It’s hard for me to get motivated to do EFT because I’m afraid I’m going to do it wrong. What can I do?
Trying new things is always hard. We get used to being able to do things well. Most of us, as adults, don’t have to learn many new skills. Because of this, when we are faced with learning a new skill we’re uncomfortable.
Learning a new skill means we have to admit we don’t know something.
It means we can expect to fail on some level because we are not going to get it right the first time.
When we were small children learning to walk, we failed lots of times. Each time we failed there was the consequence of falling down. And we did this a lot.
Not only that, we learned to walk in front of our family, who saw us fail time and again, but we could finally take a few wobbly steps on our own.
Luckily we weren’t self conscious at that point in our lives. Failure did not deter us. Having others see us fail didn’t stop us either. We simply wanted to walk, and we were going to do whatever it took to do it.
As adult, it’s not as easy. We don’t like the feeling of failure. We don’t like knowing we are not very good at something. We REALLY DON’T LIKE having others see us struggle at something.
Because of these feelings there is a part of us which will try (and often succeed in) talking us out of trying new things. This part of ourselves is trying to protect us from the feelings of failure and embarrassment of looking bad in front of others.
These feeling are fine to have, but if we let them control us we will never try anything new and we won’t grow.
It is no surprise that people have a hard time doing Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) on their own at first.
First, EFT itself is so mysterious. It is a modality outside of our normal experience of the world. (What do you mean tapping my face will reduce my fear?) Because it is so foreign to our experience, it must be very hard to master.
Second, typically when someone learns EFT, they learn from an experienced EFTer. This person seems to come up with just the right phrase at the just the right time. It appears that picking the right phrase is a difficult skill to master.
Speaking as someone who has done EFT for a long time, when I’m working with clients I’m often guessing right along with the client as to what phrase to use next. With experience I’ve gotten better at figuring out what path to head down. But I don’t always know what I’m doing.
The reason I am able to do this, is because EFT is so forgiving. There is no way that you can do EFT wrong. If you do a round of tapping, getting no progress, the round is not a failure. Instead the round has given you information.
You now know you might need some water in your system, that you are psychologically reversed, or you need more specific phrases. You are one step closer to success because you have more information.
It also didn’t cost you very much to get this new information. It only cost you 45 to 60 seconds. With this new information, you can then start a new round of tapping.
If you struggle with feeling you are going to fail when you do EFT, here are some phrases you can use to start your session.
I know EFT is a powerful tool….I have seen it work in my own life….I have felt it in my own body….I’ve heard amazing stories of all that it can do….But I worry that I am not going to do it right….It is still something I don’t understand….It worked great when I was working with Gene….He is really good at EFT…. I’m not as good as he is….But I choose to know I can’t do this wrong….Even if I use the wrong words….Even if I tap the wrong points….There is no penalty for doing this….I only waste a few second of my life….Each time I do a round of tapping I get more information….Making the next round of tapping more successful….I give myself permission for the next 20 minutes to make mistakes….Because making mistakes is the only way I am going to learn…I’m not very good at EFT right now….But the only way I can get better is if I try — and make mistakes….This is how I learned to walk, and talk, and drive a car….At the beginning those things were really hard to do….But with practice I got better….I am going to do the same with EFT….I am going to try, because it is in the trying that I am going to learn. [How to use these tapping phrases]