There are times when we just don’t want to step up. It could be because we feel we have nothing left or it could be because we don’t think we are capable.
Woody Allen is famously quoted as saying “Ninety percent of life is just showing up.” Often all it takes is getting up and getting started. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Most of the time it doesn’t even have to be good. Just starting is enough. It gets the ball rolling and the juices flowing, and it gets us heading in the right direction.
(For me) one of the basic tenets to all change work: If there wasn’t some resistance to making change the change already would have happened.
Most of the time we know what we want and we know how to get it, but we just don’t take the steps needed. Something is holding us back. In most cases, we know (or falsely believe) that something is going to go very wrong if we get the change we want.
Not that the change we want is bad, but it is also going to come with unwanted consequences.
For example:
Most of the time we are not sure what these underlaying concerns are. Might have an idea, but we don’t know for sure.
We can find out what these resistances are, but it can be a very dangerous thing to do.
If we find out what the underlying resistance is then we have to do something about it. It is much more comfortable to say, “I would love to lose the weight, but my family has never been able to keep weight off,” than it is to recognize that you haven’t lost the weight because losing weight is scary.
When the world is conspiring against us then it is not our fault. When we name what is really going on then we are responsible to do something.
So you have a choice. You can continue to live in your blissful ignorance. You can continue to wish for better and be resigned to the fact that the world is against you and it will never happen.
Or…
You can ask the hard questions. You can face the ugly facts about your life and you can recognize that it is up to you.
I will give you a moment to make your choice.
If you want to ask the hard questions…read on.
I know they are not revolutionary questions. I am sure you have read them before in other articles on resistance, but they are powerful, useful, and (to be honest) at times painful to ask.
Now that you have chosen to face the questions let’s do something really helpful with them to create change! You can do this in three simple steps.
1) Think of an area of your life you want to change.
Narrow this down, because the resistance in each part of your life is going to be a little different. You can repeat the process as many times as you like with as many issues as you like. Choose one thing to start with.
2) Ask the questions?
Do this one at a time. Give each question a few minutes. Write down each of your answers. When you think you are done force yourself to come up with two more.
3) Tap for each thing you have written down.
It I very simple just start tapping and say “Even though I am afraid that if I get the change I want I am going to have to deal with [insert something from your list] I love and accept myself’
Repeat step 3 for each thing you have written down. If you want to you can go through your list twice (or three times even).
Don’t be mistaken at what we have just accomplished. What we have done is cleared the resistance to making the steps to the change you want. Doing this isn’t going to magical de-clutter the kitchen, have 30 lbs. disappear over night, or get you up in front of the office staff doing stand up comedy.
What it does do is clear the space so you are no longer getting in your own way. It clears the space for you to take the steps you know you need to take to move forward, grow, and/or heal.
It is not time to take the action you have known you need to do…but fear not. It is no longer scary and you will want to do it, because you want and are worthy of the change it is going to bring.
What is your experience with resistance to change? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!
The history of business is a history about how companies and organizations can be more efficient. Much of this work is about how companies and organizations can create an environment where they can get their employees to be more productive. For most of history this has been about automating processes, educating employees, and learning how to empower employees to make better choice.
Today, forward thinking companies like Google and Zappos are starting to look beyond people as cogs in the machine that fill specific tasks, but starting to see them as whole people. When companies feed and support the whole person they are finding their employees are happier, healthier, and more productive.
Regardless if you work for someone else, if you employ people, or don’t work in a traditional job the lessons about emotional intelligence that these companies are learning can be applied directly to your daily life. In this interview I talk to Paul Zeilzer about what he has learned by visiting companies like Google and Zappos and how they can applied to our daily lives to increase our success.
Paul Zelizer |
Guest: Paul Zelizer, MA, EFT-Cert I
Contact: Web @ PaulZelizer.com; Email @ info@paulzelizer.com; Twitter @PaulZelizer; Facebook @ facebook.com/paul.zelizer
About Paul: Paul Zelizer has studied psychology, spirituality and conscious business for more than 30 years. After almost 20 years as a psychotherapist, he left the counseling world and shifted to a coaching and energy psychology practice. It was instant love!
Paul was one of the first coaches to combine energy psychology with the principles of conscious business and social marketing. As a result, his business grew rapidly. Today Paul runs a global coaching business where he helps spiritual people create the businesses and attract the work life of their dreams.
