photo by Robobobobo
In the discussion forum of a program I help out with an interesting question was posted this week.
The poster, “Debbie”, told the story of having to deal with a lizard in her house. Debbie is petrified of lizards. When she saw the lizard she started tapping and tapping and tapping. Twenty minutes later she was still suck in the fear.
She didn’t feel one bit better and her question was, “Why did tapping fail?”
This is a really good question and a common experience. To understand what is going we need understand why the emotion showed up in the first place before looking at why EFT didn’t work.
Fear Is Good!
I know it seems counterintuitive, but fear is a good thing. Fear keeps us safe and it keeps us out of trouble. Fear helps us to recognize the things that could harm us.
So the problem is NOT fear. The problem is when fear shows up in a disproportionate or misinformed way.
It is good that I fear lions, but if my fear keeps me from leaving my apartment in Brooklyn then it is disproportionate.
Debbie’s paralysis over a small, harmless lizard is an example of fear showing up in a misinformed way.
Our System Doesn’t Want To Lose The Fear
At the most basic level our system “knows” that fear is a good thing because keeps us safe from danger. It assumes that if we are fearful of something it is for good reason and therefore it would be dangerous to release our fears and not respond to threat in the correct manner.
As in my example of being so fearful of lions that I don’t leave my apartment in a big city, my system’s instinct of self-preservation fights against tapping for and releasing my fear in case I decide to head up to the Bronx Zoo and climb into the lion enclosure.
I know that sounds silly, but the system will not allow me to clear the fear of lions because it believes the only reason I am safe is because of this fear.
Clearing The Resistance To Change
I believe that this is what was happening when Debbie tapped for her fear of lizards. Her system clung on resolutely to the fear of lizards because it believed that clearing it would lead to certain danger.
When it comes to tapping for anything, not just fear, it is important that we tap for our resistance to change before we tap for the issue itself. If there is a resistance to change then the healing and transformation process will be slower and harder.
Here is how you can tap in a general way to clear resistance to change before you jump into tapping for a specific issue:
There is a reason that my system is holding on to this issue…My system is convinced that this is how it can keep me safe and healthy…My system believes that if I release this issue I will be in more pain…But I give my system permission to know that it is safe to heal this issue…I give my system permission to know that I am only trying to change the misinformed information it is working from…I trust my system and want it to work as well as it can…I want what is best for me…And I know my system wants what is best for me too…It is safe and healthy for me to heal this issue…And if my system is unhappy with the change I can return to the old way…I am tapping on this because I want what is best for me…And I know my system wants what is best for me too.
Starting in this way will set you up for success. If you are looking for another simple way to set up your tapping sessions for success I would encourage you to watch this short video: 5 Steps I Take To Start An EFT Session (That Only Take 45 Seconds)
If you are looking for a boatload of tools to help you each time you sit down to tap you should check out the Ruach Center. In addition to over 100 tap-along audios there are 25 tools to help you tackle those issues where you feel stuck.
[Note: You might be wondering why there is a photo of a cute bunny rabbit on an article about fear. I was going to put a photo of a lizard, but didn’t want to trigger anyone who was afraid of lizards. I am guessing bunnies are a much safer bet.]