Tapping For Learning and Trying New Things (part 1) – AKA Finding the reason we don’t do the things that will improve our lives

Can I use meridian tapping (EvEFT) to help me learning new things? [Note: In this part of the series I use tapping to learn something new as to show how we can find the reasons we talk ourselves out of making the choices and taking the action that will move us forward.]

photo by m00by

Tapping is a great tool for learning new things and can be helpful in two regards. The first is our attitude about learning new thing and the second is the process of learning new things.

Attitude About Learning
On the surface it might see a little odd to consider our attitude towards learning. It makes sense that we might not be skilled in a certain area, making learning something harder for us than it is for others. It would seem that if we want to learn something new our attitude would be in the right place. But this isn’t always the case.

No matter how much we want to make a change in our lives it is very important to consider the consequences of the change. Every change we attempt is going to have a ripple effect in other parts of our life. If part of us believes that these ripples are going to have negative consequences them we are going to talk ourselves out of making the choices we need to make to achieve our goal.

A very simple example of this is the fear of failure preventing us from stepping out. When we have a part of us that is very scared that we might fail — and believes failure to be painful — it is going to work very hard to come up with excuses not to spend time working on the new skill. (“I can do it later.” “I need to do the dishes first.” “I don’t study well at night. I can wait until morning.”)

In this case, fears of the pain of failure is going to prevent us from trying, even if we know the new choice is something we really want. If we are able to name the beliefs that are going to prevent us from moving forward and clean them out then we are going to be much more likely to make the changes we want.

As we look at doing something new, like learning, I am going to speak of these in terms of cost because with everything we do we are spending a number of resources. Not only do we sometimes spend our money to make a change we are also spending our time, our emotions, and our energy.

Just because something is a cost doesn’t mean it is bad. I am very happy to pay with my emotions, my time, and my money for things that bring me joy and improve my life. But understanding that there is a cost involved in making changes helps us more clearly understand where we might resist making this change.

In each of the areas I am providing a series of questions you can ask to help you unearth the tappable issues. These are by no means comprehensive but will provide a good start.

The Cost of Failure
The reason I used this example above is because it is the most obvious source of worry that can prevent us from trying to learn something new. No one likes to feel like a failure. It is no fun to invest our time, resources, and emotions in to something only to have it fail. Not only do we feel like was have wasted these resources we don’t like having it pointed out that we are no good at something.

Ask yourself:

• What happens if I try this and fail? How will I feel?
• How have I felt about failure in the past?
• What are other people going to think if I say I am going to do this and then don’t follow through?
• How will I feel if I only accomplish half my goal?

Failure is a fact of life (at least for me). I am not going to get everything right the first time. The more we can do to equip ourselves to deal with these failure the easier it is going to be for us to try something new.

Many times the fear of failure feels so much bigger than actual consequences of failing itself. There are times were I have been able to tap on the idea of “It is possible I might fail at this, but it won’t be the end of the world. The upside to trying is so much bigger than giving it a go and failing.”

The Cost of Time and Other Resources
Almost every change in our life takes more than simply changing our mind. If we are going to learn something new we have to spend time in the learning process. In some cases it is even going to cost us money for classes and/or study aides. It is important to understand what these costs are before we begin.

Ask yourself:

• How much time am I going to have to invest to achieve my goal?
• What am I going to have to give up in order to have the time to work to my goal?
• How much money is it going to cost me?
• Is the goal worth the time and money it is going to cost to achieve the goal?
• How is perusing the goal going to effect other people in my life? [Ex. Does going to night school mean less time with the family?]
• Is there anyone in my life who is going to be frustrated with me if I invest my time in this goal?

This might seem like a trivial example, but this is something that really came up with a client. My client “Jane” was looking to add exercise to her daily routine, but was worried how the other ladies at the coffee shop would take it if she didn’t come in and talk every day. These were not her close friends. There was still a part of her that was worried what they were going to think. Exercising was going to cost her time hanging out in the coffee shop. Once we were able to name this we were able to tap on the fact that it really didn’t matter what the ladies in the coffee shop thought about her. The exercise was much more important.

The Cost of Achievement
This is an example of another cost that doesn’t always come right to mind. There are consequences (and perceived consequences) to us achieving our goal. The fear of success can talk us out of making the choices and changes we want to make.

Ask yourself:

• What happens if I do achieve this?
• Will people expect more of me?
• Will people expect me to live up to this standard again and again?
• What happens if I achieve this, enjoy the change, and then loss it?
• What will other people of me think if I achieve this?

The last question is a tricky one because it brings up a fear that on the surface is very illogical. Why would what other people think matter? The amazing thing is how commonly this fear can affect us. For example, we could be worried that other people in our lives are going to think that we are snobbish because we have taking the time and effort to move forward.

I am sure you have people like this in your life. They say things (or think things) like, “Who does she think she is getting a new job? Does she think she is better than the rest of us?”

Worried about how others are going to perceive our success can be very powerful is slowing us down. Again, I am not suggesting that we don’t act because people might think this way, but instead by naming these worries we are able to tap our way emotionally clear making it easier for us to act.

Conclusion
It is possible for us to have thoughts and feelings that prevent us from trying to do new things or learn new things. It is important that we spend a little time identifying and clearing these issues before we start something new.

This doesn’t mean that we need to be completely clear before we start. This is going to be an on going process. As we do or learn new things we are going to find new resistant thoughts and feelings.

What is most important is to be away of the thoughts and feelings that are possible pit falls. We are much better dealing with the possible issues that are named than the ones that go unnamed.

In part 2 of this series (“Act of Learning“) we will look at using tapping during the act of learning and studying.

About Gene Monterastelli
Gene is a Baltimore, MD based EFT practitioner, the editor of Tapping Q & A, and the host of the Tapping Q & A Podcast (archive | iTunes). Learn more about Gene here or find out how to work with Gene here. You can connect with Gene on his personal twitter, his tapping twitter or on facebook.