What do you think about what Paul share here? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!
No two people are alike. That is something that we all understand, but for some reason we feel like we need to hold ourselves to some standard where we are constantly comparing ourselves to those around us. We compare our relationships, our jobs, our physical health, and our financial success. Not only do we make these comparisons about the things we achieve, but we also make these comparisons about the things we prefer. When we don’t like the same music, TV, food, and activities as the people in our lives we feel out of place.
We are not like anyone else in the world. It does us little good to make comparisons on how we are different from everyone else. Because we are.
photo by David E. Merino |
[Note: This is part 1 of a 5 part series. When all five parts are published you will be able to find them at Talk To The System.
When we are learning the basics of tapping we are taught the more specific we can get the more effective the tapping is going to be. This is not only true for specific issues, but also specific parts of the system. I was inspired by the exercise I call “The Grounding Process” to look at each parts of our system and tap for it. ]
Our physical body is a truly amazing thing. It is literally billions of little pieces works in concert moving us through the day, keeping us safe and healthy from disease, and helping us to explore the world. It is something that I know I take for granted. Every tapping session I do with clients one of the first steps I do is have us ground ourselves in our bodies and thank it for all the amazing things it does in unconscious and subconscious ways.
Take a deep breath. Feel yourself grounded in your body. Start tapping and say this to your physical body:
I love you…I appreciate everything you do for me that is seen and unseen…You keep me safe through out the day in ways that I never know about…I don’t have to think about my health and well being in every moment because you do it for me…Thank you. Thank you…Thank you…I know you are not perfect…I know that you don’t keep everything at bay…I know there are times where you over function…or misunderstand threats to my health and well being…but I know that you are always working from a place of wanting the best for me…even if you don’t make the right choices…you are always making what you think are the best choices…
Know that you are not alone in your work…you are not the only part of me that is trying to keep me healthy and safe…You have other parts of the systems that are willing to work with you…Know that you are not expected to do it alone…You are allowed to ask for help…You need to ask for help…I want you to ask for help…Please tell me what you need to do your job better…
I am sorry that I don’t always listen to you…I am sorry that you have to work so hard to get my attention…It is not that I don’t care…It is not that I don’t want to listen…I just sometimes forget to listen…I sometimes get so in my head that I forget to listen to my physical system…Please keep letting me know what I need to do to be healthier…Please let me know what I need to do to just be at peace in you…In this moment.
I also asked number of my friends and fellow practitioners what they would what their physical body to hear. There are also great phrases to tap along to. Take another deep breath and tap…
You are strong. You are beautiful. You are powerful. You know exactly what you need to maintain balance, and you are completely capable of maintaining balance. You know exactly how to heal any situation, and you do just that, whenever it is needed.
Rev. Anne PresuelFocus on how you want to feel and how you want to be. Breathe.
Jade BarbeeEven though I reject you in so many ways, I honor my body, my solid, real physical body. I am opening to really FEELING my body, my solid presence, my humanity, my foundation of strength, power and energy. I am opening to remembering that my body LOVES being ALIVE…every cell in my body wants to live and LOVES living and changing and growing. I notice my body and remember that I am alive with energy, sensation and swirling power and I say THANK YOU to my beautiful body.
Margaret M. LynchYou don’t have to do everything, and be so tense. You can relax.
Pamela BrunerI’m sorry I haven’t been listening. I’m listening now.
I’m sorry I haven’t been able to hear your messages. I’m open to hearing your innate wisdom now.
I’m sorry I haven’t been making good choices. I’m willing to let you guide me now.
Deborah DonndelingerYou are loved, that I am interested in listening to your needs, that there is plenty of time for rest, fun and play. I am interested in exploring new ways of honouring you and making you feel good. I am listening.
Rhona ClewsI love and appreciate all the billions of functions it performs for you each and every day.
Alina FrankIt’s never too late! I love you, anyway. And by the way, you’re doing a good job keeping up with all this I’m throwing at you! Deep apologies for making you carry all this around!
Jondi WhitisThank you for all your messages, especially the ones you have to repeat, thanks for not giving up on me. Thank you for being so healthy and being such a great place to live for a while.
Andy BryceThat strength begins with choices. I choosing to take care of my body which creates inner strength too.
Tammy Evevard
What are the things your physical self needs to hear? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!