Is there anything I can do with EFT to help with my emotional triggers?
photo by Fergus Ray Murray
In part 1 of this series we looked at what emotional triggers are and what we can do after one of these triggers has been set off. In part 2 we are going to talk about the emotional triggers we know we have.
You know what your triggers are. Do something about them!
Our emotional triggers are not a secret. We know them. Our friends know them. Our family knows them. The problem is, it isn’t much fun to think about the people, places and experiences that sent us into a state of anger, frustration, sadness, or depression. Before we begin, it’s good to deal with the resistance we might have to making change and having to deal with these unpleasant thoughts.
This can simply be done by tapping (adding Choices phrases suggested by Pat Carrington)…
Even though I don’t know if I really want to face these emotional triggers, I choose to give this a try and see what happens…Even though I have some resistance to thinking about the people, places and things that set me off, I choose to find it pleasant and relieving to do so…Because if I think of them now I am going to bring up the feelings that come with these triggers…I don’t really want to go there…I also know part of the reason I have these triggers is because some part of myself thinks these triggers are protecting me and on some level are keeping me SAFE…But I know that even though this is true for part of me, it is not true for all of me, and it is in my best interest to take the sting out of these triggers…I give myself permission for the next few minutes to do work on these triggers…Even though it looks like I am stepping into an emotional mine field, I know this is good for me…I know by doing this work now I am going to respond better in the future…And if any strong emotions come up during this time I know I have the very powerful tool of EFT to deal with these emotions…By taking the time to do this work, I am demonstrating to myself that it is important that I take time to care for myself.
Once we are clear of any resistance to do this work, we can now take on our emotional triggers. Here is a simple exercise I recommend to my clients to help them find their triggers.
Sit in a quiet comfortable place where you can do your EFT work undisturbed. Make sure you have something to write with (pen or pencil) and some paper. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself these questions:
- What are my emotional triggers?
- What topics of conversation set me off?
- Is there something, every time I see it, that causes an emotional reaction in me?
- Who are the people who set me off?
- Where am I (in what location) most often when my triggers are set off?
- Who are the people I would like to avoid?
- If I could live life over again, what one person or experience would I avoid?
As you ask yourself these questions, when a trigger comes up, open your eyes, write it down, and close your eyes again to think of more. Do this for five or ten minutes. Even if you get to a point where no new triggers are coming up, continue to sit with the questions, looking for more.
When you get to a point where no more triggers are coming up, ask yourself, “What triggers am I afraid to bring to mind?” After doing this, you will have a great list of emotional triggers to do work on!
You don’t have to work on all the triggers in one sitting. You might decide to work on only one or two during a single Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) session. With this list you have a great starting point. Even if it takes a few weeks to work your way through your list, you can’t help but make progress. What matters is that eventually you resolve everything on your list.
Also, come back to each item on your list several times; there may be several aspects to each. Make sure you clear every aspect.
In part 3 of this series we will explore how we can look into the future to see what situations are going to contain emotional triggers for you. This way you can easily take the sting out of the triggers that cause problems frequently.