Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

10 Free Tap-Along Audios To Help You Take Action (+ 10 More)

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Good morning (and Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends)!

My friend Jasmin is in the process of raising money for ovarian cancer research and is willing to wear old silly dresses to do it!

As of the writing of this note she is only 35% of the way to her goal and we need to fix that.

If you donate as little as $10 to the cause (and you can give more) I will send you 10 tap-along audios that will help you to take action towards your goals. These are not available on any of my websites or elsewhere. AND if she reaches her goal by the end of the month I will send you 10 more.

It is this simple:

1) Go to this link and make a donation
https://frocktober.everydayhero.com/au/wonderwebby

2) Forward me (gene@tappingqanda.com) a copy of the email receipt and I will send you the audios.

I hope you will consider helping out. We can do this!

As always, let me know what I can do to be helpful.

Gene

Sometimes Tapping Is No More Helpful Than Eating Ice Cream

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photo by Giuliano Maiolini

Good afternoon!

The other night wasn't my proudest moment.

I have been a little out of sorts and wasn't feeling my best.

I had ridden my skateboard (yes, I ride a skateboard) down to the 5th Street pier on the East River to do my evening prayers while looking over at Manhattan. Normally this is a great way to end the day. I am outside enjoying the fresh air blowing off the river, the beautiful view, and time to spend in thought and prayer.

Maybe it was because I have been working so much this week. Maybe it was because I hadn't made time to work out because I had so much work to do. Or maybe it was just one of those blah days.

I don't know why I was that way, but I did know what I needed to do.

I decided I needed ice cream.

So I walked to the grocery store and stared at the ice cream. For ten solid minutes I stared at ice cream. Part of me absolutely knew it was a bad choice and part of me just wanted ice cream. I can't imagine what I looked like just staring into the freezer?!

Bought the ice cream. (Dulce de leche if you must know.)

Walked home.

Ate two bowls.

Felt better.

And woke up at 3am feeling bad.

I know why I did it…I just wanted to feel better in the moment and my system knew on some level that a cheap ice cream fix would do the trick (in the short term).

I should have tapped, but I didn't.

The interesting thing is even though tapping right then would have been a better choice (and not eating crap food and getting a better night's sleep) I'm not sure it would have resulted in a long term change.

This week I want to share with you something I have been thinking a lot about lately.

The idea is this: There are times when I tap that it makes me feel better in the moment, but it doesn't result into any long term change. It is good that I feel better in the moment, but it is also easy to fall right back into the bad habit or bad feeling I was tapping for.

In the short term the tapping is much better than eating ice-cream. In the long term it really doesn't make much of a difference (much like eating ice-cream doesn't make a long term difference) because I am still falling back into my old ways.

You can read my thoughts here on how we can feel better in the short term and make a long term difference: https://tappingqanda.com/?p=9270

I would love to hear your thoughts on tapping to feel better, tapping for action, and getting caught somewhere in the tolerable middle.

As always, let me know what I can do to be helpful.

Gene

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Pod #119: EFT For Long Term Change Not Just Short Term Relief

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EFT does a great job of helping us to feel better in the moment. In a very short time we can go from being emotionally overwhelmed to calm. But we know there is much more that can be achieved with tapping. Not only is it helpful for short-term relief but it can also help create long-term change.

I had an interesting conversation with a client this week. “Jackie” was relaying the fact we had tapped for an issue a few weeks earlier, a major shift had happened when we tapped, and it was still hard to make new choices in the moment when the issue came up.

In today's podcast I address why Jackie experienced what she did and some simple things you can do with your tapping to make sure you experience not just short-term relief but long-term change.

Here is the podcast I reference in this recording. Pod #91: Using The Gamut Point To Make Long Lasting Change

What Do You Mean I Don’t Want To Get Rid Of The Emotion?

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Yesterday morning I posted this on the Tapping Q & A facebook page:

Post by Tapping Q & A.

