Archives for October 2007

Is there anything I can do with EFT to help with my emotional triggers?

photo by ShimShamB

In part 1 of this series we looked at emotional triggers after they have been set off. In part 2 we examined the emotional triggers we know we have. In part 3 of the series we will look at how to take the emotional charge out of the triggers we might encounter in the future.

Looking into the future to see what’s coming up.
Many times our emotional triggers catch us off guard. There are other times when they are no surprise at all. We know what we’re walking into. We know we are going to encounter people, places, or experiences that are going to set us off. We simply need to take the time to consider all the people, places, and experiences of our day that might trigger us.

If we know what’s coming, we can do work ahead of time to help us respond in the way we truly want to. For a fuller explanation on how to tap on a specific event in the future read thisarticle on future tapping. 

Here is an example of how we can do work ahead of an event that we know is going to trigger us emotionally.

For example, you have a meeting later today with a co-worker who can be counted on to bad mouth you and your work. When this has happened in the past you’ve had feelings of self-doubt, making you useless for the rest of the day, because it’s the only thing you can think of.

You can’t avoid the meeting, and you can’t change the attitude or actions of your co-worker. You can change the way you are going to respond to this trigger.

First test 0 – 10 the truth of this statement: I am going to let my co-worker’s remarks about my work affect the way I feel about my work or myself.

If this statement rings true, we begin tapping…

I’m not looking forward to my meeting with Dave today…He always says horrible things about my work and about me…When he does I feel like a wreck for the rest of the day…When he says those things it makes me questions my own abilities…I don’t know why he says these things…Maybe he feels uncomfortable around me…Maybe he’s intimidated by my work…Maybe he’s afraid he doesn’t do very good work…This might be why he attacks me…I can’t change the way he thinks, what his fears are, or that he is attacking me…But I don’t have to take these things personally…Just because he says it doesn’t mean it’s true…When he says those horrible things about my work and about me I am just going to let them roll off my back…Because I know they aren’t true.

After doing this, recheck the statement. If it is not to a 0, tap through the sequence again.

Planning ahead to deal with the emotional triggers we are going to face in the upcoming day is powerful. Is it going to make it so your triggers have no effect at all on you? Maybe, maybe not. But it will lessen our emotional response to these triggers.

If you do still have some emotional response to the trigger, this again is good news. It tells you that you’re on the right track. The work you’ve done has made a difference, and now all you need to do is keep working on this issue.

Things to remember:

• Be honest with yourself about your emotional triggers. It does no good to pretend they aren’t there. Tap to eliminate resistance to doing this work and then tap on the trigger itself.
• Every time you encounter an emotional trigger it’s new information about you. This information is a gift. Don’t waste the gift. Take this information and use it to heal yourself.
• Just because you are doing work on an emotional trigger doesn’t mean that you won’t be triggered by it in the future. But each time you work on a trigger, the closer you’ll be to having no negative emotional response at all.
• You know the things you face in the future which are probably going to affect you. Take the time at the beginning of the day or right before you face one of your triggers and do some preventive work.

Emotional Triggers (part 1 of 3)
Emotional Triggers (part 2 of 3)

Is there anything I can do with EFT to help with my emotional triggers?

photo by Fergus Ray Murray

In part 1 of this series we looked at what emotional triggers are and what we can do after one of these triggers has been set off. In part 2 we are going to talk about the emotional triggers we know we have.

You know what your triggers are. Do something about them!

Our emotional triggers are not a secret. We know them. Our friends know them. Our family knows them. The problem is, it isn’t much fun to think about the people, places and experiences that sent us into a state of anger, frustration, sadness, or depression. Before we begin, it’s good to deal with the resistance we might have to making change and having to deal with these unpleasant thoughts.

This can simply be done by tapping (adding Choices phrases suggested by Pat Carrington)…

Even though I don’t know if I really want to face these emotional triggers, I choose to give this a try and see what happens…Even though I have some resistance to thinking about the people, places and things that set me off, I choose to find it pleasant and relieving to do so…Because if I think of them now I am going to bring up the feelings that come with these triggers…I don’t really want to go there…I also know part of the reason I have these triggers is because some part of myself thinks these triggers are protecting me and on some level are keeping me SAFE…But I know that even though this is true for part of me, it is not true for all of me, and it is in my best interest to take the sting out of these triggers…I give myself permission for the next few minutes to do work on these triggers…Even though it looks like I am stepping into an emotional mine field, I know this is good for me…I know by doing this work now I am going to respond better in the future…And if any strong emotions come up during this time I know I have the very powerful tool of EFT to deal with these emotions…By taking the time to do this work, I am demonstrating to myself that it is important that I take time to care for myself.

Once we are clear of any resistance to do this work, we can now take on our emotional triggers. Here is a simple exercise I recommend to my clients to help them find their triggers.

Sit in a quiet comfortable place where you can do your EFT work undisturbed. Make sure you have something to write with (pen or pencil) and some paper. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself these questions:

• What are my emotional triggers?
• What topics of conversation set me off?
• Is there something, every time I see it, that causes an emotional reaction in me?
• Who are the people who set me off?
• Where am I (in what location) most often when my triggers are set off?
• Who are the people I would like to avoid?
• If I could live life over again, what one person or experience would I avoid?

As you ask yourself these questions, when a trigger comes up, open your eyes, write it down, and close your eyes again to think of more. Do this for five or ten minutes. Even if you get to a point where no new triggers are coming up, continue to sit with the questions, looking for more.

When you get to a point where no more triggers are coming up, ask yourself, “What triggers am I afraid to bring to mind?” After doing this, you will have a great list of emotional triggers to do work on!

You don’t have to work on all the triggers in one sitting. You might decide to work on only one or two during a single Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) session. With this list you have a great starting point. Even if it takes a few weeks to work your way through your list, you can’t help but make progress. What matters is that eventually you resolve everything on your list.

Also, come back to each item on your list several times; there may be several aspects to each. Make sure you clear every aspect.

In part 3 of this series we will explore how we can look into the future to see what situations are going to contain emotional triggers for you. This way you can easily take the sting out of the triggers that cause problems frequently.

Emotional Triggers (part 1 of 3)
Emotional Triggers (part 3 of 3)