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See all of the updates from our trip here.

Yesterday, following our visit to the Dian Fossey center we settled in the town of Musanze in northwest of Rwanda.

After an early breakfast we made our way to the Bigogwe Sector, Kijote Cell to spend the day with Callixte Rudakenga.

Here are a couple of (not brilliant) photos I took on the drive:

My words feel inadequate in describing this man and his journey, but here is my best shot.

Callixte was wrongfully imprisoned for five years. Eventually he was released, but while he was in jail he found a Peaceful Heart Network flyer from a workshop they had previously offered to inmates. He was inspired to reach out to the PHN via WhatsApp and shortly afterwards started his course of study.

Later that day, as we were driving to see the lake on the border with DRC, we drove past the prison where Callixte had spent five years. He happily shared what it was like to be in the facility, without a sense of anger or bitterness.

The reason we were spending the day with Callixte was because he was running a Trainers of Trainers course where he had been teaching TTT (the version of tapping taught by the PHN) and we were lucky enough to be able to participate in the final day.

The class was filled with healthcare and Red Cross workers.

I wasn’t able to capture it all, but this is how we were greeted by the class:

This welcome has set a high bar for how I hope to be greeted every time I enter a room in future!

We participated in some of the class teaching TTT and did some practice rounds with the students.

We then heard a number of testimonies about tapping from the students, as many of them had participated in prior classes.

Here are just a few of the things the students said:

• After tapping I can feel my body. I can feel my breath. It feels like praising God.
• It puts you in a state of calmness and safety.
• I can focus outward, because the noise in my head has stopped.
• There are lots of things bouncing around my mind…then they all go away.
• When I have a headache and I want to sleep, I start tapping. I never finish because I fall asleep tapping.
• My infant was crying. I tapped on him. First he laughed, then he fell asleep.
• I use tapping as my sleeping pill.
• Just by thinking about tapping, I feel better. I don’t even have to do it. It is the best thing for changing my mood.
• By calming my mind, it allows me to learn new things.
• My kids are more focused in class.
• I tap three times a day. I went from sick to having more energy than I know what to do with.
• When I have a question that I don’t have an answer for, I tap. It helps me to think more clearly and solve problems.
• My friends were suspicious because I was so different.

The rain
One of the women who gave her testimony talked about how before she learned tapping it sounded like it was raining, even when it wasn’t. It was a comment that needed some context for us to understand fully.

I grew up in the high, dry desert and I have always loved the rain.

In the 1990s I remember going to a reading by a poet from Cape Verde, an island nation off the coast of West Africa. Even though it's in the middle of the ocean, it doesn’t rain much there and in the local language, the word for rain and the word for hope are the same (my memory says the word is chuba, but I could be wrong). Because it rains so infrequently there, when it does, it brings new life and hope at the same time.

For those who lived through the Rwandan genocide, the opposite is true. It rained a lot during the 100 days in 1994 when the genocide took place, so many Tutsi people associate rain with trauma, pain, and death.

The woman sharing the story about hearing the rain, even when it wasn't raining, was really talking about the terror she associated with the rain that fell constantly during the genocide.

After learning tapping, not only did she stop hearing the rain when it wasn’t raining, but she was no longer terrorized by the rain or her past.

Their stories
For me, the most heartening part of the day was that when the participants talked about their experience with tapping, they first talked about how it had helped them and their families AND also in their work.

I love the fact that tapping isn’t just a tool that is helping them to serve their community and patients better, but something that allows them and their families to heal too.

How it all came together
So there we were. Sitting in a church in the northwest of Rwanda tapping, laughing, singing, and dancing.

The day happened because:

• Callixte, a wrongfully imprisoned man, decided to do good in the world
• The Peaceful Heart Network had done the hard work to get into a prison to make the lives of inmates better
• Callixte decided that every person in his part of the country should have access to tapping
• And YOU!

I didn’t know it until the middle of the day, but this particular training happened as a direct result of the contributions from the 24 Hours of Tapping fundraiser we ran back in July 2022.

If you donated even a few dollars, I want you to go back and reread the (abridged) bullet list above listing just a few of the benefits of knowing how to tap. Because of your contribution, the lives of 33 health care professionals and their families are better, their patients' lives are better, and the good ripples out even further than that.