The first comment I received in response to the post was:

Isn't it really anger elimination when you tap? It does far more than manage, don't you agree?

That is a great question. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques and so that would lead us to believe we are trying to be free of our emotions. But in fact, that is not our goal.

Here is my response:

No, it is not anger elimination because anger is helpful emotion. Anger shows up when we feel like we are being attacked. The guys I worked with in jail sometimes need the energy of anger to stay alive when they are in physical danger.

The problem is not anger. The problem is when the anger is disproportionately strong or shows up at a time when anger isn't the appropriate response.

It is OK to be angry when someone cuts us off while driving. The anger helps us to focus and avoid an accident. If we then pull over and cry for 45 minutes or follow the person who cut us off home so we can confront them, then the anger is too much.

No emotion is bad or should be eliminated. We want the emotions to show up at the right time and in the right proportion.

When we tap the goal is never the elimination of emotions. It is to help the emotions to show-up in proportionate and informed ways.

If you haven't done it yet, connect with Tapping Q & A on facebook.

Tapping Q & A | 

Pod #118: Using EFT To Stop Acting Like A Doormat

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photo by Jim Ellwanger

I recently had a great conversation with one of my clients. She started the call by saying, “I have some great news! I am no longer a doormat. I am asking for what I need. I am only helping others in a way that is healthy for me. Most importantly I am able to say ‘no' to others when I want to!”

After sharing this story in my newsletter many people wrote to me asking how they could achieve the same change in their own lives.

There are three main areas we can tap for when it comes to uprooting a doormat disposition. In order to enjoy the lasting effects of this transformation I would recommend regular if not daily tapping on these issues.

I encourage you to listen to the audio at the end of this post for examples of tapping for these three areas.

Take out a piece of paper and answer the questions below. The answer to each question will provide you with at least one tappable issue. Spending a little time tapping for one of these daily WILL lead to a powerful change.

Know That You Are Allowed To Say “No”

The easiest way to tell if you are acting like a doormat in your life is if you are never saying “no”. I am not implying that you should turn down every request you receive, but if you are never saying no then there is a problem.

I want you to think about times when you want to say ‘no' but you don't:

  • Who are the people you have the most trouble saying no to?
  • What would go wrong if you said no?
  • What negative thoughts would they think of you if you said no?
  • What negative things does it say about you when you say no?

Know That You Are Worthy Of Having Your Needs Met

One the reasons that we are a doormat to others is because on some level we believe that our needs are less important than theirs. Sometimes we don't even think our needs are worthy of notice at all.

  • What would go wrong if people knew what your true needs and desires are?
  • What could go wrong if you asked for your needs to be met?
  • Why are other people’s needs more important than yours?
  • In what area of your life do you feel like you have too much?
  • What emotion come up when you said out loud, “I am worthy of having my needs met”?

Being OK With Being Selfish

One of the biggest reasons we don't stand up for ourselves and our needs is because we’re worried that other people will perceive us as being selfish. I hear it all the time from clients, “I don't want to make it all about me.”

It’s great that we are concerned about the needs of others and that we don't want to make it all about ourselves. BUT chances are if we don't know how to take care of ourselves then we won’t be good at caring for others either.

  • What negative feelings do you experience when you do something for yourself?
  • How do you think others see you when you do something for yourself?
  • What would go wrong if you took time to care for yourself?
  • Who is being hurt and in what way because you aren't taking time to care for yourself for fear of feeling selfish?

Tapping Examples

Listen to this audio for some examples of how you can tap for answers to the questions above.

Note: Are you looking for more ways to change the way you stand in your personal power? Are you ready to stop acting like a doormat and start making “pro you” choices every day? Join us over at the Ruach Center for straightforward, practical tools to help you create the life you deserve.

Transforming from a doormat to being able to stand in your own power won’t happen overnight or after just one tapping session, but tapping a little every day will change how you see yourself. The Rauch Center has the tools to guide you through this process daily.