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Pod #346: Improving Your Performance With EFT w/ Dr. Tom Hanson, PhD

January 16, 2019 by Gene Monterastelli

Making mistakes can be frustrating, but it is even more frustrating when you mess something that you know you can do, have done before, but right at the moment when it's most important to get right, you mess up.

Athletes deal with this problem all of the time. There are actions that they can do perfectly over and over again in practice, but are unable to perform to the best of their ability when they get into a game setting.

We may not be professional sportspeople, but the same can happen with any of the tasks we perform. It is easy to let the pressure of the moment get the better of us.

In this week's podcast I have a conversation with performance coach Dr. Tom Hanson. Over the last three decades Tom has worked with countless professional athletes and top-level collegiate athletes.

Where performance is concerned it doesn't matter if you are in a stadium in front of tens of thousands of people, or you are making a small presentation to your co-workers, if you are worried about the outcome, your nerves can be hard to conquer.

This also means that the tools and techniques that Tom uses with top level athletes will also help us when we need to perform at our best.

In this conversation we talk about how tapping can be used to:

  • Remove the one part that is making it harder
  • How to find the right focus
  • How to let go of the wrong focus
  • How to deal with extreme nerves – often called the yips in sports

No matter what level or what setting you need to perform in, Tom will show how you how to use simple tapping to get the most out of each opportunity.

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Guest: Dr. Tom Hanson, PhD

Contact: email @ DrTomHanson@gmail.com; web @ HeadsUpPerformance.com; web @ PlayBigBaseball.com; web @  HeadsUpBaseball2.com; phone @ 813-453-3467

About Tom: CEO of Heads-Up Performance, Inc., Tom is a certified professional coach with over 30 years of experience in coaching, speaking and training. He earned his doctorate in sport psychology from the University of Virginia and uses his expertise in human performance to evoke excellence in professional athletes, CEOs and other corporate performers.

Formerly a tenured professor and head baseball coach, Hanson co-authored the books Heads-Up Baseball and Heads-Up Baseball 2.0, which have sold over 200,000 copies and have been used by many Major League Baseball, top college and high school teams. Labeled the bible of mental toughness in baseball by Collegiate Baseball, the books have been translated into several languages. His book, PLAY BIG: Mental Toughness Secrets that Take Baseball Players to the Next Level is widely used by teams at all levels of play.

For the last 20 years he has helped executives and entrepreneurs bring their game to work each day and coached them on how to be successful on the many days they aren't at their best. His clients are often surprised to learn that, like an effortless golf drive that rockets the ball long and straight, they can produce better results by learning to lead with effortless power.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Performance, Tom Hanson

Pod #345: EFT For Recognizing That Just Because There Are Problems, Doesn’t Mean They Are Your Problems (Pro-You Choices Part 4)

January 9, 2019 by Gene Monterastelli

Note: To get 2019 off on the right foot, we're going to end 2018 and begin the new year with a four-part series on how to make what I call “pro-you choices”. These are choices that are all about taking care of yourself. This is Part 4 of 4. You can find all four parts in the Pro-You Choices Series.

I can't imagine not being a thoughtful, kind person in the world. I am glad that at least some of the time I am able to respond to other people's wants, needs, and suffering.

But one of the consequences of being known to be thoughtful is that other people often come for help. In extreme cases, they aren't looking for help, they just want us to solve their problems.

At some point it can become too much and just because someone we love it having a hard time, it doesn't mean we are responsible for solving all their problems.

We can be thoughtful, helpful, and caring without taking on everyone's burdens. In this week's audio I have a story about how I was able to change the dynamics of a relationship where I had let a boundary down to the point that it was making my life difficult.

There is also a tap-along that will make it easier for you to be the kind and thoughtful person that you are without having to take care of every burden of everyone you know. (A printable tapping script can be found below the audio.)

