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Not Knowing Where To Start

January 22, 2010 By Gene Monterastelli 3 Comments

I am new to Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping and love it, but I don’t know where to start. I set time aside everyday to tap. When I sit down to tap either nothing comes to mind or everything comes to mind all at once. I know there are lots of areas of my life that need transformation. Any suggestion on getting started?

photo by Jon Marshall

One of the misconceptions we have about tapping is the belief that we need to know what we are going to be tapping on before we start tapping. We think, “I need to know exactly the issue at hand and what I am going to use as my set-up phrases before I can begin.”

Here are few suggestions that will help you when you find yourself in this situation.

Tap While You Are Trying To Figure Out What To Tap On
Yes, it is true the more specific we are the faster we are going to find results. This does mean that we are going to be unsuccessful while we are being unspecific. As a starting point I recommend that you tap while you are trying to figure out what the issue is you would like to tap on.

For example, you know that work is causing you stress. There could be lots of reasons for this. It could be your relationship with your co-workers, a demanding supervisor, a pressing dead line, or work that is unfulfilling. It might even be many or all of these things.

It is a good idea to figure out exactly what part of your workday that is causing you stress. Instead of making this two steps, figuring out the issue(s) and tapping, why not do both at the same time. While you are thinking though your workday and all the relationships you have with co-workers you should be tapping. Not only will this help you clarify the issues faster it will also start to bring relief before you do your specific tapping for an issue.

This process can be used for any and all parts of your life. You know that you want better health, stronger relationships, success in your work, ease at public speaking, or anything else. Just start tapping, moving from point to point, as you think about this part of your life. I have found when I do this I feel calmer and find my way to clarity of the real issues I need to be working on.

Tap On Not Knowing What To Tap On
Another very useful tool you can use when you don’t know exactly what to tap on is to tap on not know what to tap on. It could look something like this:

I know I need to do some tapping…I know tapping has worked in the past…and it can work now…I know the more specific I am about the issue the faster tapping can work…and right now I am not sure what to tap on…but just because I don’t know what to tap on…doesn’t mean that I can’t be successful right now…as I tap and try and figure out what to tap on…I know I am making a small bit of progress….I know I don’t need to know all the details of what is at hand for progress…by relaxing about needing to know exactly what I need to work on…will make it easy for me to make progress…therefore I choose to let the problems unfold in front of me slowly….knowing the system will give me the information I need for healing when I need it….the system knows the rate I can heal safely…

I have found this sort of tapping bring clarity very quickly to very specific areas that we can tap on.

Stress About The Issus
What I have found in my practice (both in dealing with my own issues and with working with my clients) is often times the stress about an issue/situation is much trouble some than the issue/situation itself.

Often times when we are able to release and relieve the stress we have around an issue we are able to look at what is going on much more objectively and find an outcome that is very satisfactory.

To that end, when we don’t know where to start with an issue and great place to start is with the stress you feel about the situation. In many cases I have found just by dealing with the stress of the issue we can find as much as 80% (and often times total) relief before we even deal with the issue at hand.

Here is a list of great ways to start off dealing with an issue.

Reframes for stress:

  • I don’t have to deal with this all at once
  • I don’t have to deal with all of these issues all at once
  • It might not be the big deal I am making it out to be
  • I have dealt with things tougher than this
  • People really aren’t thinking of me as much as I think
  • I don’t have to go diving into all the issue to heal this
  • The stress is just a signal telling me something is wrong
  • Things are not going to be this way forever
  • It might think it helping by running, but it is going to get worse by running from it
  • I can release this issue without knowing what the root causes are
  • I can release this issue without having to know what the original event was
  • I can release this issue without having to dive in the a past painful memory

If you follow these three approaches you will find your way to what the specifies are you need to tap on as well as to relief quickly with tapping.

Related articles and podcasts:

  1. Not Knowing Where To Begin/A Good Way To Start
  2. Struggling To Get Tapping/EFT To Work
  3. Not Knowing What To Tap On
  4. I don’t know where to start.
  5. Not Knowing What To Tap On/Tapping To Help Getting To Sleep/Tapping For Relaxation

Filed Under: Q&A Tagged With: Awareness, Don't Know What Words To Say, Focus, Phrases, Starting

Comments

  1. Andrea says

    January 28, 2010 at 7:24 am

    Great inspiration Gene, thanks for that.

    Andrea

    Reply
  2. Karylee Bonta says

    January 28, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    Great suggestions, Gene! I know these three really struck home for me, especially imagining that other people are thinking about me far much more than they actually are. I’m working on it today!

    # I have dealt with things tougher than this
    # People really aren’t thinking of me as much as I think
    # I don’t have to go diving into all the issue to heal this

    Reply
  3. marion says

    January 30, 2010 at 10:32 am

    this was great help this morning, because i feel stuck and want to clear stuff out that i can’t really put my
    my “fingers” on. so i wait to see, what God will bring up in me…very creative!
    thank you for you sharing your insights!
    be blessed
    marion

    Reply

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Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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