Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #115: Struggling To Give Self Care w/ Loretta Sparks

by

Taking care of others is easy to do. We see needs, suffering, and struggle. We respond.

Often (at least for me) it is hard for us to extend the same type of care and concern to ourselves.

In this interview with EFT Master Loretta Sparks we talk about some of the most common reasons that caring people have such a hard time taking care of themselves. We also talk about a number of simple tools and steps that can be implemented right now to make it easier to care for yourself.


Loretta Sparks

Guest: Loretta Sparks

Contact Loretta: web @ selfcarepower.com; facebook; youTube; twitter @<ahref=https: twitter.com=”” eftmaster=””>eftmaster; google+</ahref=https:>

About Loretta: Loretta Sparks is Past President of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and has been a licensed psychotherapist for more than 36 years. For almost 30 of those years she was on the clinical staff of a Addiction Medicine Department at Kaiser Permanente in Southern California. She is a Certified Addiction Specialist and trained extensively in Relapse Prevention. She is a Diplomat of Comprehensive Energy Psychology, and an Emotional Freedom Techniques Master and Trainer. She has contributed to five books written on the application of EFT and has written two guide books: Stress Relief and EFT, The EFT Personal Peace Procedure and a third book Compulsive Helping is in it final stages. Additionally, Loretta has 3 DVDs made on stress, compulsive helping and addiction. She has trained mental health professionals and as well as the public, nationally and internationally in energy psychology and Emotional Freedom Techniques since 1995.

She maintains a private practice in Hermosa Beach where in addition to seeing individuals and couples, she provides and consultation to other psychotherapists.

What A Former Felon Just Taught Me About EFT

by

Good morning!

I was stunned by the response to the email I sent on Monday. (If you missed the email, you can check it out here .) I sent it as simply a piece of information and I didn't expect what happened next.

Emails of encouragement came from all over the world. It was incredible!

One email stood out from the rest. It came from Jean-Paul who is one of my guys. And when I say “one of my guys” I mean he was in my EFT class in jail.

Jean-Paul wrote:

Not sure if you remember me. I took your class at the jail over a year ago. I have been attending a wellness peer run support group called Journey To Wellness here in NJ. I have been going there 2 days a week for about 6 months now. We do a little bit of yoga and meditation. I also attend a mindfulness group on Fridays and ocean mental health. I've been bringing up EFT over and over for a while now and getting a lot of interest. Last week I contacted a guy I met who teaches EFT and had him come meet the staff at Journey To Wellness. We will be starting an EFT group every Thursday this week!!! I can't wait.

I know…that is awesome!

I emailed Jean-Paul to see if it was OK to share his email with you and if he wanted me to change his name for privacy. I received an even more stunning reply:

I don't mind one bit. You don't have to conceal identity if you don't want to. This is something I am very passionate about and am looking to be more active in the near future.

Not sure if I mentioned but I will be starting school in Sept. for social work and cadc. I am going to do my damnedest to get them to let me into ocean county jail to teach mediation and EFT as well. It will be hard considering I'm a felon and have been locked up there but nothing is impossible.

Take a moment and digest that.

Go back and reread the second email he sent.

(Really, reread it…I'll wait.)

My first thought was “Wow! That is fantastic and so inspiring.” My second thought was, “We ALL need to be showing this kind of dedication to improving our lives!”

Jean-Paul is taking his mental health seriously.

You need to be doing it as well.

I know you agree. AND I know you are busy, overwhelmed, and don't know where to start.

That is OK.

You don't have to do it all at once.

I have a great resource for you if you don't know where to begin.

Take a few moments to read it, pick one idea from it, and spend 5 minutes tapping right now: https://tappingqanda.com/?p=434

Yes, I know you have a lot going on. But you DO have 5 minutes to take care of yourself.

What are you waiting for? Check it out now: https://tappingqanda.com/?p=434

As always, let me know what I can do to be helpful!

Gene

PS: I told you on Monday that things were changing. These are the types of emails you can start to expect!

* * *

There Is So Much, I Don't Know Where To Begin When Using EFT – I have a lot of issues that I want to use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/Tapping on, but I don't know where to begin. Should I deal with memories chronologically or should I approach them in chunks of related issues?

* * *

Self-Compassion w/ Rod Sherwin

Interviewing, Being Interviewed And Lessons Learned w/ Jessica Ortner

Tap-Along Audio: Changing How We See Ourselves And The World

Video: EFT For Physical Pain

There Is So Much, I Don’t Know Where To Begin When Using EFT

by

I have a lot of issues that I want to use Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping on, but I don’t know where to begin. Should I deal with the memories chronologically or should I do them in chunks of related issues?


photo by Brian Barnett

This is a question that I receive often. Once someone has been introduced to the power of EFT and understands how it can be used to address many physical and emotional issues, they start to look for all of the areas in their life to apply this powerful technique.

The problem comes when, as we do this self-assessment, we realize that there are many more issues beneath the surface than we initially thought.

At first this can feel overwhelming because there is so much to do. Once we get past the feeling of overwhelm (if you are having trouble with overwhelm see Overwhelmed By How Much Healing I Need – link) then the next task is to figure out where to begin.

There is no right or wrong place to start. With every issue we clean up we make progress, which will make it easier and easier for us to live with joy and fulfillment. What’s important is to recognize that not all issues have the same effect on our daily lives.

For example, let’s pretend I am phobic about monkeys. When I am around monkeys I lose my mind.

Could I use EFT to deal with this fear? Absolutely.

BUT, is this the most pressing issue in my life right now? If I lived in Costa Rica it might be, but since I don’t, it’s not the best use of my EFT time.