One of the participants talked about how he had taught his children to tap, and his children had in turn taught all of their friends.

Another woman told the story of being left for dead in the genocide. Learning to tap has meant that she no longer experiences nightmares every night, and she is also sharing tapping with others.

You are a part of that amazing transformation!

Poems
In addition to testimonies, we have also heard poems. A woman who shared a poem about her healing asked Ulf and Gunilla to stand next to her as she read the poem. When she got to the line about gratitude for each of them, she paused and hugged them.

She didn’t just want them to know how much learning to tap meant to her, but she wanted them to feel it in the form of hugs. (Yes, this did add to my tear tally.)

And then we celebrated
After the sharing of reflections and testimonies, we celebrated.

All the participants received their certificates and PHN t-shirts. We took photos, and the participants also took photos, all wanting a record of themselves holding their certificates next to their friends.

Here is a group photo.

And then we ate!

Odds and ends

Didn’t register, but were welcome
At the training there were also a number of young children who were so much fun to have around. They weren't quiet, because they are small children, but they weren't a distraction either. Over the course of the day they were passed from person to person, with everyone being helpful and happy to see them.

Here is my sister making friends with the cutest little pumpkin.

I don’t always tap
In addition to the tapping training, I pulled out a few tricks, which was also fun.

Dinner by phone light
On Wednesday night there was a blackout while we were having dinner. It's not something that happens all the time, but is also not unexpected. It was absolutely pitch black and still, so we improvised with a water bottle and cell phone light to create candlelight.

Tear Tally
On Day 4, the tear tally is up to six, but all of my tears today were those of huge gratitude.

See all of the updates from our trip here.

We had a nice slow start to the day, which was much appreciated as we are still jet lagged and yesterday was jam-packed with experiences and emotions.

Good News Rwanda

After a nice breakfast at the hotel we walked to a local coffee shop that is a Kenyan chain called Java Love where we met Pius Nyakayiro for coffee.

Pius works for the organization Good News Rwanda. To be in his presence is to be in the presence of sunshine!

The organization provides amazing aid in a number of cities in Rwanda. They run education programs, they work with single mothers, and they help to get homeless children off the streets.

One of their big initiatives is to provide prison inmates with mattresses. Like many parts of the world, inmates in Rwanda are responsible for providing many of the daily necessities, including (but not limited to) their own mattress.

In the last five years Good News Rwanda has provided 4500 mattresses, primarily for incarcerated pregnant women and the elderly. Without the mattresses inmates would have to sleep on the floor.

Good News Rwanda worked with a garment factory to get custom cloth made with poems, scripture quotes, and affirmations so that the mattress covers would be made with fabric covered with encouraging words.

Pius said that they hired many survivors of the genocide to make the mattress covers. He said it was powerful work that helped to lead to forgiveness and healing, as the survivors of the genocide (who lost family members) were making mattress covers for some of the perpetrators of the genocide.

That story stopped me in my tracks and I had to ask Pius to pause for a moment, just so I could let it sink in.

We will be joining Pius on Friday to meet 100 inmates who have been through PHN's Training the Trainer tapping program. The people now teach tapping to the other inmates.

The mountains
Rwanda is called the land of 1,000 hills, though my guess is that there are at least 99,000 more! Apart from motion sickness, we had a stunning two-hour drive to the north of Rwanda, where the country borders DR Congo and Uganda.

The photos I took from our moving van do not do it justice.

Gorillas in the Mist

We spent about two hours at The Ellen DeGeneres Campus of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund. It is a research and educational center situated in the shadow of five volcanoes and a short distance from where Dian conducted most of her research and conservation efforts.

More than 400 college students live on the campus and help with research and conservation efforts while they work on their college degrees. Today, 98% of the research and conservation staff are Rwandan. We had the chance to chat with the staff and meet one of the young researchers, whose work is on golden monkeys.

The center just opened last February. It was a wonderful experience.

One of the clever things they have you do as part of the exhibit is a short quiz that matches your personality with one of the seven most famous gorillas from the project.

Gorillas don't have fingerprints, but they do have very distinct noses. The center had commissioned art of the seven nose prints of the seven most famous gorillas.

After taking the quiz, you were then tempted to buy some art work with the nose print of your gorilla match.

