something like this:

I don’t deserve healing because…
I don’t deserve to heal if it means…
I don’t know how to heal because…
If I heal then I will be stuck with…
I can’t heal because…
I am afraid to heal because…
I don’t want to heal because…
I don’t believe I deserve happiness because…
I don’t believe I deserve success because…
I don’t believe I deserve love because…

Overwhelmed By How Much Healing I Need

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In the article Stages of Awareness I talk about how we move through the healing process. In stage one we are going through life unaware of what is going on internally. In stage two we start the investigation process. This stage can be the most difficult because we’ve taken our blinders off. We feel as if we have just added a whole new set of problems and issues.

The moment we start investigating what’s going on in our lives we become aware of many areas of healing that we had been blind to before. We can be overwhelmed by feelings of frustration and hopelessness.

We can logically know that we have just opened our eyes to what was already there, but that doesn’t take the feelings of overwhelm or frustration away. I have found it very helpful to use Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EvEFT/EFT) on these feelings of overwhelm and frustration before doing the healing itself. Once the overwhelmed feeling is resolved, we are free to cope with the current issue.

To do this you could tap on something like this:

Right now I am dealing with more issues than I know what to do with…I don’t even know where to start…even if I take care of some of it, there is going to be so much more for me to deal with…I feel like I am trying to empty a bathtub with a thimble…I choose to know this is part of the healing process…in the beginning I feel like there is more than I can deal with…in the beginning it feels like I have added a bunch of new issues…but I really know these issues have always been here…I have just become aware of them…I give myself permission to know that I can take these issues one at a time… every issue I heal is going to make the next issue easier…it will be like a snowball rolling down a hill…each healing with happen easier and easier…faster and faster…I know it is only going to get better from here…as I come to terms with all that I need to heal…the easier it will be to heal…I give myself permission to do this healing at a rate that is best for my body…I forgive myself for feeling overwhelmed…it is natural to be overwhelmed by what I am dealing with…I choose to take the next step forward now. [How to use these tapping phrases]

Physical Pain From Injury

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I am very aware that there are times when we have pain in the body that has an emotional base. There are also times when we just hurt ourselves. I just twisted my knee and it still hurts a few days later. Do I tap in the same way with this sort of physical pain as I would for pain that is emotionally-based?

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) is a very powerful tool when dealing with physical pain. When I first teach EFT/EvEFT I generally start with physical pain for two reasons. First, EFT/EvEFT works so well, and second, it’s hard to deny the results. (The evaporation of emotional pain is easier for a new EFTer to dismiss, giving credit to factors other than EFT.)

When we are dealing with pain of any sort we need to remember that pain is nothing more than a signal. It’s one of the physical body’s ways of getting our attention and communicating information. Our shoulders can ache from stress because our body is telling us we need to slow down and take care of ourselves. Our ankle will hurt after an injury to tell us we should give it time to heal and avoid walking on it too much.

Even though EFT/EvEFT is so powerful at reducing (and/or eliminating) the pain we feel, we should make sure we are not just taking pain away without first listening to the information the body is trying to communicate to us. There is a famous story of a hypnotist who used hypnosis to numb the pain he was feeling in his chest. The pain was related to a heart attack. Since he only eliminated the pain and didn’t respond to what the pain was communicating — the need for medical care — he died from the heart attack.

Regardless of the source of the pain, we can use EFT/EvEFT for both physical and emotional aspects of the pain. Let’s look at how we can use EFT/EvEFT for a physical pain that has come from an injury and is not emotionally based.

1) The Physical Pain
Regardless of the source of the physical pain I generally approach physical pain the same way. While tapping from point to point I tune into the following (in no particular order):

  • Is there a lesson the pain wants me to learn
  • What is the shape?
  • What is the color?
  • What is size?
  • If I held the pain in my hand, how much would it weigh?
  • If I was going to make a model of the pain to show my friends what it is like, what substance would I use?
  • If the pain could say something, what would it say?
  • I trace the geography the physical pain with my mind

After I have done this for a round or two of tapping I tune back in to the SUDs level to see how it feels. If more work is needed, I repeat the process.

2) The Emotional Aspect of the Physical Pain
On the surface it might not seem obvious that there is work we can do with emotions of the physical pain. Just because the pain itself was caused by an injury, it doesn’t mean we don’t have emotions around the issue of having the pain or injury.

I am a firm believer that if we have negative emotions around a wound (physical or emotional) we slow down or hinder the healing process. When we have a physical pain it’s a good idea to spend time dealing with emotions about the pain. Some examples of the areas you can investigate are:

  • How you were injured: Are you mad at yourself for how you got injured?  Are you mad at someone else for how you got injured?
  • How the injury is effecting you: Are you having a hard time doing the things you want to do and how is this effecting you emotionally?
  • How people are responding to the injury: Are people trying to baby you?  Are people not giving you enough attention?
  • How the body is healing and responding to treatment: Is the body not healing fast enough for you and is this causing frustration?

