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Good morning, Last week I was having dinner with a friend I’ll call “Sally” at a place that serves the most amazing chicken and waffles. As we were enjoying dinner she explained that she was having a really hard time. She was in the middle of a move. Her job was stressing her out. She was thinking of changing careers. AND she had been sick for weeks. I was listening closely as caring friend. She stopped. Looked me dead in the eye and said, “I know you like to leave your work at work, but right now I don't need my friend Gene. I need Gene the coach. Help!” So I smiled, ordered another drink, and began to ask her some questions. It Only Took 10 QuestionsOver the next 45 minutes I asked her ten questions. With each answer she gave I repeated back what she had said in my own words and asked a few follow-up questions. At the end of 45 minutes she said, “Wow! You’re so smart. Thank you for helping me out with that.” The funny thing is, I didn't say anything smart. I didn't offer any advice. I didn't make any suggestions. I didn't help her plan anything. I simply asked ten questions and in the process of answering those questions she was able to see clearly what she wanted – and, more importantly, needed – the steps she needed to take, and the emotional blocks she needed to clear in order to be successful. These Are Not Random Questions
The 10 Question System (I know it’s not an awfully catchy name) is very powerful and something I use in my own life as well as with my clients. This system guides me when I’m trying to do something as small as reorganizing my office or something as large as creating a new product line. I Want You To Learn This SystemOn the surface this system looks super simple and that is because it is simple. BUT just because something is simple doesn't mean that it is easy to do at first. To that end I have created a training program that will walk you through the full system. Not only will you know the right questions to ask and the right order in which to ask them, but you will understand the motivation behind each of the questions. Once you master the why of each question it will stop being a formula and start to be something that you can integrate into your daily life as you make choices, as you are helpful to your friends and family, and can be integrated into client work if that is what you do. And it is not just ten questions! Each step along the way I teach you how you can tap for the information that comes up from each of the questions. You are not just figuring out what you want and need but also how to clear the issues that will (and always do) come up along the way. What Is In The Program?The system consists of more than 4 hours of audios which will teach you:
Bonus Tools To Help You Achieve Your GoalsThis system is great at uncovering the root causes for not taking action and the limiting beliefs that make it difficult for you to take action. I want you to be successful. I want you to achieve your goals. To that end I am adding four audio bonuses that you can use to knock out these common beliefs and fears:
That is $55 in free tap-along audios that you can use over and over again. Very Special DealThe system normally costs $189, but for the next two weeks I am making a special offer. In addition to the $55 in bonus tap-along audios you can get the system in one of three ways. 1) The Full Program: You receive the bonus audios and the full program for only $97. That is a 49% discount. Get It Now! 2) The Program + A Little Help: You will receive the bonus audios, the program, and one full hour working one-on-one with me to help you quickly knock out the stubborn issues uncovered by the system for only $197. That is an 89% discount on the program. Get It Now! 3) The Program + A Lot Of Help: You will receive the bonus audio, the program, and five one-on-one sessions with me. Imagine what it will like to have someone walking with you helping to clear out these issues. You get all of this for $787. When you do this you receive the whole system free of charge! Get It Now! Act Today!People just like you are taking control of their lives and taking the action that they want. Join them today. Don't miss this opportunity to transform the way you approach your problems. When you order you will be given instant access to all the downloads. Do it now: Yes! I want access to the system right now. Gene PS: The longer you wait to get clear the longer you are going to be stuck where you are right now. That is time that you are never going to get back. The sooner you take action the sooner you will have what you want. Order now! |
When Sally asked me to put my coach hat on I didn't just start asking her random questions, but instead I worked her through a specific process designed to move us from confusion, to clarity, and then to action.Pod #169: Clearing The Habits Created By Old Root Causes
Over the last few years I have noticed a pattern with a number of my clients. It would play out something like this…
- Client would come to me with an issue
- We would work to find the root cause
- They would have relief for a few weeks
- The symptoms would come back
- We would do more work looking for more root cause, but would find nothing
As I researched what all these clients had in common it turned out that all of them had come to me for an issue that had been with them a long time and the actions they were taking were no longer motivated by the root cause, but had instead become a habit.
In this audio from the 2015 Spring Energy Event I show you how this phenomena happens and 5 times you can do clear the habit created by root issues after you clear the root issue.
Pod #168: Is It OK For Christians To Use EFT
(Today's podcast is sponsored by PRM. Click the link to get 20% off your order.)
One of the reasons that EFT is so appealing is that it can be easily combined with other tools and modalities. In fact I know few people who do just EFT.
The problem with this for a newcomer to EFT is knowing what is EFT and what is the stuff that is added to it. This becomes even more complicated for Christians because it is often the other things that are combined with EFT that make many of them uncomfortable.