In my opinion the best place to start is with the issues and limiting beliefs that are affecting your life right now and having an impact on where you would like your life to go next. Clearing the emotional charges around the people and situations that you deal with regularly will bring immediate benefits and ensures that you invest your tapping time well.

Approaching What Is Going On Right Now With EFT & Tapping

I recommend that you make a few lists, starting with the people in your life you spend the most time with, or think about most. As well as those we see in person, we can expend a lot of energy in both positive and negative ways on the people we don’t see every day, like our family.

Take time to think about each person and your relationship with them. Pay particular attention to the emotions that come up as you think of them.

As you think of someone who elicits an emotion (or emotions), write down their name and what you are feeling. I would do this for the five to ten people you spend the most time with, or spend the most time thinking about.

Next go through the same process with the places where you spend most of your time and energy. These could be work, school, church, at your children’s activities, places where you shop often, and your neighborhood.

Again, give thought and attention to each of these places, writing down any emotions that arise on your list. Notice the emotions that you feel about the place itself as well as the emotions you feel when you are interacting with the community there.

Once you have finished creating these two lists you will have a wealth of areas on which to focus your tapping time.

Approaching The Future With EFT & Tapping

One of the main reasons that we don’t have the life we want is because of the limiting beliefs we hold about the world and ourselves. Figuring out what we want – because many of us don’t know what we truly want – and then finding and clearing our limiting beliefs is a more complex topic than can be dealt with in one short article.

There are many approaches to doing this. One approach is laid out in this four part series:

Getting The Most Out Of Your Tapping/EFT Time

When it comes to using EFT on a whole host of issues it is best to start in the place that will produce the greatest change in your life. If you can’t name one pressing issue, then find your focus by looking at where your life is right now, identifying the emotional struggles you face daily, and how you want your life to be different in the future. In this way you will see the greatest change for the time you invest in your healing.

People Have Been Asking, “Gene, are you still alive? Everything OK?

by

Good morning!

Two people contacted me this weekend because they were concerned about me. One was a text message that simply read, “Are you OK?” The other was an email wondering if they had dropped off my mailing list, “because they hadn't heard from me in a while.”

And it is true…for the last two and a half weeks I have fallen off the face of the digital earth!

There have been good reasons for this. I spent time in North Carolina helping out my friend Pamela Bruner with her Transform event, followed by attending the WDS conference in Oregon.

Oh yeah, and I moved to my new home, Brooklyn, NY in the middle of all of that.

And truth be told, only part of the reason I have been out of touch is because of all this craziness.

There is another reason…but for that you will need a little background.

The Last 6 Months

I don't know if you have noticed, but over the last six months the emails I have been sending you and the things I have been writing about have been changing, although the topic has been the same: tapping and stopping self-sabotage.

What has changed is the way I have been talking about it all. Very slowly the things I have been sharing have become increasingly
personal. I have been writing in a much more specific way about my own struggles and my own tapping work.

This has happened for two reasons.

First, it is a reflection of the change in me. Since the first of the year I have changed the way I do my personal tapping and
amazing healing is taking place. As this transformation takes hold in my own life I am finding that I am much more comfortable in my own skin, which is allowing me to be more honest with myself, with my loved ones, and with you my readers.

Second, I have found that when I am more personal I am a better teacher and you get more benefit from what I share. I am no longer talking just in general terms about healing, but can point to specific examples in my own life.

The Other Reason For My Absence…More Change Is Coming

The other reason I have been on a bit of a break is because I have been doing some internal recalibration (and the move to a new city has helped this process along). I have decided it is time to stop making gradual change. It is time for my work to represent more accurately who I am.

Once I made that decision (about a month ago) I have been working on my own courage to implement the change. I have been clearing out worry and anxiety about how all this will be received by people like you.

What Will Not Change

There are a number of things that will not change. You will still hear from me regularly. New podcasts will come out every Wednesday. Every weekend a new article or video will be published.

In many ways it will be business as usual.

What Will Change

There are few things that you will notice.

You will probably hear from me more frequently. I don't want to be a gentle, occasional reminder that you need to be tapping. I want the be the standard-bearer showing that we want to see transformation in our lives then tapping is something to be taken seriously and done regularly.

I will be getting much more personal about how tapping is and is not working in my own life. As I stated above I think this is going to be a win for everyone.

I will be asking you to do more. Gone are the days of “here is a nice tool you might want to try at some point”. Of course I won't be mean or harsh but I WILL be encouraging and calling you to take more action.

How Will You Respond?

I have no idea. Really, none.

You might be one of my readers who will love the change and you will feel supported, loved, and challenged. And because of it you
will take more action.

Or you might be one of my readers who will find it annoying, a bit overwhelming, too personal, unprofessional, or maybe just too much.

However you feel, I want you to make the best choice for you in how you respond to the changes.

I Need To Do This!

After a lot of soul searching this is what I need to do to be myself more honestly and more authentically. I need to do this to be of more service in the world.

As I write this I am at peace with this decision and my desire is to be the best I can be for you.

If you have any questions about the changes in the site, the newsletter, or in me please feel free to drop me a note. All you have to do is hit reply to this email and I will receive it.

As always, let me know what I can do for you.

PS: Remember there are over 75 free hours of training audios, interviews, and tap-alongs here: http://TappingQandAPodcast.com

Keeping Calm

by

One of the highlights of my recent visit to London was getting to visit the Churchill War Rooms. It was amazing to get that close to history.

There and everywhere else in London where tourists gathered you could find recreations of the World War II posters “Keep Calm and Carry On”. Though little used during WWII (full history) it made its way back into the public eye in 2000.

Here are two fun (or cheesy, depending on your point of view) twists on the posters. Feel free to use and share them however you like.

Version 1

Version 2