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I know the people around me struggle…Because everybody struggles…Sometimes I can be helpful to the people around me…Because I don't want to see them suffer…And I don't want to see them struggle…And there are also times in which it is not best for me to be helpful…There are times when it is not best for the relationship for me to swoop in and solve the problem…And when that is the case…There is a part of me that feels bad for not being helpful…There's a part of me that feels bad when I see other people struggle…But I recognize that I am not able to solve everyone's problems all the time…I can't be in a situation where I take responsibility for other people's lives…Even though there's a part of me that feels like I need to help…I recognize the fact that sometimes that is not useful in the long term…I recognize the fact that is not healthy in the long term…It is possible for me to be responsible to my loved ones without being responsible for my loved ones…It is possible for me to be helpful without helping right away all the time…It is good for me to create boundaries…It is healthy for me to create boundaries…And it is necessary for me to create boundaries…I can be kind…I can be thoughtful…I can be helpful…I can be loving…And not take on the responsibility of everyone else's problem…There's a part of me that struggles with finding this balance…It is important that I find the balance…Creating boundaries isn't being mean…Creating boundaries isn't thoughtless…Creating boundaries isn't heartless…Creating healthy boundaries is a necessity for me…I give myself permission to create boundaries…I give myself permission to learn how to create boundaries and to stick to them.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Pro-You Series

Pod #344: Putting Yourself First with EFT (Pro-You Choices Part 3)

December 28, 2018 by Gene Monterastelli

Note: To get 2019 off on the right foot, we're going to end 2018 and begin the new year with a four-part series on how to make what I call “pro-you choices”. These are choices that are all about taking care of yourself. This is Part 3 of 4. You can find all four parts in the Pro-You Choices Series.

For those of us who are of a thoughtful and caring disposition, it is natural to want to care for others.

The problem comes when we spend so much time taking care of everyone else, we don't spend the time and attention that we need to take care of our own needs.

The simple truth is: If we don't put ourselves first, no one else is going to.

This week I have a tap-along audio (with printable tapping script below the audio player) to help to manage the guilt we may feel when we decide to take care of ourselves.

I feel guilty whenever I think about taking care of myself…I feel selfish…I feel mean…When I take care of myself…I feel like I am letting other people down…Because so many people are dependent upon me…The people around me are struggling…The people around me are in pain…I don't want them to struggle…I don't want them to be in pain…I don't want them to have difficult times…But if I spend all of my time taking care of everyone else… Then I'm not going to be healthy…I'm not going to be safe…I'm not going to be in a good position moving forward…I need to spend time taking care of myself…Because if I don't take care of myself…No one else will do it for me…Taking care of myself is my responsibility…Taking care of myself is something I must do…Taking care of myself is important for the short and long term…If I don't take care of myself…It will be impossible for me to take care of anyone else…If I don't take care of myself…No one else will do it for me…I must take care of myself…I know that's not just a suggestion…It is an imperative…And when I take the time to take care of myself…I am happier…I am healthier…I am safer…When I am healthier…The world is a better place…When I am healthier…It is easier for me to respond to the needs of others…When I am healthy or I make better choices…I give myself permission to take care of myself…And I give myself permission to not feel guilty about that…I am worthy of taking care of myself…I give myself permission to take care of myself.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Pro-You Series

Pod #343: EFT To Help You Say “I Don’t Know” (Pro-You Choices Part 2

December 26, 2018 by Gene Monterastelli

Note: To get 2019 off on the right foot, we're going to end 2018 and begin the new year with a four-part series on how to make what I call “pro-you choices”. These are choices that are all about taking care of yourself. This is Part 2 of 4. You can find all four parts in the Pro-You Choices Series.

I find that “I don't know!” is one of the hardest phrases to say.

When I say it, it is easy for me to feel disempowered, incompetent, and less than.

In a recent interview, actor and director John Krasinski talked about how the most powerful thing you can say is that you don't know.

