Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Sadness

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Sadness can be one of the hardest emotions to use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) for. It just doesn’t do it justice to tap on the phrase, “I feel sad.”1

Somehow the word sad doesn’t encompass all that goes along with our feelings because there are many different flavors of sadness.

When I am faced with sadness the first thing I do is tap on the sadness without any words. I close my eyes and simply let the sadness grow in my heart. I am not running from it. I am not running to it. I am just being present to the feeling of the sadness. I feel it and let it pass. The whole time I am just moving from tapping point to tapping point.

The reason we use words when we are tapping is to help us focus in on the issue. Sadness is such a physically visceral emotion that it is very easy to tune into without words. After I have spent a little time tapping without words I will tap on a patter like this:

Right now I feel so sad…sad is such an inadequate word for this emotion…this sadness is cutting me right to my core…as if a part of me is being wrenched out…or slowly burned from the inside out…this sadness is trying to teach me a lesson…it’s worried I am losing or have lost something that is very important…it is afraid I am never going to get it back…it’s afraid that I am going to be without and incomplete…whatever I feel I have lost I am thankful that I did have it in my life…even if it was not for as long as I wanted it…I choose to know I am whole and complete without anything else…I have simply forgotten how I am connected to everything…even when it is not present…I forgive myself for any weakness or failure I feel because I am feeling sad…sadness is natural…it is nothing more than my body’s way of telling me that I fear not being complete…or whole…I am glad there is a part of me that worries about this…I know this sadness will pass…now that I have recognized the lesson this sadness is trying to teach me I thank it and let it pass
[How to use these tapping phrases]

It was like I didn’t have control over my own body!

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I would wake up in the middle of the night and…

walk into the kitchen for a glass of water.

The next thing I knew there was a pile of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups Minis wrappers on the table.

I had no recollection of eating them.

If I licked my teeth I could taste the remnants of what I had just eaten, but I couldn’t even remember enjoying eating them.

This didn't just happen once
At first I thought is was no big deal, a little midnight snack.

Then it started happening night after night.

It was as if I was possessed.

I didn’t feel like I could stop because I couldn’t even remember choosing to do it.

The only choice I had was to get rid of the sweets.

Then I found myself eating other things I didn’t want in the middle of the night.

Getting a Pad Lock
Locking the fridge to keep me out looked like my only option.

BUT then I was introduced to this simple NLP technique.

When I first experienced it I thought, “There is no way that did anything! It’s way too simple. I can’t change my desires just by changing a few images in my mind.”

I am happy to say I was wrong
I can’t believe how wrong I was. I know the power of the mind. I use it all the time in work, but this even blew me away.

Overnight (literally) the midnight eating stopped.

NOT ONLY THAT, but I also found my cravings for Reese’s candy had melted away.

PEAS! PEAS! PEAS!
The technique is so powerful that I tried it on a friend in a busy restaurant on a Friday night (the last place I thought it would work).

She knew that for health reasons she should be eating more peas.

We didn’t even do the full process. Just a shortcut version!

Three days later she sent me an e-mail explaining that she could get enough. Peas went from being disgusting to delicious.

It wasn’t that she could now tolerate something she needed, but she now loved them!

You too can have this transformation in your own home!
I have created a very special audio that helps you to create the exact same transformation in the comfort of your own home any time you want.

The full process is done in two parts.

FIRST, it will take the foods you don’t want your body to crave any more and move them from being uncontrollably desirable to you having no need for them.

SECOND, it will take the foods you do want to eat more of and make the first thing that comes to mind when you ask the question, “What do I want to eat?”

Do it over and over again
The best part is, this is an audio you can listen to again and again. As you encounter new foods you want to add or remove form your desires you can just listen to the audio again.

When I do this process just once with clients it takes 15 to 20 minutes, which is a third of a full session. That means my clients pay close to $30 to just do the process once.

With this audio you can do the process as many times as you want for one third of the price of working with me one-on-one just once.

Money Back Guarantee
If this does not completely eliminate the desires you have for the food you don’t want, just let me know and I will give you a full refund. That is how much I believe in this audio!

Price: $13.77 $9.95


Act now!

PS: Image what it is going to be like to want and love the foods that are good for you!

Not Knowing What To Tap On

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There are times when we know Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT), but we don’t know where to begin. We are either faced with so many issues our mind jumps from one issue to another, or we have so much going on that we can’t seem to get a grip on any one issue.

Almost every EFT/EvEFT resource instructs you to be as specific as possible. (This web site even does it in the basic introduction to EFT.) But sometimes this is just not possible, and then it is okay to deal with everything all at once just to make a little headway and to get some clarity.

The process is very simple. Tune into all the emotions at once as a giant constellation of emotions. Don’t worry about whether you can pull any particular piece off. Tap on a patter like this:

I know EFT is a very powerful tool…I believe it can help me…but right now I am having a very hard time…I can’t quite figure out what I need to tap on…I either can’t find one issue because there is so much…or there is so much that I just jump from issue to issue, never spending enough time on one issue to make a difference…I give myself permission to be easy with myself in this process…I give myself permission to know that I don’t need to do everything today…there is a part of all of this that is most important…I give myself permission to tune into my natural intuition to find the issues I need to be working on right now…I let all the other issues just pass away…like evaporating mist in the morning…I know I have lessons to learn from those issues as well…but I can deal with those another time…I let my natural resources of focus and intuition take me to and keep me on the issues I need to be working on…even if I never land on the issue I need to be working on…the fact that I have taken time to get a few deep breaths and to tap a little will serve me…I know by just taking this moment I am healing in a small way…even if I am not knocking out the issues I want to deal with.
[How to use these tapping phrases]

When Our Change Affects Others

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I love EFT and use it a lot. It’s been very helpful with small emotional issues and simple physical pains. But when it comes to bigger issues I have a concern. I’m afraid that if I change the person I am I will hurt the people I love. Do you have any advice?