Looking at it through the eyes of a marketer, it is a brilliant way to connect visitors with the research on a personal level to encourage you to engage and donate.

I was matched with Titus.

Even though I didn't buy any Titus merch, I did buy a hand carved gorilla to join my menagerie of animal figurines collected on my travels around the world.

Odds and Ends

Akarusho
Akarusho is a banana based beer, which is a local favorite. Imagine what fermented bananas would taste like and that's akarusho for you. I am glad I tried it but I'm not sure I would go back for more. It tastes much worse coming up than it does going down, which was thanks to the motion sickness brought on by the endlessly winding mountain roads, rather than the beer itself.

Work with existing networks
At dinner a few nights ago Gunilla and Ulf were talking about the lessons they have learned from running the Peaceful Heart Network and its various projects around the world.

One of the greatest lessons they have learned is:

Partner with people and organizations that are already serving the population that you want to serve. Don't reinvent the wheel. Don't try to do the things you are not good at. Instead, focus on what you are expert at and join forces with those who are expert at what you are not good at.

It made me think of the Harry S Truman quote, “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” So often I work outside my expertise because I want it to be “my thing”. It is a good reminder that the outcome is way more important than the credit.

Orphan families
We have been lucky enough to meet a number of people who have been helped by TTT (the version of tapping taught by the Peaceful Heart Network). Many of them were part of Orphan Families. Orphan Families were houses of people in their late teens and early 20s who were orphaned by the genocide. They were gathered together in households of other orphans so that they could have families.

I keep finding myself caught between the horror of these types of problems (a country full of traumatized orphans) and the creativity being used to try to solve those problems.

Unexpected generational trauma
One of the types of trauma we have been talking about during our trip is the trauma that is experienced by young children of modern Rwanda who ask questions like, “Why don’t I have a grandma?” In these moments children are exposed to the horrors of their country’s past, which can be traumatizing.

In one of these conversations, we talked about the trauma experienced by the teens and young adults who find out about how their grandparents and great grandparents participated in the genocide. It is a trauma that just seems too much for a young person to bear. With each passing experience I am more and more impressed with the work of the PHN and its commitment to healing the human population.

Tear Tally
I decided it would be worthwhile to record the number of times I have cried on the trip. It's three times so far, and I feel sure there are more tears to shed.

See all of the updates from our trip here.

It was our first full day in Rwanda. The theme of the day was “what we are capable of” by which I mean what we humans are capable of, for good and for evil. Today's post contrasts how humans are capable of unspeakable harm toward others, and also of overwhelming love and goodness.

I am going to share this in two parts. Part 1 is about our visit to the Kigali Genocide Memorial and Part 2 is about our visit to the Kingdom Gate School. You will also find other odds and ends from the day at the bottom.

In Part 1, I will be talking about the realities of genocide. If that is not something that feels emotionally safe for you to read about, you can skip to Part 2. AND please don't think “I need to be tough enough to read about it.” That is not the case at all. Take care of yourself and what you choose to consume.

Part 1 – Kigali Genocide Memorial
There are certain parts of the human experience that are difficult to wrap your mind around. Genocide is one of those subjects.

In 1994, two million Rwandans were murdered by their fellow countrymen. At the time, Rwanda had a population of only seven million people.

Genocide is not something that just happens. It is systematically orchestrated, with the seeds of hate fermented.

This was done to the Tutsi people through the media, organized religion, government structures, and the influence of outside governments. The same tactics that were used in Germany by the Nazis were used to demonize the Tutsi. They used supposed genetic characteristics to other the Tutsi people. They used the word “inyenzi”, which means cockroach, to describe the Tutsi people.

Axes and machetes were provided so that neighbors could be unleashed on neighbors.

A visit to the Kigali Genocide Memorial is a stunning experience.

It is the burial site of over 250,000 Tutsi who were killed. As new mass graves are uncovered around the country, those remains are transported to the memorial so they have a more formal place of remembrance.

In addition to the burial site, there is an amazing museum. Not only does it share the history and social and political climate that created the conditions that allowed the genocide in Rwanda to happen, they also shared history of five other genocides that have happened in the last 100 years. They do this in the hope that all who walk through the doors will not see what happened in Rwanda as unique or isolated, and hopefully we will all be vigilant.

