• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Leave A Tip

Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

  • Learn Tapping
  • Podcast
  • Video
  • About Gene
  • Work w/ Gene
  • Archive
    • Every Post Ever
    • Q&A
    • Podcast
    • Videos
    • Tools
    • Tap Along
    • Sessions
  • Events
  • Contact Us

The Growing Up Method

June 25, 2010 by Gene Monterastelli


photo by flydime

I am always on the look for new ways and easy ways to get tap on issues. Here is a great process by Natalie Hill. (Natalie writes regularly on new ways to approach tapping at EFT Tapping Techniques.

I really like Natalie’s process because it is very straight forward and allows you to be very easy with yourself when coming up with phrases. I receive questions all the time about what is the right phrases to be used for a specific issue. The process is as easy as explaining to a close friend what is going on, what you would like to be able handle, and what you would like the outcome to be. Is a prefect example of how flexible the tapping protocols can be.

Step One: Dumping

When you first tune in to a strong emotional issue…

…you may hear things a two, five, 10 or 15-year old might think and feel.

Dumping is the ideal place to start, when you’re in that immature place.

In other words, for the first phase and rounds of this tapping technique, allow yourself be petty and childish.

Dump, vent, rant, whine, complain, moan, gripe.

Let all the negative out.

Don’t worry about accentuating or increasing the positive –
– you are doing a psychological cleanse.

Up and out with those petty thoughts and emotions.

If you ignore the crummy thoughts and feelings, try to deny or repress them, they will prevent you from fully resolving the issue. You’ll have an inner conflict, even if you’re not consciously aware of it.

After a few rounds of Dumping, you’ll feel a lot better.

The way I would do this step is just to start talking. Don’t worry about crafting the perfect tapping phrase. Just start letting it out. As you do this just move from tapping point to tapping point. Just tap and let it out.

This is a great first step. I often refer to this step clearing the decks. Yes, it is very important to be very specific on the issue that we are tapping on, but sometimes there is so much spinning around in our head that it is impossible to focus. By dumping in this fashion we are going to clear out all the extraneous emotions and thoughts. This is the step that is going to allow us to find our way to what is really at the heart of the issue.

Often time when I this type of step with my clients a great deal of clarity is found. They go from “feeling really frustrated” to being able name what is really going on, giving us a great spring board to go after the deeper roots.

This step is not meant to take care of the issue completely. As Natalie writes, ” When you’re feeling somewhat better, down from where you started (or from an 8, 9 or 10) to somewhere between 4 and 7, move to Dreaming.”

Step Two: Dreaming

Dreaming is the way we sneak the change we want by the conscious and unconscious gatekeepers that don’t want us to change.

In this tapping technique, we are introducing the possibility of letting go of the stuck place, without raising so many objections.

In the dreaming phase, we start our EFT affirmations with the words,

“Wouldn’t it be nice if…”
“Wouldn’t it be great if…” or
“What if…”

For example if we were tapping for overwhelm, this might be your Dreaming tapping round:

Eyebrow: What if I could slow down a little?
Side of Eye: What if I could acknowledge that I don’t have to do everything right now?
Under Eye: What if could just focus on one task at a time?
Under Nose: Wouldn’t it be nice if I could relax, knowing I can’t get it all done in a day?
Chin: Wouldn’t it be nice if I could feel more confidence in myself?
Collarbone: Wouldn’t it be nice if I could trust that it will all work out?
Under Arm: What if I could focus on just the most important thing first?
Top of Head: What if I could let go of everything else?

You can do one, or several rounds in this Dreaming phase.

I love using questions when tapping. The subconscious mind does a wonderful job of filling in the blanks. Often times when we tap in this fashion we are going to come to insights and realizations. Clients often report a being amazed that the things there own system comes up with when tapping on questions.

One recommendation I might add to this is not to rush through a list of questions like these. Instead, linger on each question for a few tapping points allowing the system to sit with each questions, giving it a chance to provide useful information.

Natalie recommends that you do this type of tapping until you have reached the SUDs level of 3 or lower.

Step Three: Deciding

This will be your final round or two. Its intent is to bring you to a fully positive and empowered state, with your desired result.

You begin your EFT affirmations in this Deciding part of the process with the phrases,

“I have decided…” and
“I choose…”

To continue our example of tapping on feeling overwhelmed, this final round would go like this:

Eyebrow: I have decided I actually can handle everything I want and need to do.
Side of Eye: I have decided to focus on just one task at a time.
Under Eye: I have decided to feel confident about my abilities.
Under Nose: I choose to relax and do one thing at a time.
Chin: I choose to trust my judgment.
Collarbone: I choose to know that it will all work out fine.
Under Arm: I choose to remember I’m good at prioritizing.
Top of Head: I have decided to feel calm and confident.

It is amazing how much of a difference making a choice can make. Even if it is about something in the future, the simple act of committing to something moves the mind from the place of living in all of the possible outcomes.

I would also add “I give myself permission…” to this list of tapping phrases. I have found that giving permission is a powerful act that allows us to make transformation.

Natalie thoughtfully adds:

If, in any stage of this process, a new disturbing emotion or memory arises, take a little side-trip by returning to Dumping to clear it. Use the whole Growing Up process on that new emotion or memory. Then return to the place you left off in the process.

Related articles and podcasts:

  1. I Can’t Focus
  2. A Formula To Come Up With Phrases…AKA I don’t know what to say
  3. No Words At All – AKA: I don’t know what to say (part 4)
  4. Using Process Instructions [UPDATE]
  5. Overwhelmed By How Much Healing I Need

Filed Under: Tools Tagged With: Guest Author, How To, Natalie Hill, Negative Phrases, Phrases

Comments

  1. Natalie (EFT Tapping) says

    July 25, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    Gene, I so appreciate your thoughtful “dissection” of my Growing Up Method. You’ve given me some new things to think about. I especially like the idea of posing questions in the Dreaming rounds and pausing to see what comes up.

    Don’t you just love the flexibility of EFT and the way we can create innovative new ways to take it deeper and help it become even more transformative?

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

10 Steps To Stop Self-Sabotage

Get your FREE 10 step guide to using EFT to stop self-sabotage in your life.

Search Tapping Q & A

Meet Gene Monterastelli

Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
Gene’s Full Bio & Services


Subscribe via: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcast | Android Phone | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | Audible | iHeart Radio | Castbox | Alexa | Stitcher | TuneIn | Deezer | aCast | Himalaya | Overcast | Luminary | RSS
Visit the complete Podcast Archive

Apple App | Google/Android App

 

This book is not just about EFT and tapping for anger. The book contains some of the most comprehensive step-by-step tapping tools that can be used for all emotions and can be added to your tapping tool set right away.

For every book purchased, four inmates will also receive a copy of the book.

For every book purchased 4 inmates will also receive a copy of the book.

Paperback | Kindle Version

Copyright © 2025 · Refund Policy · Terms of Use· Privacy Policy