As you can see, many emotions can arise from an injury that wasn’t emotionally induced. Dealing with these issues will help speed the healing process, or more accurately get out of the way of the natural healing process of the body.

The beautiful thing about EFT/EvEFT is it allows us to approach problems from many different angles. We can approach them through our minds (thoughts and memories), our bodies (physical sensations), and our spirits (emotions). For each issue you will find at least one of these entry points helpful. You will probably heal faster when you explore more than one.

Ev/EFT – Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques

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Why do you use the term Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EvEFT) instead of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)?

When Gary Craig introduced EFT to the world I believe he did a very smart thing when chose the name. He called it Emotional Freedom Techniques. Most people don’t notice the “s” on the end of the word techniques, because it seems like one technique.

As far as I can tell Gary did this because he knew EFT would grow and change over time, as it indeed has. Part of the reason Gary has shared EFT with what he calls an “open hand” was to allow this amazing growth to occur easily.

But this has not always been a good thing.  Here are Gary’s words:

Over the years, I’ve discovered that this open-handed distribution system has obvious benefits for everyone – but has many significant challenges as well. First, with so many diverse attitudes and abilities among the EFT Community, EFT has been spread in an inconsistent manner. While some of this has simply reflected individual variations and personalities of the presenters, some of it, unfortunately, has been downright unethical or embarrassing. These inconsistencies, if left unattended, will tend to erode EFT’s credibility in the world.

Accordingly, if we are going to maximize the EFT experience for the ultimate good of all, there are some common sense ethical items that need to be observed…In essence, I wish to grant the freedom to ethically practice EFT, give workshops and create organizations, books, films, etc. so long as it is made clear to the public that your EFT activity represents YOUR own ideas, angles, versions, etc. and not necessarily those of Gary Craig or EFT.”

That is why I use the term EvEFT. It represents the fact that this tool set has evolved past Gary’s work and these are my own ideas. That is not to say my ideas are better. They are just my own.

Tapping/EFT Q & A is provided as a public courtesy to help expand the use of EFT in the world. While Gary Craig and EFT encourage such efforts, they cannot evaluate or endorse the multitudes of them that exist. Thus this website represents the good faith ideas of its founders but not necessarily those of Gary Craig or EFT.

EFT is a very flexible improvement tool that can be used for just about everything. I am using my version of it here and have had extraordinary results and urge you to contact me for more. The original version and complete training can be found at http://www.emofree.com

I Don’t Deserve Healing

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One of the biggest struggles in our process of growing and changing is the fact that we don’t often believe that we deserve healing.

We believe:

  • We have too much
  • We have done too much wrong
  • It is too late

Sometimes it is just a deep ache that we can’t explain, a feeling that we don’t deserve any better.

I often use the image of a brick wall when dealing with this general sense of not deserving better. We are standing on one side of it, and our healing is on the other side. As long as we believe we don’t deserve healing we won’t get past the wall.

When we don’t know the root cause of the feeling it can be hard for us to approach because we are unsure where to begin or what to say. In these cases I imagine using Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) like a hammer and chisel. We might not be able to take the whole wall down in one tapping session, but bit by bit we can make progress.

Here is some sample tapping patter you could use:

There is part of me that doesn’t believe I am worthy of healing…there is a part of me that doesn’t believe I deserve any better…for some reason this part that doesn’t believe I deserve this is trying to protect me…it truly believes this protection is in my best interest…this part of me is working very hard to protect me, but it is doing it in a way that is not helpful for me in the short or long term…I recognize this part of me that is trying to keep me safe…I know this part of me is working hard…I thank this part of me for working so hard…even if it is preventing my healing…I honor the fact that this part of me wants what is best for me…I give this part of me permission to let its guard down…it no longer has to work so hard…I deserve to heal…I deserve better…I deserve to heal…as I say those phrases there is a part of me that recoils at this thought…even though part of me doesn’t believe this, there is a part of me that knows it is true…right now I tune into the part of me that knows I deserve to heal…the part of me that knows I deserve better…it might be very deep down inside…it might be a very long time since this part of my being has been accessed…but it is there…right now I speak light and love to the part of me that knows I deserve love…to the part of me that knows I deserve healing…I deserve love…I deserve healing…I deserve better…whatever part of me is blocking this thought and idea, I let go of it right now…I see and feel the blocks to knowing I deserve healing melting away a little at a time…with each breath and each tap I am removing the wall of undeserving that prevents me from moving forward…it’s melting away…in every moment I believe more and more that I deserve to heal…that I deserve better…I forgive myself for not believing this is true…I forgive myself for not believing this is true even as I tap right now…I forgive myself or whatever part of myself has built this wall…I know it has only done so because it is doing the best it can with what it has to protect me…I give myself permission to believe it is possible to see myself as deserving of better health…I deserve to heal…I deserve better…I deserve love.
[How to use these tapping phrases]