It was heavy. It was overwhelming. It was incomprehensible.

Then there was the moment I broke.

The last room is dedicated to the children who were murdered in the genocide.

There were hundreds of photos of the children who were murdered. For a number of them there were larger photos with some information about the child that included age, best friend, and favorite food. That was hard enough to read, but the last line was devastating. It listed how they were killed.

I will spare you the horrific details, but that was the moment I broke.

It makes me ask, “How are we capable of this?”

I use the pronoun “we” intentionally. As a human family, we are responsible for this. Obviously, there are some who are more responsible than others, but at the same time, if we turn away, we are part of the problem.

I am reminded of the quote below from Martin Niemöller. He shared many different versions through years, but the most famous version is:

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.

UBUMUNTU and the Rwandan People
This is the logo for the merchandise that is used to support the Kigali Genocide Memorial.

The brand is called UBUMUNTU.

Ubumuntu means humanity and refers to the quality of being humane; greatness of heart, benevolence, generosity and kindness. In the context of the genocide against the Tutsi, Ubumuntu refers to those who selflessly risked their lives to save others.

The Ubumuntu logo is a single heart formed by two people embracing, connected to the world. Inspired by Rwanda's traditional geometric design, it is a concept, a brand, and also a message that people carry with them.

In the midst of this indescribable horror and pain, I am most humbled to be among the Rwandan people.

To this day, their suffering is real and on the surface AND there is a lot of striving to overcome suffering, a lot of working on healing, and a lot of trying to create something great out of the wreckage.

And that brings us to the other side of the coin: what humans are capable of in the face of atrocities.

Part 2 – Kingdom Gate School
The Kingdom Gate School was created by David (photo below) who wanted to create a school for children without access to the education they deserve. It is especially geared toward children from impoverished circumstances and those without traditional family support structures.

David is an unstoppable flow of love, energy, and smiles, who would put the Energizer Bunny to shame.

The school itself currently caters for students from ages three to five. The school began in just three rooms. One was the classroom, one was the activity room, and one was where they ate. Since then, they have added one more grade every year, so many of the 5th graders have been with the school since its inception.

David started the school for a number of reasons. First and foremost he wanted to take care of the children. Second, he said “When you get the children, you get the whole family.” Meaning it was a great way to teach and help everyone, not just the kids.

When David wanted to introduce tapping to the community, he started with a group of single mothers. One of those mothers then testified (David's word) to the faculty of the school about how amazing tapping had been for her, and that created a domino effect.

Now tapping happens daily at the school. We were even able to be part of the ceremony where a number of teachers received their certificates for completing the tapping training.

In addition to teaching the younger children, they have created a vocational program for older teens to learn vocational skills like welding, tailoring, and carpentry. As David put it, “To help a person heal you must walk with them.” The vocational school means the teachers work side-by-side with the students, hearing about them and their lives, which provides a platform for more connection and healing.

One of the major results David reported was that not only was the faculty and staff happier and healthier because of their tapping, but they also collaborated better and came up with more creative ideas to solve problems at the school.

When asked if the school was going to keep growing by adding more grade levels all the way through high school, David said no, but shared that one of his visions is that when his students go on to attend high school, they will have a positive impact on their fellow students.

After touring the school and visiting all the classrooms, we were treated to presentations from the faculty and students. They told stories about how tapping has impacted their lives and then some of the students performed traditional and modern dances for us.

One of the teachers shared a poem called “Going to my happy place” in which he talked about how when he is overwhelmed by stress, he retreats to his happy place, which is tapping for relief. My First Action, Best Action members will recognize this idea of doing something first to change how you feel before you act.

The last thing we did before departing the school was to award certificates to the faculty and staff who had completed the TTT training. One of the things I am most impressed with is how the Peaceful Heart Network isn't coming in to “fix” situations or people. Instead, their aim is to teach local leaders what might be useful and then encourage them to implement it in the way that best serves their local community.

They were so happy and proud to receive this recognition and couldn’t be happier at how much better their own lives were, not just the lives of the students, because they now know tapping.

Other odds and ends

Hugs and handshakes
Something I've loved while being in Rwanda is when you meet someone, you first give them a hug and then you shake their hand. It is an interesting twist on the formalities of greeting that feels good to me.

