When I first learned EFT it worked really quickly on everything. Now it isn’t working as well. Do we build up a resistance to EFT?
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a wonderful and powerful tool, but just we knowing how to do EFT doesn’t mean we are going to heal. I often use the example with clients, just because we know how to sit-ups doesn’t mean we’ll have washboard abs. EFT is no different. It only works when we take the time to use it.
We have all experienced the obstacles people unfamiliar with EFT put up to trying it. (Ex: That can’t work. It’s too easy to work. It is too weird. That’s just new age mumbo jumbo.)
Recently I have come across two thoughts that have caused clients who used EFT for a long period of time to stop using it.
Expect The “One Minute Miracle”
I still experience great joy the first time someone I am teaching gets quick relief from something that has gripped them for years. Often they have tried everything under the sun for relief from the problem. EFT is the first thing to provide lasting relief. It is just unbelievable that it could happen so fast.
Then as they try EFT “on everything,” they obtain quick relief to both physical and emotional issues. But they hit a wall. They find some pain or emotion that doesn’t go away (or isn’t noticeably reduced) in one round of tapping. They reason, since EFT didn’t work in 60 seconds, it must not be worth the trouble to keep on trying.
In these cases it usually just takes a cognitive reframe to get them back on board to using EFT. I simply talk them through their own experience. Many times they had invested months or years to get relief. Sure in this case it didn’t happen in 60 seconds, but it might be worth their time to give it 15 or 20 min. Usually this is all it takes.
More Than They Expected
It is a phenomena that I have noticed mostly with the clients I work with regularly, especially when their issue has many aspects that require multiple sessions (like weight loss or multiple traumatic memories that are similar).
Typically what happens is during the third or fourth session the client will start to feel very overwhelmed by the amount of work that remains. Because (in many cases for the first time) we have been looking so closely at the roots of a particular issue, the client is starting to understand how many different aspects there really are to the problem. In the past they had only thought about the surface issues. Now because they are doing healing work, they are facing the root of the problem head on. Many times this involves issues and memories their conscious mind had been ignoring.
It’s like when we are cleaning a bedroom. After cleaning the room, we decide to look under the bed and find all sorts of dirt and dust we had no idea was there.
When this happens I remind my clients that right now they are taking the short view and are forgetting all the work we have done to this point. And we start to tap:
Right now I am overwhelmed with how much work is left…Everywhere I turn there is another issue or aspect…It’s just like an onion, every time I peal a layer off, there is another waiting for me…This seems like it is never going to end…But I know how much progress I have made with these issues…Even though there seems to be so much work to do, I know I am healthier now than when I started…I also know that with EFT I have wonderful tool to continue this work…I know how much the progress I have made in the past has improved my life…And I know more progress is ahead…All I have to do is take a little time each day to tap…I am making baby steps…It might not feel like I am moving forward…But I know I am.[How to use these tapping phrases]
Barbara says
Dear Gene,
I really appreciated this article. I have clients who say they want to try one session only. I have a new client who said she will give her issue two meetings, maybe three since she had been in therapy for years (about 18!!) and she doesn’t want to start any long term therapy. I saw her this last Friday for the first time. We only talked. I mean she only talked. You talk about multiple issues? This is the queen. I have a session with her next Friday. I don’t even know where to start. I’m thinking of taking one small “hand able” issue just to be able to show some kind of result. What do you think?
Thanks,
Barbara
P.S. I really enjoy your Q&A’s. Thanks.