Change of any sort can be scary. We can fear that we are not going to be able to manage the new situation, we can fear not knowing how to be in the new situation, and we can fear that others are going to be disappointed with us.

I see this quite often with my weight loss clients. Many have shared thoughts like:

  • “My fat friends aren't going to like me if I am thin.”
  • “If I loose weight my fat friends are going to think that I think I am too good for them.”
  • “If I loose weight I am going to make my friends who can't loose weight feel bad.”

It’s not a bad thing to think about how others are going to respond to our actions. This is rooted in our love for them. We don’t want to do things that will complicate the lives of our loved ones. BUT this can’t be the only thing we take into consideration when we a making a choice or a change.

The weight loss example above demonstrates this perfectly. It would be really nice if losing weight didn’t make our friends feel self-conscious, but our health is more important — giving use a chance to live a longer, more active life — than how our friends might feel.

From the outside this is very obvious, but when it comes to making these choices in our own lives it becomes very difficult for a number of reasons.

  • We don't want to make someone else feel bad
  • We feel selfish by choosing our needs over others
  • We fear that if we makes someone else's life harder they are going to leave
  • We don't deserve to make our life better at someone else expense.

These are all very real and powerful feelings that make it very hard to choose what’s best for us.

It is very important to recognize that not only do we deserve to take care of ourselves (making positive change of all types), but also we must recognize that these changes will benefit our loved ones, too. When we are healthy emotionally and physically it is easier for us to care for them.

When I bump into the issue of not wanting to change, I tap using phrases like these:

I would like to make a change in my life…but I know my life is tied to so many other people’s lives…if I change my life I am going to change others people’s lives as well…I worry about doing this…I don’t want to make anyone else’s life harder…especially if it is because of the choices I am making…I feel bad when I make others’ lives harder…or when I make them self-conscious about their own lives…many times I would rather carry my burden than pass a burden on to someone else…also, I feel very selfish for doing this…what right do I have to make my life better by making other people’s lives harder….I already have too much….who do I think I am that I deserve more…

I choose to know that I should be able to take care of myself…I deserve to make my life better…I know that even though I have it better than others…I deserve more…I am thankful for what I have…but that doesn’t mean that I should stop growing and changing…Many times when people feel bad about my change it’s because they are jealous of the work I’m doing…they are taking their feelings out on me for the change that they are not willing to make…if nothing else I can be a model for them of what change can be like…

When I make a change to myself I am not choosing myself over someone else…I am not choosing to make my life better at someone else’s expense…I am choosing to be better…I deserve better even if others aren’t going to make that choice for themselves…the fact that I worry about how this affects others means I am a loving person…but my choosing to change myself doesn’t mean I’m being selfish…I am not showing that I don’t love others…

I need to understand it is not an either/or situation…it is not that I can be better OR they can be happy…I can change, and they can be happy…It is not my job only to take care of everyone else’s needs…my needs are important too…I can change my life…and it might affect others….but I need to know my needs are important too…others don’t ask for my permission when they change…I don’t have to ask permission from others to change…

I need to make changes in my life…we all need to grow and change…when I make changes it is going to impact the lives of others …but I am not going to let this stop my healing…and growing…I deserve change…I need change
[How to use these tapping phrases]

I would recommend tapping on something like this before every tapping session to insure that you are doing the work that you really want and need to do.

Feeling Like You Are Backsliding

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Often when we do change work we feel like the deeper we dig into an issue the worse it gets. It is almost as if we stir up issues that weren’t there before. This can be frustrating and overwhelming.

We might ask, “If all I do is make this worse, why am I bothering? It’s not worth it! I give up!”

Even though we feel like we are not making progress, in reality we are. It just appears we are backsliding. Here is an analogy I like to use with my clients.

I grew up in Wyoming (one of the western states of the USA). Wyoming is filled with wide-open spaces. There are places in the state where you can see for well over 100 miles. Because you have no point of reference — like man-made structures — it is difficult to know how far you are from something or how big it is. This can create some interesting misperceptions.

For example, you could believe that the mountain that you are looking at is just on the other side of this hill. Once you get to the top of the hill you realize that there are really seven more hills before you get to the mountain. Because you can’t tell how big the mountain is you have no real sense of how far away it is. As you gain a greater perspective of the landscape, you gain a better sense of where you are in relationship to the mountain.

Even though you are moving forward, it feels like the mountain has moved further away because your perception of the mountain’s location has changed.

The same thing can happen when we are working on emotional issues. As we do work on the emotional issue we realize how big it really is (often much bigger than we thought it was in the first place).

As we come to these insights we ARE healing. We ARE moving closer to our goal. We’ve gained a new perspective of the issue at hand. Still, we can feel frustrated at the illusion of having lost ground. Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EvEFT/EFT) can take the edge off the feeling of backsliding to allow us to deal with the issues at hand.

Here is some tapping patter you could use with this issue:

It feels like I am backsliding…every time I do some tapping it feels like it is getting worse…I keep finding more issues than I fix…it is very frustrating…if it is going to be like this I want to quit…why do I want to make things worse…but I choose to know that I really am making progress…not only am I clearing out emotional issues…I am getting a better understanding of what I’m dealing with…this isn’t fun because I’m finding things I didn’t know were there…but by finding these things I now know the areas of my self and my life that can use healing…even though it feels like I am losing ground I know I am gaining ground…with each step forward…no matter how small…I am getting closer to where I want to be…the goal has not moved…it is in the same place…I just have a clearer vision of what that goal is…making it easier for me to get there
[How to use these tapping phrases]