Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod 246: Why It Is Important to Be Selfish

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whyitsimportanttobeselfishNote: This week's topic is so important that I have written an article and recorded a podcast. The article shares the same ideas, but is not a transcript of the podcast. This way you can choose the form that works best for you. The tapping script is identical in both the article and podcast.

I think that being selfish gets a really bad rap. Most people think that being selfish is bad and we are taught from a young age to be giving and not selfish.

Personally I don’t believe that being selfish and being giving are opposites.

Instead, I believe that every action I take is a selfish one because it is a self-defining act. Let me give you a few ridiculous examples to help prove my point.

  • Right now as I type this article I am taking a deep breath in, which means I am being selfish. There is no other reason to breathe than to stay alive. That is very selfish.
  • When I choose to love my family I am being selfish because I want to be a loving person. When I choose to love someone (and it is a choice), I am defining myself as a loving person.
  • When I choose to run my practice and help other people, I am being selfish because I am choosing how I use my time. Yes, I am helping people, and that is a great thing, but I am not healing them. That is their choice. I am just a guide in the process. They are being selfish when they choose to heal. I am being selfish when I choose to articulate who I am as a person who guides others on this path.

I know these examples are extremes, but I think they bring out the point because we tend to think of being selfish in such extreme terms.

Not only is it OK to be selfish, it is impossible not to be selfish because every action we make with our conscious choice is a self-defining act.

When I work out to get healthier, I am being selfish because I could be doing other things with my time. When I study a new skill, I am being selfish in order to make myself a different type of person. I am being selfish when I take a nap so I can be more present to my clients later in the afternoon.

It is OK to be selfish.

The reason you are still feeling uncomfortable every time you read that is because it is easy to believe that selfish equals greedy, mean, heartless, and willing to hurt others. We need to be selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we will never be able to take care of others.

We need to be selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves then we aren’t taking care of ourselves.

We need to be selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves we are never going to grow and heal in to who we truly are.

Yes, I know you are still resisting this, despite my repetition. That is OK. Tapping for this might sound like:

I don’t want to be selfish…Because I need to care for other people…There are people who have it so much worse than I do…That I can’t ask for anything more or better…And the things I have…I have squandered…It would be really selfish to ask for more…But I choose to know that selfish means I am making self-defining act…Every choice I make is a selfish act…I can love someone else and be selfish…Because I want to be love…I can care for someone else because they are in need and be selfish…Because I want to be giving…This doesn’t take anything away from those loving acts…This doesn’t mean they are less valuable…It just means that when I am sharing…I am also defining myself…It is OK to want better for myself…Because I can then share with others…It is OK to want more for myself because then I can share more of myself with others…I am worthy of taking care of myself…That is not greedy…That is being healthy….I need to be healthy…I must be healthy…It is OK that I don’t think being selfish is a bad thing…I don’t want to be mean…I don’t want to be greedy…But those are not the same as being selfish…To be selfish is to choose the type of self I want to be.

Pod #245: “What If” Tapping w/ Julie Schiffman

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When we are in a great deal of emotional or physical pain it can be a struggle to believe it can get better. We might believe that our situation can be manageable, but we have lost hope in true transformation.

Once we feel hopeless, our natural state is not to take action. Subconsciously we understand that if better isn't possible, then taking action will be a waste of time. We choose to do nothing in order to save fruitless effort.

Julie Schiffman has come up with the perfect tapping tool for times like these. Instead pushing ourselves to what feels unreasonable, it is a form of tapping were we simply wonder “what would happen if” our situation were to change.

It is a very gentle tool that will move us from hopelessness to action. In this conversation not only does Julie share how to do it, she gives a great demonstration to which you can tap along.

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Guest:Julie Schiffman

Contact: web @ JulieSchiffman.com; facebook @ Julie Schiffman EFT; instagram @Julieschiffman_tapintolife; youtube channel @ Julie Schiffman; YouTube demonstrations @ over 100 videos

About:Julie Schiffman, MSW, is an internationally recognized Expert EFT Practitioner. For more than 20 years, she has counseled thousands of clients, helping them break through physical and emotional barriers. Her life-changing YouTube videos have been viewed more than 4 million times.

