 photo by Scott Ableman |
We know the more specific we are when describing the issue, the faster we are going to find relief. Sometimes we think we are being specific when we really are not being as specific as possible.
Most of the time when I am working with a client and I ask them how they are feeling at any given point in the session I am given a one-word answer. “Angry.” “Sad.” “Confused.” I normally will ask a follow-up question along the lines of “[insert emotion] how?”
The reason I do this is because there are many different shades to emotions. There is “angry = I need space” and “angry = I need to punch the wall.” The clearer we are with the particular shade of the emotion, the easier it is going to be to clear it out.
Below you will find a list of physical and emotional needs created by The Center For Nonviolent Communication. This list can be very helpful when you are trying to describe what you would like to achieve. It is not enough to say, “I want to be happy.” Figure out what happy means to you. I would keep this list handy when tapping. Just read through the list and see which emotions ring true at the moment.
[h/t to Rod Sherwin’s blog for pointing out this resource.]
| CONNECTION acceptance affection appreciation belonging cooperation communication closeness community companionship compassion consideration consistency empathy inclusion intimacy love mutuality nurturing respect/self-respect |
CONNECTION continued safety security stability support to know and be known to see and be seen to understand and be understood trust warmth PHYSICAL WELL-BEING |
HONESTY authenticity integrity presence PLAY PEACE AUTONOMY |
MEANING awareness celebration of life challenge clarity competence consciousness contribution creativity discovery efficacy effectiveness growth hope learning mourning participation purpose self-expression stimulation to matter understanding |
(c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication
Website: www.cnvc.org Email: cnvc@cnvc.org
Phone: +1.505-244-4041
Gene, where can I read part I and II? Thank you!
All three parts can be found @ http://tappingqanda.com/tag/the-center-for-nonviolent-communication/