Most people who visit this site don't know that since 1997 I have traveled the US and Canada working in Catholic youth ministry with the group APeX Ministries. We have worked with hundreds of thousands of young people. We were even Pope John Paul II’s opening act in 2001.
Because of this I have had the opportunity to give a lot of thought to and have a lot of conversations about whether it is OK for Christians to be using EFT.
To be clear, I am not a theologian or am I an ecclesial minister (meaning I am not commissioned by or speaking for the church). These are the questions I am asked, the reasons I feel comfortable using EFT, and the setting within which I feel comfortable using it.
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
The Problem With “I Should”
A few weeks ago in When You Explain Cause And Effect Wrong It Makes Your Life Harder I started with:
When I am listening to my clients talk about their issues I am not just listening for the meaning of what they are sharing, but I am also listening to the very specific words they are using.
The words we use to describe something will impact the way we understand a situation which then in turn impacts our emotional response to the situation.
The example I love to use is when my client “Deb” said “Everyone at work hates me!”
I asked, “Really, everyone?”
She replied, “No. It's really just Dave and Sue.”
You can see the emotional difference between “everyone” hating us and just two people hating us. (And that doesn't even get into if they really do hate Deb.)
Should, Shouldn't And Ought To
This week we are looking at another way in which we use language that leads us to respond to our daily experience in ways that aren’t useful. In this article we are examining the words “should”, “shouldn't” and “ought to”.
The problem with these words is that often we give them too much weight.
When we say should or ought what we mean is “it would be my preference to have” but on an emotional level it feels like “I have failed because I haven't.”
The same is true with shouldn't. What we mean is “it would be my preference not to have” but we feel it as “I failed because I did.”
Let's look at a few examples.
“I should have gotten more work done today.”
* What we mean when we say this: “In order to stay on track with this project I would have liked to have gotten more done today.”
* What we feel when we say this: “I have failed today because I don't live up to my expectations.”
“I should have been born in a different era.”
* What we mean when we say this: “Because of my world view and preferences my life might be more enjoyable if I had been born at a different time.”
* What we feel when we say this: “I am in the wrong time and this will always be painful for me.”
“You shouldn't be mad at me.”
* What we mean when we say this: “It hurts me that you are mad at me and you might feel differently if you have more information.”
* What we feel when we say this: “You are not allowed to feel this way and you are betraying me by doing so.”
You can see the clear emotional difference between what we mean and what we end up feeling. In all of these examples what we feel will have a much stronger (and often much less healthy) response to what is going on.
My Preference Would Be
When one of my clients uses a should, ought to, or shouldn't I generally ask a the question “What proof do you have that it has to be this way?” Often this is enough to help them to see they are turning an opinion or preference into a fact.
When you are doing work on your own and you notice you are use one of these words, try the simple step of replacing them with “it would be my preference”.
“I should have gotten more work done today” becomes “It would have been my preference to have gotten more work done today.” It is also helpful to ask the reason why. So this example now becomes “It would have been my preference to have gotten more work done today because then we would still be on track and I wouldn't be rushing around.”
There is still an emotional charge to that statement, but instead of feeling like a failure we feel a little rushed or overwhelmed because of the work we need to do. Even though the second emotion is also negative it is easier to respond to it in a healthier way.
Sometimes We Really Should Do Something
There will be some cases where using the word should is helpful and we don't want to make the substitution.
For example, “I should not embezzle money from my employer” is more accurate than “It would be my preference not to embezzle money from my employer.”
If you are looking for more resources about how to respond to the things you should do check out EFT For Shoulders And Shoulds where Gwenn Bonnell shares a simple tapping process for things you feel like you should do.
Pod #167: How Many Tapping Sessions Do I Need To Clear My Issue 100%
This week's podcast sponsored by Pain Relief Miracle.
One of the biggest mistakes I see people make with tapping is not spending enough time on an issue to make sure that it is completely cleared.
Because tapping brings relief so quickly in the moment it is easy to feel like we are done with the issue but in reality that’s often not the case.
A good way to think of it is to compare it to cleaning a room. While you are cleaning you feel great about the progress you are making. You feel satisfied with a job well done.
Then you leave the room and when you return you realize it wasn't was clean as you thought to begin with. It is not that the room got messier, but when you were cleaning the room you could see that it was so much better than before.
Upon returning you were no longer comparing it to how bad it was, but instead you are seeing it for what it is.
The same thing happens when we tap. While tapping we are only comparing our current state to what we just moved through, but we don't always have a clear picture if we have done enough.
In this week's podcast I share how we can know if we are 100% (and if we even need to be 100% clear).