She is best known for her expertise in helping others heal from pain, disease, weight issues, phobias and other emotional and physical stressors.

She was formerly the chief EFT practitioner for Dr. Mercola’s Center for Natural Health for over 15 years. Julie has been a featured presenter at the “Tapping World Summit” every year since its inception in 2008.

Pod #244: Sharing EFT With Conservative Communities w/ Manal Khalife

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sharing-eft-with-conservative-communitiesAnything that is new and different takes time to be accepted into the mainstream. EFT is no different.

EFT has the added hurdle of often being paired with other practices and modalities that are outside the mainstream.

In this conversation I talk with Manal Khalife about how we can best present EFT to individuals and communities who would not see the value of tapping, and might even perceive it as dangerous.

Manal Khalife
Manal Khalife

Guest: Manal Khalife

Contact: Web @ ManalKhalife.com/; twiter @ iammanalk; facebook @ iammanalk;

About: Manal Khalife is a Stress and Emotions Coach, helping women who want to learn how to handle stress, let go of emotional pain, make peace with past experiences, and move forward with confidence. She specializes in working with postpartum depression.

Pod #243: EFT For When We Are Waiting On Others To Make A Choice

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eft-for-when-you-are-waiting-on-others-to-chooseThere is so much of the world that we do not control. We are surrounded by people, just like us, who are making choices and exercising their free will.

In many ways, we can't escape the impact of other people's choices, especially when we are collaborating with others.

That means we often have to wait on someone else to make a choice so that we can move forward with what we want to do. We can be worried that they will make a choice that we don't like OR we can feel stuck because we can't do anything until they choose.

Here is a simple tap-along to find peace while waiting on others to choose.

A full transcript of the tap-along can be found below the player.

I recognize the fact that one of the reasons I am so frustrated is because I have a clear vision of what I want…it's something I am super excited about and I know how good it's going to be…I know how it's going to make my life better…the problem is I can't do it on my own…I need someone else to say yes…I'm glad I have someone I can work with…I'm glad I have someone I might be able to go through this with because it is going to be so much better because they are at my side…I know it is something that is impossible for me to do on my own…but it is really hard waiting for them to say yes because I want this so badly…if they wanted it like I want it then they already would have said yes…the fact that they haven't said yes feels like a judgement…feels like they're saying I'm not worthy…feels like they might want to do it but with someone else…it feels as if my desires aren't important…it feels as if my wants aren't important…I can understand that other people have choice…I'm glad other people have choice…I only want them to do what is right for them but I also recognize the fact it is hard waiting…I give myself permission to know that them not answering is not a judgement on me…them not answering is not a rejection…them not answering is simply them thinking…making sure it is the right fit for them …I'm glad they're being thoughtful…I can appreciate that they're being deliberate…this is how it fits into their life…it's not a judgment of me…even if this doesn't work out…no matter how great this is…this is not my last opportunity…this is not my last chance…this is not my only chance…I can and will have more opportunities…I give myself permission to be open to knowing that if I keep taking deliberate action good will come

Pod #242: EFT for Peak Performance w/ Gina Parris

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Once we have learned a basic skill, our ability to be successful while doing that skill is very dependent on how we are feeling at the time of performing the action.

If we feel confident, we will perform to the best of our ability and will be able to handle problems with grace and ease. If we feel worried or overwhelmed, we will make mistakes and not perform at our best.

Gina Parris works closely with business professionals and athletes to help them to work at their peak state. In this conversation we talk about what can get in the way of peak performance and how we can use tapping to perform better.


Gina Parris

Guest: Gina Parris

Contact: web @ GinaParris.com web @ WinningAtRomance.com

About Gina: Gina Parris is a speaker and performance coach. She works with competitors who want to play at their peak under any pressure. Gina is an expert on overcoming performance anxiety – whether in your most public performance or in your most “intimate” game. Gina has been a practitioner of EFT since 2004.

[Note: As we talked about in this interview, there are many reasons why we might feel worried when we are taking action. If you are finding that anxiety is holding you back from taking action I would encourage you to check out the Ruach Center. There are over 160 tap-along audios designed to help you get out of your own way and take the action you want.]