First, take off shoes and listen
When David was sharing about his motivation for creating the school, he observed that so many of the churches came in and just preached at the people, telling them what to do and how to live. Instead, he wanted to meet the people where they are, before offering anything. Gunilla and Ulf talk about “first, we take off our shoes and listen” before taking any kind of action.

“What was pushing at your heart when you did that?”
David was talking about how he was working with a student who was acting up and had harmed another student. When processing with the student, he asked “What was pushing at your heart when you did that?”

That is such an amazing way to ask the question of trying to understand why we are behaving in a certain way. When something is pushing on our heart it is hard for us to live and act in an authentic and heartfelt way. It is a question you might want to ask yourself the next time you make a choice of which you are less than proud.

See all of the updates from our trip here.

At the moment I'm not exactly sure which way is up because of the way my mind and senses have been assaulted in the last few days.

On Saturday evening we left my apartment in NYC. It was 31 degrees (that's just below zero for my readers using Celsius), a light snow was falling and we weren't wearing jackets because we were on our way to just south of the equator.

Over the next 37 hours we had two red-eye flights, over 12 hours in layovers, visited the airports of Accra in Ghana, Nairobi in Kenya, and finally arrived in Kigali, the capital of Rwanda.

Along the way we met many kind and helpful people, ate some delicious Ghanaian jollof rice, and accidently tried to enter Ghana without a visa (it is helpful if you read all the signs at immigration and customs).

Once clearing customs in Rwanda we were greeted with big hugs from our friends and hosts from the Peaceful Heart Network – Gunilla and Ulf.

After settling into the hotel, we went over the plan for the next 11 days and then met a few locals for dinner, who were so charming and warm. I will tell you more about them in the next few days, once I know them a bit better and can do their stories and lives justice. They have lived quite some lives.

Two quotes from dinner:

1) When you cheers with drink glasses, the Rwandans will often say “Kubuzima bwacu” which means “to our life” in a Swahili dialect.

2) One of our local guides was telling us the story of his life and healing, which was a breathtaking story of suffering and overcoming struggle. At the end of it he said (with a smile as wide as his face because he is on the other side of healing), “I was professionally traumatized”!

After dinner I climbed into a bed for the first time in almost three days…such sweet rest!

Tomorrow we are off to a school for 6 to 12-year-olds to see how tapping has been introduced as part of their schooling.

A number of people have asked about our journey and what we will be up to while in Rwanda and Uganda. Here is the tentative plan. Make sure you keep checking back here for stories, updates, and photos along the way.

Jan 16th  –  Arriving in Kigali Rwanda at 1.30 pm. Stay at Auberge Beausejour. Resting time. Meeting, planning and dinner with Peaceful Heart Network special trainer in East Africa Placide Nkubito.

Jan 17th – Visit Kingdom Gate School where pupils and teachers have learnt Tapping. Lunch at Ubumwe Hotel rooftop. Visit Kigali Genocide Memorial Center. Evening with Logistics manager Eulade Mutimura and Lawyer Kabalisa Fulgence, both survivors of the1994 Genocide and very good friends of ours. 

Jan 18th – Meet Psychologist Ndabaramiye Olivier, Pius Nyakayiro director of Good News Rwanda, our partner in the latest prison project and others from Rwanda Correctional Service. Travel to Musanze (3 hours). 

Jan 19th – Take part in a workshop with trainers Callixte Rudakenga and Alphonsine. Visit the new Dian Fossey Research center below the Virunga volcanoes.

Jan 20th – Visit Musanze prison. One of the prisons where we have done most workshops. Visit Gisenyi/Rubavu and lake Kivu at the border to DR Congo.

Jan 21st – Back to Kigali. Meeting time is open. Flight to Entebbe Uganda

Jan 22nd – Meet Suicide Zero who have learnt Tapping from PHN. Travel to Murchison National Park by minibus. Approx 6 hours journey  

Jan 23rd – Murchison National Park with guide. 

Jan 24th – Transport to Moyo. Meet Pastor John Obonyo and his South Sudanese refugee community

Jan 25th – Take part in a workshop with Pastor John and others.

Jan 26th – Travel to Kampala Uganda. 

Jan 27th – Evaluation. Conclusion. Departing at 9 pm from Entebbe