I know EFT is most effective when I am really specific about what I am tapping on, but I am really having a problem with that because there are so many emotions at once I don’t know where to start. One thought leads to the next that leads to the next. What do I do when I don’t know what to focus on because there is so much going on at once?
Almost every resource on Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), including mine, will tell you that the fastest way to have success with EFT is to be as specific as possible. But there are times when this is really hard to do. Unfortunately, when we don’t know where to start we are much less likely to do any EFT at all.
Having a whole constellation of emotions all at once is much more common than you would think. It most often happens with my clients when we are starting a session. At the beginning of a session, after the small talk, I generally ask the client, “What would you like to spend our time on today?”
My client will then share what their hope is for the session. Sometimes they will have a whole list of issues. These issues can be related to each other, or they might be just a whole group of issues that have come up since we last talked. Often after talking about what they would like to work on they will be very emotional (because of all the emotion they stirred up as they described their issues) or they will say something like, “…and I have no idea where to begin.”
In these cases I would lead them in a tapping session much like this:
“I would like you to start tapping and close your eyes…take a deep breath…I would like you to tune into all the emotions and issues you just brought up…not in any specific way…but just in a general way…tune into the total constellation of emotions…don’t try in any way to see any specific part…just tune into them all together…you might notice them somewhere in your body…or outside your body…just listen to my words…right now I have lots of emotions all at once…I am not sure where to start with all these emotions…but that’s okay…we have lots of time to deal with them in the order they need to be dealt with…I am thankful for all these emotions…every one of these emotions represents a part of my that is trying to protect me…or a lesson my body wants me to learn…I am thankful that my body is willing to do this for me…to take care of me by having me feel these emotions…but right now what I really want to do is learn these lessons…and let these emotions pass…I thank my body for its healing ability…and the fact that I can let these go right now…right now I see light and energy and healing pouring into this constellation of emotions…there is some other place these emotions are needed in the universe…they are no longer needed here…so any of these emotions that need to go somewhere else can do that now…any of the emotions that want to stick around are now changed into something else that is helpful to me…just feel the constellation of emotion melting away…one more deep breath…and open your eyes. [How to use these tapping phrases]
After we do this, I check in with my client to see what has come to mind and where we need to head next. Typically this has calmed my client down a great deal, enough that they can see much more clearly what they need to be tapping on next.
This might be compared to cleaning a house that hasn’t been lived in for a long time. When you first walk in it’s completely overwhelming because trash and dirt are everywhere. The first step is to get some big plastic bags and just walk through the house grabbing all the big things that are obviously trash. After you do this you can see more clearly what the next step is.
You don’t need to be working with a practitioner to do something like this. The next time you’re struggling to know where to begin your tapping, take a few moments to just tap on the group of emotions. After you do this you will have a little more focus knowing which issues to tune in to first.