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Pod #379: The Problem With Goals And Expectations

August 19, 2019 by Gene Monterastelli

I am a huge proponent of goal setting.

Having clearly defined goals is helpful in two ways. First, it helps to define the actions we need to take to achieve them. Second, it gives us a measuring stick with which to evaluate our efforts along the way and after the fact.

Without having set goals I wouldn’t be as happy and successful as I am. I love goal setting so much that I created an entire web site dedicated to working toward your goals.

But there is a problem with goals: they create expectations.

Expectations aren’t the problem, but they can create a false dichotomy. On a subconscious level we may believe that either we achieve our goals as written OR we have failed, with nothing in between.

Failing to recognize our progress can demotivate us.

In this short audio and tap-along I talk about how you can avoid the feeling of all or nothing that setting goals can create. (As always, the full tapping script can be found below the audio player.)

If you are interested in a systematic way of using tapping to achieve your goals and avoiding common pitfalls like the “all-or-nothing” disposition, I encourage you to check out The Ruach Center

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There is a part of me…That wants me to be successful…That wants so much better for myself…That wants me to move forward…It wants me to achieve my goals…I am so happy that there is a part of me that wants to be successful…That wants better…That knows I am capable of more…I can appreciate where I am…I can appreciate the blessings in my life…And still recognize the fact that more is possible…That growth is possible…That progress is possible…But sometimes I look at my goals and I feel disappointed…I feel sad…I feel overwhelmed…I feel angry…I feel frustrated…Because I haven’t reached those goals…I know how much better my life will when I achieve them…But I’m not there yet…And that feels so disappointing…But I give myself permission to recognize the fact…That success is not an all-or-nothing proposition…It doesn’t come down to simply success or simply failure…As I take steps…As I work towards my goal…I’m positioning myself to achieve what I want…And there will be success along the way…I am already getting better…I’m already making progress…When I don’t take the time to acknowledge and appreciate that progress…I do myself a disservice…I end up demotivating myself…I make it harder for myself…To keep taking action…I give myself permission to recognize the fact that I am making progress…I am having success…It is making a difference…Success is not an all-or-nothing proposition…As I move forward…And as I get closer…Success comes with me…Success grows…And as those degrees of success increase…So does my enjoyment…So does my enrichment…So does the quality of my life…I give myself permission to keep striving for better…To work towards my well-crafted goals…To appreciate the progress I’m making in the moment… To appreciate how this progress is helping me to have a better life right now.

Related articles and podcasts:

  1. Your Goals Are Holding You Back
  2. Using EFT For Goals That Are Hard To Measure
  3. Video: How To Use EFT After You Have Failed To Reach Your Goals (w/ Tap-Along)
  4. Pod #309: EFT for Carrying the Expectations of Others
  5. 5 Surprising Reasons You Haven’t Reached Your Goals (plus 5 EFT scripts)

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Goals, Resistance

Comments

  1. Ruth says

    May 2, 2023 at 2:49 pm

    Thank you, Gene. I found this tapping at the exact right time.

    Reply

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Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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