It is an interesting idea. When we are able to acknowledge that we don't fully understand what we are supposed to do or how to do it, we are actually putting ourselves in a place of power. Our honesty means we can make the best possible choice, without fooling others or ourselves.

This week I have a tap-along audio (with printable script below the player) that will help you to be comfortable with not knowing.

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There's a part of me that doesn't want to look foolish…There's a part of me that always wants to look like I am competent…There is part of me that always wants to look knowledgeable…There is a part of me that wants to look like I'm trustworthy…I want other people depend on me…I want other people to believe in me…I want other people to think I'm capable…I want other people to be able to trust me…I am afraid that if I say I don't know…Other people won't trust me…Other people will look down on me…Other people won't think I am capable of being helpful…And they may judge me…But the truth is that it is useful for me to say I don't know…Then everybody knows where they stand…People know what they can expect of me…I know what I can expect of myself…By being honest in this way…I will create the greatest success…I will be able to move forward in the most natural way…And I will be able to get the help that I need…Getting help means I will be successful faster…Because I'm not dependent upon myself to figure it all out on my own…I give myself permission not to know everything…I give myself permission to admit to others when I don't know…Being honest about what I don't know serves me and serves everyone else.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Pro-You Series

Pod #342: Saying “No” To Holiday Invites With EFT (Pro-You Choices Part 1)

December 17, 2018 by Gene Monterastelli

Note: To get 2019 off on the right foot, we're going to end 2018 and begin the new year with a four-part series on how to make what I call “pro-you choices”. These are choices that are all about taking care of yourself. This is Part 2 of 4. You can find all four parts in the Pro-You Choices Series.

The month of December is a super busy time of year. There are work parties, holiday parties, meals with friends, family obligations, performances, recitals…the list goes on and on.

In a vacuum, going to any one of these events is fine, but when they stack up on top of each other they can just become too much.

Actor and comedian John Hodgman wrote last week in his newsletter:

ALL SOCIAL PLANS ARE OPTIONAL. Especially HOLIDAY PARTIES. Everyone will understand if you can't make it. They probably won't even notice you're not there (sorry, narcissists!).

And if it's a one-on-one thing, that's OK too. Your friend will forgive you if you cancel. They will probably be relieved, too.

There is a part of you that knows this, and there is a part of you that feels like you are failing if you follow through and actually do this.  

This week I have a tap-along audio (with script below the player) that will help you to give yourself permission to say “no” to at least one invitation so that you are happier and healthier this holiday season

The holiday season is crazy…There are so many things going on…There are so many invitations that I have received..There's a part of me that feels like I have to say yes to all of it…There's a part of me that feels as if I'm letting other people down if I don't go…There is a part of me that feels like I am missing out if I don't say yes…I recognize the fact it is OK for me to say no…I recognize the fact it is OK for me to turn something down…If I say no…I'm not making a judgment about the thing I'm saying no to…I'm simply saying it's not a good fit for me in the midst of all of this…The reality is that if I don't go to something, most people won't notice…The reality is most people won't care…Some people will even be jealous at my courage in saying no…It is OK for me to say no…It is possible that some people might get bent out of shape if I say no…It is possible that some people will be frustrated if I say no…I am not responsible for their emotional state…I'm not responsible for how they feel about my choice…If they want to be bent out of shape because I said no to an invitation…They're allowed to do that…That is their choice…I am not responsible for that…I give myself permission to take care of myself…I give myself permission to be thoughtful about what I say yes to…I give myself permission to look at the whole season and make good healthy decisions based on my needs…If I don't put myself first, no one else is going to…If I don't take care of myself, no one else is going to…I give myself permission to make healthy choices…Saying no to an invitation is a great way for me to take care of myself…I don't have to feel guilty about saying no…I don't have to explain why I'm saying no…I am simply taking care of myself…I am worthy of taking care of myself.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Holiday, no, Pro-You Series

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Meet Gene Monterastelli

Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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